The Lips of an Angel
by Corrosionz
Summary: M for language, violence, and lemons. Takes place after the defeat of the Ultimecia. What happens next, is all as peaceful as it seems to be? Review and lemme know whatcha think.
1. Reunited

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII or any of its characters…SADLY!**

**Rating: M for language violence and fluff.**

* * *

_**The Lips of an Angel**_

"It's my fuckin' hotdog, lay off!"

"Listen to me, I got here first so it's _my_ hotdog!"

'_How about you both just shut the hell up_?' The brown haired fighter sitting across the table from the two who were arguing thought to himself.

"No, it's mine. Listen, let's ask Squall. Hey Squall-"

"No."

"Wha-? What the hell man, you're supposed to take my side!"

Squall sighed, his blue eyes clearly not entertained by the whole event unfolding before him, "Listen, it's just a hotdog. How about one of you go back up to the counter and get another one that way you both have one?"

Zell folded his muscular arms, "Oy, don't you think we would have done that already? I got the last one but Selphie here seems to think that this hotdog belongs to her."

"It does, you cut in front of me," the brunette stated matter-of-factly, sweeping strands of hair from her clearly amused face.

"It doesn't belong to you if you stole it outta my hands, Selphie! Dammit."

The girl laughed, "A little aggressive about these hotdogs aren't you?"

Zell growled, his eyes wild, "I go on a long ass fight to get rid of that sorceress and the only thing I craved the whole time was one of the Garden's hotdogs. The first chance I actually get to eat them you go and jack it right outta my hands!"

"Aw, wah, wah. Someone call the wah-mbulance," Selphie snickered, raising the hotdog to her lips.

The feisty blond beside her leaned towards her, a finger poked directly into her face, "Don't you dare take a bite of that."

Squall cleared his throat, not entirely enjoying the looks that were getting sent their way. It was very uncomfortable. "Would you two just stop it?"

Selphie took the attention Zell had diverted to listen and look at Squall to take a heaping bite, licking her lips at the mustard that had been left as proof of her sin. Zell whipped around when he heard her chewing, his eyes wide with astonishment, "What the hell, Selphie? Fuckin' shit!"

'_Thank god, now he can let it go_,' Squall thought to himself, taking a drink of his water.

There was a wail of annoyance and then a scream of surprise. Squall shifted his eyes back to the two friends who were battling over the hotdog. '_Oh god…_' Zell was standing up, his fists shaking as he looked down at the floor. Squall cleared his throat as he leaned over the table to see what he suspected: Selphie lying on her back, mustard and hotdog was thrown all over her chest, her face wearing a similar design. '_There's my cue to leave_.'

The SeeD leader got up from the table without the slightest noise, grabbing his water and turning to head back to the third level.

"What the hell Zell, didn't your mom ever tell you not to be a complete asshole to a woman?"

"WELL IF ONE ACTS LIKE A WOMAN SHE'LL BE TREATED LIKE ONE, SELPHIE!"

At least up there he didn't have to listen to the other people in the cafeteria snigger and point at Zell and Selphie. Even though the attention wasn't directly focused on him; he didn't like the idea that he was that close to being the middle of things yet again.

A few students ran past Squall, most of which were underclassmen girls, giggling and smiling at him sheepishly as they passed him. His face burned red when he felt them turn to look at him after they had passed him, smiling and giggling further he was sure. '_I hate my life sometimes_.'

"Too bad that girl has her claws sunk in or I'd totally ask him to go to the formal with me."

"Kari you're horrible! Besides, he wouldn't be interested in you silly. You're not serious enough."

He felt a slight growl slip from his throat as he approached the elevator. Most girls were just so utterly annoying that it was simply unbearable. _Most_ girls.

Squall waited patiently for the elevator to end its journey to the third floor, the doors opening with a '**ding!**'

"Ah you're back."

He nodded, the long brown strands that he called his hair falling into his scarred face slightly. His cold eyes shifted to find Quistis and Irvine standing by the controls of the Garden.

"Where is Selphie, I've been waiting on her to come back to get me after her lunch but she hasn't been back yet," Irvine muttered to Squall, worry filling his voice.

"She's in the cafeteria fighting Zell over a hotdog. That's probably what has slowed down her progress," the gunblade wielder told him, his eyes remaining completely unchanged as he relived the memories of the events inside the cafeteria.

"He has an unhealthy fascination with those hotdogs!" Irvine grumbled, tipping his hat as he darted from the room, towards the café no doubt.

Quistis giggled, "Well, it sounds like your day is already turning out to be quite interesting."

"Lucky me," Squall breathed, heading up to the control panel to check the projected arrival of the Garden to Fisherman's Horizon.

"You seem to be in a mood today," his former instructor commented, coming to stand next to him.

"I just don't understand why they always have to draw attention to themselves. It's ridiculous."

The blonde next to him adjusted her glasses, a sly smile on her face, "I'm sure it's their behavior that has you upset. It couldn't be the fact that Rinoa hasn't checked in from her patrol, could it?"

Squall's eyes locked with hers before he returned his focus back to the control panel, "Maybe," he said in his usual monotone.

Quistis placed her hand on his shoulder, her face turning red with embarrassment at her brash move, "Don't worry, Squall. She's fine. That's why we're heading back to Fisherman's Horizon so we can dock, stay the night, and most importantly, retrieve Rinoa."

He didn't answer. Another smile tugged at the corners of former-instructor Trepe's mouth, "You worry too much about her. She's a woman, Squall. She can take care of herself you know. Besides, she wouldn't let anything keep her from her knight would she?"

"Whatever."

He shot her a look when he heard her say his overused word at the same time he did. She laughed again, "Oh Squall, it never gets old. You know," she said, clearing her throat, her hand falling down from his shoulder to touch his gloved hand, "if you want, tonight I could assume command and you could have a night to enjoy Rinoa's company. I know you've been missing her, how long has it been now, a week? I think it's long overdue that you take time for yourself, you work-a-holic."

The SeeD leader thought this through for the longest time before his desire to see the rebel leader consumed him, "Alright, granted. Thank you, Quistis."

The blonde's face seemed to fall ever so slightly, the fact that she had feelings for Squall more than obvious. Everyone knew it, it was so obvious that even Squall knew of her affections towards him but he had also done nothing to encourage these feelings. Everyone knew where his feelings lied, and he made no point in hiding it either. Rinoa was the only person that he didn't have to hide who he was with; she loved him in all of his oddness.

Quistis nodded, "Ah, it seems that we have arrived to Fisherman's Horizon. Prepare to dock."

************

The sea winds seemed particularly active today as Zell, Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, and Squall stood on the docks of Fisherman's Horizon, waiting for the return of their spunky companion.

"Aha, there she is!" Zell yelled, the wind muting his voice slightly. He waved his hands in the air, jumping up and down simultaneously as he did so. Everyone's eyes followed his to find the light blue attire that adorned the small frame of Rinoa Heartily running their direction.

They quickly turned to see Squall's frame turn from rigid and unmoving to eager and expecting, his face seeming to light up upon seeing the sorceress to his knight.

"Hi everyone!" She exclaimed, running across the bridge, flailing her arms wildly in front of her. Her companions raised their hands and waved only slightly, their attention more focused on Squall. Rinoa didn't waste time in searching for Squall, finding him hidden slightly behind Zell. She jumped ever so slightly, running to him, her arms outspread.

Quistis turned to busy herself with the sea, fighting back the urge to scream at the top of her lungs as Squall opened his arms in return, offering her his chest to land in to. She made a small leap, wrapping her legs around his waist, arms securing themselves around his neck. Squall locked his hands around her lower back, an involuntary smile consuming his face as his eyes found her warm dark ones.

Selphie poked Irvine in the side, her own face adorned with a goofy grin. Zell scratched the back of his head, laughing stupidly at how happy the two seemed together. They had deserved the peace that their world endured now. It was mostly thanks to Squall that any of this was possible after all. The world would be forever indebted to the knight and his love for his sorceress.

Rinoa's bright smile seemed to radiate through all of Fisherman's Horizon as she stared into Squall's ice blue eyes, "I've missed you."

He didn't comment, he simply responded with a smile that was uniquely Squall.

The SeeD's beauty buried her face into his shoulder, breathing in his scent, her heart humming in content.

Zell took a spot next to Quistis, prodding her with his elbow, "What's with the tears?" He asked her in a whisper. She shook her head, wiping at the tears quickly, "Nothing, just happy for them is all."

Irvine and Selphie locked their fingers together as they walked back into the Garden, talking back and forth about how much being in love suited Squall.

"I let Quistis take command tonight so that we could have a night to ourselves. It has been far too long since we have had time to speak and be alone, that is if you would like to spend the evening in my company," Squall informed Rinoa. The squeeze around his neck he felt confirmed his offer.

"What time should I be ready?"

"Eight o'clock."

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**Alright so that was the first chapter in my new fanfic. Review and let me know how this one turned out for you. Just the beginning, lots more to come!**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	2. Date

**Disclaimer: FFVIII and all of its characters, locations, and attributes are all sole property of Square Enix and its affiliates. (Look at me sounding all proper, haha.)**

**Rating: M for language, violence, and lemony occurrences (because you know you want it *wink wink*).**

* * *

_"I was dead until the moment I met you. I was a powerless corpse pretending to be alive."-_ Lelouch Lamperouge, Code Geass

******

It had been a long time since Squall had felt this nervous. Had he ever felt this nervous? So he could fight the world's most hated and evil sorceress but he couldn't go to a simple dinner with Rinoa? Since when did this young woman have such control over him? '_She must have a spell on me…_' He thought to himself, applying a little cologne. And if she did have a spell on him, he didn't care. He would let her curse him until the day he died if this was how he was going to feel.

Unsure blue eyes stared at his appearance in the mirror. He was dressed in a black t-shirt that seemed to have shrunk in the wash slightly. '_I remember it not being so tight_!' A pair of dark blue jeans that hung a little loosely around his lower half joined the form-fitting black t-shirt, and of course his beloved black boots that he wore everywhere. It was definitely different from how people normally seen him dress but tonight called for a different attire. His hair even seemed happier, the brown pieces shinning more than usual under the light as he left his bathroom and sauntered back into his bedroom. He glanced about, hesitating as his eyes found his gunblade. His motto was similar to that of boy scouts but always being prepared wasn't exactly what any woman would consider to be sexy or romantic for that matter.

Squall jerked around to face the door when there was a loud and urgent knock, "Who is it?"

"Selphie!"

The look of absolute hatred that filled Squall's face was more than evident when he opened the door to find that toothy grin on her face that she always wore, "Hiya Squally-poo, you almost ready?"

"What are you my escort?" He asked her, the sarcasm seeming to roll off of him, just as it always did. This earned a slight giggle as she shook her head, "No silly, I just wanted to see if maybe you might need some help."

'_What does she think I don't know how to dress myself?_' Squall ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair, earning a slight look from Selphie, her eyes entranced by the slight movement, "You aren't wearing your gloves."

He held his hands out in front of him and studied the exposed flesh of his normal hidden hands. Squall frowned slightly, shifting his weight to the other leg, "What of it?"

Selphie shrugged, trying to remain as collected as possible. This was a milestone for her. She had never imagined in a million years would she ever see him without his gloves adorning his hands. Everything about Squall was such an enigma that the slightest insight into his world was certainly something that shouldn't be taken lightly, "Just sayin'."

"I see no use in you being here."

Selphie shrugged, noticing the shirt she had planted in his closet as his choice for the evening. Everything in the closet had been identical but smaller, more form fitting. Squall had a body that drove girls crazy, he shouldn't cover it up with loose fitting clothes, it just wasn't right!

"Well then, good luck tonight."

"Whatever."

The brunette grinned at her SeeD leader, poking him in the stomach, laughing at the gasp of surprise he let out as she danced away, heading towards the training area, more than likely.

Squall let out a growl of annoyance as he decided to leave his gunblade and shut off his room light, shutting his door behind him. He glanced down the long hallways, heading left towards the female dorms.

************

"Oh my god Rinoa, here he comes! Oh my god, oh my god, I'm so nervous for you!" One of the underclassmen squealed, her red hair bouncing in the air just as she did.

Rinoa laughed in her own excitement, her dark hair pulled up into an elegant pony tail, a light amount of make up covering her face, her own fragrance staining her skin. The typical white dress that Rinoa used to wear whenever she wanted to impress Squall had been updated into a strapless little number, cutting off just underneath her rounded bottom, the fabric glittering under the light, hugging every one of her curves, the purple fabric highlighting the paleness of her skin, something that seemed to work for her. While many girls strived to tan their skin, Rinoa remained comfortable in her porcelain covering, only seeming to add to her beauty.

"I can't see through your head!" The sorceress told her red-headed friend, giggling.

The other girl turned a shade of red as she jumped out of Rinoa's line of sight. And there he was, hands in his pockets, his head slightly hanging down as he approached, his physique highlighted from the shirt he wore. '_Thanks Selphie!_' She thought, her eyes wide with approval as he stopped in front of her, his own blue eyes sparkling with admiration for her appearance as well, "Hiya Squall, you look dashing!"

His own face tinted with a slight paint of pink as he nodded at her compliment, "Thanks."

The red head gave Rinoa a squeeze of the hand and gave Squall a lasting glance-over, remembering every detail of his anatomy for her report to her own friends as she hopped away.

Rinoa smiled up at her knight, relishing the sight of him being slightly embarrassed, "Don't be shy, it's just me now."

Squall straightened his back, letting out a long breath, one that he had apparently sucked in right before he had stopped in front of her a moment ago, "You look…" '_Words…words…dammit!_'

This earned a couple expectant blinks from Rinoa, who waited patiently for his appraisal, "Beautiful."

A bright smile was his reward, "Thank you."

He nodded, the weight of his compliment finally freeing itself from his shoulders, "Are you hungry?"

She nodded, slipping her hand into his, the friction of skin against skin making her retract her eager fingers in response, "You don't have your gloves on."

'_What the hell is it with girls and my gloves?!_'

Rinoa caught sight of him becoming disgruntled and quickly recovered, "I love it."

She slipped her hand back into his, her free hand touching his exposed flesh with wonder, "So what's for supper?"

Squall cleared his throat as they walked through the Garden, earning looks of delight and excited whispers from all the on-lookers, "I was thinking that we could go that restaurant on the other side of Fisherman's Horizon, and then we could go to that one spot where everyone put on that show."

Excitement radiated from her bright eyes and skin, her lips curving upwards into a smirk, "It sounds wonderful."

************

The dinner went by well, their conversation trivial, their focus more entertained with one another and the idea of finally being with each other after a long separation. Well not entirely long but longer than they cared to be away from each other.

They walked through Fisherman's Horizon, sitting down on the edge of the glassy ground as they had a night a lot like this a long time ago. "This is fun," Rinoa told Squall, nudging him with her shoulder. He responded by moving his own arm, letting her snuggle in to his side, letting out a sigh of content as he wrapped his arm around her.

"I enjoyed it."

She looked at him, both of their eyes dancing with the same emotion, "I'm glad. I like it when you're happy."

Squall broke the gaze to stare up at the sky, "You always seem to make me happy."

Rinoa grinned, her eyes fluttering shut as she took in the smell of him. It was appealing in every aspect.

"Squall, how long do you think things will stay this way?"

"What way?"

"Peaceful like this. With the sorceress finally gone and the world returning to the way it should be, how long do you think it will last?"

She heard him groan in response, clearly just as unsure as she was, "Well I guess my question would be…if things happened to where you would have to fight again, would you?"

'_What kind of question is that? I'm a SeeD for shit's sake!_' "Of course I would, Rinoa. You know that."

"Would you let me go with you?"

This earned another groan, clearly a groan of denial, "I figured. But you know I would go with you anyways, right? Wherever you go, I'm going to follow."

Squall chuckled, "I figured as much. I don't think I'd have it any other way."

Rinoa's eyes poked open as she played with the rings that adorned the necklace she wore, "Remember when Zell asked you for this?"

Squall looked down to see his wolf ring and nodded, "He asked me right in the middle of battle. I about shot him in the foot for being so stupid, but I just gave it to him."

This earned a giggle from the girl beside him, "I'm glad you gave it to him, I always keep it close to my heart."

The SeeD leader cleared his throat, his arm dropping from her shoulder. This made Rinoa frown, her face unclear, "Why did you let go?"

But he answered before she had time to think, his lips finding hers, pressing a light kiss to her pink pieces of skin.

************

"How do you suppose to do this? It's already out of hand, if you keep this up you're going to kill everyone!"

"Shut up, Johnson. I know what I'm doing."

"You're going to be possessed if you don't stop!" Johnson exclaimed, his eyes wide with fear upon seeing his mentor open his arms in acceptance, "Well then so be it," the mentor snarled, a nasty grin covering his face.

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**Alright, so there's chapter 2. Cute right? And a little peek into the plot ever so slightly. Wanna keep you guys guessing. Haha, keep the reviews coming. Chapter 3 up soon.**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	3. Reports

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII or its characters. Sadly…the things I would do…teehee. **

**Rating: M for language, violence, and sexuality (yes there will be sexuality^^).**

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Rinoa's eyes seemed to droop as she stared up at the endless sky with Squall, the stars reflecting in both their eyes.

"You're tired."

"Huh uh," she moaned, stretching her legs out, wriggling her naked toes, her high heels lying lazily in her lap.

"Uh huh, sure you're not," Squall muttered, getting to his feet, reaching down and scooping her up into his arms, her feet dangling over one arm, his other hand secure around her shoulders, her hands holding onto his neck, her shoes still safe in her lap. "I think it's time to go back to the Garden."

The fighter tightened his grip upon his beloved, taking slow steps back towards the direction of Garden, taking his sweet time in returning back to normality. Things had been so peaceful and right when it had just been him and Rinoa that the idea of heading back to their everyday life was a bit overwhelming.

"I don't want this to be over, please; can't we stay just a little longer?" Rinoa pleaded, snuggling her face into his formed chest, listening to the steady murmur of his heartbeat.

Squall sighed, wanting nothing more than to do as she asked but he knew that all that would happen is that she would fall asleep, and so would his arm. He couldn't let her sleep out in the cold like this. The right thing to do would be to say goodnight and see her in the morning. "No, not tonight Rinoa. We'll have another chance at this soon, I promise."

"Mmngh, ok," she whispered, her body growing limp as she began to doze off in his arms.

Her knight walked through Fisherman's Horizon slowly, taking in the sights of the peaceful town, loving the sound of the ocean and the laughter of everyone in the city. It was truly a magnificent town.

Before he knew it he was walking through the door of Rinoa's room, setting her down softly on her bed, slipping her high heels out of her lap and letting them fall quietly to the ground, "Goodnight, Rinoa."

Her mouth twitched into a smile as she turned onto her side, using her pillow to snuggle into instead of his chest. He watched her for a while longer before he left the room, shutting her door behind him.

************

Squall's eyes began to sink shut on his walk back to his own dorms and bedroom, the halls completely deserted until Irvine popped out from behind an overly large fern, "What the hell Irvine, what were you doing back there?"

Irvine's face turned red for a moment before he laughed, shoving a magazine back behind the fern, "That doesn't matter. Tell me, how far did you get? Home run right?"

Squall stared at him, completely unsurprised by his questions about his date with Rinoa. Irvine always did have a pervert perspective on everything. If Selphie sucked on a straw too long he would have to ask her to stop teasing him, although the poor girl had apparently been parched…or at least that was the way Squall had taken it. He wasn't the best at sighting flirting or innuendos.

"Irvine, even if I did do intimate things with Rinoa, do you think I would tell you?"

Irvine frowned, "Dude of course, that's what guys do, dish on sex with each other. Girls complain about how we're jerks and then we brag about sex. That's how the world works, duh!"

The SeeD leader rolled his eyes, scratching at the bridge of his nose, "Well I don't really think I want to take part in that stereotype."

"Ah turned you down did she?"

Anger shot through Squall like a bullet, his fingers numbing for a moment, "No she didn't, and I didn't try anything!"

"How could you not, Squall? She totally was dressed to kill. She was practically begging for it!"

This made Squall stop his retaliation for a moment; thinking back to the way Rinoa had been dressed. She had been rather seductive in her appearance but Squall found her to be beautiful in anything she wore, even sweats. "She was just trying to look nice."

"That's what chicks do; they try to look nice so they can snare a man for the night. I really think me and Zell need to have an intervention with you, man. This is kind of pathetic."

"You know what's pathetic?"

The cowboy hat wearing man shrugged, "What is?"

"How much of a girl you're going to sound like while I'm kicking your ass!" Squall growled, grabbing Irvine by the collar of his shirt.

************

The next morning, everyone met at their usual table for breakfast, Irvine sporting a royal blue shiner on his left eye. He sat quietly next to Selphie and Quistis, who couldn't help but stare at his swollen face, "What happened to you?" Zell asked, sitting down next to Squall and Rinoa.

Irvine sighed, "I fell."

"You don't have to lie to us, Irvine. Selphie hits you doesn't she?" Zell teased, his eyebrows rising in a teasing expression. Irvine shot a quick look of pleading in Squall's direction.

"It's true, he and I went to the training facility last night and he fell over that large tree that's in the middle of the walk way. He hit his face against a huge rock. It looked like it hurt pretty badly, eh Irvine?"

The long haired man sniffled a little as he took a large bite out of his toast, "Yeah…hurt."

Rinoa prodded Squall in his side, her eyes eager, "So did you have fun last night?" She whispered.

He felt his mouth trying to tug into a smile, matching the whispering tone she had set, "I did. Did you?"

She nodded quickly, leaning her head against his shoulder.

Quistis felt her face turn red with jealousy as she cast a glare down at her food, stabbing at her sausage with a fierce growl. "Damn Quisty, you keep spearing your food like that and you'll stab straight through the plate," Zell murmured, his blue eyes wide as he watched her kill her already cooked meal.

Squall sighed, more than aware of what was causing his former instructor to act so aggressively, "I need to get up to the command center. You all have a good day. I'll see you later," he said, bending down to give Rinoa a kiss on the top of her head.

Her face instantly was set alight with admiration as she nodded, waving after him.

Selphie stared at Irvine's eye again, raising a hand and touching it slightly. She fell backwards when Irvine jumped to his feet, his eyes and face wild, "WHAT THE HELL SELPHIE DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKIN' BLACK EYE, THAT SHIT HURTS!"

Once again, the focus of the entire room was shifted their direction. As always.

************

Squall stared at the reports that Xu was shoving his direction, "We have received word from Esthar City about an uprising, claiming that the power of those past has been reawakened."

He sighed, "Another Ultemecia wanna be huh?"

Xu shrugged, "Perhaps, but the officials seemed rather anxious for us to check it out."

"Where do they expect us to go?"

"Centra Region."

"Well then, punch in the coordinates."

"Shall I alert the other SeeDs? Or perhaps summon for Master Laguna Loire to accompany you on this mission?" Xu offered, her finger headed towards the intercom button.

Squall immediately pictured Rinoa and her possession the last time they dealt with any sort of witchcraft and shook his head. And the mere mention of Laguna caused Squall to shake his head. Laguna although was not an older man, he was merely in his early forties, but he would not let the possibility of endangering his life come into play. He had only just realized that Laguna had been his long lost father…and they still had time to make up. He wasn't about to put that in danger, "I'll be going this one alone."

Xu raised an eyebrow, "Sir, I don't want to disobey your orders but isn't that a little dangerous? One SeeD is simply not enough, the report called for a team of SeeDs."

The SeeD leader smiled, his eyes twinkling with the thrill of danger yet again, "Just the way I like it…dangerous. Besides, I'm just going to scout things out. If I need backup I'll radio for it."

The woman sighed, her face slightly amused, "That's typical of you Squall, always taking the bullet, never shooting the gun. You are truly a man to be admired."

Squall shifted uneasily, the compliments falling hard against his unfamiliar skin, "Er well…never mind that. Estimated time of arrival?"

"Nearly three hours. Best take this time to rest. What are your orders for the other SeeDs?"

"They are to make their rounds about the Garden as usual, no one is permitted to leave Garden other than myself unless ordered by me to do so, understood?"

She nodded, saluting him, "Aye aye, sir."

Squall saluted her as well, heading back to his dorm to pack up any potions, to junction his magic and guardian forces that he may need, and to rest a little while longer.

* * *

**Ok so there was chapter 3. Short chapter but I wanted to update so you all had something to read for a bit before I got chapter 4 done. It'll be up in a day or so, I'm usually pretty good about updating so you guys won't have to wait nearly as long as before. Review, I love to hear how this story is going for ya. =)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	4. Secrets

**Disclaimer: I do not own FF8 or any of its characters or locations. They are all sole property of Square-Enix.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, and lemons. **

**Author's Note: Let me just say this, I am extremely thrilled with all of the reviews I receive from each and every one of you! It seriously helps to keep me motivated. I love to hear from familiar reviewers to the new faces as well, they are all appreciated and taken to heart as they should be. I hope I continue to appeal to your FF8 fan fic needs, as well as any other fan fictions in the future. Please continue to read, review, and of course please continue to enjoy! Thank you.**

* * *

Three hours passed entirely too quickly in Squall's opinion. Luckily he had not had any visits from his comrades the entire time he had been packing or trying to sleep. He didn't want to have to explain why he was preparing his gunblade, or junctioning his GFs, or magic, or packing his inventory full of potions and repairing medicines, it would have just been too much to cover up. And Squall definitely wasn't the best at lying to them, not now, not after everything they had been through, and especially not to _her_.

He glanced about his dorm for a moment more before he decided that he was as prepared as he was ever going to get, and headed for the door, poking his head out to glance up and down the corridors. Hundreds of people were littering the hallways, none of which appeared to be the familiar faces of his friends. Relief flooded him as he left his room, the door automatically sliding shut behind him.

Squall made sure to hug the walls as he walked through the hallway, using the mass of people as his cover. Upon reaching the main walkways of the Garden, Squall quickened his pace, realizing that he was more exposed here than he had been in the hallway.

With the exit in sight, he broke into a straight run. It wasn't typical for Squall to be running like this, but with the always present pressure to avoid his friends, he felt compelled to do so, no matter how abnormal it may be.

'_Almost…there…_' Squall repeatedly thought to himself as he drew closer to the Garden's exit.

"What do you think Squall will think of this one?"

He came to a screeching halt behind yet another overly large fern. '_Convenient_.' He thought, peering through the leaves to find Rinoa, Selphie, and Quistis walking out of the library.

"Well if the purple dress didn't work what makes you think that this red one will?" Quistis asked, adjusting the glasses on her nose, her tone rather snobbish.

He watched as Selphie and Rinoa cast each other knowing looks before continuing on in the conversation, "well maybe red will be more of a statement. With Squall you practically have to bash him over the head with something until he realizes what you're trying to do."

"It's true…I kept hinting around that I was thirsty and wanted a refill when Squall and I were eating lunch the other day, and he totally just kept talking about the agenda for the day until I lost my cool and threw my empty cup at him. The only bad part was that there was still a little bit of pop left inside of it and it completely stained his white wife beater," Selphie reminisced, her eyes speaking of her amused memories, "Needless to say he finally got up and got it but I had to physically make him realize that I wanted a refill, and I wanted it then dammit."

Quistis and Rinoa laughed. Squall frowned from behind the fern. '_I don't see why that's so funny._'

"Well that's what I mean, I want Squall to realize that I'm here for him…one hundred percent, in spirit, mind, _and_ body. I want him to look at me and just know that I'm right for him. Is that wrong?" Rinoa whispered, playing at the back of her neck as she walked with her two friends straight past the fern, Squall walking around the other side of it to stay out of their realm of sight.

Quistis nearly shrieked, "You're trying to…Rinoa?!"

He watched as Rinoa's hand went to grasp Quistis' shoulder, "Quisty, I just…I want him to know that I'm here for him. Even after everything that's happened he still seems kind of reserved around me. I can't let him be like that, you're supposed to be yourself around the person you lo-"

Quistis tensed. Rinoa sighed, "You know what I mean don't you?"

Selphie giggled, "Rinoa is trying to seal the deal."

The former sorceress smacked Selphie as they turned to enter the Quad, "I didn't mean that, Selphie. You just take everything the wrong way."

"Well then why is the physical aspect of being able to comfort Squall so important? Just admit it, you want a piece. I don't blame you, he's a little hunk. If I weren't into Irvine and you two weren't together I could see me trying to-"

Quistis and Rinoa had stopped to stare at Selphie. The brunette's face turned red as she turned back the direction that Squall lurked behind his new found favorite plant. She was beginning to sweat, her lip trembling, "Er well I mean…Quistis knows what I mean. She told me long before you came around how it was for her."

"SELPHIE THAT WAS PRIVATE!" Quistis howled, her hands balling into fists.

Selphie turned back around, "What, I never said anything about it, all I said was that you could relate."

Rinoa shifted a little uneasily. Perhaps the competition was starting to sink in, "You know that's all I ever hear girls snicker about. They don't think I'm listening but I always hear it. 'Squall's such a sexpot.' 'Squall needs to lose that witch so I can have a go at him.' 'You really think he's into that sort of girl?' 'Do you think he ever gets tired of hearing her talk?' 'You think she pleases him…because if she doesn't I could totally rock his sexy lone-wolf ass.' I'm sick of it! That's all I ever hear, can't I just have one day when every girl in the world isn't trying to get a piece of Squall. God I never knew he was so popular."

Selphie and Quistis huddled next to each other, their fingers fiddling into their clothes for a source of support, "Er, well, Rin, it's not like he's not a good looking guy. I'm sure Squall has to deal with it about you too. All I ever hear is how guys wanna do…'things' to you. It's not an all of a sudden thing that Squall looks like he does. He was always considered a hottie, it's just no one really ever tried to say anything because he always kept to himself but ever since you came around girls think they may have a fighting chance yet."

"So you want Squall?" Rinoa asked the two of them, crossing her arms.

Quistis turned red, Squall was quite sure anyways, her ears had turned red. Perhaps it was best that he couldn't see her face. Selphie simply laughed, "Well what I said was that if Irvine and I weren't an item, and if you and Squall weren't an item, I would have definitely tried. But that doesn't matter because I have Irvine and you have Squall and that will never change."

"And what about you, Quistis?" Rinoa asked, turning to former instructor Trepe.

"Er well…Squall knew of my feelings. He never confirmed or denied my need to be closer to him, so I just assumed that he wasn't interested. Don't worry Rinoa; I would never try to molest your boyfriend."

Rinoa stared at both of them before she laughed uneasily, "I'm so sorry you two, I got all wrapped up in the jealousy of girls wanting Squall that I completely put you two on the spot. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie all laughed for a moment before they continued on their walk to the Quad, the conversation quickly changing from Squall to their defense class.

The SeeD leader stood behind the fern, completely bewildered, his face had broken out into a cold sweat as he had listened to them. They had been fighting over him like he was some sort of rare object. '_I better hurry; I can't take much more of this.'_

He whipped around on his heels and hurried to the exit, not even sparring to walk through the gate; he simply hopped over it and continued his mad dash away from the Garden.

************

Centra Region was dry and dusty as usual, the landscape never ceased to remain a desolate wasteland.

"Leonhart to bridge, I have entered Centra Region. Please take the Garden just off the shore of Centra Region. I do not need spares making their way into the midst of my investigation. Do not return until I radio my orders."

There was a crackling through his com-device before Xu retorted her comprehension, the Garden spinning and roaring as it floated away to dock at the edge of the land.

Squall nodded in approval as he began to trudge through the dirt and dead plants, heading towards the whereabouts of the original coordinates that had been given to him via Esthar officials.

It seemed quiet enough, the usual fiends running about as usual. With every battle, Squall defeated them easily, stopping to pick a valuable item on occasion. As he continued his investigation, he couldn't help but think back on what he had overheard the girls griping about. The mere idea of every girl wanting to have a go at him made him uncomfortable. '_I wish there was something out here that could kill me_,' he thought to himself, his face red with embarrassment. Since when had he become the desire of everyone's affection? Last time he had checked, he had treated everyone so coldly that there was no way anyone could get a rise out of his behavior…unless they liked it like that.

His eyes widened as he took a drink of his canteen, his face growing redder by each passing second. He had never perceived himself to be a…how did Selphie put it…a 'sexpot'? He was just Squall, typical, overly dark, anti-social, combat ready, tactical planning Squall. Since when was that such a turn on…well he wasn't like that around Rinoa but apparently he wasn't exactly the friendliest around her now that he had heard her spill her secrets with her friends.

Squall snorted, shaking his head. '_Keep a clear head; you never know when you'll have to engage in battle. Think about this once you return to Garden, for now, keep your mind on the task at hand_.' He warned himself, his eyes pricking over his surroundings again for good measure before he began his assignment yet again.

************

Irvine stared at Zell from over his book, "I have a question."

"What?" Zell asked as he pummeled a speed bag, jumping around as if his feet were on fire.

"Well…it's kind of a 'for instance' question."

"What the hell Irvine, just fuckin' ask me, shit," Zell grumbled, his eyes still focused on his foe: the speed bag that remained impervious to his attacks.

"Well let's just say you have a friend and you try to ask him about his sex life and then he punches you in the face…what should you do to try and make amends?"

Zell blinked, lowering his hands and turned to look at Irvine. The sniper shifted uneasily under Zell's confused gaze, "What?"

"Why the hell did you ask Squall about his sex life?"

"What? Since when are you smart enough to break the code of a 'for instance' question?"

"Since you're the only one with a shiner on their face!"

Irvine rolled his eyes, "Never mind, if you're just going to make fun of my black eye then I'll ask someone else."

"Seriously Irvine, why did you ask about his sex life? Were you bein' your usual pervy self?"

The long haired man cleared his throat, "Well men are supposed to brag about sex to each other."

"No they're not."

"It's in the handbook."

"THERE'S NOT A FUCKIN HANDBOOK YOU DUMBASS!"

Irvine slammed his book shut, getting to his feet, "Like you have any room to call me a dumbass. Are you going to help me or not?"

"Well how the heck should I know what you should do to make it up to Squall, I've never asked him about his recent lays."

"You mean plural…he's been with more than one girl?"

Zell's eyes rounded in surprise. "See! You're obsessed with sex!"

"I'm not obsessed with sex it's just that…well er…I've never…actually…I mean I've had chances but I never had the nerve to…well Selphie and I haven't gotten to that point yet and I…I want advice….never mind, you don't understand. Single people never understand the sorrows of being in a relationship."

Zell snorted, "What you think I haven't had a girl before?"

"Well looking at you…apparently not."

"Well then you would be wrong."

Irvine's face dropped, his face seeming to whiten, "You've had sex....with a woman right?"

The kick-boxing extraordinaire punched Irvine in his arm, "Of course a woman. God."

"And it wasn't like a blow up doll, right?"

"It was a living, breathing woman. And she liked it too, so there!"

"Who?"

"I'm not gonna tell you that, that's private, PERV-ine."

Irvine glowered at Zell, "Don't call me that. Listen; seriously, could you give me some pointers?"

"What happened to Mr. Ladies Man?"

"Well…he's a lot of talk. I mean I've dated and snogged a lot of girls…and I've even gotten to fool around slightly but as far as the actual deed…I've never. I'm always afraid that I won't do it right, and with Selphie I want to do everything perfectly."

"Why don't you just initiate things, I'm sure Selphie will be able to show you the rest of the way. Just play along."

Irvine nodded as Zell wiped his face with a towel and exited the gym. Suddenly a thought dawned on him, "HEY, HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE'LL BE ABLE TO SHOW ME THE REST OF THE WAY?"

* * *

**Alright, so there was chapter 4. I loved it, lots of uncomfortable situations and playful banter, and poor Squall, all alone to ponder the hormones of women. That's enough to drive any man insane. Lol. Hope you all liked it, review and lemme know. Chapter 5 up soon! **

**Much love,**

**  
~Nikki~**


	5. Black Glass

**Disclaimer: FF8 is not mine. Sadly.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, and sexual content.**

Squall peered through the dusty atmosphere, his eyes falling upon a structure that he was rather sure had not been there on his last visit to Centra Region. It jet straight from the hard ground to loom over the land with a metal frame, the towers of the structure looked almost unstable and sharp. The sun reflected against the black glass with a nasty vengeance, nearly blinding Squall as he approached.

What was more striking was that it appeared as if the structure lacked any form of entry into the building. There were no doors, no windows; the entire building was one large piece of glass.

Squall frowned, sheathing his gunblade for the time being as he slowly approached the building, "Strange," he murmured, stopping just in front of it.

"Leonhart to the bridge."

"Go ahead."

"I've come upon a castle-like structure. I'm going to investigate. Over."

"Understood Leonhart. Proceed with caution."

He nodded as the transmission ended between the Garden and himself. Observant blue eyes pricked over the unfamiliar building for a moment longer before he walked up and stared at the reflection of himself in the black glass. '_How do I get in?_'

************

"Sir, how are you feeling?"

A groan of disorientation.

Jeremiah Johnson took a hesitant step towards his mentor and commander, "S-sir?"

The commander slowly pushed himself from the ground, his body smoldering from a zap of energy, "What happened, Johnson?"

"You…when you opened the device something shot out and then you went flying half way across the room. You looked like you got shocked. I told you that you were going to get hurt."

"Shut up."

"Yes sir."

His commander straightened his back, cracking it ever so slightly as he stretched, "I'm going to feel that in the morning."

"Permission to speak sir?"

"What is it, Jeremiah?" His commander grumbled, throwing unenthused eyes at his subordinate.

"Well I was just curious…how do you feel…I mean do you still feel like yourself?"

The mentor felt around his body, wincing slightly at his touch and then frowned, "I'm not sure. I feel rather…fuzzy."

Typically Jeremiah would have used the way Alec had ended the sentence with a chance to crack a joke about how he was experiencing a fuzzy feeling because he was around him, but with the look Alec wore, and how pale his face was, he refused. There was something that wasn't right with his commander, he didn't know what it was, but if it was what he feared, then he wasn't sure if Alec would ever be right again.

"Sir…" He shook his head, "Alec," Jeremiah whispered imploringly, "I want you to rest. You shouldn't have even tampered with that device. Who cares if there's unlimited magic inside! You know who that belonged to, there's a chance that there's a side effect along with discovering the ways of that form of magic."

"First of all Jeremiah, while we are on duty, its commander, not Alec. Secondly, you worry too much. I was under strict orders from home base to study the contents of this device," he said, shaking the smoking red box-like object in his hand at Jeremiah, "And to report back to headquarters with my findings. Don't you realize that if I can figure out what's inside and how it works, I'll be able to simply deal away with headquarters, and you and I can run the entire operation?"

"But Alec-"

Alec cleared his throat.

"But Sir, before you opened the device I told you that you could become possessed and you said that you did not care. I told you that you could end up killing everyone, and you said that you did not care. What kind of logic is that? If you plan on acting out what you just told me, what will that accomplish? You will have control of the biggest military operation aside from SeeD. You will have the entire world bowing down to you, and that's not what we're about. We're about trying to find any options to make advances in combat and the way everyone lives."

"Johnson, you're getting a little preachy. How about you just turn down the dooms day meter to about a two instead of a nine?"

Jeremiah frowned, his brown eyes shimmering with his unrest, "Listen, I'm being completely serious with you, Alec. What if things go bad…what if you were possessed. Having one of the world's largest military operations at your disposal is ideal for world domination. You can't let that happen. I'm going to radio to headquarters and tell them that the experiment was a failure."

As Jeremiah Johnson headed for the door, Alec snatched at his arm, pulling him back to him with an ungodly strength. The subordinate's face whitened upon seeing the glowing nature of Alec's eyes, "Listen to me and listen to me good, you little insect, this experiment will go on as scheduled. We will not radio any information into headquarters. As of right now, it's just you and me. Once I figure out a way to remove the heads of counsel then I will have complete control of our military. You will do nothing to interfere or I will dispose of you personally, do I make myself clear?"

Johnson swallowed and nodded, his legs beginning to tremble underneath his weight.

"Good," His mentor hissed, a nasty curl of his lips forming over his teeth as he released his subordinate and turned back to the device, "Now leave me be. I will summon for you if I need anything. Return to your normal duties, and tell the others to keep making rounds."

"Yes sir," Jeremiah whispered, dodging out of the lab quickly, his heart heavy with regret for ever letting Alec open the device in the first place. '_I knew something would happen. I knew it, I knew it._'

************

Squall studied the black glass for a moment longer. '_I don't want to bring unwanted attention but I don't know how else to get in!_'

A small area of the glass began to glow slightly and then disappeared just as quickly as it had began. Hesitatingly, the SeeD leader raised a hand and touched it, holding his breath. Nothing happened.

"Well what the hell am I supposed to do?" He growled, looking at his gloved hand. And then it clicked. He removed his glove and touched the panel again. Suddenly, there was a slight protest from a pressurized system inside, and then a sliding door opened up to allow him access. He smirked, walking in slowly, his eyes ever alert as the door slid shut behind him quietly, sealing him inside the ominous structure.

The inside was just as black and unusual as the outside, everything shiny but then dull, bright but then dark. He swallowed, reapplying his glove, hunkering down slightly as he slunk down a hallway, keeping his eyes ever alert for any signs of any guards or workers. His memory reminded him of when he had been a prisoner, being tortured by Seifer for answers that he simply refused to give or didn't know for that matter. And for a moment he regretted not having any of his comrades with him, but upon seeing intricacies of the layout, he realized that half of his SeeD unit was far too clumsy to accompany him on a mission like this. Especially Selphie.

"Do you think we'll be able to break for dinner anytime soon? I'm starving."

"Oh shut up, Brane. It's not like you don't eat enough for three men when it's breakfast time. Just try to ignore your stomach for once and keep doing your job."

"Oh come on Wilson, it's not like any one is going to come in here. No one ever visits Centra Region. And the SeeDs are too busy with SeeD matters that no one will ever discover this place. Besides, who would expect a large military base in the middle of nowhere, and so shortly after the defeat of Ultemecia? It's perfect. Besides, I've already been down this hall nine fuckin' times; I'm gettin' tired of seein' all of this black."

"The whole base is black, Brane."

"Exactly my point, how about a little color to liven the place up? No wonder Hendrickson is always asleep down on level b."

There was a sigh, "I know what you mean but until we can be transferred back to headquarters, we'll simply have to deal with things."

Squall glanced around. It was utterly barren, nothing to hide behind or any other hallway to sneak into. He was completely exposed. '_Think, think!_' Quickly, he whipped around on his heels and went back the way he came, noticing an opening that led down another hallway. It was empty and thus usable. '_Perfect_.'

The ramblings of the two guards grew closer as they walked straight past the open hallway, continuing their round, all the while dreaming about pizza and pancakes. How the two courses went hand in hand Squall was still unsure but he ignored their dreams of food and walked back out into the hallway, heading back his original course of direction.

************

"So what, you're saying that she knows how to go about sex…well let me know something, Zell, how would you know that she knows?"

Zell's temper was beginning to get the better of him. He should have simply kept his mouth shut, "Listen to me, and listen to me good, Irvine. I was simply making a statement. It doesn't haveta mean anything!"

"Hey guys, what's up?"

Both friends turned to find the girls approaching them. "Oh thank god, someone please take Irvine somewhere and shoot him out of his misery, he's about to earn a good beat down from me if someone doesn't do something with him soon."

Selphie raised an eyebrow as she snuggled up underneath Irvine's arm, "What does he mean, Irvy?"

Irvine looked away, "We were just talking."

"No, no, no, if you don't have any problem pestering me about it, then you won't have any problem botherin' them either!" Zell hissed, his blue eyes seeming to radiate hostility.

Everyone turned to Irvine expectantly. He laughed nervously, "Well Zell and I were talking and one idea formed into another, and by the end of the conversation we were talking about you, Selphie."

Selphie nodded, "And?"

"And well um…it's kind of funny really, but we were talking about sex and Zell said something-" And then it dawned on him. A devilish grin passed over his face as he glared at Zell, "and he kept bragging about how talented you were in the sack."

Selphie's eyes flew over to find a completely bewildered Zell, his face blank, mouth agape, eyes unblinking. His mouth moved as if to form words but nothing came out.

"ZELL YOU ASSHOLE YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER SAY ANYTHING!"

"I DIDN'T SAY A FUCKIN' THING! _PERV_-INE HERE WAS TRYING TO CON YOU INTO ADMITTING THAT YOU HAD SEX WITH ME AND YOU FELL FOR IT YOU DUMBASS!"

Selphie was long released from Irvine's grasp, leaping across the room to lunge straight for Zell's throat. She grabbed a hold of her flail and cracked it with a fury, "I'm going to beat the shit out of you, do you hear me? I can't believe you even talked to him about me."

"I didn't, he was asking about sex and it just came out."

"Why was he asking you about intercourse?" Quistis asked, raising an eyebrow.

And then it dawned on Zell that he would have a chance to throw Irvine under the bus as well, "Because he hasn't ever had sex and he was wondering how to go about it!"

Irvine's mouth fell open as he stood there, his face turning twelve shades of red, "Zell what the hell man?"

"Payback, asshole!" Zell grunted under Selphie's little fingers attempting to strangle him.

Rinoa shifted, "Wait a minute, that's all you ever talk about Irvine, you haven't really ever done anything before?"

The sniper cleared his throat, "I um…look I got a reputation to keep up, alright?"

"You shouldn't be embarrassed, a lot of people never have. I never have," Quistis informed him, placing her hands on her hips in pride.

"Well I understand that!" Irvine grumbled.

Trepe shot him a dirty look, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I haven't either Irvine," Rinoa whispered, her dark eyes shimmering with exposure.

Irvine smiled at the two of them, "But you're girls, men are supposed to get around like crazy."

"So what, you think every guy has? Squall hasn't!" Rinoa spat, raising her chin indignantly.

"Whatever," Zell panted, pushing Selphie off of him, kicking her in her shin. She wailed in pain before cracking him in the side with her flail. Zell felt tears rush to the brim of his eyes as he held a hand to his ribcage, "That didn't hurt you know!" He teased, biting on his tongue to prevent any sobs of pain.

"Obviously not," Selphie murmured, cracking his hand with her flail this time. Zell let out a roar of pain, shaking his hand around to relieve the pain, "There, that's better." Selphie said, her face forming into a haughty expression.

"What do you mean 'whatever'? Squall hasn't done anything with anyone before…has he?" Rinoa spluttered, her eyes wide with fear.

"What does it matter, he's with you now," Irvine grumbled, his eyes still glowering in Zell's direction, and Zell returning the favor.

"No, no, it matters. Who was it?!" Rinoa gasped, running over to Zell, her eyes expectant.

************

Squall continued to navigate through the black structure with ease, the halls remaining clear for the most part. He continued to pass many openings that led to different areas of the base but there were no clues of any kind in any of them. He continued to work his way up several levels until he heard another voice.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I need to report this but I can't do that to Alec…and if I do report it…he's going to-"

Squall felt a brush of cold air pass behind him as a door opened up. He attempted to whip around in time to see what had caused the sudden atmospheric change, but instead he was greeted with a bludgeon to his head, his vision blurring as he fell face first to the ground. All he could remember was the feeling of being lifted off the ground by someone, and then all went dark.

************

"That's it; I'm going to go ask him myself if you guys can't even be good friends and tell me straight up!" Rinoa grumbled, turning around on her heels towards the main hallway.

"By the way…where is Squall? I haven't seen him since this morning, he usually at least has come to check in by now," Zell muttered, his temper beginning to die down.

And everyone froze. Rinoa's eyes widened as a burning sensation inside her chest consumed her, "Come on, we need to go see if he's on the bridge." And as they ran towards the elevator, everyone's minds set on Squall, Rinoa knew in her heart that he wasn't there. That he hadn't been there for a while. That something had happened. '_Squall…'_

* * *

**Alright so there's chapter 5. Getting some doom in along with some humor. I love it. Review and lemme know how it went for ya. Chapter 6 up in a day or so.**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**

* * *


	6. Hopeless

****

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of its characters.

**Rating: M for language, violence, and sexual content.**

**Author's note: So I hope the last chapter went well for everyone. Here's chapter 6. Review and lemme know how this one made ya feel. =)**

**P.S. sorry for the lateness...this website has been having difficulties for the longest time. SO, now that their little episode is over, let's get this started again. Enjoy!**

* * *

"You do not have permission to be on the bridge, state your business," Xu grumbled, knowing all too well why they were all up here. Squall's SeeD unit was anything but slow. She glanced up at Irvine and Zell and frowned. Most of them weren't slow perhaps was a better way of putting it.

"What? Xu, c'mon, you know us, we're allowed to be up here right?" Zell smiled, his face taking on a rather appealing glow. Quistis shifted ever so slightly as she took notice of his face.

Xu shook her head fervently, "As much as I enjoy your antics and company, I am under the strictest of orders to keep the bridge clear of all unauthorized personnel, which right now is all of you."

"I bet we're the only unauthorized personnel," Rinoa spat, her dark eyes turning cold. "Where did he go? Why weren't we allowed to go with him?"

The pilot again shook her head, "I am not allowed to discuss classified information with those that are not authorized to hear it. I'm sorry, but Squall asked me to keep this a secret. You all were not allowed to go with him. But don't worry, it's nothing major. He just wanted to check something out and be right back."

"Well I don't care, I'm getting off!" Rinoa forcefully informed Xu but was stopped when Xu yet again shook her head, "I'm afraid that's impossible. The Garden is hovering just off the coast of this land mass. He is not anywhere close to our current coordinates, another order I was given. He knew you would try to disobey orders so he went to extra precaution to leave you put."

Rinoa let out a howl, "Are you serious? Squall Leonhart when you get back you are going to get it-"

Irvine poked Zell and leaned over so that he could whisper in the blond's ear, "Get _what_ exactly?"

Zell tried to hide his chortling laughter as he turned to busy himself with a picture that he was thoroughly convinced was hanging a little more to the left than the right.

No such luck. Rinoa whipped around and pointed a shaking index finger at Irvine, her eyes wild and serious, "I don't know what you just said but I'll make sure to tell Squall that you were patronizing me while I was in an emotional distress."

The sniper's face fell, turning a slight shade of green, "Hey, hey, we don't have to get all drastic here. It was just a little joke, Rinoa. Sheesh."

"You'll think 'sheesh'! Squall is out there all by himself…what if something bad happens? I can't just stand here and wait to see if he comes back unharmed."

Xu glanced at Selphie who was backing away from Irvine ever so slowly. A look on her face.

"Listen, Rinoa we can't go after him. Even if we could leave the Garden, how do we know what continent we're hovering next to? And where would we even begin to look? We could get killed, and Squall definitely would make everyone and their mother pay if that was the case. The smart thing is to wait here for him to return," said Trepe, placing a hand firmly on the black haired beauty's shoulder.

"I don't think I can stand it! It's just not that easy!"

"I never said it would be the easy thing, I said it was the smart thing. Just relax."

Rinoa shook with a wide spectrum of emotions as she fought with the urge to slap everyone in the room, "Listen, I'm tired of everyone always telling me what to do and when to do it! I'm going after Squall, and if you're all too-"

"Sorry Rinoa but this is for your own good," Selphie cut in, throwing a powder directly into the ex-sorceress' face.

Rinoa coughed and sputtered for a moment before her eyelids began to sag, "What did you do…to…me-"

Zell rushed up and caught Rinoa into his arms as she passed out, sleeping soundly.

"Sleeping powder, nice work," Irvine commented, smiling widely at Selphie. She returned the favor, "I figured it would be better than using magic. She seems pretty tolerant of that, so instead, voila, a sleeping powder. YAY FOR SELPHIE!" She commended to herself, placing her hands on her hips as if she were some sort of superhero.

"Take it easy it was just a sleeping powder," Zell mused, his face screaming of boredom.

The spunky girl stuck her tongue out at him, her face warning him of the attack he was in for later. Irvine frowned, feeling rather jealous over their constant need to bicker and fight with one another. '_Pent up frustration? No, not my Selphie.'_

"Well let's get her back to her room and try to preoccupy ourselves until Squall gets his sneaky ass back," Irvine grumbled, leaving before any one else.

"Thank you," Xu told Quistis, smiling weakly, "I just do as I'm ordered."

Quistis grinned, "It's alright. We all know how Squall is. Trust us, we've been there, done that."

Xu saluted them all as they left, turning back to the grid panel again, her heart falling. The red dot that indicated Squall had left its monitors a while back. '_Squall…where are you?_'

************

"I should have known that SeeD wouldn't keep their filthy noses out of our business. Wake him, I need to question him."

Squall felt someone nudge his arms. He shifted, feeling a warm sensation falling down his forehead. '_Blood. They must have knocked me out_.'

"I think he's already come to, sir."

"Excellent, you there. Open your eyes."

Squall shifted again, his eyes protesting the movement but after a moment of struggling, he forced them to open, finding himself on the floor of what appeared to be a control center. Two men kept him company in the room, although he was quite sure that there were others just outside the door. This place, from what he gathered, was heavily guarded.

"Ah, he listens well. State your name."

"But you already know who it is, Alec."

"I just want to be sure…state your name."

"I don't see where that's your business," Squall hissed, pushing himself to his feet slowly. He felt his hip to find that his gunblade was still sheathed. He frowned, rather surprised that they left him armed. He let his eyes make their way over to the two men. They looked staggeringly similar in appearance, but one apparently was the commander of the two.

"It's him," the subordinate muttered, crossing his arms.

The other smiled, "Ah, well if it isn't Squall Leonhart. The commander and pride of the Balamb Garden. The face of SeeD. I am truly honored to have you here. Such a young man to have all those responsibilities, but after all the gusto and courage you displayed during the trials of the sorceress's, you deserve nothing less than what you have had bestowed upon you. To what do I owe this great pleasure?"

Squall wiped the blood from his eyes, an odd feeling centering in the middle of his chest. Something wasn't quite right. If they were indeed so flattered for him to be here, why would they physically attack him? '_You didn't exactly make your presence known…but still._'

"I am on official SeeD business. Are you in command of this base?"

The commander of the two men nodded, extending a hand towards Squall in a mannerly motion, "Indeed. My name is Alec Johnson, Major and sole commander of this base extension of the home headquarters of the Magic Military. It is a pleasure."

Squall stared at his hand, returning the gesture after studying the palm for a moment, "Squall Leonhart."

They gave their hands a slight shake before releasing their grips, "And why are the SeeDs under the impression that this base is their business?"

"We have been asked and hired by Esthar City to investigate and secure the area of Centra Region. There were reports that illegal activity has been occurring to the point that they are afraid of an uprising of some sort. And with this being the only structure on the entire continent, I can only assume that the reason for their unrest is indeed this building."

"And coming here to talk with us will make things better?" Alec asked, his face unreadable.

Squall's blue eyes glinted with years of experience with this type of confrontation, "So you do not deny illegal activities of which you are accused?"

"Are all bases of the Magic Military under the same scrutiny, or just this one?"

"Just this one from what I gather."

"Then I suggest you investigate the other bases before you solely accuse us of illegal activities."

Squall caught sight of the subordinate casting an uneasy expression at his commander. The SeeD commander smirked, "I think I hit the nail on the head when I came to this base. You are advised to cease any and all illegal activities or else face punishment from the government of Esthar."

Alec simply cackled a round of uneven laughter. "Is that supposed to frighten me, boy?" He snarled, his eyes instantly taking a dangerous look.

Squall froze for a moment; his fighter's instinct telling him that unsheathing his gunblade right now wouldn't be such a bad idea. He paused, "You do not deny said illegal accusations. I will have to turn you over to Esthar City and its officials, do you understand?"

Alec glanced over at Jeremiah, "Ah and you're under the assumption that I'm going to come quietly? Do you even know what I've been doing here?"

Squall shook his head, "And I don't care. If I stop it now, I won't have to worry about what you've been doing."

The commander of the base shook his head, "You would be best not to raise a single finger against me, SeeD commander. I'm far more dangerous _now_."

The lone wolf hesitated, the word _now_ drawing his attention, "Now?"

Alec's eyes glazed over and turned black, the room turning cold in a mere matter of a split second. Jeremiah gasped in horror, shrinking back against the wall, shaking his head back and forth in a useless attempt to shake the scene before him from existence.

"I know all of your tricks now, boy. You had me the last time, this time I'm the one with something to fight for."

Squall scanned his memory banks for any possible way for this to be happening. There weren't any, "How-"

"Do you think that I would simply leave my well being at stake, for a group of snotty little kids to take from me with their shiny swords and childish spells? No, I let my spirit retreat after our battle."

"But why him?" Squall whispered.

"Ah, there's the rub," Alec continued on, his voice entirely not his own, "I did not expect for him to find the device, I had it hidden away in the depths of Shruti Village's outskirts, but this buffoon stumbled across it. It had to have been an act of fate, but no matter. His position in command came of some use. Once I overthrow the headquarters, the only thing that will separate me from world domination is SeeD, and if I dispose of their leader, then SeeD will fall. The world will once again know the power of a sorceress, but this time they will quiver under the rule of Ultemecia, sorceress of all times."

Squall shook his head, his heart slowing to almost a stop, "This isn't possible, we destroyed you. You were…there's no possible way."

"There are always ways for a sorceress to return to power. If she is smart about it. And I so happened to think ahead of everything and bewitched that device, unleashing my soul and abilities into the host that found a way to open it."

"But for now, I do not wish to busy myself with SeeD. I must first confront the Magic Military. The fools, always tempering with things they should best leave alone. I suppose they'll learn their lessons soon enough-"

Jeremiah stared at his commander with fearful eyes, listening to him speak. The only thing that remained Alec's was his physical body.

"But if the host is destroyed…you will cease to exist, once and for all," Squall deducted, whipping out his gunblade.

Alec chuckled darkly, "If and only if the host is destroyed. Try if you will, young man. He has all of my abilities. If you could barely defeat me with all of your friends, what makes you think that engaging me in combat on your own will result the way you plan?"

Squall swallowed. He didn't care how it resulted; he couldn't stand to picture Rinoa in the pain of having to deal with Ultemecia again. "I can't let you hurt her."

Alec's face turned into a full on sneer, "Ah…the girl in blue, Sorceress Rinoa. Stolen your heart, has she? No matter…I'll make sure that she gets hers too."

************

Quistis sighed, sitting down at the table inside the library, Zell taking seat next to her.

"Do you think he's going to be alright?" She asked him, readjusting her pony tail.

Zell nodded slightly, "Sure…he's Squall right? He has to be alright…doesn't he?"

She shrugged, turning to look at Zell, "I wanted to tell you…thanks for…you know…always being there for me, you're a great friend."

The blond man grinned brightly, the lightning bolt-like markings on his face even seeming to smile at her, "No big thing. Anything for a friend right? Besides, I know how it feels to be alone."

Quistis cleared her throat, "So…you and Selphie?"

"Only a couple times, both of which were kind of on accident if that makes sense. Not in the idea that she tripped and fell and my dick fell inside her but it was more like we were….fighting and we were alone and then all of a sudden we just started kissing and our clothes were suddenly strewn across the floor…you can imagine from there."

"But you two still fight…do you typically end up in a tongue war instead of actually attacking one another?"

He shook his head, "No, she's with Irvine and honestly, she's definitely not my type. I'm not proud of it but you can't change the past, you just have to accept it and move on."

Quistis giggled. Zell raised an eyebrow, "What's so funny?"

"That was really deep, Zell."

His face turned red, "Well you know…I can have my moments."

Her laughter slowly subsided as she looked up at him through long lashes, her blue eyes mirroring his, "Well I like when you have your moments. It's nice."

He shrugged, flicking at the table in nervousness, "Well just don't tell anyone about them, alright? I need to keep my reputation up."

She nodded, "Your secret is safe with me."

* * *

**Alright, so there was chapter 6. Ok, so Zell and Quistis…I totally loved writing that. I wanted to keep going but I haveta keep you wanting more don't I? =) Chapter 7 in about a day or so. Lemme know! **

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	7. Escape

**Disclaimer: I do not own FF8.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, and sexual content.**

* * *

The room swirled and raged like a typhoon, papers, chairs, and devices flying through the air like leaves.

Squall gripped the handle of his gunblade as hard as he could, gritting his teeth as he attempted to keep his feet planted on the ground. 'Alec' walked towards him, seeming unaffected by the quick change in the atmosphere. In all reality it seemed as if the sudden storm was centering off of Ultemecia's host.

"Alec, what are you doing?" Jeremiah Johnson yelled, freeing himself from the wall, hunkering down as he approached his officer. Alec continued to walk towards Squall, eyes dead set on the SeeD leader.

"Alec!" He tried again, grabbing a hold of his shoulder, shaking him slightly. The approaching host stopped to turn and look at the subordinate, the room continuing to surge with unrest.

"Stop this. We must let him go or else the entire SeeD will be on our ass. I told you not to tinker with that stupid device, look what it's done to you. Please…brother?"

Squall squinted his eyes to get a better visual on the two conversing with one another. Alec seemed unaffected by his subordinate's plea…and his brother's wish. Squall had thought that they had looked painstakingly similar.

"You dare step in Ultemecia's way?"

"Look out!" Squall exclaimed, Alec's fingertips beginning to spark with a spell. Squall ran forward and grabbed Jeremiah, dragging him off with his arm, both of them falling to the floor as a bolt of thundaga narrowly missed them.

"We need to get out of here. How?" Squall gasped, a chair catching the side of his head.

Jeremiah's face was practically see through, paper thin as he tried to think under all of the unfolding events.

"HOW?" The SeeD leader growled, his blue eyes burning into Jeremiah's.

"The…the evacuation exit…it remains unguarded for most of the time."

"What floor?"

Jeremiah swallowed, his brother's body continuing to stalk towards them, eyes always locked on their cowering forms.

"The third floor."

"So we need to get down three floors?"

Jeremiah nodded, "But what about Alec?"

Squall grabbed Jeremiah again, dragging him along with him as they darted out the door, making a mad dash for the stairs that led down to the next level, "It's too late…Ultemecia has taken over him. She's just using his body for a host. He's gone."

The subordinate eyes clouded over as the door they had ran through blew off its hinges, crashing against the wall, Alec rounding around the corner, the storm following him.

"I can't leave him!"

"You'll have to if you want to make it out of here alive!" Squall hissed, jumping down nearly the entire flight of stairs, rolling to his feet once he reached the bottom. Jeremiah let out a cry of fear as he followed the procedure, his tactics not nearly as clean as Squall's. He landed with a thud, directly onto his side.

'_Of course…_' The leader held out his hand to help up Jeremiah. The subordinate studied the hand for a moment before he took it, letting out a hiss of pain as he got to his feet.

"We'll have that looked at when we get back to the Garden."

"You think you can run from me SeeD? I am Ultemecia! Where ever you run I will find you. Whom ever you love, I will take from you. And what ever you do, I will know. You cannot escape me!"

The two of them froze for a moment; the strange voice that belonged to the host was growing closer.

"Come on!" Squall grumbled, throwing Jeremiah's arm around his shoulder, the two running as quickly as possible to the next floor, and the next, all the while Alec following them.

"She won't follow us right away…she wants to over throw the Magic Military, and then she's going to destroy SeeD and then…then she'll come for you. She wants to control the world but you…she wants to save the best for last," Jeremiah breathed, sweat pouring from his ghost-white face.

Squall swallowed, his heart falling ever so slightly. Of course things wouldn't work out the right way. They never did. Peace couldn't last long enough, it never did. If it wasn't Ultemecia coming back, it would have been something else. The world would never be right for him and Rinoa. And he knew as long as she was around him that she would never have a chance to have the world that she dreamed of. Perhaps it was best for her to-

"There it is!" Jeremiah exclaimed, nodding towards the end of the hall. Glowing letters described the evacuation exit.

"Hurry!" Squall muttered, the two rushing towards the door.

"Ah, a narrow hall and two targets. This should be interesting. Flare!"

The two heard Alec's strange voice cast the spell as they grasped the handle that led to their escape, flicking it and shoving at it, a hot fire tunneling down the hallway, barreling straight for them.

************

Irvine watched Selphie as she covered up Rinoa, letting out a sigh of relief as she plopped down next to him on the couch inside Rinoa's dorm room.

"I'm glad I thought of that or else we'd be in a huge mess right now, I'm quite sure. She has those tendencies," She mused, laughing slightly.

"Heheh, yeah, she's a little fire pistol that's for sure," he mumbled, his eyes fixated on Selphie's face.

"What?" She asked, touching her cheek slightly, red tinting her face.

"So…I just can't seem to get over the idea of you and Zell-"

"That was the past…and it didn't mean anything alright? Just drop it. Everyone has a past. Just because yours isn't as detailed doesn't mean that I'm a worse person than you are. It just means that I have a longer list, that's all. It doesn't matter who all a person has been with, it matters who they're with now."

Irvine frowned, "Yeah but I just can't imagine you with anyone else."

"Ok, so what about when I didn't know you and you didn't know me, would you have even cared who I was with?"

Again he frowned, throwing his eyes to the ground, "I suppose not."

"Exactly, I'm sure you were pining after someone else entirely then. And that doesn't bother me."

The sniper sighed, "So I guess I was acting a little stupid then huh?"

Selphie grinned, "Just a little but that's one of the things that I like about you. You're just as unpredictable as I am."

Irvine nodded, smiling a little when he decided to change the subject, "Where do you think Squall is? Do you think he's alright?"

Selphie shrugged, "I haven't the slightest clue, but he's Squall, he has to be alright, right? I mean he's indestructible…he always surprises us with what he can do. Nothing's going to happen to him…it can't. He can't leave her alone," she muttered, turning her attention back to the sleeping Rinoa.

They both continued to watch her sleep for a while before leaving her alone, their hearts rather heavy for having come to the conclusion that Squall was alright.

************

Xu stared at the grid for a while longer before she sank down in a chair and let out a sigh. His dot had been gone for nearly three hours now and he hadn't radioed in nearly four hours. Perhaps something had happened? She was under strict instructions to leave the others blissfully unaware but how long could she pretend that everything was alright? Surely they could catch on before much longer…well most of them anyway. Selphie and Zell usually remained pretty clueless most of the time.

"Squall…please contact me. I need to know you're alright. The Garden can't lose you."

************

Zell shifted uneasily, the tension in the library seeming to have grown thicker after the personal conversation he had just had with Quistis. She seemed to notice as well because she had grabbed a book and began to read. He was quite sure that she wasn't interested in its subject matter either. A book on "How to Make a Marlboro into a Pet" didn't seem like the ideal book for her. Her face was red to boot.

He cleared his throat, pushing himself away from the table, and walking towards the exit, "Um, I'll catch ya later Quistis. I'm gonna go check in with Xu and see if she's heard from Squall."

Quistis nodded, "You're more worried about him than you let on, huh?"

Zell grinned stupidly, "That see through am I? Yeah, I mean I know that we argue sometimes but he's my best friend, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him. He's almost like my moody big brother…extremely moody big brother."

Quistis giggled, "Is moody even the word for it?"

"Probably not but that's the best I got. Later," he said as he waved a peace sign at her, jogging out of the library, the librarian yelling her command of 'no running in the library' at his fleeting form.

Former instructor Trepe touched her chest, the slight flutter of her heart sending her emotions into a tizzy, a goofy grin all her own taking hold of her face.

************

It was getting hard to breathe. Squall jerked his eyes open, pushing himself up with his palms, glancing around to find that he had been smothering against Jeremiah's back. They had made it?

He continued to push himself to his feet, his vision doubling for a second, his left arm burning horribly. He glanced over to find that his jacket and glove was completely melted over his arm and hand, random holes over his clothes, revealing burnt skin. He contorted his face in disgust, realizing that the smell was his flesh.

Squall studied Jeremiah and realized that he was suffering faint burns as well. Apparently they had received the tail end of the flare spell from Ultemecia, luckily. Those were nasty if you were hit directly with one.

"Are you alright?"

He heard Jeremiah moan into the ground before shifting, "No."

"C'mon, we need to keep going," Squall muttered, glancing up at the black fortress. He helped Jeremiah to his feet, grimacing at the blood that covered his face. Apparently he had landed a bit harder than Squall had.

"Is he still chasing us?"

Squall shrugged, "I'm not sure but we still need to make a run for it."

He thought briefly about radioing for the Garden to come and get him but thought better of it, realizing that the Garden would be a sitting duck if he were to summon it. Regardless of Ultemecia's other plans, if she could do away with the Garden and his comrades in one fell swoop she would. He draped Jeremiah's arm around his shoulders again, realizing that they would have to hide for a while until they could formulate a plan.

************

Nearly two hours later Xu was beginning to grow anxious, pacing the control room with Zell, contemplating sending a search party for their comrade when the radio made a whooshing noise for a moment. The two of them darted straight for the control panel, glancing down to find that his dot had returned to the grid. The two stared at one another and hugged each other briefly before clearing their throats.

Again the radio made the whooshing noise and then, "Leonhart to bridge, come in bridge."

Xu squealed in delight, holding the com device to her lips, pressing the button at the side, "This is the bridge, go ahead Leonhart. And let me say it is truly wonderful to hear your voice."

There was a pause. Zell laughed, "You embarrassed him. Gimme that thing."

Zell ripped the com from Xu's hand, pressing the button to allow the conversation to continue, "This is Zell, what the hell is your problem? You couldn't take at least one of us with you? You had us worried sick."

Another pause, "You sound like an angry housewife, Zell."

Zell glared at the grid screen, "I'm kinda hoping your dot disappears now."

"I have another with me."

The blond blinked, "What do you mean…another?"

"He's hurt pretty badly. He'll need to go to the infirmary immediately."

"Shall we come and retrieve you?" Zell asked, leaning onto the control desk.

"Negative, I'm nearly there now. Just lower the shields and let me board."

"Understood, sir."

"Leonhart out."

"Bridge out."

Zell turned back to Xu, grinning at her, poking a thumb in his chest, "See? He responds to authority."

Xu rolled her eyes, "No, he would have said the same thing to me. You just annoyed him into conversation quicker than I would have."

Zell shrugged, "It works right? I'll go get the others. We'll be there to get him."

Xu nodded, "Thank you Zell."

************

Everyone ran to the main gate, waiting impatiently for Squall, Rinoa the worst out of anyone. Selphie had cured the sleep spell with a dispel, the former sorceress giving her friend's hand a pinch once she had realized what had happened.

"Where is he? Shouldn't he be on board by now?"

"He said he has someone with him," Zell muttered.

Rinoa was jumping up and down in place, "Well still…should we go and try to find him?"

"Would you calm down, he's gonna be here any second, just slow your role," Irvine grumbled, his eyes red with being awaken from a nap.

Rinoa shot him a warning glance, "Shut it."

"There he is!" Selphie exclaimed, pointing towards the gate, standing on only one leg in her excitement.

He stopped as soon as he caught sight of everyone, his fatigue finally kicking in. He panted for air as he and Jeremiah remained motionless, their legs shaking under their weight.

"Why isn't he moving?" Irvine asked. And then Squall and his spare fell to the ground. Rinoa let out a cry of horror as they all ran to him, the worst set in their hearts.

* * *

**Alright, so there's chapter 7. I know it's taken a while. has been all messy for a while and then my comp wasn't working for like three days, but here's an update for you. I'll have chapter 8 up tomorrow probably. Hope you enjoyed!!! =)**


	8. How can I say no?

**Disclaimer: You know how this goes; I do not own FF8 or any of its characters.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, and sexual content.**

**Author's Note: Alright so this chapter has officially been revised and hopefully less rushed? Lemme know! =)**

* * *

_"The true feelings of sex is that of deep intimacy, and above all deep complicity." -_ James Dickey

**********

"What do you think did this to them, this is a strong spell they've been hit with."

"Maybe that's why he didn't want us going with him; he probably figured we have had more than our fair share of magic and sorceress' for our lifetime."

There was a silence that followed, "Sorry Rinoa."

"It's alright Zell."

"The nurse said that the other guy had a couple of broken ribs. Wonder what happened to him?"

"Well it looks like the only thing wrong with Squall was that he was burnt, had a couple blows to the head, and he was pretty fatigued. Must have overdone it, dumbass."

"Don't call him a dumbass, Irvine; he was trying to keep us safe!" Came a warning from Rinoa.

Squall squeezed his closed eyes together tighter, letting out a groan of discomfort as he finally got his eyelids to lift up over his stormy blue eyes.

"He's up!"

He heard feet running his direction, and then could hear several persons breathing. He pushed himself up with his palms, holding his forehead. The movement had caused a brief dizzy spell. Finally the feeling passed. He glanced around to find that every one of his SeeD unit was staring at him.

This brought on a round of anxiousness. The center of everyone's attention wasn't exactly Squall's forte. "Um…hey."

Rinoa let out a squeal of excitement as she placed a hand over his, squeezing it, "you're alright. You had us worried sick, Squall Leonhart."

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that."

Zell prodded Irvine in the ribs, grinning, "Typical Squall. He totally doesn't care."

Selphie and Quistis sniggered a little but Rinoa ignored them, her dark eyes twinkling with happiness, "I was so scared. I was going to come and get you but Selphie cast a sleep spell on me," she whispered, casting the subject of her sentence a dark look.

Selphie laughed, "What, I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't exactly just bludgeon you over the head…I'm sure that would have went over well with Squally-poo."

Squall's eyes widened at her use of the nickname she had deemed for him while they were in private. He hated it, like he hated any other nickname that he had been given aside from whatever Rinoa wanted to call him, "Shut up, Selphie."

The brunette laughed again, covering her mouth with her hand to stifle the sound.

"Now that you've come to, would you care to fill us in on what you were doing?" Quistis asked, her arms automatically crossing over her chest as she always did.

Squall freed his legs from underneath the hospital bed's thin cover, swinging them over the side and getting up, ignoring the pain that shot through his body like a white heat, "No I'm not. You all are instructed not to ask anymore questions about where I was at and what I was doing, and if I find out that you were, you'll deal with me, understood? This is a direct order."

Everyone's face remained unmoving, their eyes locked on Squall, who seemed all the more irritated with their lack of ability to offer their confirmation of his order.

"Rinoa," he began, "I need to see you in the office later."

She blinked, her face turning red, "Of course, Squall. I'll see you in the office…when?"

"In fifteen minutes. You all are to return to your rounds and duties. I'm sorry I can't be of more of an outlet but this matter has to remain confidential."

Zell finally broke out of his trance and stepped in front of Squall, his eyes serious, "Listen Squall, I don't know what happened but it's not fair to keep us out on the loop. We're all your friends, why can't we know what's going on? Tell us what happened to you, dude."

The SeeD leader hesitated for a moment before sighing, "Fine, later I will fill everyone in on what transpired and what we are to do about it. Until then, go about your duties. I will intercom for you to come to the control room when I wish to speak with you."

They all nodded, a smile on Zell's face, "Yes sir!"

Squall glanced over at the still sleeping Jeremiah and nodded. He was safe and sound, just as he had told him. He turned back around, his face close to Rinoa's, "Fifteen minutes."

************

Rinoa picked at her attire the whole walk to Squall's office, continually running her fingers through her hair to make sure that it was absolutely perfect when she got to see him again. It was strange, the feeling she got when he was talking to her in the infirmary was definitely not that of 'her' Squall. He was back to being harsh and cold, and not that those traits necessarily bothered her but something just wasn't right.

She sucked in a breath as she knocked on his office door, "Come in Rinoa."

She obeyed, shutting the door behind her as she walked in, "Hey Squall, I'm here just like you asked. What's going on?"

Squall nodded to the couch that was inside the huge room. Rinoa caught on to his allusion and went to sit down. He sat down beside her, running his hands through his hair for a moment before he looked up at her, ice blue meeting dark brown, almost black eyes.

"Rinoa, I'm worried about everything that's happened and in the best interest of your well being, I'm removing you from SeeD."

Her eyes rounded, "Squall, what do you mean you're removing me? I'm just as much of this team as anyone else."

He sighed, "I know that Rin, but with what happened I find that it's in your best interest to not be apart of SeeD during this mission. I can't let you…I won't let you…" He stopped short.

She shifted, placing a hand on his cheek, "Squall please just talk to me. I'm so worried and confused that I don't know whether to cry or ask questions. Please just tell me what's going on."

Squall swallowed for a moment, loving the smell of her skin. She was such a comfort to him, his own personal guardian angel, "Rinoa, Ultemecia is back and I can't have you becoming possessed again, or hurt or even…killed. She is coming for me and she plans on using you against me. I won't let your life be bargained because of her sick pleasures. I won't do it."

Rinoa's face fell for a moment before she smiled slightly at Squall. She touched his cheek, tears brimming in her eyes, "Squall, don't you know that it doesn't matter what evil there is in this world, this is nothing that could ever keep me from being by your side."

He shook his head, grabbing her hand firmly in his own gloved hand, "Rinoa, no. I can't…I won't let anything happen to you."

She frowned, "Squall I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. I'm going with you."

"You can't."

"Why not?!" She growled, growing impatient with his constant refusal.

"Because I can't stand the idea of not having you with me always!" He snapped back, almost as if he was giving her an order, his eyes hard.

Her heart skipped. "Squall…"

"No, don't even start. Just drop it," he grumbled, moving away from her slightly.

She shook her head, touching his cheek again, brushing a couple strands of brown hair away from his eyes, "There is nothing that anyone can do to promise tomorrow to someone. Sometimes people live to see the next day, sometimes they don't. That's life, and if it's time for me to go, then it's time."

He growled and grabbed her offending hand's wrist, pulling her to him roughly, his nose touching hers as his eyes bore into her own, "There's a difference between natural death and death that's taken from you. That's stealing your time away from you and I won't let it happen, do you understand me? I already almost lost you more times than I care to admit, and I'm not going to let it happen again."

Rinoa swallowed, smelling his cologne, her mind clouding. She was beginning to lose her concentration on the subject of their argument. He was intoxicating.

"Squall…" she whispered, her voice catching.

His eyes left her eyes to find her lips quivering. He knew she wasn't going to listen. That was one of the many things he loved about Rinoa. She always followed her heart. Luckily for him she did or else he would have never had her for his own. He sighed, giving in to her persistence, "Fine Rinoa, you can stay on SeeD," he muttered, his heart breaking ever so slightly. He didn't dare think of what Ultemecia would do once they engaged her in battle and she caught sight of Rinoa. She knew that was Squall's weakness and she would use it to her advantage. '_No…even if I have to die to protect her, I will. She will not hurt one hair on her head_.'

************

Zell ran through the training facility for his run as he always did, lapping it several times before he came to a stop, his head swimming with the possibilities of what Squall had to tell them.

"Hey, I thought you might be in here."

He jerked his head towards the entrance and caught sight of Quistis approaching him. He grinned, "Hey, what's up?"

She turned red instantly. Zell frowned, "Oooook…"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the café and grab some dinner with me."

He blinked, wiping sweat from his brow. She immediately laughed nervously, "You don't have to if you don't want."

Zell shrugged, "Sure, let me shower off really quick and then I'll met you in the café, say in like twenty minutes?"

Quistis beamed at him, "Sounds great. It's a da- it's a meeting!" She waved at him before scurrying off. Zell simply laughed, shaking his head.

************

Rinoa continued to stare at his mouth, licking her lips in response, "Thank you, Squall. I know it's hard but I'm glad that you're going to let me stay on SeeD with you."

"Whatever," he grumbled, suddenly realizing that he still had a firm grasp on her wrist, her body still pulled flush against him. His face turned a shade of crimson as he cleared his throat, "Sorry."

Rinoa smiled at him, that sweet smile that sent chills down his spine, "So when do we get to go on that other date you promised me?"

He swallowed, "When would you _like_ to go?"

"How about right _now_?"

Squall's face grew confused. This earned a laugh from Rinoa, "We don't even have to leave your office."

Immediately catching on to her suggestion, he smiled slightly at her, his face taking a sheepish look.

"Please?"

He was hesitant. Should he even be considering this offer, especially considering what their futures held in store for them…a grueling battle with Ultemecia? But still…_'How can I say no?_'

He let go of her wrist, her face instantly falling. He wasn't going to let it get out of control, he never did. Squall was extremely disciplined in that way.

And then…as if the weight of the world had suddenly taken his heart captive, Squall sighed.

His hand cupped her jaw, his lips sealing over hers. Her eyes instantly fluttered shut, the air dissolving from her lungs.

She whimpered her approval as she kissed him back, more demanding. He caught on to her anxiousness and pulled her on top of him so that she was straddling him, his tongue sliding into her mouth slowly, rubbing against her tongue and teeth, tasting that sweet taste of mint.

Rinoa immediately took advantage of her position and intertwined her fingers into his longer brown hair, her mouth and tongue eager against his, her body temperature rising, something inside of her beginning to grow.

Squall shifted underneath of her. He was removing his replacement jacket. The other had been tossed, along with his burnt gloves. He grimaced a little with the pain of his burns brushing against fabric, but continued, his hands snaking underneath her long blue robe-like shirt, his hands cupping her bottom. She gasped in delight, her head spinning with the moment. It was simply unreal. She had never imagined Squall to give in to the temptation of being with her in that way. She was going to soak this in for all that it was worth.

And then, his mouth broke away from her, only to busy itself with her jaw line and neck. She moaned, her head lulling back so that he could have better view of his work. Again she felt something inside of her grow, growing more intense with each kiss, each touch, each moan.

Squall watched the way her body melted under her touch. He had only been with a few women in his lifetime, but he was more than aware of a woman's needs. He was very in tune with their building temperature, anxious moans, and wild hands grabbing at his body where ever they could grasp. Rinoa was following these exact predications, her hips grinding on top of him ever so slightly. It was more of an instinct; she didn't know why she was acting this way. He watched as her cheeks tinted red, as she gave an attempt to stop her animalistic need to grind her hips.

Squall paused as her attempts grew few and far between, her movements becoming more hurried and desperate, her nails beginning to dig at his shoulders through his v-necked wife beater. He fought back an urge to groan as he felt his pants quickly becoming tighter and tighter in the front, her hips stimulating him faster than he wished to be.

His hands released her bottom to unbutton her blue outer shirt, letting it fall to the ground. Next came her black top, leaving her in only her bra. With each article of clothing that was shed, she gasped and turned her face away from him. "Rinoa."

She peeked to see Squall's eyes looking at her, "Don't be shy," he murmured against her temple, helping her sit straight up again. He looked at the black fabric of her bra for a moment, his eyes locking it away into his memory banks as his hands slid behind her back, unhooked the seal, and pulled the bra away from her body, letting it join the rest of her clothes on the floor.

The sun and shadows played pictures onto her exposed flesh, her chest rising and falling in labored breaths as she tried to remain steadfast, her lower lip sucked into her mouth for extra support. Squall's hands grabbed her hips and pulled her hard against his waist. Rinoa's body temperature soared upon feeling the ever growing arousal he wore, letting out a slight mewl of delight as his ungloved fingers wandered up her toned stomach, drawing invisible patterns into her skin, always inching up closer to his target. He placed his palm down and pushed his hand up through the crevice that separated the two mounds of taunt flesh, watching as she attempted a quick glance at his face, uncertainty plastered through out those warm eyes she wore.

To say she felt embarrassed would have been an understatement, even if it was with Squall. Did everyone feel like this when they lost their…their first time? Her mind didn't even wish to think the word; it was still too much to come to terms with. Even though she wanted this, the idea of not being untouched was still a new and foreign concept to her.

A warm and wet muscle brought her back down to reality. Rinoa's hands tightened on Squall's shoulders, her eyes wide, mouth parting. Her fighter was running his tongue over each hardened nipple with a painstakingly slow pace, his hands tightening around her waist to steady her.

"Squall," she purred, arching into his core melting tongue and mouth.

He let one hand leave her waist to come up and rub the pebbles, flicking them slightly, her sensitive nerves overwhelming her senses. He watched her nibble on her lower lip as he rubbed her entire breast under his warm hand. While his hand busied itself with one breast, his mouth took control of the other, drawing the nipple into his mouth, his teeth lightly grazing the erect pebble, his tongue flicking over it at the same time.

Her breaths were becoming incredibly shaky, the temperature inside of her reaching new heights, which she thought impossible. Surely she would spontaneously combust at any moment. Rinoa felt her heart begin to race as he sucked and kissed her breasts, he was gentle, but rough when it was needed. He was so in tune with how to go about this that it was uncanny.

His kisses began to wander away from her breasts, down her stomach, shifting her weight on his lap so that he would have better access to her well-formed stomach. She yipped in delight and hesitation as his hot breath touched the rim of her shorts.

He balanced her back onto his lap, his head returning back to her level. Rinoa lowered her eyes to find him looking up at her through long lashes, striking blue eyes peering at her inquisitively before his other hand that had been steadying her waist left its position and slid up through her long strands of black hair, intertwining the silky strands and locking his hand into place, tugging her hair to expose her throat.

His tongue slid out of his mouth and hungrily licked over his lips at this sight, a slight smile forming at his lips. His other hand rested at the button of her shorts, pushing it in and out, the pants parting slightly. She yelped slightly, causing Squall to freeze. "Do you wish for me to stop?"

She shook her head quickly, embarrassed at her quiet outburst. He waited for a moment longer before his mouth returned to licking and kissing her throat, his hand grabbing her zipper and tugging it down. Rinoa steadied herself with Squall's shoulders as he slipped her shorts away from her frame, staring at her long legs with desire. His eyes fell upon the black lace panties that had been the mate of her bra. It hugged her sex like a second skin, calling out to him like a siren.

His clothes were becoming increasingly uncomfortable as his erection throbbed against his clothes, begging for air…begging for release.

Squall glanced at her face to make sure she was alright, realizing how slow he was taking all of this. It was a necessity. She was inexperienced and afraid, and he didn't want to make her fear him. He cared for her, and he wanted to show her that with his thoughtful and precise movements.

"Are you alright?" He asked her in barely more than a whisper. She seemed surprise by the sudden use of his voice. She lowered her lips so that they hovered over his, daring him to claim them, "I'm fine."

That was all the permission he needed. He removed his hand from her hair and let it join its mate at her waist. Both hands grabbed the sides of the panties and pulled them down, using her wriggling to free her body of her tight-fitting undergarment.

She buried her face into the side of his neck, holding her breath as she waited for his next move. Suddenly she felt like the most insecure person that ever had roamed the planet, wanting nothing more than to hear the thoughts that were passing through Squall's head. She often wished for that ability but never had she wanted that gift more than right now. Surely he was finding her inadequate. There was nothing special about her appearance.

It was the exact opposite. Squall was in awe. Everything about her was completely smooth and perfect, just as he had imagined it would be, but only better. His eyes glanced down at her aroused sex, the scent enticing him, filling his nostrils and his mind. She was completely shaved, much to his surprise. His hand laid on her being, feeling the smooth surface, a smile trying to cross onto his face. He couldn't resist asking.

"You shave?"

If there was a word for how she felt then she didn't know it. It was such a combination of embarrassment, need, humor, love, and lust that it was just beyond her realm of comprehension to name her feelings. "I thought that if things ever got to this point that you would appreciate it if I were…tamed."

A slight chuckle passed from his throat. Rinoa's insides clenched together upon hearing his sexy laugh. It was dark and rare, always a turn on for her. Everything about this man drove her stark crazy, and she couldn't get enough.

"It's nice," he murmured, reaching down to untie her boots, letting her kick them off. And then he rolled off her socks, leaving her completely nude in his wake. Then he set back into the couch.

Rinoa was puzzled. Why had he stopped?

She slowly opened her eyes to find him staring at her, panting slightly, his eyes a little amused with her innocence. What was he waiting on? Her eyes roamed over his body to find that he was still completely clothed. She flashed him a goofy but endearing grin. It would be rather hard to make love if he was still full clothed, it would have defeated the purpose entirely.

The ex-sorceress sucked in a breath as she reached for the hem of his wife beater, stealing a glance of approval from him before she tugged at it shyly, raising it up and over his head, throwing it to the floor with her clothes. He was built and cut to say the least. To say that Squall took his physical health seriously would have been an understatement, and what made it all the more alluring was that he didn't do it to entrance the female species; he did it so that he could be in top shape for combat, not sex. She bent down and kissed his chest, letting her cheek rest against it for a while, listening to his heartbeat. It was beating sporadically. She smiled, her hands falling to his belts. He nodded to her, remaining motionless as she began to unbuckle all of them, her anxiousness beginning to build to the point of insanity.

And then her hands rested on his pants' button. She made a bold move and leaned down to nibble on his ear. She nearly stopped when he made a grunting noise, but then continued upon realizing that he was enjoying it. He was still relatively reserved while having sex. Her mind laughed. She wouldn't have imagined him any other way.

Slowly she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, letting out a slight cry as he shifted underneath her, suspending their bodies in the air as he pushed down his pants and boxers, kicking the two articles of clothing off. He slid of his shoes and socks as well, settling back down into the couch.

Rinoa touched his burnt arm lightly, frowning, "At least she didn't get you all the way."

He nodded, his eyes never leaving her face as she let her hands roam his physique. She had heard from so many people that it hurt…and that you bled. Would she cry? She didn't want to cry in front of Squall. She couldn't, she needed to be brave for him. Besides, she wanted this. She wanted him.

Timidly, Rinoa let her hands fall from his chest and let them wander south, her fingertips sliding along each abdominal slowly, her temperature soaring again as she stopped just slow of his erection. Well endowed, as she had fantasized about. She had been in many sex education classes, and she had heard more than an earful from Selphie. And with this knowledge she mustered up the courage to touch his shaft, her small fingers circling around him, securing his member in her soft hand.

He groaned at this, his head falling backwards against the couch. Instinctively Rinoa moved her hand up and down, the friction of her movements against him driving him mad. It wasn't until she let her thumb rub over his member's head that she heard him exhale. He had been holding his breath the entire time.

Suddenly he raised his hand, two fingers sliding between her legs to sneak through the outer rims of her sex, stopping almost as soon as they were buried underneath the wet silk. Rinoa gasped, surprised at the quickness of his movements. Her hand grew limp around his arousal, her eyes wide as her sex moistened further at his touch. His fingers began to circle, stimulating the surging animal inside of her. She grabbed his shoulders, her hips automatically rocking into his fingers. He kissed her breasts while he rubbed her clit, her arousal growing and growing, her insides growing tighter and tighter with each circle of his skilled fingers. She could feel it, something was coming.

"Faster," she whispered, all embarrassment and formality quickly escaping her body. She was eager to know what this building sensation was. He complied, his war calloused fingers quickening their task, his teeth grazing the side of her neck. She rocked her hips against his fingers quicker, her breath growing more impatient. And then, he stopped, just as she was about to experience what she was curious about, he stopped his trade.

A mischievous and absolutely enticing grin was plastered onto his face once she opened her eyes, "Not yet, Rin."

But what wasn't she allowed to have yet? She chewed on her lower lip as he shifted from underneath her, laying her down on her back onto the soft fabric of the couch. She waited, holding her breath within the walls of her lungs, eager and frightened at the same time.

He pinned her underneath him, placing her legs on either side of him. He kissed her forehead, his mouth working over to her ear, "We can stop if you want."

"No," she immediately rebutted, her blood pounding against her skin, "Please…don't stop."

Squall couldn't help but place a soft kiss onto her mouth, reassuring her that she was in safe hands, "This is going to hurt for a little bit, Rinoa. But it will pass, just give it time."

She nodded, bracing for impact. He shifted his weight so that he was centered over her, using his knees to push her thighs apart further, his eyes taking in the sight of her aroused sex, beckoning to him. He couldn't wait any longer. He pressed his tip into her and slowly the rest of him. She was tight, almost painfully tight. A sharp pain shot through her as he entered and separated her, his member completely filling her sex. She whimpered in pain for a while. It was a far worse pain than she had dreamed. The blood pounded hard against her temples as she bit down on her lower lip, trying hard not to scream profanities at this painful experience. But then the pain grew less and less painful until she was quite sure that she didn't feel any pain at all, only need. She realized he was waiting on her, his eyes shimmering with lust. And then she felt it, a warm liquid seeping from her inside. It was official. She was no longer untouched, and Squall had been the one to do it, just as she had longed for.

Squall caught on to her readiness and began to push in and out, slowly at first, then finding a maddening rhythm, his hips working like fluid in between her. He kissed her neck, her mouth, her breasts, her stomach, and her ears; anywhere he could place his mouth.

A pressure inside Rinoa was becoming too much. She began to pant, her nails scrapping his bare back with an unforgiving vengeance. It was all she could do not to scream at the top of her lungs of the pleasure coursing through her veins.

It was what she had always dreamt of, and so much more. It was soul shattering, but in the way that a soul should be shattered.

His movements became quicker, jerking with a need of his own, his hips grinding down into her harder and further. Her body was close to that precipice again, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist to bring him as hard against her as she could.

It was growing closer, closer, with each thrust. It was making her go insane, she needed to feel it. "Squall, please," she whimpered, "More, more, please." He did as she instructed happily, his hips moving quickly, his member sliding in and out of her with an ungodly pace. She sucked in a breath and held it inside of her, she almost there…she could feel it coming and then it happened. Her insides let go, gloving around Squall's member, throbbing around him as she came, screaming his name at the top of her lungs. He moved faster and faster as she continued to climax, her voice breaking several times as she relished in the feeling of being in heaven.

She caught him smirking at his handy work. And she couldn't help but smile in response, her heart racing.

He proceeded to pump in and out of her, deeper and harder each time. He continued this process until she could feel it again, the pressure in the pit of her stomach, demanding to be released. She had heard stories from the other girls that sometimes they had not even been satisfied enough to go at all during sex, Squall was about to make her go twice.

"More-" She panted, her back arching underneath him, her hips grinding into his, intensifying the experience for both of them. Her toes curled into the cushion of the couch, her warm eyes rolling into the back of her head as she came again, his name ripping from her chest. Her insides milked him again, beckoning for him to follow along with her. And then he too came, thrusting into her one deep and final time, his contents filling her. He merely moaned into her ear softly, other than that, he remained quiet as he always was.

Rinoa smiled at him, wiping sweat away from his brow. He gave her a slight smile as well, his eyes doing all the talking. She reached up and placed a kiss to his mouth, feeling him return the favor. It had been exactly how she had dreamt it would be, and so much more. They had shared the most intimate of moments with one another…now they were one. They would always be one solid entity instead of two separate pieces. Her heart buzzed in her chest, "I love you," she whispered.

Squall simply kissed her cheek.

* * *

**There was chapter 8! I hope you all enjoyed it. Chapter 9 up tomorrow or the day after! Review!**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	9. Tricked

**Disclaimer: I do not own. **

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug references, and sexual content.**

**Author's note: So apparently I'm not the only one who loves the idea of Squall getting it on in his office. Lol. Keep the reviews comin'!**

* * *

_You know I love you so, I love you enough to let you go._ –Kelly Clarkson, "Already Gone"

*********

Irvine ruffled a hand through his hair, "But I don't understand…did it sound like she was being hurt?"

The cadet in training nodded, eyes expectant.

"And you're sure that it was Rinoa Heartilly?"

"I know it was her. I watched her walk in there. When there's a pretty girl you don't just ignore her."

Irvine nodded, "I heard that."

"And she walked in to the office and for a while it was quiet like a meeting was going on and then all of a sudden she started screaming."

"Who else was in the office? Does Squall know?"

"Well I think that's who she was yelling at…she kept yelling his name."

Irvine's face whitened, "Wh…you're sure?"

The younger man nodded, his face becoming more frantic as time passed, "Should we call a nurse from the infirmary in case she's hurt?"

The sniper shook his head, "No…I think I'll just go take a look myself. Were you the only one in the hall?"

"Yes sir."

"Alright, well don't speak of this matter to anyone because if I find out that you did, that gun I'm so fond of…it's going to go so far up your a-"

"YES SIR!" The younger man saluted and darted off, not caring to hear the rest of the sentence. Irvine smirked to himself as he headed to the third level, his head muddied. He was rather hoping that she was hurt, as awful as it sounded. Because if not, that left him and Quistis and he wasn't about to be the last virgin standing.

He nearly fell as he rounded the corner, Squall's office just in sight. A younger girl screamed in surprise when he ran into her, "S-sorry!" He blurted out, waving at her as he continued his mad run for Squall's office door.

Irvine's arm automatically outstretched as the doorknob drew closer. '_Almost…there-'_

The door opened before he reached it, Rinoa the one standing in the door frame as Irvine let out a yelp, barreling straight into her. They both went soaring through the door frame, landing on the floor with a thud, Rinoa trapped underneath the sniper's weight.

She could feel her heartbeat pounding inside her ear drums, as blood pulsed through her veins, reminding her nerves that she was incredibly sore, and that this tumble was only going to make matters worse. "Irvy…what are you doing?" She whispered as he pushed himself up, his long hair covering most of his face.

"Get off of her, Irvine."

They both jerked their heads upwards to find Squall leaning against his desk, arms folded casually across his chest. The glowering look he was sending Irvine told him that it was best to get off of her quickly. He jumped up, taking hold of Rinoa's hand and elbow, helped her to her feet and helped to brush her off, his hands brushing over her shirt where just underneath two breasts laid. His eyes rounded, his throat drying as he side glanced at Squall. His face seemed just as disinterested, but his eyes flickered with a fire that Irvine knew would result in physical pain at a later date. "S-sorry Rinoa, I didn't mean to…you know-"

Her face was beat red as she backed away from him, continuing to brush herself off, "It's alright."

"What do you need, Irvine?" Squall breathed, seeming rather annoyed in general. Or was that Squall's business tone? Or was that Squall's happy voice? Hell, Irvine couldn't ever tell the difference. The only one Squall ever showed any type of emotion with was Rinoa, and just how much of an emotion did he just _show_ her?

"Well I er…I-I was told by a cadet that there was screaming in here…I came to check and make sure that you didn't need assistance."

Squall took a glance at Rinoa, whose face took on a greenish color. Immediately she took to biting her nails. Then he returned his attention back to Irvine, "If I can't handle a one hundred and fifteen pound woman then I shouldn't be the commander of SeeD."

"Now when you say _handle_…" Irvine's own mind screamed obscenities at him, completely shocked with what his stupid mouth had just blabbed.

Rinoa stared hard at the back of Irvine's head, a little confused. She knew she had screamed several times but they hadn't been _that_ loud had they? Her eyes wandered over to find Squall placing a hand onto his forehead, another on his hip, as he commonly did when he was beyond words. Apparently they had been.

"Listen Irvine, I don't have time to mess with this right now. I have a lot of paperwork that needs to be done, and then I need to hold a meeting with you all soon. Couldn't you just go and be alone with yourself for a little while?"

Irvine snorted, "Listen here Leonhart, I don't know what the deal is with you but you've been acting peculiar ever since you got back from that little secret mission of yours."

Squall's hands fisted, shaking at his sides. Irvine took quick notice, his blackened eye instantly hurting, "I don't have the time to deal with this right now. Get out and I'll summon you when it's time for the meeting."

The sniper held his arms out in front of him in remission, backing away towards the door, "Alright, sheesh! See you then."

And with that, he jerked around to run out the door, tripping over a plant in the hallway, a loud crash resounding through the halls. Squall groaned in annoyed agony as he sat down behind his desk.

Rinoa's face instantly slackened, the room feeling a little less tense. Luckily they had been dressed and rearranged long before Irvine had decided to barge in on their…meeting.

"He was just worried about me."

"So he thinks I would attack you, does he?"

The sorceress shrugged, "He did say he thought you were acting weird."

A huffing noise was her answer. She frowned. Something was on his mind. There was always something on his mind but when he even refused to acknowledge any conversation she knew that he was in a much darker mood of thought.

"Squall?-"

"Not now, Rin. I need to try and get some of this paperwork done. Go ahead and go do some things you need finished. I'll com you when I need to meet with you all."

Rinoa's body froze, her fingertips feeling heavy all of a sudden. After what they had just done she thought it would have been a door into the hallowed halls of Squall's mind, but instead she felt more distant than she ever had.

And then upon remembering their love making, she remembered telling him that she loved him, but he hadn't answered her back. He had simply kissed her forehead. Her heart felt like it was swelling, and not in the good way. In the horrible, foreboding feeling kinda way.

Fighting back tears that were beginning to cloud her vision she nodded, giving him a slight wave as she too fled from the room, her hands covering her face once she was out of his sight.

Squall simply hung his head, brown locks concealing his eyes. If only she had stayed to look at him a little longer, she would have seen the pain in his as well.

************

Quistis smiled across the table at Zell as he plopped down opposite her. He matched her grin with one of his own, his blue eyes seeming to twinkle.

"So what's on the menu…sloppy death between a bun or spa-don't-get-me-etti?"

Trepe giggled, holding a hand in front of her mouth, "Neither of those two things, actually. They're serving pizza."

Zell clapped his hand together like an eager child, "Well hell yeah! They know a way to a man's heart. Pizza."

"I thought it was through his stomach."

He shrugged, "Well my heart is a little more specific I s'pose."

Again she giggled. He winked before jumping up, "I'll be back."

He wasn't gone long before he returned with two trays, drinks and pizza on their surface. Quistis felt her cheeks burn as he placed the tray he had ordered for her in front of her. He plopped down sloppily again, chomping off a mouthful of the greasy food, "Sheesh Quisty, it's just a tray. What the hell you blushin' for? You allergic or somethin'?"

The former instructor shook her head quickly, busying herself with rearranging the pepperonis on her pizza, "No, I just didn't expect you to go get mine as well. I could have done it."

Zell cocked an eyebrow, the tattoo on his face molding along with this expression, the lightning bolt-like pattern framing his eyes perfectly, "Er…sorry?"

She pushed her glasses up onto the ridge of her nose further, "It's fine, I was just saying that you didn't have to do that, Zell. But thank you very much."

Quistis decided to steal a quick look at him, and much to her surprise he was finishing off his slice. He swallowed, grabbing his drink and sucking it down. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and sighed, "Well so much for that work out. I should know better than to work out before I eat."

"Don't worry about it, you still look great."

Zell blinked.

Quistis nearly fell backwards away from the table, her face the color of a cherry, her mouth moving but no words escaping.

"Thanks Quisty," he said cheerfully, giving her a thumbs up. "So what, you not hungry or something?"

She looked down to find that her food was basically untouched, except for the new locations of the pepperonis. She picked one up and popped it into her mouth. He nodded, "Better. So I wonder when Squall is going to call us for the meeting. I wanna know what's going on. He was acting all…weird."

"Indeed. It seems that whatever it is has greatly shaken his center."

"His center?"

She nodded, feeling a little tense over her choice of words, "It freaked…him…out?"

She said roughly, cracking a smile afterwards.

Zell laughed so loudly that yet again the occupants in the café turned to see what all the ruckus was about. "Awesomeness!" He exclaimed, offering a hand for her to high five. Slowly she raised her hand and slapped her palm against his. She let out a squeak when his fingertips curled over hers, giving them a slight squeeze, "That's the way to be, Quisty. Let loose every once in a while."

He released her hand and went back to downing his drink, stealing one of her pepperonis. "Perhaps we will be called back into active duty?" She offered, taking a bite out of the slice finally.

The martial artist shrugged, "I fuckin' hope so…I'm tired of making rounds all the time and sneaking into the quad to take naps. I want some action!" He exclaimed, his hands fisting as if he were about to engage someone in combat.

Quistis pointed at him, chewing her food simultaneously, "I knew you were napping on your rounds."

He shrugged, "Who doesn't know that I nap on my rounds? I should really just stop sneaking around and just go to my dorm room and kick my feet up for a few hours."

"I'm sure Squall will go for that," she grumbled, tucking a few strands of her blonde hair behind her ears.

A few chime sounds filled the room and then the intercom came over the system, "Would the SeeD unit 7D please report to the 3rd floor for a brief meeting?"

And it was over. "Precise and to the point. Well sorry supper was interrupted Quisty, guess we'll have to reschedule."

She felt her heart flutter again, "That would be fun."

He got up and pointed at his chest, "But this time I get to pick the place. We're gonna go to the city and hit up a restaurant there. Sound cool?"

Quistis got up as well, walking around the table to join him as they walked towards the office, "Sounds fun."

He grinned, "Kick ass!"

************

They all filed in, murmuring amongst themselves as they took seats through out the room, Rinoa huddling close to Selphie, her face rather red for an unknown reason.

Squall sealed the door shut behind him, "Alright, so I asked you here to tell you about the current situation."

'_Get on with it, damn!_' Zell thought to himself, his face growing blank.

"Shut up Zell," Squall growled, knowing that look all too well.

The tattooed man laughed, scratching at the back of his head.

"As I was saying," the leader breathed, leaning against his desk as he usually did during their meetings. He seemed extra reserved tonight, his eyes rarely locking with anyone else's as they usually did. He seemed almost…sad.

"I was sent to Centra Region to investigate any and all illegal activity that had been reported to Esthar City. Upon arrival I found a black base. I entered it and spoke with the man running the facility. He spoke of a rare device that he had unearthed a few months earlier, tests being performed on this particular device. His assistant, our lovely spare in the infirmary, then approached his commanding officer telling him that he was a fool for even tampering with the device. At this point in time the commander began to change. His eyes glazed over and his voice changed, almost as if he was possessed. And indeed he was possessed."

"By whom?" Irvine asked, placing an arm around Selphie's shoulder.

Squall paused, taking a quick glance around the room, "Ultemecia."

Immediately the air thickened, everyone's breath stuck inside their lungs as they temporarily forgot their ability to breathe, "Ultemecia?" Selphie screeched, her nails digging into Irvine's legs. He whimpered slightly in discomfort.

Squall nodded, "Yes. Apparently the device had been cursed with her spirit. She then possessed the commander upon his unlocking of the device. She has returned, revenge plaguing her mind."

Quistis shook her head, "No, she'll be coming after you!"

He sighed, "I'm aware of this, and anyone close to me. And she must not be allowed to come into close contact with Sorceress Rinoa. Therefore-" Squall pressed a button on his desk, the door immediately opening behind them. A large group of SeeD members walked in. "-I must regretfully remove Rinoa Heartilly as a member of SeeD. She will be transported to the White SeeD ship to stay with them until this battle is over."

Everyone jumped to their feet, Rinoa rushing towards Squall, her face wild, "But…you said, you said I could….I could stay. You told me I could stay with you!" She screamed, tears freely falling from her eyes.

He couldn't stand to look at her. He turned his head, closing his eyes, "I'm sorry, it's for the best. I can't let your life be put into danger. It's too risky."

Rinoa's heart was ripping to pieces. That's why he had let himself get lost in the moment. He wasn't telling her he loved her…he was saying _**goodbye**_. She shook her head frantically, tears flying around her like raindrops, "Squall, no, please, don't make me leave…I can't-"

The SeeD members seized holds on her arms and waist, dragging her towards the door, "SQUALL DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE YOU…PLEASE!!!" She choked out, kicking and struggling against their strong grips. "I'll….I'll use magic on them Squall, tell them to get off of me." The other members of Squall's SeeD unit stared unblinking at what was transpiring before them. As much as they wanted to interfere, they knew they couldn't, and even if they could, their bodies wouldn't move.

"They are under reflect spells. I'm sorry," he muttered, his eyes still closed as she was finally taken through the door, her screams of disagreement thundering through the halls.

He had never meant to let her stay, he had only been buying his time when they had made love…he had always had the intentions of letting her go. Rinoa's eyes remained locked on his form, his head hanging in pain as the automatic door slowly closed, sealing her off from the rest of her friends and him. And soon, it was completely closed, taking away her view of Squall, of her life, of everything.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**There was chapter 9. I hope you all enjoyed it. Chapter 10 up tomorrow probably. Review! =)**

**Oh I'm going to start putting quotes at the beginning of my fics. I always do it when I write but for some reason I have completely forgot to do it on any of my fics so I'm going to go back through and add beginning quotes to them, my completed ones as well. **

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	10. When you're gone

**Disclaimer: I do not own FF8 or any of its characters.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's Note: Poor Rinoa. =(**

* * *

"_I must be cruel only to be kind;__  
__Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind.__"_ – William Shakespeare

_*******_

The room was ungodly quiet. Everyone's mind swirled with what to say to him but yet their voices failed them. Instead everyone simply stared at the figure of Squall, leaning against his desk for support, the only sign of weakness he had ever shown in his entire life. It was such an oddity. Their SeeD leader cleared his throat several times before he continued, his head still bowed, eyes closed, "We are to prepare for the upcoming battle. I do not know when or where Ultemecia will strike, but I do know that she will use her host to take over the Magic Military. It is with this knowledge that we must prepare any and all SeeD bases and personnel. It is with the deepest of sympathies that I must ask you all to once again stand steadfast with me against the powers of a sorceress, hopefully for the last time."

No one spoke. They all merely nodded their heads in agreement.

"Fine then. You are dismissed for the evening."

They all lingered for a moment before trudging out of the door, the automatic seal hissing as it locked back into place behind them. They walked in silence with one another for the longest time before Selphie let out a roar of anger, "Who does he think he _**is**_? He _**can't**_ just send away Rinoa like that."

Zell was the next to speak, placing a hand on Selphie's shoulder, "He has his reasons. Squall would not act like this if it weren't in the best interest of everyone."

"But she didn't want to go! You saw her Zell, she was heartbroken!" The brunette cried, throwing her arms around Zell's neck, crying into his chest.

Irvine blinked. Typically he would have found this action offensive but under the weight of the incident that had just transpired before them, he found no jealousy. Instead he felt secure. She was only seeking comfort, and Zell was one of her truest friends, regardless of how much they argued.

"But it's not fair…what if something horrible happens to her and we're no where around? We won't have a chance to say goodbye. He's her knight, for shit's sake!" She continued to wail, tears soaking into Zell's black wife beater.

Then the door behind them opened with an eerie wail of gears grinding together, and made the same hissing sound as it closed yet again. Selphie choked on a sob as she threw her eyes open, turning with the others to see Squall storming out of the room, his eyes focused straight ahead of him. To say that the air was thicker would have been a silly notion, but Irvine was completely under the impression that he was quite unable to breathe once Squall had appeared.

Quistis raised a hand in an effort to reach out and grab Squall's forearm, but she missed horribly, partly because he went out of his way to miss her effort, the other part because of how fast he was stalking past them, as if he were on a mission.

He stormed past them all without the slightest of acknowledgements, his face pale, lips placed into a firm line, eyes hard but vacant.

They watched as he slowly grew smaller and smaller as the distance between the two parties grew, Squall finally disappearing into the elevator.

Irvine glanced over at everyone else, "Should someone try to talk to him?"

Selphie glared at him, "No. He doesn't deserve our sympathies. He did this to himself. He didn't even run this decision by anyone else, he just did it."

"You're being unfair, Selph," Irvine muttered, tossing his long hair over his shoulder.

This earned an even deadlier glare from the fire pistol, "No, you're being an insensitive man! Of course you're going to take his side. Why wouldn't you? You practically worship the ground that Squall walks on. Well let me tell you something; that little hero that you admire so much is nothing more than a man with a complex. Get over it!" She spat at him, her eyes wild with her pain of losing her best friend.

The sniper swallowed, the lump in his throat protesting his attempts to remove it, "Selph…"

"No, I'm finished with this," she snarled, shoving away from Zell's chest, storming towards the elevator, similar to the way Squall had exited.

Quistis and Zell stood in awe of Selphie's outburst, unsure eyes flickering over to find Irvine still gaping after her, "What the hell, how am I taking his side? And I do not worship the ground Squall walks on!" He said furiously, spinning around to stare at Zell and Quistis, "Do you think she was right? She's totally wrong in this one, isn't she?"

Zell's stomach fell straight through the floor. He hated being in the middle of a couple's argument. He couldn't handle a romantic argument that was his own, let alone someone else's. "Um…Well I don't think you were wrong in backing Squall. He's our leader and our friend; he deserves our support, even if we don't understand his methods. As far as worshipping the ground he walks on…"

Irvine waited as Zell glanced at Quistis, who decided to remain quiet throughout the entire conversation, wanting no part in this hysteria. Zell coughed, "You um…"

The sniper crossed his arms, cocking an eyebrow as he awaited Zell's point of view, knowing all too well that the martial artist was wracking his brains for a way to get out of this.

"Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?" Irvine grumbled.

"That…I'm gonna go check it out. Sorry we couldn't finish this talk dude, we'll catch up later!" Zell shouted as he barreled down the hallway, rapidly pressing the door for the elevator to shut.

"Oh no you don't!" Irvine exclaimed, rushing after him, diving into the elevator, just shy of the doors catching his feet as they closed.

Quistis listened closely to hear the two arguing back and forth as the elevator descended its path to the downstairs levels. She frowned, heading towards the stairs instead. She didn't know what had compelled Squall to make such a rash decision without consulting her. All she knew was that whatever it was, it had unnerved him so bad that he had decided to send Rinoa away for protection. Her heart fell. Perhaps Squall was preparing for something that no one was ready for: goodbye.

************

"I'm sorry Ms. Heartilly but this cell is for your own good. We are under the strictest of orders to keep you held here until we are advised otherwise."

Rinoa glared at the two SeeD guards as they pushed her dinner through an opening into her cell, and closed it immediately once the rations had been safely placed inside.

They hesitated for a moment before they saluted her, "Also Ms. Heartilly, the cell is reinforced with magic resistant materials, it would be of no use to try and break free. Once we are sure that you will not attempt an escape, we will be more than happy to let you out to wander the ship."

They gave her a lingering look before they exited up a flight of stairs, the cabin door locking behind them.

Rinoa let out a sigh as she plopped down onto her make shift bed, glancing about the cabin cell. They had left books and paper and pen to entertain her. And the food looked half way decent. But there was no amount of distractions that could keep her mind from her betrayal.

She touched her thighs lightly, her face turning crimson as she remembered the moment she and Squall had shared. Immediately her heart fluttered and her body temperature began to rise. He had been so careful of her needs. Everything had been for her.

And then her thoughts darkened. She had prided herself on being able to convince him of actually touching her in more of a manner than just that of a peck on her lips. It had been freeing. But it had all been a trick, a shame to keep her mind clouded so that she wouldn't have the faintest idea of what was going to happen next. She had indeed noticed his lack of emotion towards her briefly before the meeting but had merely shrugged it off as shyness. The first time of making love between lovers was always a little…awkward afterwards, or at least she imagined it would be.

Rinoa hugged her knees to her chest, resting a cheek against her knees and lower thighs as she stared at the wall, her heart pumping slowly in her chest, with each pump breaking a little more. It was the worst feeling in the world. She had trusted Squall. After everything they had been through, all the feelings they had confessed to one another…after everything, it had always been one sided all along, hadn't it?

Tears slid down her face as she silently cried. It was overwhelming. The first person she had given herself to in body, mind and soul had completely taken it and thrown it away like she was trash. He was her knight; he was supposed to protect her. He was supposed to love her. He rarely said those three words but his eyes, those beautiful storm blue eyes would always be the answer she was looking for her. He had felt the same way about her too. And even though she knew he was trying to protect her…why? She had fought Ultemecia before, and they had won. What made this time so much different?

"I have to know," she whispered to herself, wiping away the salty droplets of water.

Rinoa got to her feet, sniffling slightly as she surveyed her cell yet again. There had to be a weak spot and she was going to find it. She used to be part of a rebellion group. This would be like stealing candy from a baby.

************

Nearly a week later, Quistis was heading towards the training facility, in hopes of catching Zell finishing up his work out routine. It had been nearly a week since any of the friends had seen each other. And Trepe had grown incredibly tired of the distance everyone was keeping. Things had seemed to be going decent with her blooming relationship with Zell. Her eyes rounded in a puzzled expression. '_Would you even call it a relationship?'_

She fiddled with the long strands of blonde hair that she had decided would look better down today. Not that she was trying to impress Zell with her looks or anything like that. One thing was for certain, Quistis was proud of who she was. It wasn't such a big deal for her to leave her hair down…or that she spent nearly an hour making it absolutely as smooth and silky as it could be, right?

And the mascara she had applied to her eyelashes was nothing more than just a nice change as well. She wasn't trying to impress him in the slightest way. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

It was humid in the training room on this particular late night. She knew Zell worked out frequently, partly because of the exercise, mostly because he was so hyper he didn't know what to do with himself.

Every fiend inside the training center seemed to be incapacitated. '_Note to self: must order new shipment of fiends for training facility._'

She could hear some crashing noises through the first door panel. '_Hmm, I guess I'll follow the sounds of horror._'

Quistis stepped through the first door panel to find that it too was filled with incapacitated fiends. '_Double that shipment._'

She continued to search through the second section of the training facility when her eyes fell upon the entrance towards the romantic get away, as she liked to call it. Something told her to look there.

So she walked through the brush and defeated fiends into the pouring moonlight. There she found Zell, leaning over the railing, staring up at the moon as if it were changing shapes on him.

'_Courage Quistis, courage_.' She reminded herself, taking in a deep breath of preparation. She approached him quietly, careful not to make even the slightest of sounds. Slowly she raised a hand, watching the moon cast shadows upon her cream colored skin.

"You're out late, Quistis."

She froze, her mouth automatically parting upon hearing him utter her name. "What…how did you know it was me?" She babbled, coming to stand next to him, placing her hands on the railing alongside him.

His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling with even breaths of the night air. He seemed peaceful. "I could smell your perfume. You wear that scent a lot."

Quistis felt her face begin to burn, "It was just a lucky guess."

Zell finally poked a blue eye open, the tattoo on his face highlighting the blue in the darkness, "It smells like peaches."

'_Peaches and Crème to be exact_.' She thought, a slight grin forming at her lips, "You're very observant, Zell."

He shrugged, "Sometimes. It just depends on if I find the subject interesting or not."

She remained quiet to ponder his statement through her mind, "So, what have you been doing lately? I haven't seen anyone in nearly a week now. It's like everyone is avoiding one another."

Zell yawned, "I guess we all are still upset over everything that happened with Rinoa. I've just been training and helping out the new recruits. Nothing too spectacular. So how has the office been…Squall being an absolute teddy bear?" He teased, his other eye opening now as if he was starting to wake up from a sleep.

Quistis wrinkled her nose with the idea of Squall warming up to her in Rinoa's absence, "Actually, Squall hasn't been in to the office in nearly a week. I haven't seen him making rounds either. If there is a command that must be ordered, he does it via the com network. It's rather strange. I'm starting to worry about him."

Zell nodded, "Yeah, I've tried to go see him in his dorm room but he never answers. He's my bud ya know? I wanna make sure he's alright."

The blonde woman sighed, "I suppose we were all so caught up in how upset we were that we didn't even stop to think about how Squall felt. I've known Squall for a long time. I've been his personal tutor for the longest of times and when he has strong feelings for something, he usually doesn't just let it go. He had a reason for his decision, but what was it?"

"Well Selphie did say something about Ultemecia coming straight after him this time."

Quistis nodded but shook her hand dismissively, "That's true but Squall's life has been threatened before and he has not bothered to send Rinoa away. It's something more than that, but what_ is_ it?"

Quistis completely zoned out as her mind raced at the possibilities of Squall's logic when a round of Zell's bubbly laughter echoed through her ears. Her eyes shot back to find him holding his stomach from his excessive laughter, "What is it? Did I miss something?"

The blond martial artist shook his head, steadying himself against the railing, gasping for air as he recovered, "No, it's just funny. Your nose wrinkles and your lips get all pouty when you're thinking really hard."

Former instructor Trepe felt her insides tighten with embarrassment, "Stop mocking me, Zell."

Zell snorted, prodding her in her ribs lightly with his elbow, "I wasn't mocking you. It's cute."

************

Irvine had decided that avoiding Selphie for a week was his best solution. With the way she had erupted he had decided that he had needed time to think about everything. Since when did he worship Squall? Wasn't he the one always telling him that he needed to bust a nut soon or else his head would explode? That's not something you would typically say to someone you admire. It was more a brother-like bond. Nothing more, definitely not idolization.

"Damn you Selphie, you mouthy little cuss," he growled, throwing his gun across the room. He yelped as it discharged, blowing a hole into his ceiling, the paint and wood crashing to the ground around his smoking weapon.

Irvine swallowed. He knew who he had to tell about his sudden mishap, but he didn't know if he could face Squall with his current mood. He hadn't seen Squall since the meeting but whenever the gunblade wielder decided to not show his face at all, it was definitely not the ideal time to tell him anything that may make his mood any sourer. If that were even possible.

"I guess I'll just have to wait until the storm has subsided," he grumbled, getting up to grab his gun, flipping it open and dislodging the rest of the bullets.

"Why the hell didn't I think about that earlier?"

A knock sounded at his door. "Shit," he whispered, frantically looking about his room for a decent hiding spot for all of the ceiling carnage that littered the floor, "Hold on."

He quickly threw all the debris into the closet, along with his gun, brushing off any dust that had happened to collect on his jacket.

Irvine threw open the door to find Selphie bouncing up and down on the other side, her eyes wide with horror, "What happened? I heard a gun shot. Did you shoot yourself?"

The sniper sniggered, "Ha-ha, so funny. No…my weapon accidentally discharged and…well…" He nodded to the ceiling. Selphie walked into the room, her hand covering her smiling mouth, "What, did you do that on purpose?"

Irvine glared at her, "Why are you here…I highly doubt you were worried about me enough to come and check on me. You were probably hoping that I had shot my toe off or something."

Selphie simply rolled her eyes, "I see that you're still upset about everything."

"I would say that's a hell yes. What the hell was your deal, Selphie? Do you live to embarrass me or something? And what was it with you hugging all over Zell? It didn't bother me until I had an excessive amount of time to think about it and now I'm super pissed!"

The brunette woman twirled her hair between her thumb and index finger, "Zell is just a friend, Irvy. You should know that. He's like my annoying older brother."

"That you've had sex with on more than multiple occasions. If that's how you treat your brother then you need to see a counselor because that shit is SICK!" Irvine snapped back at her, his eyes closing with the heat of his anger.

Selphie's face turned red with her own anger as she crossed the room and slapped Irvine square across the face, "There, now your whole face matches that black eye of yours!"

He touched his cheek as she stalked back to the door, her flipped out hair bouncing as she did so. And regardless of how angry they were with one another, he couldn't ignore the way her yellow jumper hugged her bottom when she walked. Suddenly she spun around on her heels and held a finger his direction, "You're wrong. I don't wish that you would have shot your toe off, I wish you would have shot off your dick!"

And with that she left the room, kicking the wall as she did so.

Irvine stared after her, a hand automatically falling onto his pants' zipper, his mouth shaking at the mere idea of shooting off his…"This means war," he grumbled.

************

Zell and Quistis had recovered from the tension that had filled the air upon Zell's compliment on her facial expressions and had decided that searching for Squall was their best option.

"Do you think he's in his dorm?" Zell asked.

"Let's try it. Tomorrow is Saturday and no work is due so staying up late won't be too much of an inconvenience."

He nodded as they headed towards the dormitories. "Your hair looks nice," he muttered, watching her touch the shining strands of blonde in response, "And I like how your eyes look. They're different." She blushed, trying her best to keep her composure under his probing eyes.

A few minutes later, they were standing in front of Squall's room, both breathing sporadically, wondering if they should even be here.

'_I'm too young to die._' Zell thought to himself as he scratched at the back of his head.

Quistis couldn't help but wonder if this was going against her better judgment. "C'mon, we need to try and talk to him."

She raised a fist and knocked against the door, blinking when it automatically slid open. "Squall?" She asked as she led the entry into the ice cold, pitch black room. Zell followed her, wanting to cower behind her for protection. The only thing he was really afraid of was Squall's wrath. It was such a force that sometimes Zell wondered if he had been blessed by the GFs with an abnormal ability to kick someone's ass.

"He's not here," Zell finally muttered, upon noticing the bed that seemed to have not been touched in a while.

"Where do you think he is?" Quistis asked him, general concern beginning to flood through her nervous system.

"Well he's not here, he wasn't in the hallways, and he wasn't in the training facility-"

"And he can't be in the offices because it's locked and I have the keys," Quistis offered, her nose automatically wrinkling, her lips parting into that pouting expression that Zell had noticed earlier.

"Well then that leaves the library, the infirmary, the café, and the quad. I don't think he left the base, mostly because we're mobile right now and if he left he would have definitely had a bad meeting with the ground," Zell told her, smiling at the idea of Squall falling off of the Garden.

"Let's try the library and then the café."

Quistis nodded, "I doubt he's in the infirmary unless he injured someone else while he's in this mood and decided to oversee their surgery for good measure."

Zell blinked, his teeth shining at her as he pointed at her chest, "You totally made a Squall joke."

The blonde woman blushed, "It wasn't too good was it?"

Zell shook his head, "No it was good. Subtle but totally funny. Great job, Quisty."

************

Rinoa stared at the walls of her cell, finding the familiar indentations and imperfections that she always did when she was incredibly bored. It was nightfall and dinner had already been delivered. She wasn't do for another visit from any of the SeeD cadets until morning for breakfast, and she was thankful. It gave her more time to think of an escape. She had been locked up in this cell for the past week, and regardless of her many attempts to use magic against the metal bars, all of her spells were absorbed like a sponge. And of course all of the cadets came down to feed her with a heavy reflect spell on, much to her disappointment.

She was bound to get out of here. She didn't want to hurt anyone, but if she could control a cadet into unlocking the cell, she would be home free. She would be able to find Balamb Garden and give Squall the brutal beat down that he had coming to him. It was odd, in a matter of a week she had gone through such a wide array of emotions that she had concluded that she would forgive Squall, but never forget his betrayal, as much as she wished that she could. She would carry it with her where ever she went. And if she got the chance to see him again, she didn't know how she would react. When she was all alone she would cry and wail for his embrace, his soft words of endearment, but when it was daylight and the loneliness of the night time wasn't looming inside her heart, she would curse the man and plan of ways to attack him and leave him immobile for weeks on end. But when it came down to it, she was completely in love with him, as much as she wished that she wasn't at present time.

Rinoa's hand fell down to hold Squall's ring in the palm of her hand, studying the decorative pattern emblazed onto the band. She ran a finger over the lion's head, a soft smile forming at her lips. Her heart broke a little further as she remembered looking at the band while she was trapped in space, remembering how comforting it had been to have something of Squall's with her at the time of her soon-to-be death. And then Squall had saved her, carried her in his arms, and hugged her tighter than she had ever been hugged in her entire life.

"I miss him," she whispered to the moon, hunkering down into a corner of the shadowed cell, "And I can't stand it."

************

Zell came running back to the spot they had deemed their meeting place. He placed his hands on his knees as he gulped for air, sweating forming onto his brow, "He wasn't in the library or the café."

"He wasn't in the infirmary or the docking stations either."

The martial artist swallowed harshly before returning to his full height, sucking in an over dramatic manner, "Well, I guess that leaves the Quad."

"Why would he be there though? It's under construction for the Garden Festival coming up."

Zell blinked and then hit the rim of his palm against the side of his head, "Of course, that's the perfect spot. It's so jig-rigged and unromantic that no one would dare go there to be alone. It's perfect for Squall. No one to bother him. Plus he gets a perfect view off of the Garden. C'mon, let's get it going, Quisty!" He exclaimed, darting off towards the Quad, Quistis hot on his heels.

Typically she would have found searching for a comrade bothersome, but with Zell it was an adventure, one that she never wanted to see come to an end.

Ten minutes later they were running through the Quad, past all of the boards and orange cones and hammers and nails and other miscellaneous construction tools.

"He has to be in here, unless he disappeared into a puff of smoke!" Zell breathed, his eyes frantically searching the landscape for any sign of their commander.

Suddenly Quistis shot her arm out in front of Zell's chest, a silent order to stop. "What is it?" He whispered, following her eyes to find her subject of attention.

Sitting down on the ground, the moonlight falling onto his stationary form, was Squall, his legs dangling out from underneath the railings that separated him from the edge of the Garden's landscape. He had his head resting on his arms, eyes buried in both of his arms.

"Should we try to talk to him?" Quistis asked Zell, lowering her arm.

They watched as Squall reached out and grabbed a tall bottle that was sitting beside him, taking it and pressing the opening to his lips, tilting his head back. He drank for the longest time before he set it back down, his hand still wrapped around the neck of the bottle.

"Holy fuckin' shit is that al-co-hol? And more so, is Squall drinkin'?!" Zell exclaimed in a loud whisper, his eyes nearly about to fall out of his skull.

"That would be simply out of Squall's typical character. I'm sure it's just water…or something," Quistis whispered back, her own worries written all over her face.

"I can hear you whispering," Came a loud growl.

"Oh shit," Zell whimpered, a hand falling to rest on Quistis' shoulder.

She let out a slight groan, her emotions confusing her to no end. Zell's hand was sending her heart into overdrive, but the idea of Squall drinking and the tone he was speaking in frightened her, regardless of how well she knew Squall. This wasn't his typical behavior. It was as if everything she had ever learned about her long time friend had been thrown out the window and ran over by several cars.

"Well if you can hear us would you please tell us what you're drinking, Commander Leonhart?" Quistis demanded, using her most formal tone.

And she heard him sigh, a typical Squall gesture. So some things were still the same.

"Alcohol."

"WHAT?!" Zell exclaimed, nearly falling backwards with the weight of Squall's confession.

* * *

**Alright so there was chapter 10. I hope you enjoyed it. A little longer than my updates typically are. Rather proud of it. So I decided to re-do the office sex chapter. Lol. I agree with most of you, it was rather rushed so I will edit it and let you all know when I have it updated that way you can re-read it if you want to and let me know how it worked out for you once I have it perfected. Keep the reviews comin'! =)**

**Much love,**

**  
~Nikki~**


	11. Drinking

**Disclaimer: -sigh- Do I really need to say it?**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference and sexual content.**

**Author's note: I edited chapter 8 if you all would like to re-read the office incident! And I redid the part in chapter 10 where Rinoa expresses a great skill in stretching. Just for you…you know who you are. *wink wink***

* * *

"_Somewhere there is someone that dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you are __lonely__ remember it's true, someone, somewhere is thinking of you._" – Unknown

"_Anger is just a cowardly extension of __sadness__. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt._" – Tom Gates

***********

Zell stole a rather quick glance at Quistis as he steadied himself, trying with all of his might to come to terms with Squall's confession of partaking in the comforts of alcohol.

Quistis was upset with Squall's behavior but she was more astonished than anything. She hadn't expected their respected SeeD leader to be reduced to such extreme measures. Surely he could have put up talking to one of them before turning to booze?

She straightened her back before walking over to Squall's crouched over form, raising the bottle to his lips and drinking again.

"Squall, stop this behavior. It is highly uncalled for."

She heard him give a sardonic chuckle, almost as if saying with his laugh that he had expected her to say as much. Quistis frowned, towering over the gunblade wielder as he continued to drink. The smell was a horrible one. It was harsh to smell, let alone actually consuming it. Surely he would have a hole burn straight through the lining of his stomach if he did this much more.

"Let me see that," she grumbled, steadying herself with one of his shoulders, reaching over him towards the bottle he had secured in his hand.

He simply extended his arm to keep the bottle out of her reach. "Stop."

Quistis hesitated upon hearing his command, "Is that a direct order, Commander?"

"Yes."

Her brows furrowed together as she stared at the bottle catching the moon's light inside its emptying glass. "I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'm going to have to disobey, sir."

Quistis let out a screech as she ran behind Squall and pushed his head hard down against the railing, isolating the one arm, prying his fingers away from the bottle at the best of her ability.

Zell sighed, dashing over to the commotion, grabbing Quistis by the waist. Her attack on Squall came to a halt instantly, her eyes widening at the sudden presence of his strong hands about her waist. "Just leave it alone, Quisty. He almost has it all gone already, and I'm quite sure he probably has more in his dorm room."

The blonde woman cursed under her breath as she let go of Squall's arm, stepping away from him, watching his humorous attempt to raise his head from against the metal rail, his head falling backwards from the alcohol's curse upon his nervous system.

Zell knelt down beside Squall, placing a firm hand on his friend's shoulder, "Squall, dude, what's going on? Why are you out here this late at night? What's with not showing up to the office? How come you have been avoiding everyone? And what's with the alcohol, that shit smells like it could burn a hole through the ground if you poured it out."

The brown haired man turned his eyes from the moon to let the glassy blue orbs attempt a clear picture of Zell standing before him, "Can I ask you a question?"

Zell shrugged, "Sure."

"What's with all the questions?" Squall grumbled, turning his attention back to the moon, his shoulders relaxing as he rested his chin on his forearm.

The blond man blinked, rather unaccustomed to Squall's drunken behavior, "Um, Squall, for real dude, can't you at least answer some of my questions? We're kinda worried about you, bro."

"I haven't done anything to make anyone worry."

Quistis stifled her attempt to yell at him and instead cleared her throat, taking a deep breath before she continued, "Squall, what do you call this? You never drink! Last time I checked you were completely against it. Something about impairing your ability to make decent decisions and move? And what about it only making your mind numb, a sign of weakness?"

Squall snorted, pressing the rim of the bottle against his lips again.

Zell scratched the side of his head, completely unsure about any of this. "Is this about Rinoa?"

Squall's back instantly grew rigid, his hand tightening on the bottle in his grasp.

'_Damn, I know I'm not supposed to say the R-word_.' Zell thought to himself, a feeling of sympathy stirring inside him at the way Squall had reacted. He had kept his mouth shut but his body had told them all that they needed to know.

"I'm not going to stay here and listen to this," Squall grumbled, holding onto the metal rail as he struggled to his feet, nearly dropping the bottle in his opposite hand.

Quistis came forward, her arms and hands ready in case he needed help from someone. He wasn't swaying too awfully much, and he didn't appear to have any slurring problem. He was a drunk that you wouldn't know was drunk until you caught a whiff of his breath. Although his reaction time was cut down to nearly nothing at all.

Squall cast them both a dark glower before attempting to stalk off, nearly tripping over a couple of protruding nails. _'If Selphie would tell everyone how to fix up this Quad for the Garden Festival then I wouldn't have to worry about nearly breaking my neck_. _Do I have to do every damn thing?_' He thought to himself, his face growing a tad sour.

"Squall, wait. Don't go. I didn't mean anything by it."

Their commander hesitated for a moment, using Zell's distraction to gather his movements together, "Of course you didn't. No one ever does."

Zell and Quistis glanced at each other while Squall had his back turned to them.

"What do you mean?" Quistis asked, gathering up her courage as she approached Squall, keeping a few feet's distance away from him.

"Forget it. I don't have to explain myself to you."

He was more hateful than he usually was. And ever since Rinoa had been sent away, his commands had been nothing short of ice cold, and that had been through a com device. Quistis could only imagine what it would have been like if they had been in the same room. She shivered to think about it.

Zell finally joined Quistis closer to Squall, clearing his throat, "Look dude, I'm not too good at this kinda stuff, but I feel like I should talk to ya."

The SeeD commander stiffened. Talking to someone about how he felt was absolutely impossible…unless it was Rinoa, and even then it was still difficult. His mind swirled with the images of his last couple of hours with Rinoa, the way she had looked at him, how scared and eager she had been, how happy she seemed to be just to be around him. It sickened him. Or maybe it was the alcohol catching up to him. "I don't have anything to talk about. Leave me alone."

"Squall you can't keep shutting everyone out like this. It's been a whole week now. We need to start getting ready for our battle remember? You're the one who told us all about it. We need you," Quistis told him, her tone quickly taking on a pleading effect.

The moon reflected off of the bottle and directly into Squall's glassy eyes, his vision swimming. His mind busied itself with visions of Rinoa again, his heart instantly falling straight through his feet to the ground, or at least it felt like it. '_You can't use this as an excuse not to protect everyone. You sent her away to protect her, make good on your actions or the pain you've caused will have been in vain.'_

The brunette cleared his throat, turning to face Zell and Quistis slowly, "We need to…um," he paused, trying to clear his head enough to come up with a decent strategy, "make contact with Esthar City. We'll need recruits along with any and all available SeeD members. Aside from the White SeeD ship inhabitants of course," he quickly added, his eyes glinting with a slight form of anger once he caught them glancing at one another.

The other two nodded, smiling slightly, "Understood. When should we commence setting up a meeting with Esthar?"

"It will have to be an emergency meeting. Who knows how much Ultemecia has accomplished in a matter of a week. Laguna will need an update as well."

Quistis glared at him, "You still haven't contacted Esthar to give them a report on your findings in Centra Region?"

Squall shrugged, "Slipped my mind."

Zell coughed, trying to cover up a laugh. Quistis turned on him, her eyes warning him to keep his laughter to himself.

He coughed again, turning his back towards her.

Quistis simply rolled her eyes before turning back to Squall, "Squall you must realize that this is simply unacceptable behavior. You are running an entire military school. You have been made into one of the world's top political figures-"

"I didn't ask for it."

"But you still must act accordingly," She told him. And then she crossed the line into the forbidden zone, "You can't let Rinoa down. What would she think if she saw you acting like this?"

Quistis heard Zell cough, and took notice of him walking away from them. She turned her attention back to Squall and instantly regretted doing so. His eyebrows were furrowed together, his teeth exposed in what looked like almost a growling gesture. The bottle of alcohol fell to the ground and shattered, causing a shriek to escape from Trepe's lips. His hands were fisting and releasing repeatedly as if he were trying to discern whether to topple her or not.

Instead he closed the distance between him and her, his eyes shaking in their sockets as he swayed ever so slightly, "You have no right to even use her as a weapon against me Quistis Trepe. I have done nothing but sacrifice myself for this Garden, for SeeD, for Edea, for Cid, for Rinoa, for all of our friends, for all of the planet, and for _you_. **DO NOT** stand there and pass judgment over me. I'm tired of everyone always saying something about me behind my back. I'm one man, dammit. I shouldn't have all of these weights thrown onto my shoulders like I'm some sort of god. If I want time to myself I should be granted a few nights of peace and quiet. I don't think that's asking too _fucking_ much."

Zell's mouth dropped at Squall's use of rough language. Sure Squall was vulgar sometimes but he never went as far to drop the f-bomb…at least not in public. That was unusual of him.

Quistis remained frozen in her place, her body quivering with a fear that she was quite unaccustomed to when it came to dealing with Squall. He continued to glower at her for a while longer before he turned around, slowly she noted, and walked towards the exit of the Quad.

Zell waited for a moment longer before he decided to fall into place next to her again. "Well that went smoothly-"

"What are you talking about? That was horrible!" Quistis sniffed, busying her fingers with strands of her hair to keep from letting on that she was intensely embarrassed.

"I was being sarcastic. Maybe we should give him a few more days before we try to approach him again?"

Quistis shook her head, "No, you can do it next time. I'm not going to bother Squall anymore."

Zell couldn't help but wonder if that last sentence had a little more meaning behind it than what was intended. "He's just upset, Quisty. You really shouldn't have said anything about Rinoa being disappointed in him."

Quistis felt tears brim up inside her eyes, "I know I was just…trying to motivate him. Squall used to respond to tactics like that. I wasn't trying to hurt him."

"Well you heard him didn't you? He said something about people saying stuff about him behind his back? I mean for shit's sake, the man saved the world and now he has to do it a second time and people are still saying stuff about him. How long until people just leave him alone?"

The former instructor felt her cheeks burn under the weight of his words. Zell was right. '_And rather insightful,'_ Quistis added mentally, feeling her shoulders begin to slump under the realization of the pain she had just caused Squall inadvertently.

Zell was still talking, but Quistis had gone on to just stare at his mouth as it moved, realizing how smoothly his lips and teeth seemed to move along with one another. It was rather hypnotizing.

"Sound alright, Quisty?"

She blinked, staring at him a little clueless, "W-what? I'm sorry Zell I wasn't completely listening."

He smirked, "I was saying let's just give it a rest for now. Let him have time alone to himself and then we can try and talk to him again later."

Quistis frowned, "But what about Ultemecia? It's obviously a pressing matter or else Squall wouldn't have sent Rinoa away so soon."

Zell shook his head, "Nah I don't think that's it. I think he was right in sending her away this early. It was easy to sever the ties early on before the battle. Could you imagine him doing it once the battle was underway? Rinoa would have capsized the entire Garden with a royal fit."

The former instructor nodded, "Do you think he's afraid that something might happen to Rinoa if she had stayed here?"

Zell shrugged, "Who knows, the guy's head is like an impenetrable prison. Nothing ever gets out."

Quistis grinned, "Good analogy."

Zell bowed mockingly, "I do try, madam. Now, how about I walk you back to the dorms and we'll say goodnight?"

She blushed, "I'd like that."

************

Squall sauntered with the best of his ability back to his dorm room, locking it as it sealed shut behind him. The pitch black room was ice cold, not that he cared or planned to do anything about it. It was more of just an observation. He sighed, heading towards the mini-kitchen, opening a cabinet to reveal at least five more bottles of his alcohol of choice. He reached up and took one, grunting as he tried to keep his balance.

The gunblade wielder sighed in content upon returning to his flat feet, completely unscarred. He shut the cabinet door and went to sit at his computer desk, kicking his feet up onto the wood, leaning back and closing his eyes.

The only noise that could be heard in his dorm room was the sound of his uneven breathing.

He studied his room as if it were all brand new to him, his vision growing more and more doubled, the room practically spinning. And that was when he saw it, sitting up on his nightstand, completely untouched and seemingly forgotten.

Squall attempted getting to his feet, only to fall back down into the chair under the lack of support from his legs. He snorted at his inability to function properly. It didn't matter though, the alcohol was doing the trick. His mind was numb, and so was his pain.

A stray hand came up to touch his chest through his white shirt, playing there for a moment before falling back down limply to his side. His heart raced as his eyes continued to stare at the object adorning the surface closest to his bed.

Again he pushed against the desk, staggering to his feet. He stumbled towards the nightstand, his free hand outstretched to make a grab for it. He missed, his drunken body tripping over itself, hitting the nightstand on the way down, earning him a rough meeting with the floor. Luckily he reacted quickly enough to toss the bottle of alcohol onto the bed to keep it from meeting a nasty end against the hard floor.

Squall shifted on his stomach, groaning in pain as he shifted his eyes back to stare at the floor. The object had fallen from his nightstand.

Slowly he reached out and pulled it to him, twirling it around on his fingertips. The moonlight danced over its surface, teasing him of what he didn't have. His heart bled. Squall stifled a cry of sadness as he brought the item to his lips and kissed it lightly.

With more effort than he typically cared to exert over such a small task, Squall sat up onto his knees, unfastening his lion necklace to let the small item join it on its chain. He reapplied the silver chain and sighed, touching the new addition to his appearance. It almost seemed to be burning his skin. But he didn't mind, it was worth it if he could feel the slightest bit closer to her. Closer to her scent, her presence, her memory.

Now that he was alone he was incredibly grateful that Rinoa had slipped her ring into his room unnoticed only hours before their final meeting. She had his ring, and now he had hers. It was ironic really. She had asked for his ring as a form of comfort, and he was using hers for the same reason. At first he had found her attachment to his ring to be childish, but now he understood completely.

Squall pulled himself into his bed, popping the top off of the bottle of the demon's drink and pressed the rim to his shaking lips, gulping at its contents. Anything to keep that annoying burning sensation in his chest from bothering him any further. It was becoming quite the nuisance.

************

Quistis grinned as they stopped in front of her dorm room, "Well here we are. Thanks for going with me to find Squall, Zell. We can try again soon."

The tattooed man nodded, "No problemo."

She wrinkled her nose. He was so care free and honest that it was almost unreal, "Well I'll see you tomorrow."

He grinned, "Sure thing, Quisty."

She watched as he turned to leave. Suddenly he turned back around, giving her appearance a go-over, "I wanted to tell you…you're hair and eyes look really nice tonight."

He waved as he turned back around and headed the direction of his own dorm, leaving Quistis leaning against her doorway; completely and utterly breathless.

* * *

**Alright so chapter 11. I liked this one. Kinda sad. Chapter 12 up tomorrow sometime. Review guys!!! =)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	12. Storms

**Disclaimer: C'mon now, you all know how this show goes by now. ; )**

**Rating: M for violence, language, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's note: *sniffle* I just wanna give Squall the biggest hug. Poor guy.**

* * *

"_Those who lose dreaming are lost."_ – Australian Aboriginal Proverb

********

Irvine yawned, stretching his legs, a flash of lightning filling up the dark room of his dorm. It was a particularly bad storm tonight. It had started off peaceful enough, but then it had suddenly grown cloudy, and then rain. Lots of it. And then lightning and thunder that shook all of Garden as it hovered just off the coast of Balamb filled the air.

The perfect weather to match his all too perfect mood. He caught himself snorting, "Hardly."

He swung his legs over his bed and sat there scratching at the back of his long brown hair for a moment, sighing. It was stupid. The fight he and Selphie were having was completely uncalled for and highly stupid. Why were they fighting anyways?

He wrinkled his forehead with deep thought but came up with no answer to that question. All that he could remember was that he was mad and she had wished for physical harm to befall his…he gulped, looking down at his zipper. "That's just wrong."

"IRVY OPEN THE DOOR PUH-LEEEASE!"

The sniper stared at his door, quite confused as to the sudden outburst that had just sounded on the other side of it. He grudgingly pushed himself to his feet, shuffling to the door slowly.

"C'MON! WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?!"

He grit his teeth together, trying to keep his quirky remarks to himself. Irvine turned to the number pad and pressed in the dorm room's code, releasing the lock from the door. Before he even had a chance to back away so that his visitor could walk in, the door swished open and Selphie jumped through.

She whipped around so that she could glare at him…or at least he assumed she was glaring. It was rather hard to tell in the darkness.

"Why did you take your sweet ass time coming to the door?"

Irvine cocked an eyebrow, deciding that it was best not to tell her that he didn't really want her to come in, that's why he had taken his sweet ass time. He walked to the wall and pressed a button, the lights illuminating the room. Everything was rather kept except for the large hole in the ceiling. He frowned. He still didn't want to tell Squall about that. If Selphie didn't kill him with this stupid arguing, then he was rather sure that Squall would kill him just because he was seriously lacking any form of patience.

He yawned, going to his bed and lying down. Irvine placed his forearm over his eyelids to block the rather obtrusive light from hitting his face, "What do you want, Selphie?"

It was silent. '_She's fidgeting_.' He thought to himself, a small smirk passing over his lips.

As the silence began to drag on he grew rather impatient, raising his arm enough so that he could peer at her. She indeed was fidgeting, her fingers wrapping and unwrapping strands of her brown hair.

"Well?" He asked her, his voice oozing with annoyance.

"It's storming."

Irvine's face grew solemn, "I may not be the brightest crayon in the box but even I know that it's fuckin' storming, Selph. If that's all you wanted to tell me then you can go ahead and leave."

He heard her whimper, causing him to look at her again. She was slumping against the wall, her teeth lodged into her lower lip.

"What's the matter?" He asked as he helped himself up with an elbow.

"You're being mean."

She had said it so soft that he was a little unsure if he had heard her at all, "Pardon?"

Selphie's big eyes welled up as she took in a deep breath, planting her feet into the ground as if she were about to attack him, "You're being mean," she said again, this time more firmly.

Irvine rolled his eyes, "Like you have room to talk, Selphs."

"I don't like it."

"Are you being _serious_ right now? It's like four in the morning. I'm tired. You woke me up out of a dead sleep to tell me that it's raining." Even though his last sentence wasn't entirely true, he wanted to pack it on as thick as he could. "Earlier you told me that you wished I had shot my dick off. You turn on me because I think Squall made a good decision with sending Rinoa away for now. You call me every name in the book and avoid me for like a week, and I'm the mean one? I think you should take a look in the damn mirror because you aren't going to like what you see," he grumbled, turning onto his side so that his back was towards her.

"Irvine-"

"What _is_ it, Selphie? I would _like_ to go to bed."

His eyes shot open upon feeling a hand ghost over his exposed shoulders. "_I'm sorry_."

His heart roared inside his chest at her touch. Irvine rolled back over so that he was facing her, his eyes roaming up her form fitting nightgown to find her still gnawing on her lower lip, eyes sincere.

"Selphie…why do you look like you're going to cry?" He asked her, raising a hand to take one of hers inside of his, all anger ignored for the time being.

She swallowed, eyes darting down to the floor, "I'm…I'm scared."

Irvine froze, "Of what?"

Selphie glanced at the window and then back to him. Irvine then realized what she was saying.

"The storm…you don't like storms."

She smiled meekly, looking rather ashamed of herself, "Selphie, it's alright to be afraid. Everyone is afraid of something."

The fear-gripped Selphie sat down on the edge of the bed, her eyes taking in the cuts and muscles of Irvine's cut chest, suddenly realizing that he was only dressed in a pair of baggy sweat pants, "I was trying to be tough because I was upset over Rinoa. I should have never been such a bitch to you."

'_Amen_.' He thought grimly. He absentmindedly drew circles into her hand with his fingers, breathing in her scent steadily.

"I don't worship Squall, by the way. I just admire him. He's always so well put together and calm, I just don't understand it. I would have broken down by now, for sure. Sending away the one you love has to be difficult. I don't know if I could do it." If only Irvine could see his confident commander now.

She nodded, nudging him over so that she could lie down and snuggle in to him, "I know that. I just…I got so attached to Rinoa that it hurt to see her go like that. She's crazy about him."

Irvine sighed, closing his eyes, "Just because he was the one who put the distance between them doesn't mean he doesn't love her just as much. It's probably a lot more complex than we even think. Sure it was obvious, he doesn't want her possessed by Ultemecia, but is that all?"

Selphie giggled.

He let one eye poke open to look at her, "What?"

"You left the lights on."

"Turn them off on your way out," he grumbled, trying to hide the teasing in his tone.

Her mouth dropped, "What? I can't go back out there! It's still storming. I…I can't-" She trailed off.

"Can't what?" He asked her softly.

Selphie looked up at him through her lashes, a pouting expression on her face, "I can't just stay here for the night?"

Irvine exhaled slowly, his face remaining expressionless, "What makes you think I want you here?" He was so used to teasing her that keeping the laughter far from his voice was a rather simple task now.

The brunette touched his chest, her cheeks turning red, "I could make it worth your while."

His breath caught in his throat. He had been teasing her at first but now that she was crossing over into a different area entirely. He felt rather guilty for even making her think that she had to do something to stay with him tonight. "Selphie, I was only joking. You can stay, I don't mind."

Immediately her face brightened, the biggest of smiles consumed her face, "Thank you, Irvy!"

He chuckled as she tightened her hold around his waist, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Hold on, lemme turn out the lights," he told her, kissing the top of her head. He skillfully got to his feet, tapping the button, letting the lights fading away. Irvine caught sight of Selphie snuggling into the middle of his bed and he couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as he came to stand beside the bed, "And where am I supposed to sleep, exactly?"

He heard her giggle mischievously, "Men sleep on the floor."

"Not this man," he retorted.

Again she giggled, "Aw c'mon, you'd much rather I sleep on the cold floor?"

"There's enough room for both of us!" He growled.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he caught her shaking her head, smiling. A flash of lightning lit up the room, catching Irvine's eyes. They looked…amused.

"Well fine, if you're going to be like that then I guess I'm just going to sleep on top of you then," he muttered, crawling into the bed, his body covering hers. He placed his hands on either side of her face, his eyebrows lifted into a comical expression, "Still gonna hog the whole bed?"

Her heart raced inside of her, her mouth parted in a gasp, her back arching ever so slightly.

His sardonic grin faded upon realizing that she wasn't talking. Perhaps he had crossed the line. "Selphie?"

Her body shifted, her legs rubbing against one another. Irvine caught his eyes lingering at the long and tanned legs, his tongue snaking out to moisten his lips. Now that he actually had a chance to look at her nightgown, he realized just how appealing it truly was. It came to rest at the top of her thighs, clinging to her curvaceous figure all the way up until it v-necked at her chest, spaghetti straps holding the entire purple lace garment into place upon her small form.

Something possessed him, told him to act. His eyes glinted with hunger as he lowered his head and pressed his lips lightly against hers. He heard her sigh into the kiss, her hands holding onto his sides gently.

************

Rinoa still couldn't sleep, even after hours of lying on her bed with her eyes closed, trying with all her might to find the realm of her dreams. She remained completely awake.

The door to her cabin cell creaked open, the moonlight sleeking in as footsteps descended the stairs.

"Who is it?" She called out.

"Cadet Chad, may I come in?"

For a slight moment Rinoa thought she caught her hopes lifting, "Sure."

Moments later the SeeD cadet came into her line of sight, the light from the moon pouring through her window catching the strands of his black hair. His bright green eyes seemed to illuminate the room all by their own, "I figured you were still awake."

She smirked, "I wasn't even making any noises."

"Correction, I was hoping you were awake."

Rinoa laughed, "And why would you hope such a thing for, Chad?"

He shrugged, "I was bored. I figured it wouldn't hurt to let you roam around. You've been an awfully good girl since you've been on board. Besides, we're far from the coast. If you try to escape you'll just end up with a mouth full of sea water."

She frowned, "Well then I'll make sure that I don't make any daring escape attempts."

Chad chuckled, "Well then I'll let you take a walk with me out on the bridge. Would you care to join me?"

Rinoa hesitated for a moment. It had only been a week but already her memories of what her friends looked like, what _he_ looked like, were beginning to fade. It hurt her heart. As much as she tried to remember everything with crispness, she couldn't seem to get the picture in her mind completely right. Something was always missing. She wasn't sure what it was but it was always different. And every time she tried to imagine them, _or him_, their images grew more distorted and flawed.

And the fact that whenever Chad came to keep her company or feed her rations of food brought her happiness made her wonder whether or not she should even consider his offer of touring the ship. She wasn't about to let go…she couldn't.

Her hand fell down to touch the lion ring adorning her necklace. Finally she shook her head, "I'm sorry, I can't."

Chad blinked stupidly until his face turned a couple shades of red, "A-alright then. I just thought I'd ask. I guess we'll try again tomorrow. Sleep well, Rinoa." He saluted her before leaving her alone once again.

She nodded, going to the corner of her cell to sit. Rinoa choked out a wail of sadness, clinging to the ring as if for dear life.

"Please come back to me," she whispered to her memories, "Remember. Remember. REMEMBER!" She cried to herself, tears freely falling down her face as she tried to force herself to remember every aspect of her past life.

But still, even as hard as she tried, the images continued to distort and grow more hazy. Her heart snapped in two as the memory of Squall's face as he smiled slowly slipped away from her.

************

Irvine hesitated, their panting filling the quiet room.

"What's wrong?" Selphie breathed, adjusting her spread legs around his waist, eager for him to become one with her.

He cleared his throat, fixing the condom in place, "What if…what if I don't do it right? Then you'll always compare me to Zell and I don't think I can live with that."

Selphie felt a wave of compassion flood through her, "First of all, you'll be wonderful. Secondly, I won't compare you to Zell."

"How do I know that?" he grumbled, rubbing his tip against her opening. His mouth found her collarbone and licked it.

She whimpered with need, "Because, you two aren't even in the same category."

"How so…it's sex. Sex with him. Sex with me."

"It was sex with Zell…but not with you, Irvy."

His eyes wandered up to find her smiling at him, "It's making love with you."

His blood boiled with pride upon hearing her words, his mouth hungrily covering hers again as he pushed inside of her slowly. He felt her cringe a little at the pain of having him inside of her. He waited. Finally, after a few ragged breaths and whimpers, Selphie bit down into his shoulder.

Desire seared through him like a hot knife. He found a rhythm as he rocked in and out of her.

He listened to her mewls of delight at each movement he made, her own hips following his pattern.

Irvine bent his mouth down to suck a nipple into his lips, his teeth nibbling lightly on the perky pebbles.

Selphie's back arched in sheer delight, her hands grabbing at the fabric of the sheets.

For having never experienced sex before, Irvine was a natural lover. Every sound she made, he fed off of, he inspired, and he reacted to.

Her insides began to grow more wet, her muscles tightening in preparation of what was coming.

Irvine let out a low growl, moving on to the other breast, his hips beginning to rock against her more quickly. He pushed her legs up a little higher, his member driving home a little further.

Their breaths began to hitch inside of them with each movement, their nerves tingling with preparation.

"Irvy…don't stop. Just like that," she purred, her eyes rolling into the back of her head at the sin he was committing against her. It was delightful.

He obeyed well, keeping his pace steady, his technique unchanging, just as she had requested.

And then, "Harder," She squeaked, her hips meeting his with a strong push. His eyes rounded at her eagerness. He placed his hands against her shoulders to keep her firmly on the mattress, pushing her knees closer to her upper body as he pushed in deeper and with more force.

She was whispering dirty words over and over until she tensed underneath him, her eyes flying open. "IRVY!" She screamed to the quiet room.

Irvine sensitive member felt her seal around him, milking him for all his worth as she came. He moved inside of her quicker, loving the noises of pleasure escaping from her bloodied lips. She had been biting down on her lips so hard now that she had drawn blood.

The sniper bent down and licked the blood away. She continued to moan in ecstasy as he felt it. He groaned as he thrust into her with all of his might and ability, holding himself flush against her as he came as well, his contents filling the condom.

Selphie's eyes shifted to his as he leaned down and kissed her gently. Her heart fluttered. "How'd I do?" He asked her, pulling himself out of her insides. He removed the condom, and tied it.

Irvine escaped the confines of the bed to toss the sealed rubber into the trash can. He pulled his discarded pants on once more before rejoining his worn lover in the bed.

Selphie pulled down her nightgown, wrapping a leg around one of his own as she snuggled into his side, her nose nuzzling his neck, "You should ask the rest of the Garden. I'm sure everyone heard me come."

Irvine laughed.

* * *

**Chapter 12 has been completed! I wanted to focus more on these other people this chapter sense they didn't have any lime light in the last chapter. Chapter 13 up in a day or so. Review and lemme know what it's doin' to ya! =)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	13. Distance

**Disclaimer: Same as it always is.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's Note: 2 hook ups? How deliciously dirty. ^^**

* * *

"_If the days won't allow us to see each other, memories will, and if my eyes can't see you, my heart will never forget you." –_ Unknown

*********

The morning was no friend to Squall. The harsh light and muggy air made it difficult for him to manage his daily tasks. He popped several ibuprofens when he had first gotten out of bed. Still, nearly five hours later, that nasty little aching sensation hidden behind his eyes was beginning to get the better of him.

He reached down into the drawer of his office desk and pulled out his stash of ibuprofen. He popped several more into his mouth, adding two or three extra for good measure.

The door to the office made a swishing noise as it opened. Quistis was humming to herself, staring at a handful of paperwork. It was nearing eleven in the morning and she had just now come into the office. They weren't supposed to even have the office open on the weekends but Squall knew that Quistis loved to keep herself busy so she often came to catch up on paperwork on the weekends.

With all of his strength centered into not making a whimpering noise as he got to his feet, Squall stood up, quietly.

Quistis had turned to put some of the paperwork into an 'in' and 'out' tray before heading towards the com center, sitting down with an 'oomph.' She began typing away, the screen reflecting off of her glasses as she quietly began to arrange meetings and schedules and all sorts of agendas, regardless of the warning Squall had given her about Ultimecia's return. Perhaps Quistis didn't believe him?

He made his way over to her, standing behind her to watch her progress for a few silent moments. Squall raised an eyebrow. '_Dinner with Zell._' He reread the appointment she was adding into the system. '_What the hell?_'

Quistis rubbed at her eyes before switching to another day and adding in another appointment. '_Buy a cocktail dress._'

The SeeD commander stared and stared. Surely he was still incapacitated in his bed. He couldn't be reading this properly, could he? His thought process tried to wrap around the idea of a cocktail dress and what reason Quistis would think he would need one. His head pounded again as it tried to come to terms with what he was reading. He couldn't take it any longer.

"What the hell is this?"

The scream penetrated through the thick walls of the office and poured out into the hallway. The cadet that happened to be passing had flashbacks of screams that had left Squall's office on an earlier date. His eyes rounded as he made a mad dash for the stairs. He needed to get off of this floor. He would send a request into his dorm organizer for a different room. Perhaps Squall was on the warpath and death was the only way that people could be punished. He hadn't seen Lady Rinoa since he had seen her disappearing into Squall's office and then yelling at the top of her lungs. Sweat beaded at his forehead as he ran down the stairs, nearly falling on several occasions.

Once the initial shock of Squall surprising her wore off, Quistis was able to gather her thought process enough to form whole sentences.

"I didn't know you were here, Squall. I figured you'd still be…recovering," she muttered, looking down the ridge of her nose at him.

He frowned, "Well I'm here. What are you doing? Is this _my schedule_? I never said I would go to a dinner with Zell. And since when do I have to schedule that type of thing in? I see him every day; I don't need to make an appointment to see him. And a cocktail dress-"

"_Squall_ this is _my_ schedule!" Quistis yelled, sealing her eyes shut in sheer embarrassment.

The commander froze, his icy blue eyes studying her features for a while longer before he realized that he had come to a horrible conclusion. '_Damn hangover_.'

She opened her eyes. He continued to stare at her for a moment longer before clearing his throat and heading back over to his desk. He grabbed a pen and began to scribble his signature on several documents before giving up his attempt to ignore the awkwardness in the air.

Quistis walked over to him and placed her hands on the desk as she leaned down, "So I think we should schedule your emergency appointment with Esthar City for this evening. It will take approximately three hours to arrive."

"Why can't we make it for this afternoon?"

She cocked an eyebrow, "You really want to deal with Laguna in your current condition?"

Squall's lips pressed into a firm line as he tried his best not to lash out at her. So just to spite her he decided against her decision, "No this afternoon is more appropriate. We can't wait any longer. This must be done, battle plans must be made. Call Esthar City and inform them of our arrival."

Quistis rolled her eyes, "Sure thing."

He watched her walk over to the com center again and punch in a few buttons before the operator for the Esthar City palace came up onto the screen.

"Ah Balamb Garden, it is nice to see you. How may Esthar help you today?"

"We need to set up an emergency meeting. The high commander needs to relay information to the president."

"Absolutely Ms. Trepe. When can we expect you to arrive?"

"In nearly three hours."

"Wonderful, we will have escorts awaiting your arrival."

"Thank you."

Quistis spun around in the chair and crossed her arms, staring at Squall as if he were a useless piece of equipment. He growled to himself as he continued to sign his name onto the signature line on a massive stack of documents, "So can I ask you…are you finished wallowing in your own self pity?"

His fingers tightened around the pen. If he hadn't been wearing gloves he was rather sure that his knuckles would be turning white under the pressure he was using.

"_Squall, I'm talking to you."_

"I'm busy."

"Ah but you're aren't deaf, even though you pretend like you are sometimes. Did you hear what I asked you?"

'_One, two, three, four…come on you can make it to ten._' He thought to himself, his blue eyes widening at his attempt to keep his temper in check.

He heard her sniff with agitation as she got to her feet, coming to lean on his desk again. She towered over him, long strands of blonde hair falling just into his realm of vision. Again his temper sparked. '_Five…six…"_

"Squall, seriously. This is childish behavior. Can't you at least even look at me?"

Even though he knew he probably shouldn't, Squall dared to lock his eyes with hers. The smirk on her face made him want to take off her glasses and break them. '_Bet she wouldn't think it was so funny then_.'

"What do you want, Quistis? I need to finish up this paperwork and then I have that meeting with Esthar in three hours. I have things I need to get finished and being ridiculed by my former instructor isn't one of them."

The smirk quickly faded from her face, "Squall, listen. I didn't want to argue and poke fun at you for being so stupid."

He grunted.

"I actually wanted to tell you that…er well that I'm…"

'_Annoying? A know it all? A plague? All of the above?_' He thought to himself, waiting for her to continue.

"Quiiiiiissssstttttyyyyy!"

The two friends jerked their eyes away from each other to find Selphie dancing into the room. She had her arms spread apart, her head lulling back as she spun around in circles. That was nerve wracking enough, but she also had her eyes closed.

Quistis cleared her throat as she stepped away from Squall's desk. She walked over to the continually spinning Selphie and caught her by her shoulders, "Selphie, what are you doing?"

Selphie swayed for a moment after Quistis had steadied her. She opened her eyes and instantly smiled, "I wanted to see if you wanted to kiss all this boring ass paperwork hasta la vista and come grab some brunch with me?"

The blonde sighed, "Selphie I have a lot I need to do here."

Selphie snorted, "Well you always are working. I'm sure that Squall isn't doing anything. Let his grumpy ass do it."

'_Seven! EIGHT!_' Squall held the side of his face in his hand. He was rather sure he could feel the vein in his head pulsating at an unforgiving rate. If he stayed this upset or continued to have people saying things about him like this he was rather sure his head would blow clean off of his body.

Quistis stared at Selphie as if she had just committed a sin against a god of some sort. Perhaps it was because said god was currently one of the occupants of the room that Selphie had so blissfully not taken time to notice.

"Um Selphie-"

"I mean he's been shut up in his room for a week now. When is he going to stop being a baby and come out and play? Zell told Irvine that he hasn't even seen Squall training at night. He's going to get all flabby."

Trepe was rather thankful that her eyes were secured to her skull because she was staring so widely at the brunette that they would have rolled out and onto the floor had they not been.

"Selphie, first of all, Zell only trains in the morning and the late evenings. That leaves plenty of time in between for Squall to go train. Secondly-"

She didn't have time to continue correcting Selphie's disdain of their leader. Selphie raised an eyebrow at Quistis, "What are you staring at? Oh no is the office haunted? Ooooooh, scary one Quisty," Selphie laughed, "Stop trying to scare me."

"Nine. **Ten**."

The look on Selphie's face? Priceless. She spun around, knocking straight into Squall's chest. The feisty girl swallowed in vain to remove the round object that had seemed to form in her throat upon hearing that someone else was in the room. Looking into the eyes of the devil wasn't the best idea but she couldn't help herself. "S-S-Squall!"

"I prefer Grumpy-Ass."

Her face lost all of its color, her lower lip trembling in fear, "You…you heard that?"

"I've been here the entire time. I was here before Quistis."

Selphie glanced at Quistis to earn a curt nod from her. She placed a hand to her chest to try and console her heart into a slower beating process, "Well er…I didn't mean anything by it, Squall."

"No I think you did. You seemed adamant about bitching about me when you didn't think I was here, so now why don't you just cut out the middle man and say it directly to my face?"

'_Irvine…_' Selphie silently called out to him.

Squall raised an eyebrow, walking away from her only slightly. His hands began to fist at his side, his eyes quivering in their place, "You know what? I'm tired of always having to explain myself."

"Squall, please…she didn't mean anything by it-"

"NO!" Squall snapped, "Listen because I'm only going to say this one time. You can transfer the message to all the others who like to whisper when I'm not around. I have a reason for sending Rinoa away. I have a reason for everything I do. Just because I'm not like you or Selphie or Zell or Irvine or who the hell ever doesn't mean that I don't have feelings too. As a matter of fact, it probably bothers me more because I don't talk about it. You get to vent your frustrations but I keep mine silent. I sent Rinoa away for her own protection, not for any other reason. If I make that decision, as Commander of SeeD and Garden, you are complied to follow my orders and never second guess them. And as far as me never doing any work, I'm _constantly_ doing something, Selphie. Even if you don't think that I am, I am. So how about everyone just shuts their damn mouths and try following me without causing a disturbance for once!"

Once he had finished Squall was breathing so heavily that Quistis was under the impression that they would have to call the doctor to come and check on him.

He grumbled loudly to himself as he grabbed some things off of his desk and headed for the door, "Where are you going?" The two women asked in unified, meek voices.

"The dorms. I need to speak with Johnson. Go about your rounds. We'll be arriving in Esthar City in three hours. Make yourselves useful and prepare the Garden for docking procedures."

Selphie side-glanced at Quistis, "Why didn't you tell me he was in here?"

"I was trying to interject but you just kept going."

The brunette sighed, scratching at the back of her head, "Well…there goes my promotion."

Quistis couldn't even muster up enough gusto to laugh.

************

After several more attempts to get her to leave her cell, Rinoa finally took Cadet Chad up on his offer to walk the decks of the White SeeD Ship.

It was a nice change in scenery. And Rinoa was glad she had accepted this tour because who knew how long she was going to be kept here? Who was to say that the fighting hadn't already been fought and ended? Had they won? Or were they all slaves to Ultimicia and were just unaware of their enslavement?

The former sorceress leaned onto the railings of the ship, letting the wind whip through her hair, breathing new life into her lungs. Chad laughed at how much she seemed to be enjoying this, "So what do you think? Do you like it?"

Rinoa nodded eagerly, "It's truly beautiful."

Chad grinned, "I hear ya."

Rinoa caught sight of him blushing and couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy. He was trying to be a complete gentleman but he was also getting closer to her than she or he had anticipated.

"We're going to dock for a little while. We must gather more supplies. I'm afraid while we are docked that you must be confined into your cell."

She frowned, "You treat me as if I'm a prisoner and not a guest."

Chad smirked, "Well if the guest wouldn't run away then we wouldn't have to treat them as a prisoner."

She laughed, "I suppose you're right."

"So tell me…what was life like on Balamb Garden? Lots of interesting stuff?"

She nodded, "Yeah, the Garden Festival is about to commence in like a week or so."

"I take it that you wanted to go?"

Rinoa blushed, "That obvious am I?"

He shrugged, "Well you got all dreamy lookin'. Had someone you were taking with you?"

A distorted image of Squall involuntarily flashed through her mind. She cast her eyes down to stare at the sea and simply gave him a curt nod.

Chad hesitated for a moment before continuing on with the conversation, "Well he's missing out."

She smiled meekly, trying to busy herself with the patterns the water was casting as it struck against the side of the ship and then recoiled back into the large body of the sea.

Her escort coughed. Slowly she shifted her eyes to find him leaning onto the railing beside her, staring off into the distance, "You know…tomorrow night we're having a party type deal going on as well. Would you like to go with me?"

She would have said no. She should have said no but the temptation to pass up a party was far too great for her to just ignore, "I'll go."

He turned and beamed at her with the brightest of smiles, "Really?"

Rinoa shrugged, "Sure. Who doesn't love a good party?"

Chad laughed, "Agreed. Just so you know…I can't dance."

She spun around, her dark eyes meeting his viridian ones, "What did you say?"

Chad's cheeks began to burn red, "I can't…um, dance. You would figure with two older sisters that I would be the pro at how to dance but sadly no. I joined SeeD when I was young and so the concept of dancing hasn't really been my focus. So perhaps you can teach me?"

Rinoa's heart sank. The dance. _Their dance_. He had complained about not knowing how to dance. They had even bumped into several people during their sloppy movements until he finally caught on. He had always been quick to adjust to his situation. Dancing had not been any different. "I can teach you," she whispered. She closed her eyes, paying her full attention as the dance unfolded from her memory banks and played before her.

He had been so quiet and stand-offish. He had just been asking for it. And besides, he had been the best looking guy at the ball. Even if he didn't think so. And the scar that was cut between his eyes wasn't something she typically seen, but she didn't mind it. Actually it had seemed to suit him. And the look on his face when she had asked him to dance-

Rinoa couldn't help but laugh aloud, a serene look on her face. Chad smirked, "What's so funny?"

Immediately she was brought back down to the planet, unable to finish her memory or Squall's appearance for that matter. She hadn't been able to complete his memory perfectly since she had been sent here. It was maddening…and heartbreaking all at the same time.

"Oh just thinkin' about you tryin' to dance. I bet you'll be a natural."

Chad smirked, "Yeah whatever, you think I'm going to bust my ass. Well I refuse. I will conquer this dance."

Rinoa nodded, "I'm sure you will. Um…I'm feeling a little sick. Can I go back to my cell now?"

He shrugged, "Absolutely. You did take on a pale color. C'mon, I'll take you back."

************

Squall ran at his full speed around the training facility, trying his best to sweat off his hangover and his anger. He came to a grudging halt when the timer for his session ended. He had set it just before beginning his training. It left him enough time to shower before their arrival to Esthar City. He had come here after his conversation with Jeremiah Johnson. The former Magic Military comrade had offered to accompany Squall to his meeting with the president. The Commander had accepted, taking note that Jeremiah's accounts would be extremely helpful in concocting a battle strategy.

A fiend moved from the corner of his eye. His hand tightened around the hilt of his gunblade. He growled as he raised it above his head and spun around, slashing downwards with his weapon of choice.

"YIKES!"

Metal hit metal. Squall came face to face with Irvine. He frowned. Just the person he felt like dealing with. He rolled his eyes as he dislodged his gunblade from Irvine's sniper rifle, "Damn Squall, you about took my head off!"

"Well I didn't."

Irvine laughed, "Well you about did. You're lucky I have reflexes like a cat."

Squall snorted, "I need to go shower."

"Well wait dude, I haven't seen you in a week or so. How have you been? Are you doing alright?"

Irvine's commander frowned, "It doesn't matter how I've been. I have a Garden to run."

Irvine raised an eyebrow, "It does so matter how you've been. You think that because you have all this responsibility that you don't deserve to talk to someone about how you feel, well I have news for you, you do."

Squall hesitated. The sniper took this as his chance, "I mean ever since you sent Rinoa to board with the White SeeD ship you haven't been acting the same. I mean not that you were always a bucket full of sunshine but at least when she was around you would attempt to be less…annoyed."

The R-word again. "Well…I have my reasons for sending her away."

"Ultimicia right? You don't want her possessing her…well question, wouldn't she be more open for attack without us to protect her?"

Squall stared at him, "What?"

"Well I mean…if what you're really afraid of is Ultimicia possessing Rinoa then sending her away wasn't the answer. She's more vulnerable away from us. But if it's another reason then I would like to know what it is."

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Irvine. How many times do I have to tell everyone that?!" Squall hissed.

Irvine sighed, "Squall, you don't _have _to explain anything to me. I'll do whatever you command. I was just _asking_ you to explain your reasoning to me."

Squall stared at Irvine for a while longer, "It's complicated."

Irvine grinned as Squall stalked off, "That's a start!"

************

After he had showered and left the Garden, Squall and Jeremiah walked into the city of Esthar and met with their escorts.

"Ah, Mr. Leonhart. It has been far too long. I'm sure the president will be thrilled to see you again," one of the female escorts told him, smiling oddly at him.

Squall groaned but nodded as he and Jeremiah followed them to the palace. Jeremiah glanced at Squall, smirking, "Why did you get so annoyed about that?"

"You'll see…"

* * *

**Alright so there was Chapter 13. Isn't Squall just a bucket of sunshine? Haha. I'll have chapter 14 up tomorrow I believe. Review and tell me how it went over for ya. =)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	14. Familiar Faces

**Disclaimer: Same!**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's Note: Ooooh dancing.**

* * *

"_Why is it that hate comes out so easily, yet…love? It gets trapped inside." – _Unknown

"_If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us."- _Hermann Hesse

"_The person that can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed." –_Bennett Cerf

_************_

Squall grew rigid the closer they drew to the door that separated them from the occupants inside. He knew what was on the other side of the door. And it wasn't that he didn't like what was on the other side of the door; he just knew what would happen. And embracing wasn't exactly what Squall excelled in.

Jeremiah waited patiently, letting Squall come to terms with his mental demons. '_Good guy. I'll have to remember that._' Squall thought to himself before shoving the door in, watching as the jewels that littered the frame sparkled with the light from inside.

"SQUALL! MY BOY! It has been far too long since I have seen your face!"

The former Magic Military lieutenant grinned from ear to ear as he caught sight of a long haired man pull Squall into a tense hug. The giver of the hug seemed blissfully unaware by Squall's callousness.

The bouncy middle-aged man pulled away but kept his hands secure on Squall's shoulders as he tried to get a good look at him, "You're awfully thin. Are you eating right?"

Jeremiah had to stifle a round of laughter as Squall's face turned a crimson red, his brown hair falling in front of his face as he bowed his head. "I'm eating."

The other man snorted, "Well apparently they don't know how to cook because you've lost quite a bit of weight since I last laid eyes upon you."

The other two men inside the room were snickering towards Squall, prodding each other in the ribs. Jeremiah couldn't help but instantly feel welcome. He walked inside with the help of his crutches, plopping down into an overly large couch that seemed to suck him down into its depths.

"So my com technician told me that you needed to have an emergency meeting with me and my council. Is this true, my boy?"

"Yes Mr. President."

This earned a frown from the other man. Squall shifted uneasily. "It's Laguna or Dad, Squall."

Jeremiah's eyes rounded. '_Dad?!_'

"It was indeed an emergency, Mr. President-"

Laguna cocked an eyebrow, crossing his arms defiantly as he waited for Squall to correct himself. Squall sighed. Apparently his stubbornness was inherited from this man, Jeremiah noted.

"-Dad."

The other two men snickered again. Laguna couldn't help but grin at them both widely, his face displaying his clear enjoyment of seeing Squall again. So Jeremiah wasn't the only one who thought that Squall was incredibly too serious for such a young man.

"You never did contact us about what you discovered in Centura Region. Was there nothing to report?" The thin man from the back of the room asked, stepping forward.

Squall hesitated.

Laguna glanced at his son and then back to the other two occupants in the room, "Oh come off it, Kiros. He was probably busy chasing around Rinoa. How is that lass of yours, son?" He asked, elbowing Squall playfully.

The look that came over Squall's face was obvious. The girl in blue was definitely not a subject to be touched. Laguna didn't seem to notice or care. "Well?"

"She's…I'm sure she is well."

The president of Esthar stared blankly at his son, "What do you mean '_you're sure she's well_'?"

"She was sent to live with the occupants of the White SeeD ship for the time being."

Laguna Loire coughed, "So why aren't you with her?"

"I'm _trying_ to _protect_ her!" Squall shot back, irritation starting to surface in his tone.

"What are you protecting her from?"

"Ultimicia has returned."

The room fell silent as the weight of Squall's words settled upon everyone's shoulders. And then…

Squall's father snorted, "Well that's kind of a stupid way to protect someone. You protect someone by being with them, not by sending them away to cower in fear of what could happen. Minus five points for being an insensitive jerk, Squall."

If it were only possible for a person's face to look like a thermometer when it was as hot as it could possibly get, it would have happened to Squall right then.

"What do you mean? I'm keeping her away from Ultimicia!"

Laguna rolled his eyes, bending down to rub at his lower leg, grimacing slightly, "Well I think that Ultimicia is intelligent enough to know that you don't want her getting a hold of your most prized possession. So what would you think if you were in her shoes?"

Squall said nothing.

His father winked, clicking his fingers together in that 'Aha! Moment'. "That's what I thought. Poor judgment on your part, my boy. I really need to have a talk with you on how to deal with girls. But that's alright, continue on. Did you realize her return during your investigation on Centura Region?"

************

Selphie hummed to herself as she absentmindedly headed towards the Quad to continue preparing it for the Garden Festival.

"You seem to be distracted."

The voice tore through her like a cold wind. She looked over towards the stage to find Irvine sitting off to the side, his cowboy hat tilted ever so slightly. She wanted to scream for joy and run over and tackle him. But she also wanted to remain dignified. So she went for both of them.

She walked over to stand in front of him calmly, before letting out a slight squeal of joy. She leapt towards him and tackled him to the floor of the stage, planting quick kisses about his face before he pushed her away, laughing.

"I would like to be able to breathe, Selphs. Sheesh."

She giggled slightly before settling into a sitting position beside him. She continued to watch him as he readjusted his hat and then turned his attention back to her, "Where have you been?"

"Well I went to go grab Quisty for some brunch and I had a bit of a problem."

Irvine waited.

She sighed, "I was saying things I probably shouldn't about Squall and it turns out he was in the room and heard everything I said."

Her significant other groaned as if he were in pain, "Are you kidding me? No wonder he doesn't want to open up to anyone with people like you running around!"

Selphie rolled her eyes, "Well I mean c'mon, who thought he would be in there? He's been in hiding for over a week and all of a sudden he decides to start making a reappearance?"

"Well what did you expect him to do? Send letters that he intended to start going about life as normal again?"

Again she rolled her eyes, "Whatever Irvy. It was an accident alright? Well after he stormed out me and Quisty had brunch and then I hit up my rounds and prepared the Garden for docking procedures via a strict order from our friendly commander."

The sniper smirked, "Well I suppose that's what you get for bad mouthing Squall. He had a right to retaliate."

She frowned, "There you go worshipping him again."

Irvine's eyes bugged out at her comment, "Did we not just discuss this last night? I don't _worship_ Squall, I _admire_ him."

"Same thing."

Irvine's hands shook as irritation boiled through his veins, "Selphie…please can we talk about something else? I don't feel like fighting anymore, especially over Squall."

The brunette glanced up to see him genuinally panged over the current progression of their conversation. He was even adorable when his eyes were twitching, "Sure thing, Irvy. So how are things coming along here?"

He nodded to the stage and then towards the other decorations that were slowly being put into place, "Well the stage was finished today. We need to bring in all of the instruments and tables and all the decorations for that, but as far as the lights for the trees and spotlights, they still need to be assembled and distributed."

Selphie grinned, "Awesome. We'll have this place finished on schedule and it'll look better this year than it ever has."

Irvine laughed, "You're getting all starry eyed, Selphs."

Her shoulders nudged him playfully, "You should be used to it, Irvy."

His cheeks tinted red. Irvine chuckled nervously as he diverted his eyes away from her, "Yeah…"

'_ADORABLE! HUMBLE TOO?!'_ His nunchaku expert slid her arms around his neck, pulling him as close to her as possible. "Irvine don't be shy."

"Well I don't know how you're supposed to act afterwards. Never gotten there."

She giggled slightly, nuzzling her face into his neck, "Irvy, you just act the same but only better."

He wanted to whimper. Could it be possible to be anymore confused than he already was? Sure it had been great, more than he had hoped for, but what to do now? They had seen and been with each other in a way unlike any other. He was supposed to pretend like it never happened and just go about life like normal? Impossible! Certain ways she held her mouth or batted her eyelashes or touched his skin made him want to decapitate her…and not in the bad way.

"I don't understand," he finally admitted.

Selphie kissed his cheek before pulling away slightly, "It's something that you're supposed to grow from. Especially if you really have feelings for someone, that's the ultimate form of expressing those feelings. It's a little awkward after your first time because you're not sure if you did it right-"

"Exactly."

She smirked, a hand grabbing his chin to force him to lock eyes with her, "Well you don't need to worry about that. You were phenomenal."

Again he blushed, "Of course you're going to say that, you don't want to hurt my ego."

Selphie smirked, "The way you act it's almost like you don't have an ego, Irvine."

He dared to throw her a devious grin, "Well I suppose-"

She raised an eyebrow, "Suppose what?"

"I suppose I could practice until I get an ego."

Did it just get it hot out here or was it just her? Her tongue automatically snaked out to moisten her lips, "When you say practice-"

"I mean do it until I know I'm the best."

"And when does said 'practice' begin?"

His eyes hinted with mischief as he grabbed her underneath her rear securely before jumping down. Her hands tightened around his neck as he carried her out of the Quad, "You don't really have to schedule a practice, it's just whenever you feel like it," he told her.

"I think I like practice," she told him, grinning wickedly.

************

Oh how he wished something would crash through the ceiling and kill him on the spot. This meeting was absolutely unbearable. Once Laguna got to talking there was no stopping him, now happened to be one of those moments. Nearly all the proper information had been relayed and most of the battle plans set, but still Squall was stuck inside this office with the three stooges and seemingly a fourth one. He glanced over at Jeremiah who seemed to thoroughly enjoy the pointless conversation commencing. '_And he seemed like an alright guy-'_

"So I still try to eat lots of bananas but still I have cramps in my legs like crazy. I started getting them I was younger, close to Squall's age, maybe a year or so older. Do you get cramps too, Squall? I bet you will if you don't yet. You got most of your mother's appearance but you have some of my traits too so I wouldn't be surprised if chronic muscle spasms happened to be one of them."

Jeremiah, Ward, and Kiros sniggered.

Squall gritted his teeth together in an attempt not to yell at the top of his lungs. He didn't deserve a medal for defeating Ultimicia before, he needed one for this. This was far worse.

"Oh and they mostly come on whenever I talk to a really hot chick. I got it whenever I talked to Julia. Oh guys, remember her? Damn she was beautiful. Got married to that Caraway character. Poor girl. Julia Heartilly," Laguna got a humorous look on his face, "Remember you guys left me there, leg spasm and all, to go up to her hotel room?"

Laguna's two friends laughed. "Thought you might get lucky, but instead you talked about her music," Kiros said through laughter.

Laguna snorted, "Well I'm a gentleman is all. I wasn't about to take advantage on a lady the first time I had a chance to talk to her."

"Yeah a gentleman. Whatever. You were always undressing her with your eyes while you watched her perform. I don't know why you found it so difficult to do with your hands when you had the chance."

The president growled. He held up a hand and closed it to silence Kiros, "Shutty."

Again the other three men snickered. A misty look took form in Laguna's eyes as a peaceful grin came over his face, "Yeah well…it was worth it. She wasn't the one I was s'posed to be with anyways."

Their laughter began to die down, understanding coming onto their faces. "Everything works out the way it does for a reason. I met Raine and Ellone, and unbeknownst to me I had a son, Squall…my life changed for the better. Your mom picked a good name by the way…Squall, a storm, a tempest, a force to be reckoned with. Hell yeah!"

"You guys should have seen her! The way she looked that night…" His voice began to tremble until he cried out in pain and reached down to his lower leg, "CRAMP!"

Again laughter took hold of the room. Squall sighed, "Are we finished here?"

"Oh Squall, my boy, you were so quiet. I apologize. I'm sure you're bored outta yer mind."

"I just need to return to my Garden to tell everyone what it is we are to do."

"Well let's recap really quickly that way you don't go back and tell them about your mother and my fantasies instead of the battle strategy," Laguna teased, coming up to Squall and ruffling his hair playfully.

The Commander mumbled under his breath as he attempted to return his hair to its previous state. Laguna draped an arm lazily about Squall's shoulders, "Alright so Esthar City will assist in whatever it is that you need. We will let you take as many soldiers as needed. Just leave some for the city incase it's infiltrated. The Magic Military has not indicated any changes in the roles of their leaders yet, but that doesn't mean anything. Ultimicia could be keeping things quiet to keep us on our toes. Now as far as attacking Ultimicia, we will use a special ops form of SeeD to deal with her head on."

'_Wonder who that is?_' Squall thought sarcastically.

"And of course it will be you and your original SeeD unit, son," Laguna said, winking at him as if he had read his mind. Squall couldn't help but let a slight upturn of his lips form onto his face.

Laguna blinked, his face instantly brightening. His hand squeezed Squall's upper arm. He moved his mouth to whisper in his ear, "I won't tell anyone but I'm pretty sure I just seen a smile."

Squall's mouth quickly fell back down into a straight line. Laguna laughed, his voice sounding like bells, "I thought so," he whispered again before returning back to his previous position.

"Now Ultimicia will have the Magic Military at her disposal and so the rest of the branch of SeeD must be ready to defend and/or attack at any given moment. There must be several units of SeeD stationed on each continent, ready for action. We will all be using the same com frequency that way all orders may be given in one fell swoop. Squall, you are to give the universal orders until you and your unit are sent on your mission. In your absence another will be giving the orders."

Squall raised an eyebrow out of pure curiousity, "Who?"

Laguna nodded to Ward, "Hey Wardy, go get our guest would you?"

Ward made a grunting noise and disappeared from the room.

"Annnnyways, all supplies will be donated to SeeD from Esthar and any city that wishes to contribute. Now Squall," Laguna said, making the conversation into a two way instead of a group discussion, "You are going to be in charge of all of SeeD…you are their president sort of say."

"Isn't there someone else that can do it?" Squall hissed.

Laguna tapped a finger to his lower lip as if he were thoroughly thinking over Squall's question, "Let me think…who else has credentials of having defeated several sorceress' and corrupt political parties? Hrm…oh yeah, no one. Sorry, you're the Head Commander of SeeD. Plus-" He continued, placing his mouth close to his ear again for another whispering session, "the Head Commander of SeeD will always be in close contact with the President of Esthar City. I sense father and son dinner dates in the near future!"

Squall wanted to shoot himself in the face. Really, right through the temple, "Yes sir."

His father squeezed his shoulder again.

"Yes…dad."

Again his father beamed at him and turned back to the others once he heard Ward return, "Ah, Ward, thank you. Squall, this will be the person to give the orders for SeeD while your unit is dispatched. Your understudy, if you will."

Squall's heart rate intensified upon meeting a familiar pair of eyes, and a familiar scar that matched his own adorning the understudy's face. "Seifer."

Laguna grinned, "Seifer told me about your history together, and seeing as he's pretty experienced in combat as well I see no better man to take control once you are dispatched."

Squall's mouth uncharacteristically fell open, "Are you being serious? He was the knight to the world's most feared and hated Sorceress. What makes you think he won't use his power to turn all of SeeD upon our unit and help Ultimicia achieve our surmise?"

Seifer crossed his arms, glaring at Squall, "Um…like…I'm not a knight anymore, yo."

Squall crossed the distance between them. The two former classmates glowered at one another for the longest of times, "That doesn't mean anything. You can't stand to be on the same side as me. I'm fighting for SeeD, for the planet. Your obvious loyalties will lie with the sorceress."

Seifer growled at him, "Listen because I'm only going to say this once. A lot has changed since the last time I talked to you. I completely renounce the old ways. I want to move on with my life. I'm here to start that life over again. So please…"

'_PLEASE? Did Seifer just say pleas? Laguna had to have brain washed him or drugged him…something!_' Squall continued to glare at him.

"Can I just ask forgiveness and help you with your cause?"

Laguna walked over and clamped a hand on Squall's shoulder, "Listen to him, son. He's been a complete angel since he's been here. And this guy can really fight. Who better to place commands while you're out fighting?"

It was true. Seifer was greatly skilled in combat and making orders but that wasn't the issue Squall had a problem with. The trust issue was about to consume him.

Seifer held out his hand and waited for Squall to shake it, "I'm sorry for all that I've done, from the depths of my soul, and I beg you for another chance, a new beginning. Comrades?"

Laguna grinned at his son, almost as if begging him with his eyes to understand. Squall let out a loud growl of anger but snatched up Seifer's hand, giving it a shake. "Fine, but don't make me regret this because if you do, I'm _personally_ going to _destroy_ you."

A challenging grin came onto Seifer's face, "Understood, High Commander."

Laguna coughed in an attempt to break the silence, "Soooo…we need to change the frequencies of all SeeD bases to that of the universal com link. I will be announcing the newly formed and appointed position of High Commander."

The two former enemies continued to size one another up before Seifer broke the silence first, "So, you still friends with chicken wuss?"

* * *

**Alright so there was 14. Dun dun dun! Poor Zell…flashbacks. Teehee. Well review. Chapter 15 up either later today or tomorrow. I'm on an updating roll, lol.**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	15. Transmissions

**Disclaimer: Definitely not owned by me…oh how I wish it was.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's note: Laguna=love.**

* * *

"_Every morning I wish it were night again,  
for it is only at night and in the depth of my dreams that I can feel you,  
and you still belong to me."_ - Unknown

"_I hate the stars because I look at the same ones as you do, without you." – _Unknown

_************_

Jeremiah had elected to stay behind with Laguna and his following. And of course Laguna had been more than thrilled, "Another drinking buddy!" He announced to Ward and Kiros, fisting his hand and holding it into the air as if he had just conquered the world.

With Seifer at his side, as much as he hated it, Squall left Esthar City and returned to Garden.

The halls were rather empty for being a weekend. Usually the students and cadets were littering the hallways. It was almost as if they knew that Squall was returning and that being in his way wasn't the best of decisions.

"Wow this place hasn't changed a bit."

Even his voice irked him. Squall sighed, "Why change something when it works fine the way it is?"

"Ah don't fix what isn't broken? I see you haven't changed either."

Last time he had counted to ten it had failed miserably…perhaps a second attempt would result better? He ignored the notion and just made a slight gurgling noise in his throat.

Seifer knew Squall well enough to know that noise. He was annoyed. A dark expression fell over his face. After all this time he still had what it took to shake Squall to the core, however big or small his actions may be. "Calm down, I was just making an observation."

"Yeah," Squall stated simply, keeping his eyes directed ahead. It was as if the High Commander was afraid to look at him. That was partially true. It was more that Squall was afraid of looking directly at him without punching him square in the nose. The image of blood falling from Seifer's face made him sneer.

"Well that's better than no reaction at all," Seifer muttered, catching a glimpse of Squall's dark smile.

"Whatever."

"You really haven't changed," Seifer noted upon hearing Squall's familiar phrase…word, rather.

Suddenly the familiar bells of the speakers flooded the Garden, causing Squall and Seifer to stop their procession.

"High Commander Squall Leonhart, if you have returned to Garden you are needed in the office. That is all."

"Sounds like Quisty Trepe."

Squall merely nodded, returning to his progress towards the office. Seifer followed him in stride, remaining silent for a while.

"Look dude, I know there's a lot of history between us but I swear I'm different. I'm gonna prove it to ya, I promise you that."

'_Promises are always meant to be broken_.' Squall thought pessimistically, as always.

"Smells like hot dogs here."

'Well I know where Zell's at.' "Yeah it's the Garden café specialty, remember?"

Seifer's brow creased in thought for a moment before his fingers clicked together in remembrance, "Hell yeah I remember. That was like chicken shit's hang out."

"Still is," Squall mumbled, pressing the button for the third level once they had reached the elevator. After a few seconds of waiting, the elevator finally arrived and opened for Squall and Seifer to enter.

Again they waited in silence and then the doors reopened, revealing the familiar layout of the office. "Never been up here…" Seifer informed Squall, taking his step behind the High Commander as they exited the elevator and made their way through the large door. It was bright. Painfully bright actually.

Seifer shielded his eyes for a moment before lower his arm.

"Ah Squall! Or shall I call you High Commander?" Came a teasing tone.

Squall grunted, "Cut it out. What's the problem?"

"President Laguna has just sent a private transmission asking you to give the first order. An official decree has been dispatched to all gardens to inform them of your new position and the new com frequency to use. They are also being informed of Ultimicia's return. With that being said, all you need to do is pass the first order. All the hard work has been taken care of for you, thanks to Laguna and his entourage."

"Yeah…" The High Commander breathed, stepping towards the com center, "Oh, by the way Quistis. I have someone with me that is to take my place when our special ops team engages Ultimicia in battle. He should look vaguely familiar to you."

Quistis slowly turned around, a little unsure if the look on Squall's face meant whether or not she would like the understudy.

"Hey teach," Seifer greeted her, grinning arrogantly at her.

Quistis stared at him, her eyes consuming most of her face, "S-Seifer?! But how? Who approved of this?!"

Squall shifted his weight from foot to foot, staring down at the controls of the com center, "Laguna."

Quistis spun back around, rushing to Squall's side. Her blonde hair fell about her face wildly as she continued to pant over her new found discovery, "But why? How do we know that he'll be loyal to us? He was a knight! And not just any knight, but a knight to an evil sorceress. Isn't he obligated to always serve her?"

Squall blinked lazily, exhaling, "How should I know?"

The blonde's mouth began to shake with anger? Surprise? Apprehension? Squall couldn't tell, but whatever it was, it was greatly affecting her, "How should you know? You are Rinoa's knight for cryin' out loud or have you forgotten that already?"

"Hey speakin' of Rin, where is she? Maybe we could catch up. You still have your filthy mitts wrapped around her?" Seifer asked Squall. The High Commander hadn't moved. He was afraid that if he did he might end up throwing Quistis to the floor, and attacking a woman, no matter how justified it may be, was against his morals.

"She's not here."

Seifer raised an eyebrow, "Well then where the hell is she? I'm not going to try and steal your girl away, Leonhart. I just want to talk with her."

"She's seriously not here. Squall sent her away," Quistis informed him, her voice still cold whenever she was talking to him.

Seifer paused, "So…you went through all of that trouble of releasing her and helping the world get rid of Ultimicia the first time to just send her away like a piece of mail? What the hell?"

Squall's vein at the side of his head pounded again, reminding him of the hangover headache that still resided in his head. "I'm doing what's right."

"But Squall this is ludicrous! You know you shouldn't have done this. I don't want to continue to harp on you but seriously. You know the others and I were talking and-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Squall bellowed, slamming his fist down hard on the com center desk.

"I've had quite enough of listening to you ridicule me for what I did to Rinoa. I did it for her own good, not mine. Not Garden's. Not Laguna's. Not the planet's. FOR RINOA. And as long as I feel like I'm doing the right thing then you should all accept my decision and move on. Now, if I hear anymore whispers or disagreements with my order for Rinoa Heartilly then I will remove you from SeeD and the Garden. Do I make myself clear?"

Quistis looked as if she had just been slapped across the face. She might as well have been. Total embarrassment filled her body, "Yes…sir, High Commander, sir."

"Good. Now. Get. The. FUCK. OUT!"

Seifer's face cracked into a wide, clearly astonished, grin at Squall's explosion.

Quistis gave him a quick SeeD salute before grabbing Seifer's jacket, though typically the thought of touching Seifer made her skin crawl, pulling him along with her. Squall slumped over the desk, his head lulling downwards.

Seifer was all smiles as they hurried into the elevator, "Holy shit, Quisty. I think I like this version of Squall."

************

Quistis and Seifer reached the main floor moments later. Quistis hurried out, Seifer, however, took his sweet time in exiting the elevator.

"Wow whenever Squall bitches everyone runs away. You definitely haven't changed, Quisty Trepe. You still longing for that emo bastard?"

She shot him a death stare, adjusting her glasses and straightening her uniform, "You know you could at least try to act like you're different."

"I am different. Just because I'm different doesn't mean I talk any other way. My spirit is different, not my speech."

She rolled her eyes, glancing around to find that the halls were still rather unoccupied, "Well I guess everyone is in the cafeteria eating their dinner. Shall we grab some dinner and then I will escort you to the dormitories and we can settle you in?"

Seifer snorted, "Sure, let's get back into the swing of things, I s'pose."

"Where are Fuijin and Rajin?" Quistis asked as they made their way towards the café.

"They were fine last time I talked to them."

"Well last time I checked they were your flunkies. Why aren't they stuck up your hind quarters like usual?"

He laughed, "Because they got stuck up each other's hind quarters, if ya feel me."

She couldn't help but chuckle, "I kinda figured those two together."

Quistis glanced over at him, her brows knitting together as she tried to size up this Seifer. He was still Seifer but then again, he wasn't. He was someone completely different. He looked like him, sounded like him, and still had an attitude problem like him but his views and they way he reacted to things weren't like he used to be at all. Perhaps he really had changed for the better. No matter, they would have to trust him with their lives when the time came anyways, so it was best to just support the decision and go about life as if today was their last days.

With that final thought lingering in her mind, Quistis and Seifer walked into the café to find it completely packed. Seifer took a quick glance around at all the students that had stopped mid-meal to whisper and stare at him. He even heard a couple: '_Oh my gosh, it's Seifer! He's back!_' He couldn't help but feel pride that his name had preceded him.

"C'mon, let's get something to eat. We can talk things through about the mission and all the essentials," Quistis told him, her eyes flicking over every head, looking for one in particular.

"Who you keepin' an eye out for?"

For the strangest of reasons, anger filled her, "It doesn't matter who I'm looking for, Seifer."

He stared at her, rolling his eyes as he turned back to the line, "Whatever, I just thought I might be able to help you find them."

She mentally abused herself. '_He was only asking so he could help! Don't get so defensive, Quistis Trepe!'_

"Seifer I didn't mean to snap I just-"

"_Hiya Quisty_. Finally caved in and decided to try the hot dogs huh? Bout time, I knew I'd convert you sooner or later."

She turned around to find Zell grinning at her. He was dressed in a gray hoodie; a pair of baggy pants and of course his favorite sneakers. His hands were completely bare and even his hair seemed less erect. He was…

"_**Perfect,**_" Quistis whispered aloud.

"What?" Zell asked her, coming to stand next to her, "I just got back from a trip in to Esthar. Shhh, don't tell Squall. I value my life too much for him to ever find out."

Quistis glared at him, "Well why did you sneak out if you valued your life so much?"

Even the tattoo on his face seemed to be smiling, "Slots."

"Slots?!"

"Yeah like slot machines? Last time we were here I didn't really get a chance to enjoy the city like it was supposed to be enjoyed so I decided to sneak out and check it out for myself. I won 1,200 gil."

Her face instantly lightened, a small smile forming onto her face, "Zell, what am I going to do with you? You know you shouldn't have told me all of that. I am the High Commander's personal assistant."

Zell blinked, "High Commander?"

She sighed, "Well if you had been on board you would have heard the announcement President Laguna Loire made earlier. All SeeD bases are to use the same com frequency. We are to deploy to assigned locations and prepare for battle. All supplies will be donated by Esthar and volunteer cities. Once the cadets and students have been properly trained in battle the mission will commence. A special ops force will be the first wave to weaken or possibly even kill the sorceress."

"Who are the special ops?" He asked, adjusting his hoodie ever so slightly.

She raised an eyebrow playfully, her arms crossing across her chest automatically, "Who do you suspect, Zell?"

He sighed, "You mean we gotta do all this shit again? I'm still fuckin' wore out from the last time."

Quistis reached out and touched his shoulder. Immediately she recoiled her hand. Zell watched with interest as her face blushed, "Don't worry; there's nothing to be scared about."

Zell frowned. He snapped into a spread leg position, one hand on his hip and the other poking a thumb into his chest, "I'm not scared. Bring that crazy bitch on…._again_!"

The man ahead of them turned around, letting out a lethargic sigh, "Whatever, I bet you're scared shitless, chicken wuss."

Sweat immediately formed on Zell's brow, his eyes and lips twitching as he recognized the gloating glare of Seifer.

"Y-you?! What are you doing here? What are you doing here with _**Quisty**_?"

The way he had said her name had been so possessive that the former instructor couldn't help but feel like, for the briefest of moments, that she belonged to him. She could only smile to herself.

"Quisty brought me here, chicken wuss. I'm the understudy for Squall. I'll be giving the commands for all the gardens while your SeeD unit is confronting the sorceress."

Zell looked from Quistis to Seifer repeatedly, "W-w-what?! Who the hell gave that order? I'm going to have a bone to pick with them."

"You can either take that up with Laguna or Squall, which I wouldn't bitch to either of them. With Squall you're going to get your ass beat senseless, and if you take it up with Laguna, then Squall will find out you second guessed his father's decision and you'll still get your ass beat senseless. So just let it go, twitch."

Zell stomped one of his feet, taking on the look of a child throwing a tantrum, "I sooooo do NOT twitch. Stop calling me names, Seifer."

Seifer cackled, throwing his head back in utter amusement, "You're such a bitch, Dincht. You haven't changed a bit."

"Yeah well you haven't either. You're still a fuckin' prick."

Seifer stopped laughing immediately. He returned his head back to its upright position, his eyes locking with Zell's, "Wanna say that again, Dincht? Remember, your beloved Squall isn't here to keep me from wiping the floor with your ass."

Zell's mouth snapped shut instantly, his eyes quivering with his need to retaliate but his mind screaming at him to stay quiet. Quistis couldn't help but feel pity for him. Seifer had always been a problem for Zell; apparently things hadn't changed too awfully much.

"C'mon, let's just all get along like civilized human beings, please?" She asked, touching Zell's arm.

Seifer cocked an eyebrow, his lips pulling up over to expose a mouth full of white teeth in a full fledged sneer, "Aw, Quisty and Zell huh? Should have known that the chicken wuss would go for the nerdy type."

"Shut the fuck up! I so do NOT go for the nerdy type." Zell growled, taking a step forward.

"No Zell, it's alright," she whispered, touching his arm in an attempt to slow him down. Quistis couldn't help but feel her heart shatter. All these false hopes. He hadn't ever said anything about them ever happening, or that he ever wanted them to happen. He was just her friend. It was always the same with her. She was always just the friend, nothing more. It was all too much. Here she was thinking she was falling for him. '_That's what I get for getting lost in the moment and losing my head in the clouds! You idiot!_' She gave his arm a final pat before she turned around and walked out of the café as dignified as possible. Once she was out of sight, she couldn't contain her angst anymore. She ran to her dorm room, shielding her weeping eyes from the rest of the students, cadets, and faculty.

Seifer laughed, "Yeah Zell, it's alright. No need to start something you don't wanna finish." It wasn't a taunt, it was a warning.

Zell continued to cast death stares at the former knight the entire time Seifer received his food. It wasn't over, not by a long shot. Even if he had to face Squall's wrath for his actions, it would be well worth it. It was a long time coming but Seifer was definitely going to get his, somehow, someway; Zell was going to make it happen.

************

_The next night_

The temperature in the room just seemed to be getting warmer. Or was it just her? Perhaps she shouldn't even go?

"No…I can't live in this cell forever. A little party won't hurt me," She whispered to herself, glancing at the dress that had been given to her from one of the women SeeDs. It was black. Nothing but a simple, scandalous looking black dress. It was cut just underneath her buttocks and was strapless. And the black high heels only added to its tempting aura. She frowned. Not something she would typically wear. Hell, she'd never wear something like this but she couldn't go to the party in her normal blue attire. It wouldn't be the part. And besides, tonight was about letting loose and enjoying the atmosphere. How long would it be that they would be able to live so care free? Surely it wouldn't be long before the planet would be flip flopped and war would once again fill the air.

"Ms. Heartilly, are you proper?"

She giggled, touching her chest slightly, "Sure, come on in Chad."

After a few creaks from the stairs, Chad stood before her dressed in his white SeeD uniform. She couldn't help but smile, "Don't you look nice?"

He didn't hear her. All he could do was look at her. She was the epitome of beauty. Her long black hair was draped over her bare shoulders, her legs jetting out from underneath the small fabric that appeared to be her dress. And her face…and he thought she was beautiful without make up. But with the lightest of mascara and lip stick applied, she turned from beautiful to ravishing. And with the silver necklace added just enough color to the entire ensemble.

"Rinoa…you're…you're…I mean….wow."

She bit her fingernails, trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness, "Oh come off it, Chad. Sheesh. You're embarrassing me. Well c'mon, let's get a move on. The party will be over with by the time we get outta here."

He nodded curtly, swallowing.

Rinoa led the way out of the cabin cell, Chad following closely at her heels.

It was night time. The only illumination aside from the stars and moon was a few strategically placed lamps. There was a band playing towards the bow, leaving the main part of the ship's deck open for dancers and drinkers. Only a few officers had bottles of beer, the deck was mostly littered with dancers. Rinoa's brow wrinkled with amusement. Chad laughed, "Alright so it's not like a great party but it's something to pass the time, right?"

She shook her head, "No…it's perfect."

"So…ahem…shall we?" Chad asked her, his emerald green eyes bright in the night's keep.

Rinoa glanced to find that his hand was extended towards her. All was silent, including her breathing. All that she could hear was the pounding in her ears as she shakily raised a hand, hovering her palm over top of his.

"S-sure."

Just as she was about to place her hand into his, a cadet came running from inside the control center, "We just received a transmission from the High Commander!"

Rinoa withdrew her hand and instead placed her fingertips around Squall's ring, "High Commander? What's that?"

Chad sighed, "He was appointed by the President of Esthar City as the absolute high power for SeeD. We all follow his exact orders in this time of crisis. He was announced yesterday by the president. I meant to let you watch the transmission last night but it must have slipped my mind."

'_Hardly_.' He thought to himself as everyone crammed into the control center, waiting patiently for the com tech to open up the com frequency, "What was it concerning?"

"The head on attack of the special ops team. They are to be announced today. Oh, shush, it's on."

"_Would you just get this over with that way everyone can get on with their lives? Sheesh."_

Rinoa raised an eyebrow. The voice sounded familiar.

"_I __**hate**__ giving speeches."_

"_Well get used to it, High Commander. It's in your job description. Now get in front of the com device and tell them the information."_

A man in black grudgingly walked in front of the com screen, his hand burying itself in his brown locks out of habit, "_Attention all SeeDs and Gardens. This is the High Commander Leonhart-"_

Her heart felt like it wanted to rupture. Could it be possible for a heart rate to go any higher than hers was at this exact moment?

"Squall…" She whispered. Chad couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy pierce through him. She had said his name with such feeling and fervor…it was obvious. He was more than just an old acquaintance. This was the one who her heart belonged to. Her Romeo.

"_I'm making this transmission to announce the special ops team that will be completing the first wave against the sorceress-"_

"More like lambs for the slaughter," one of the cadets in the control center whispered.

"_The team will be composed of five experienced individuals. The team is comprised of Irvine Kineas, Zell Dincht, Quistis Trepe, Selphie Tilmitt, and me."_

"Wow…the High Commander is going into battle against the sorceress? Sacrificing himself for SeeD? That's pretty noble," one low-ranked female officer whispered to her friend. The friend shrugged.

"It's not like it's the first time. This will be the second time this particular SeeD unit has engaged the sorceress in battle. Even though they're the most prepared and qualified for the assignment, it's still suicide. The sorceress has the entire Magic Military at her disposal. Who is to say that she won't use her endless military to just eradicate them like vermin? Stupid, I say."

A blind fury filled Rinoa's body as she silently wept. Not because of what they said, but because it was true. Her friends were going to be the guinea pigs. Squall was going to be hurt or…worse. Her hand fisted around his ring, begging for some sort of comfort. She should be with them, attacking the sorceress head on.

As she looked at his appearance as he spoke, she couldn't help but let the tears fall. He was perfect. Her distorted memories didn't do him any justice at all. The way he moved, the way he glanced at the com device as if it were a nuisance, the way he held his head, the way his mouth moved when he talked…the way he was period. He was pure perfection.

"_However, once my SeeD unit is dispatched there will be a temporary commander that will deliver all battle strategies and commands in my absence. Seifer Almasy."_

Rinoa stared in disbelief as her former beau walked in front of the com device and stood, just as rigid and proud as Squall, glaring at them all. He was the same…except he was dressed differently. He didn't sport his usual gray overcoat. Instead it was replaced with a form fitting, long sleeved gray shirt with the same red cross from his coat adorning his chest. She studied the two of them against one another. Squall, he seemed transparent. He was thinner, his eyes dull. What was happening to him?

"_Every command he gives you will follow without the slightest of questions, understood SeeDs? That is my transmission. Please keep com frequencies ready for any other transmissions that may need to be made. Continue with the night's activities."_

And just as soon as it had begun, the transmission ended, leaving everyone to whisper their fears and to predict the deaths of the special ops force. It left Rinoa with a sickening feeling consuming her stomach. They were going to be sacrificed and she was going to be kept locked in a cell, untouched.

It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. It wasn't anything but a pure distraction for the sorceress. And the consequences this distraction held were going to be dire.

* * *

**Alright so whatcha think? Ooooh doom and gloom. Heheh. Chapter 16 up in a day or so. =)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	16. Apologies

**Disclaimer: It's not mine….**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's Note: Guinea pigs….0_o **

* * *

"_Hoping for a moment that I turn around and you'll be coming after me. 'Cause all that I can say is that it's obvious you're all I see. Come on baby let me in and show me what this really is." – _Safetysuit_, Stay_

"_Walk a 1000 miles in my shoes just to see what it's like to be me. I'll be you, let's trade shoes just to see what it'd be like to feel your pain, you feel mine. Go inside each other's minds. Just to see what we find, look at shit through each other's eyes." – _Eminem_, Beautiful_

_**********_

It had been a few days after the com transmission where the High Commander had announced the members of the specials ops team. And it had been a few days of nothing but mental torment on Rinoa's part.

All that kept playing through her mind was the fear brewing in the chests of her friends and former comrades. And what was the deal with Seifer? Surely Squall didn't trust him did he?

"I need to talk to him! I need to…I need…I need him!" She screamed, a fist hitting the bars of her cell.

"Um…" A tense laugh, "Do you mean me because I'm here with your food. I know I'm a little later than usual but I didn't think you would notice."

'_Chad…_' Her mind instantly withdrew out of its state of torture. He was the only outlet she had into the world. He was her link to civilization. He was the one she depended on and she had been less than friendly with him these past few days.

She instantly lowered her throbbing hand from the bars, watching as he descended the stairs, "Sorry," he muttered.

Guilt found her. Rinoa smiled at him sheepishly, rather embarrassed over her recent behavior, "Chad…hi. Don't fret; I wasn't mad about the food. I didn't even know you were later than usual. How have you been today?"

He gazed at her, his green eyes troubled at this sudden change in her demeanor, "Cold."

Rinoa's forehead wrinkled with confusion, "Cold? It's cold out?"

Chad nodded, "Leaves have already begun to fall."

The ex-sorceress nodded, "It's just so warm down here…and the other night at the party, it didn't seem chilly."

"I'm surprised you weren't freezing considering what you were _wearing_," he said gruffly.

She was shocked. Was he mad about the party? "Chad…you seem off today. Would you care to talk?"

He opened the door to her cell and walked in, shutting the door behind him. He set the tray down on the small, make shift table that was part of her living quarters. He turned to her, his face indecipherable. "I'm off? I'M OFF? What about you?! I've never seen any girl go through mood swings like you do! One second you're fine and happy and giggling, and then the next second you're asking to go back to your cell so you can cry for hours on end. I take you to a dance and you seem all gung ho about it, but as soon as the High Commander shows up on the com transmission you do a 180 and all of sudden it's back to doom and gloom Rinoa. I can't take seeing you like this. Why can't you just be happy here? It's not like you're mistreated. You're treated with great respect and provided company whenever you like. I have duties I'm supposed to do too but I put them off so that I can keep you company because I actually thought you enjoyed my presence. What's the deal Rinoa, I can't keep going along with this. This is complete and utter madness."

He had exploded so suddenly that she hadn't realized that she had started to back away from him, towards the corner of her cell. Or the fact that he was unintentionally following her.

"Chad I…I didn't know that I was making you so upset-"

"Upset? UPSET? You're driving me INSANE! I've never had a woman that can make my heart beat fast and break it at the same time. Just when I think I'm finally catching on to how you work, it completely changes and I have to start back at square one."

"I'm sorry, Chad. I didn't think that you were-"

"Didn't think that I was what? Trying to fill that hole in your heart that you cry about all the time? Trying to make your nightmares go away? Trying to win your affection? Trying to get closer to you? No you wouldn't know would you? You're too busy swooning over that asshole, Leonhart. That's who it is, isn't it? I saw how you looked when he came onto the screen. That's the one that makes you cry at night, isn't it? That's the one you scream for when you're dreaming, right? I don't get it. I treat you like a damn princess and yet you still call out for him! He sent you away and doesn't even try to contact you but still you're still obsessed over him. I just don't fuckin' get it!" Chad hissed, his emotions flowing from him like a wild river. He was clearly distressed at his emotional exposure, "Just tell me one thing-"

Rinoa nodded, her eyes imploring him to ask her anything. She kept her mouth sealed. He looked so helpless. She hadn't even noticed that she had been causing him so much pain.

"I need to know if you feel anything-"

"Feel anything?"

It happened so fast. She didn't even have time to react. His hands reached around her waist and pulled her to him quickly. His mouth covered hers as soon as she was within his reach.

Rinoa's eyes ripped open, pupils narrowing. She pressed frantically at his chest until he finally released her. It had only been a mere matter of seconds but it had felt like an unending nightmare to her. His eyes fluttered shut after a moment before he let go of her, "I see."

He turned on his heels and marched out of the cell, locking it behind him.

Rinoa stood where she was, watching as he stormed up the stairs and out of sight. Albeit she had taken no part in the kiss, it still bothered her. "Squall," she breathed, holding onto his ring for comfort. And even though she felt bad for crushing her only friend on this ship, she couldn't pretend to feel something she didn't. Her heart was already taken. It belonged to someone else and she was never going to let anyone else have it. Ever.

************

To say that Quistis was keeping away from Zell would be an understatement. She was flat out hiding from him, inside the office. He never ventured into the clerical part of the Garden unless absolutely necessary, so she knew she was safe here.

As safe as one could be with Squall as another occupant of the room. He didn't speak much, or look at her much, or move much for that matter. However every once in a while he would growl and throw papers onto the floor. And on rare occasion he would slam a heavy fist onto the wooden desk. Had she not been used to it she would have been worried, but this had been Squall since Rinoa had been gone. The good thing about Squall being in this state was that he was getting a lot more work done.

He was constantly finishing paperwork, making rounds, sending com transmissions, gathering supplies to prepare Garden for the battle at hand, and he would train every night after all of his duties were finished. Surely he ate and slept but she hadn't the faintest idea when. And he quite possibly wasn't eating at all. He was looking thinner each day, his face losing more color, his eyes growing colder and duller, sinking further into his skull with each passing minute it seemed. He was a mere ghost of what he used to be. But no one dared to speak of it to him, not even Seifer.

"Can you sign this stack for me now? Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you," Quistis whispered to Squall. If she had bothered him he hadn't shown it. He simply reached beside him, took the papers, and continued scribbling notes onto a paper with a bizarre fury.

She lingered. Squall hated when people lingered. "What is it?" He scowled.

Quistis faltered in her resolve. Perhaps she shouldn't say anything to him at all? Perhaps she should just let him burn in this hell he had created? It had been all his doing after all. He had been the one to venture to Centra Region alone. He had been the one to send Rinoa away. He had been the one who had failed to convince Laguna of a different High Commander. He was the one who was going to have to do most of the work. He was the one who would fight Ultimecia and all the while have images of Rinoa plastered into his mind. He was the one with the attitude problem. It was all his doing. So then why did she pity him so?

Possibly because she knew deep down that no one else could take his spot? That it had to be Squall. That he was destined to walk this path. But who said that he had to walk it unaided? Ever since all of this had happened he had kept to himself and even attempted to drink his pain away. But did he really have to?

"I'm here, Squall," She finally muttered.

He shifted in his chair but didn't look up.

"Did you hear me?" She asked him, "I said I'm here," she told him again.

"I grasp that you're right there. I'm not slow, Quistis. I may be a lot of things but I'm not slow," he snapped back at her.

"No Squall…I mean that _I'm here."_

He was perturbed. He dropped the pen and spun around in his chair to face her. "I'm not in the mood for mystery word games, Quistis Trepe. Perhaps you should just say what you mean so that I can get on with my work."

She swallowed. She wanted to turn away. She wanted to run out and take refuge in the library. But she wouldn't. She couldn't. Squall was her friend, her commander, her inspiration to do better. He required her, regardless of whether he knew it or not.

"Why don't you take a break? Grab something to eat? You have to be hungry."

Squall's icy blue eyes remained unenthusiastic, _"I'm not hungry."_

"Well then why don't you go take a nap or something, catch up on some sleep? You're always working, I'm sure you're tired."

"_I'm not tired."_

She wanted to slap her face in exasperation. He was so hard to fracture. How Rinoa had managed to decipher Squall's code was far beyond her. Just another clue that Squall hadn't been meant for her after all, that Rinoa had been the piece to his puzzle long before they had ever met.

Quistis gave him a defiant stare, "Squall Leonhart I-"

His eyes shifted to the left ever so slightly. He was finished with the conversation. He pushed himself away from his desk, his chair nearly rolling over her toes on the trip away from the desk.

She dodged the unforgiving wheels, taking a step backwards, "Where are you going?"

He had already made it to the door by that time. She watched as his shoulders slumped. He turned his head to the side so that she knew he was talking to her, "You ask me to leave and then once I go to leave you ask me where I'm going? Does it matter as long as I'm out of here?"

"That wasn't my point, Leonhart. And you know it. You're starving. You're exhausted. How about you take some time for yourself and just take a sick day? You'll be of no use to us if you go to fight Ultimecia at less than perfect. You'll probably get us all killed, actually. Your unit relies on you, Squall. You're the heart and backbone of the special ops team. Please don't do this…we need you. The world needs you. Rinoa needs you. _I need you_," she added, knowing all too well the risk she was taking with bringing Rinoa into the conversation.

His head snapped forward again, his shoulders squared. "If any transmissions come in from Esthar City, tell them that I will speak with them tomorrow. As far as paperwork goes…it's caught up to say the least."

She turned back to his desk and grabbed one of the pieces of printed paper, "Squall, this report isn't due for another two months!"

He shrugged, "You should go for a walk, Quistis. I don't think Zell is up at this time of day."

Her cheeks flushed, "What? I don't care if Zell is up or not."

"Of course not. I'm just saying," he said coldly. He was being sensitive in a way that was purely Squall. She couldn't help but let the sentiment play at her heart strings.

"Who will watch the com center?" She asked.

"Seifer."

Quistis' breath caught in her lungs, "S-Seifer? But why? You can't be serious!"

He exhaled slowly, "I need to learn to trust him. It's best to earn that confidence before the skirmish, correct?"

She smiled awkwardly. Only Squall would use the word 'skirmish' to describe war. "Very insightful on your part, sir."

Squall tilted his head to the side. Quistis bit on her tongue to keep from laughing. His signature tilt of the head as he often did when he was rolling his eyes. He still couldn't take compliments. He was such a humble guy even after all the fame and responsibility that had been bestowed upon him. Definitely not like his father. The apple fell far from the tree in their instances.

"I expect for you to be out of here in less than ten minutes. Leave the key for Seifer on top of your desk. He will arrive shortly."

Quistis saluted his back, "Yes High Commander Leonhart, sir."

He frowned instantly. Getting used to that title was definitely a hard thing to do. He raised his hands and flicked his index and middle finger at Quistis as a form of waving as he left.

Quistis glanced at the clock and waited. In ten minutes it would be ten. Surely Zell would still be sleeping. She nodded to herself as she tidied up the office. The idea of Seifer being alone in the office was definitely troubling but she trusted Squall. And regardless of whether or not he actually wanted to let Seifer run the office by himself, she knew that he was right. They needed to trust Seifer and they needed to earn that trust quickly. The air was beginning to change and Quistis was fairly sure it had nothing to do with the weather.

************

She had only asked him to leave the office. She hadn't truly expected him to go and relax, had she? If she had then she was sadly mistaken. From ten until two was when he had recently changed the students schedules to physical combat training. Most had just finished the magic and elemental studies, now it was his turn to train them in hand on hand combat.

He had already sought out Seifer and sent him to the office to watch over transmissions the rest of the day. Regardless of the lack of interest Seifer usually took in clerical duties, he was more than thrilled to show his new formed self to Squall. Not that he cared what Squall thought, but he did want the High Commander's approval. He had given Squall that dirty grin as he usually did and had tilted his head to the side, "Sure thing, crybaby. I got this shit!"

The mere memory of Seifer calling him a crybaby caused Squall to groan in annoyance. Seifer still liked getting under his skin that was for certain.

He walked in to the training facility to find that it was littered with students. Squall took in the sights of all the attendees. Half of the girls were still dressed in relatively short skirts and high heels.

Squall buried his face into one of his gloved hands. '_Of course. Why should I expect any different?_'

"Alright so I apologize for the sudden changes in everyone's schedules. But as you are all aware times have changed. You must all be combat ready. That is why magic, elemental, and physical combat classes have become the prime focal point of your teachings. I will be the one instructing your physical combat classes. They will meet here everyday at exactly ten each morning and will last until two in the afternoon-"

"FOUR HOURS?!" One of the short skirt, high heeled girls wailed, covering her mouth with her hands immediately regretting the outburst.

"I would like to think that four hours each day until further notice is a mere grain of sand compared to what you will face once Ultimecia decides to invade us."

"Wait…she'll invade us here?" A cadet asked, glaring at the girl who had caused Squall to grow even icier in his demeanor.

Squall raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure that she will have her military invade every SeeD base. With proper training we should be more than qualified to defeat them. Where the actual sorceress will attack, I do not know-"

"She's gonna come straight for you! You're the one who defeated her last time!" Another snobbish girl shouted.

Squall reached up and scratched the side of his face, his gloves rustling against the beginnings of his five o'clock shadow. "Perhaps, but there is no way to prove such an accusation. So then, with all of those possibilities locked away in your memory, let us commence with the course."

"I can't," the girl that had spoken out of term first grumbled.

The High Commander stared at her lazily, "Why not?"

"Because…it's my time of the month. My period? I can't do this today," she stated matter-of-factly.

He grimaced inwardly. Girls were so complex. "Well even if it wasn't your…'time,' you still would have been dressed in the completely wrong attire. All females dressed in a skirt and or high heels are instructed to return to the dormitories and change into combat gear. And you…" He continued, his eyes holding steady with hers, "I suggest you take the proper precautions for your current condition because you _will be_ training today regardless of your feminine inconveniencies."

Her mouth dropped with humiliation as she and half of the other girls raced out of the training facility.

************

Rinoa kept touching her lips as if they had been tragically burnt. Her eyes appeared larger than normal, tears forming a shield over her dark brown orbs. Her one friend on this ship had developed feelings for her and she had ruined their friendship and destroyed his heart in one fell swoop. Why couldn't time just reverse to when she was a child and she hated boys because they had cooties?

Resentment seared through her veins. In a royal fit of rage, Rinoa freed her neck of her necklace and threw it across the cell, watching as it hit the wall with an unforgiving metallic crash. She watched further still as it fell to the floor with a softer sound of metal meeting tile.

From then on the only sound that was heard from inside her cell was the sound of Rinoa's labored breathing. '_Where are you when I need you, Squall? I'm stuck here to wonder if you're even thinking of me like I think of you. What are you doing? You're sacrificing everything…everything. Do you even realize? Do you even care? You haven't even made an attempt to see if I was alright…it's like I never even existed to you. Perhaps this is my sign to let go? Perhaps Chad was my sign from the gods to let go of you and to accept that my future may be with someone else?'_

She bowed her head. _'But if it's with someone else then why does my heart beat for you and you alone? If I'm meant to be with someone else then why is it that the only connection of this magnitude has been felt with you and you alone?...Maybe I am to be tormented by your memory until the time of my death?'_

Rinoa continued to stare at the fallen piece of jewelry that glistened from its spot on the floor. Her face took on that of sudden recognition as she quickly crawled over to the necklace, inspected the ring to make sure it was still unscathed, and reapplied it to her neck. She was ashamed of herself. "That's selfish, Rinoa," she warned herself.

The one person who needed to support him and she had been doubting every decision he had ever made. Of course his SeeD unit would have to be the ones to attack Ultimecia first. Anyone else would not even last her first attack. "But still…I can't help but know that I should be with them. I should be with him. He's fading away," she whispered to the confines of her cell.

Chad sighed, leaning against the doorframe up on the deck. He had been prepared to go downstairs to apologize for his actions earlier when he heard her unravel. It was sad to see such a motivated and determined young woman give in to iron bars. He wouldn't let her spirit be broken. He simply wouldn't. Even if the feelings he held for her wasn't for his to receive from her he knew that the man that deserved her feelings was preparing for war and possibly even his death…regardless of needing to protect her from the sorceress Chad knew that this wasn't the solution. She would surely go mad. He bowed his head, his black hair falling in front of his face. Now was the time to tell her…regardless of whether or not she spoke to him again. It was time to let her know that she hadn't been forgotten.

He took in a quick breath before he descended the stairs. He didn't meet her eyes, instead he walked over to the cell and simply unlocked it.

"Chad?"

Her voice was strained but still angelic. The young cadet couldn't help but relax in her presence, "Come with me."

"Y-yes," she agreed. He could feel her step next to him. Her hand brushed his. Jolts of life shot through him. He couldn't help but beam at the contact.

Chad straightened up, his viridian eyes staring at her from underneath dark pieces of hair, "We must go to the com center."

She didn't react at first. Slowly a puzzled expression captured her face, "Com center?"

"I'll explain once we get there."

She simply nodded.

************

Chad gave the SeeD salute to the female officer inside the com center, "Marion, may I please use the com center in private with Ms. Heartilly?"

Marion shrugged, smiling sheepishly at him, "Sure thing, Chad. Just come get me in the break room when you're done."

He nodded, watching as she left. He followed her progress, stopping at the door to lock it.

Rinoa stared at him blankly, "So do I get to know what's going on yet?"

Chad walked over to the com device and typed in a few codes to unlock the system, "Rinoa…I overheard you in your cell earlier."

She turned red, "Oh…I didn't know I was being so loud. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm the one that's sorry."

Rinoa beamed at him, her face instantly taking on that bright quality that rattled his ability to focus, "Don't worry about it, Chad."

"You aren't understanding the depth of my apology. I am apologizing for more than just the kiss I stole from you."

She wrapped her fingers around the ring on her necklace, "What do you mean…what else did you do?"

"Welcome Cadet Chad. Would you like to send a transmission?" The com center's mechanized voice asked the room.

He hung his head, leaving only his broad shoulders and lower body available to Rinoa's eyes. Her heart clenched, "Chad…what did you _do_?"

"It's more of what I _didn't_ do, Rin."

She flinched. Her nickname sounded so awkward and foreign in his mouth. She instantly hated it.

"Alright so what didn't you do, then?"

"Awaiting command," the com device robotically interjected.

And even though the machine had no idea that it was perturbing her, Rinoa shot it a glare.

"You constantly feel alone and unmissed. Well you shouldn't. Rinoa, ever since you've been on board this vessel there has been at least one transmission from Balamb Garden inquiring on your status or even to speak with you."

"You said they weren't even trying to contact me-" She began.

Her eyes narrowed in on him. He stood up and turned to her, his eyes blazing with his resolve to better his name to her, "They mostly come from a brunette woman and a blonde woman at the same time. I have seen a man with a tattooed face and a man with a cowboy's hat."

Her heart faltered, "That's it?"

He shook his head, "And once, for only a matter of ten seconds or less, there was a brief view of the High Commander. He didn't say anything. He didn't even look at the com device. He grumbled something to himself before turning the transmission off."

Her mouth parted as her heart beat sporadically. He had thought of her. He had nearly given in to talking to her while she had been here. She was on his mind just as he was on hers. He did miss her.

"Rinoa?"

She shook her head fervently, "I can't believe you hid this from me. You knew how much I missed them all but still you kept this away from me. My only connection to my old life and you stole it from me. How could you do this to me?"

He went numb as he watched her come to terms with his actions. He had no answer.

Rinoa ran to the com device, "How do you send a private transmission to Balamb Garden?"

Chad hesitated.

"How do you do it?" She tried again, more forceful.

"….."

"CHAD HOW DO I SEND A TRANSMISSION TO BALAMB GARDEN?!" She screamed, turning around and landing a slap straight across his face.

The room fell into a thick silence. She was panting, her hand still held in its position after she had finished slapping him. Her eyes were passionate, warning him of her lack of patience. He simply stared. She was beautiful. "Rinoa…I'm s-sorry," he stuttered, his eyes shimmering with regret. His cheek was turning a shade of red where she had hit him. Inwardly she applauded herself. She definitely knew how to make a man feel bad.

She lowered her hand, "Please…tell me how to send a transmission."

"Let me do it," he said, pressing a few keys onto the keyboard. He backed away and sighed, his eyes daring to find hers, "There. It's connecting."

"Understood. Connecting to Balamb Garden now," the device informed them.

Rinoa stuck her chin indignantly before finally letting her anger melt away. She couldn't contain her excitement. She let out a squeal of pure joy as she launched herself into Chad's arms, her hands snaking around his neck. Chad pulled her tight to his body as he returned the hug, loving the heat her body radiated.

"Thank you…regardless of hiding them to me initially you still told me about it and now you're letting me talk to them. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He smiled, closing his eyes, "You're welcome, Rinoa."

"_Yeah what is it?...Whoa-ho-ho! Rinny! Look at you! You don't waste any time do you?"_

Rinoa pulled away from Chad, her face in shock at the voice on the other end, "Seifer…what are you doing answering the transmissions?"

He snorted, crossing his arms, "_Old man winter made me run the office today_."

"Squall let you run the office…alone?" She gasped.

He shrugged, "_Well he has to teach a physical combat class from ten until two. It's an everyday thing now. And he has office work he does in the morning. And then after the combat class has ended he makes his rounds. And then after that he has to check the defenses of the Garden…and blah, blah, blah. He's always working to make a long story short. So how have you been Rinny? I haven't seen you in so long. Your hair is longer and you definitely filled out in all the right places-"_

"Seifer!" She growled, "Cut it out."

"_As you wish, princess_," he mocked, "_So what can I do for you?"_

She frowned, "I was hoping to talk to Squall or any of the others."

"Oh _I see, I'm not good enough for you to talk to me. Gotcha. Well then whatever, I don't need this. You and I were close there for a while until Leonhart came into the picture. You don't even act like you know me half the time. You can't even ask how I'm doing._"

"Seifer…first of all this is the first time I've seen you in forever. Secondly, you know I like to talk to you. How have you been?"

"_I've been great, thank you. I like being back on Garden. There's so much to do and get into. I make it a daily task to annoy the shit outta chicken wuss. And now I'm the understudy for the High Commander once he's dispatched. Things are finally working out for me. How have you been, Rin? I see you found yourself something to sleep with at night,_" he said, throwing her a devious grin.

Her cheeks tinted pink, "Seifer, this is Chad. He's just a friend."

"_Sure…just like I'm 'just friends' with the cadet Monica_."

She shuddered. The automatic images of someone hooking up with Seifer, regardless of how good looking he actually was, was unnerving.

"Look…is Squall around?"

Seifer rolled his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh, "_I already told ya, Rinny, he's busy. I'll tell him that you tried to get a hold of him. But I really need to get off of here. I need to finish rearranging Squall's desk,_" he said with a slight chuckle. He pressed a button and he was gone. The image faded and the transmission ended.

Her one chance at retribution had been taken from her once again. Rinoa wailed in disappointment, "Stupid Seifer!"

"Well that won't be good," Chad muttered.

She raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"Didn't you hear him? _'It looks like you found something to sleep with._' From the way he comes off it sounds like he tries to get under the High Commander's skin. I highly doubt that he'll pass up the chance to rub discovering us hugging in to the High Commander's face, and he'll probably 'accidentally' leave out certain details about the conversation. Just what the High Commander needs…a distraction," Chad grumbled, his last sentence oozing with sarcasm.

Rinoa's eyes widened. Chad was definitely observant and what was worse was that he was completely right. Seifer was going to _ruin_ Squall.

* * *

**Heheh meddling Seifer. I love it. Alright so chapter 17 up tomorrow I believe. **

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	17. Jealousy

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII or any of its original characters. All are sole property of Square Enix.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's Note: Seifer is such a busy body. Someone please help Squall!**

* * *

"_Jealousy__ is a tiger that tears not only its prey but also its own raging heart_." –Unknown

"_Letting go doesn't mean __giving up__, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.__"_ –Unknown

********

It was too much of an opportunity to pass up. But he would wait for the perfect time to deliver the blow to Squall's ego. Even though he was past his feelings for Rinoa, he was still very much in love with upsetting Squall. That would never go away. It was in his DNA. It was his primal instinct and he wasn't about to ignore his instincts.

So after everyone had gone to bed for the night or at least back to their dorm rooms to let off some Squall-fueled steam, Seifer made his move. It was Squall's training part of the day and what better time to tell him about his little discovery than when Squall had a sharp gunblade at his disposal?

Seifer had been missing the action of engaging Squall in battle since his arrival. Even if the two weren't exactly the friendliest towards each other one thing Seifer could say about Squall was that he was the best fighter he had ever had the pleasure of locking blades with.

As he entered the training facility the former knight made sure not to make the slightest of noises. He slunk around the forest-like terrain with expertise. Still no Squall in sight. Maybe he had be wrong in assuming Squall be here tonight?

Then he heard it. The sound of a gun shot. It could be two options: Irvine or Squall. And with the attention Irvine had been getting from Selphie as of late, Seifer highly doubted that the sniper was even out of his room at this hour. He knew he wouldn't be if he was in his shoes.

"I'd be tearin' that chick up any chance I got," he whispered to himself, his bright eyes pricking around trees and bushes. Still, no Squall. '_Where the hell is he?_'

He continued to sneak until he caught sight of Squall with his back to him. He was drinking something. Surely the High Commander hadn't gotten winded after a few fiends had he?

A sadistic grin plastered Seifer's face as he approached him, keeping the crunch of the twigs and leaves beneath his feet as silent as possible.

"Slinking around like a cat isn't really your style, Seifer."

Seifer Almasy's mouth parted ever so slightly with surprise. How had he known? Surely he had been fighting fiends the entire time. And he hadn't made the slightest of noises on his journey over to Squall. No matter…

"Didn't wanna interrupt you mid-fight."

Again Squall pressed a bottle to his lips. What the hell was he drinking? "You got an alcohol problem, Leonhart?" Seifer asked, taking a shot at what the bottle contained. Certainly if it were anything other than alcohol Squall wouldn't have a problem drinking it out in public. Everyone was in bed. It was true that Seifer had broken curfew but he wasn't worried about the repercussions. If Squall wanted to he could try to make him go back to the dorm…and if that was the case then mission complete. A good fight never made Seifer made. Quite the opposite really.

Squall chuckled slightly, "I find that alcohol isn't the problem here, it's you. What do you want, Almasy?"

Seifer crossed his arm and tilted his head to the side in his typical fashion. "Well I had a transmission come in earlier today and I figured you would like to be informed of it."

Squall hesitated. Was he seriously reporting to him? Perhaps trusting Seifer wasn't going to be so difficult after all, "Alright, report then."

The strawberry blond watched as he took another drink. This was going to be deliciously dirty. He wanted to laugh with excitement but he controlled himself. He kept the lethargic look on his face as he cleared his throat, "Right well all the paperwork has been filed. I even cleaned the office-"

The High Commander raised an eyebrow slightly. "Cleaning?" He knew from the word cleaned that Seifer meant 'destroyed'. He sighed, "Continue."

Seifer fought back a grin, "It looks good. Anyways, it was a pretty slow day except for the transmission. You'll never guess who it came from?"

Squall stared at him. He wasn't in the mood for Seifer's games tonight and he wasn't about to humor the blond, "Get on with it, I'm not going to guess. Where did the transmission originate?"

The understudy's lips pulled up over his teeth to throw Squall a toothy grin, "The White SeeD ship."

He didn't react. His facial expression remained unchanged but his eyes…his eyes said it all. Seifer kept his sneer in place, "They wanted to speak with you but you were in the middle of your physical combat course. I knew you wouldn't want to be disturbed."

Squall lowered his head, clearing his throat in the process, "And what did they need?"

"Oh they wanted to report on Ms. Heartilly's status."

At this he caught Squall glancing up at him through long pieces of brown hair, "Status?"

"Yeah apparently she was given permission to send a transmission to our Garden."

"By whom?"

"The man who she was with."

"Man?"

'_Oh Seifer you are so scandalous. This is almost too perfect_.' Seifer thought to himself, nodding at Squall's question, "Yeah, she said his name was Chance? Chase? Chad? Chad. That was it. He's a cadet on board the ship."

Still Squall kept his blue eyes fixed upon Seifer through his dark locks, "Cadet Chad allowed her to send a transmission?"

Seifer shrugged, "I'm guessin' at first but then I think he wasn't too keen on the idea because as soon as I accepted the transmission I realized that I was interrupting something."

Squall stood up to his normal height, face held high in pride, "Interrupted what?" As much as it killed him to go along with Seifer's antics he knew that Seifer was the only one who would be able to give him the crucial information on Rinoa that he so desperately was searching for.

"Well…I hate to say it dude but they were like hugging…and I don't mean normal hugging, I'm talking hardcore, wish we were undressed, hugging. They both got red and the dude kept trying to clear his throat. And then I asked her if she had found something to sleep with while she was over there and she got red again," his former enemy informed him.

The High Commander felt his breathing growing erratic in a mere matter of seconds but he tried to keep it concealed to the best of his ability. "What else?"

'_Hooked._' The other warrior sighed, "Well I told her that she moved on pretty fast…she didn't say anything. The Chad dude laughed a little." Ok so it was a lie, but this conversation was going so smoothly that he couldn't resist playing off of his comrade's emotions.

"I see…what else did they say?"

Seifer pretended to think for a moment and then shook his head, "Nothing really. After that I told them that I'd tell you and then they hurried and turned off the transmission. I couldn't help but notice the way they looked at each other before the transmission ended. They kind of had that 'where were we?' vibe goin' on."

Squall shifted his weight from leg to leg, a sign that although his face was an emotionless wasteland, his insides were in turmoil.

'_Mission complete_!' The blond thought, returning his face back to its blank expression. "But I figured you'd want to know about it."

Seifer turned to leave when he heard the liquid in the bottle gurgle. He smirked. Squall was chugging that alcohol with an unforgiving speed.

"Do you need me to watch the office again tomorrow, Squall?"

There was no answer for a while. Simply the continuing noise of the liquid sloshing around in the bottle.

"Squall?"

The man in black cleared his throat and sighed, "No…I appreciate you watching it today. Your services will not be necessary tomorrow, however."

Seifer nodded but kept his back to his High Commander, "Understood. Have a good night, sir."

He couldn't help but roll his eyes at his own comment. He knew perfectly well that a good night was simply out of the question.

************

The morning came quickly. At least in Quistis' opinion. She had spent the entire day and night locked up in her dorm room reading a couple of books but still, the time had seemed to fly.

She yawned as she walked into office. She glanced over at Squall's desk to find him rearranging everything, "What are you doing?"

He grumbled something under his breath as he kept tidying up his desk. Quistis quickly studied her own desk to find that it was untouched. _'Seifer must have had a hay day with Squall's desk…_'

Squall let out a growl as he threw a paperweight across the room, letting it smash hard against a book shelf. Quistis blinked, "Well what did that paperweight ever do to you, sir?"

"That bastard ruined everything. I knew he had done something when he told me that he had been cleaning yesterday," the High Commander grumbled, kicking the base of his desk ruthlessly.

Quistis couldn't help but notice that today Squall was clean shaven and back to his normal attire of black pants, white wife beater, and his famous fur-lined, hooded black leather jacket, "Are you making an appearance somewhere, Squall?"

He stopped his fit long enough to grunt a response of '_Perhaps_'.

She waited but he didn't explain himself, but instead he returned back to vandalizing his desk. His behavior was so abnormal that she couldn't help but grab his upper arm and turn him towards her. His face was sweating, his eyes glinting with an unreadable depth of anger, and even his body was shaking.

Quistis' eyes roved over his face rapidly, trying to tear down the invisible wall he always kept high around him. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. Surely nothing else could go amiss for him. The poor man was tormented mentally and physically. If he had any more blows surely he would throw himself from the Garden.

"Squall," she said in a hushed tone, "I don't know what's going on but you're acting like a complete stranger. This tantrum that you're throwing isn't anywhere close to the demeanor of the Squall Leonhart that I know. I know that you don't speak to anyone about how you're feeling, I accept that. But something is going on with you and I must know what it is, not for my own personal gain, but for the Garden. For SeeD. Please Squall, what's the problem?"

His body racked with heavy breaths, his eyes frantic. Surely he was going mad? Squall inhaled a ragged breath, wishing for a calming sensation to fill his entire body. "It's Seifer."

The blonde woman nodded, "I know how you two are together. I knew that this would get to you sooner or later. What has he done now?"

Brown locks swayed towards his desk as Squall nodded to the current atrocity that he called his desk, "He can't keep his filthy mitts off of anything."

She nodded again, remembering the other night she had seen him and a young female cadet together. "Very true," she muttered, her eyes rounding at the images flashing in her head. Quistis jerked herself from her trance to look back at Squall who was still trying his best to remain capable of forming whole sentences, "I don't think that just Seifer rearranging your desk did this. I think you were mad before you came in here. What's going on?"

"Transmission."

The two friends snapped their heads towards the com center as it informed them of an incoming transmission.

"I should answer that," Quistis mentioned, sauntering over to the computer a little more than perturbed. She had been so close to getting him to confess his situation. 'Someone better be getting attacked by the sorceress right now or else this is a pointless transmission.'

"Computer…origin?"

"The White SeeD Vessel, i.d. number 12-37-EK."

Quistis raised an eyebrow. What could they possibly want? "Allow transmission, computer."

"Understood. Connecting."

She turned around in her chair for a quick glance at Squall. He was back in the corner fixing his desk again. He was still grumbling under his breath loudly. Apparently he had fallen back into his little fit of rage as soon as she had turned towards the com center. She sighed, turning back to the com screen.

"I'm not here," Squall hissed, ripping some papers out of a folder that had apparently been filed incorrectly.

Even though he was clearly hurting, Quistis found that she was quickly growing sick of his attitude. "Alright just keep it quiet would you?"

He didn't answer.

"That's the idea," she mocked him, knowing all too well that it would get under his skin. And it had. Inadvertently he had ripped a document that had needed to be sent to Gabaldia. "Shit," he whispered, throwing the paper into the waste basket.

Quistis watched the video connection come onto the screen, "White SeeD Ship, it is indeed a surprise. You've reached Balamb Garden, how may we assist you today?"

The officer on the other end of the transmission saluted Quistis before grinning, "_Quistis Trepe, it's been far too long._"

She raised an eyebrow, "Pardon?"

"Oh _c'mon you're saying you don't remember me? That really hurts right here_," he said, touching his chest right over where his heart laid.

"Should I remember you?"

"_I'll let this go since you helped the High Commander save the world not long ago. I'll give you some hints. You used to call me 'the black plague' because of my hair and because I was always ruining your reports_."

She remained silent.

His mouth dropped, arms spread wide beside him, "_Are you kiddin' me? We met the eve of your graduation ball? I was one of your friend's dates_."

Still silence.

"_You spilled punch on my uniform_."

Her mouth cracked into a grin, "Chad Stinson. Wow, it's been so long. How have you been?"

He laughed, "_I've been doing pretty good. Things are a little crazy right now with the sorceress being back but nothing we can't handle right? How do you fare, Ms. Trepe_?"

She shrugged, "I'm doing alright I suppose."

"The com device isn't to be used for social hour," Squall grumbled. If looks could kill Quistis would have decapitated him right then and there.

"_What was that_?" Chad asked, a little confused. The room appeared to be empty but he had been sure he had heard someone else speaking, "_Is there another occupant inside the office?_"

Quistis shook her head, "No…it was probably just the wind."

"_The wind?"_ Chad repeated.

She nodded, "The wind here is bitchy."

Chad blinked in confusion, "_Bitchy…wind_?"

Squall hissed but remained silent, continuing to eradicate his desk of all the unneeded changes that Seifer had felt needed to be done.

"So how can I help you today, Chad?" She continued, trying to hide the smile that had crept onto her face when she heard Squall curse at her comment.

Chad sighed, "_Well actually I was hoping that the High Commander was available. I tried to contact him last night and he was unavailable. Is he around today_?"

Trepe shook her head, "No I'm sorry to say that he is busy. Is there anything I can help you with? A message to deliver?"

The black haired young man glanced towards his right and shook his head, saying something low that Quistis couldn't understand. "Cadet Chad?"

"_Well I suppose we can try again later_."

"'We?'" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"_Well last night Rinoa and I were trying to make a transmission to the commander but a blond man who revealed himself as Seifer told us that he was busy and that he would deliver the message. We thought that perhaps he would be available._"

"Rinoa?" Quistis asked, her voice reaching a higher pitch with pure surprise.

Chad nodded, waving for someone to join him at his side. The former instructor watched in surprise as Rinoa came to join Chad in the transmission.

"Quisty!" She exclaimed, beaming brightly at her friend.

"Rin…oh my goodness. How are you?"

"_I'm doin' alright, Quisty. You look beautiful, as always. How are things at the Garden_?" Rinoa asked, her usual perkiness seeping through the com links. She was still just as contagious and friendly as she had been before she left. The blond couldn't help but smile at her friend.

"It's um…interesting here. Always different everyday when you wake up, that's for sure. Never going to know what you're going to get. I mean one day I woke up and Seifer was Squall's understudy. It's um…a madhouse," she finally admitted, her cheeks burning red for a moment, "You know Rin, we all really miss you. You look great."

Rinoa winked at her friend, "_Thank you, Quisty. So tell me, how is everyone else doing_?"

"They're good. Irvine and Selphie don't hardly ever leave Irvine's room now. They're becoming hermits."

"_How come?_"

Quistis lowered her glasses to peer at Rinoa over their rims, "Do I even have to say it?"

Rinoa laughed uncomfortably, "_Oh…Zell_?"

The blonde hesitated at the mention of Zell, "Um…same as always. Trying to avoid Seifer at any cost. He hasn't been doing anything much differently," she muttered with a bit of venom.

"_Oh…made you mad has he_?"

Quistis shook her head, "No…don't worry about it. Now go ahead and ask the million dollar question, I know you want to."

It was the ex-sorceress' turn to blush, "_That transparent am I_?"

"Well Chad did tell me that you tried to contact us last night and again today? I have a feeling that you're wanting to speak to someone in particular."

Rinoa nodded, casting her eyes down to the floor where she was drawing an invisible pattern with her boot, "_Yeah Chad and I tried to contact Squall last night but he was busy training_."

"Really?" Quistis asked, shifting uneasily in her chair. Rinoa was going to ask for Squall and he had told her that he was not to be disturbed but was Rinoa an exception?

"_Is he around_?" Rinoa asked, her eyes burning with her resolve to see her long lost lover.

The commander's assistant hesitated. Surely he had heard her speaking with Chad and Rinoa. He had yet to come forward and make his presence known. Perhaps Rinoa wasn't the exception to the rule that Quistis had speculated earlier?

"He's busy," Quistis finally blurted out awkwardly.

Rinoa had look of confusion and disappoint flit across her beautiful features, "_Oh…I see. He's always busy_."

Quistis readjusted her glasses, "Well…you know Squall, always work, work, working."

Rinoa nodded glumly, "_Yeah I know. I was just hoping that he wouldn't be busy for once._"

Trepe watched as Chad reached over and brought Rinoa to his chest, hugging her lightly as a form of support, "It's alright. We're gonna get a hold of him eventually. Just have patience, Rinny."

SCREEEEEEEEECH. Quistis' eyes flew open as wide as they could as a loud noise sounded behind her. She whipped around to find an office chair barreling behind her, headed straight towards the wall. It was teetering dangerously as it rolled at an ungodly speed. As it grew closer to the wall, it finally gave in to the demands of gravity and fell to its side with a loud crash. But it continued on its projected course. It slammed into a bookshelf, rattling the wooden structure. With the wheels on the bottom of the chair still spinning at an alarming rate, the shelf finally toppled over, nearly fifty heavy books following suit. A couple of the old pieces of literature even broke apart at the spine as they fell to the floor, the pages flying up into the air in a storm of dust and knowledge.

Quistis' face completely drained of its color as she continued to stare at the wreckage.

Rinoa and Chad broke apart from their embrace, eyes wide with astonishment, "_What was that?_" Chad gasped.

Quistis turned back to the com center and laughed nervously, "The wind?"

"_The wind?!"_ Rinoa exclaimed.

The blonde woman turned back around towards the wreckage. The chair was all too recognizable as being Squall's. Her heart faltered. She let her eyes wander over to Squall's desk just out of the realm of the com center's vision to find that he was standing there, legs spread, hands fisted, arms bent, shoulders rising and falling, teeth grit in an animal-like snarl, his eyes wild. He was truly fearsome.

She didn't dare stir, he however, was on the move. He stepped over a heap of scattered papers, storming towards the com center. He had been watching.

"_Quisty…what was that? What happened_?" Rinoa asked, her face unsure.

"I'm…fine?" Quistis asked herself aloud, her teeth beginning to chatter against one another as Squall drew closer.

"_Ms. Trepe who are you looking at?"_ Chad asked, raising an eyebrow.

It wasn't long until their answer stood before them, breathing heavily. Quistis felt his shaking arms brushing against her shoulders as he towered beside her, glowering at the com screen, "How may I help you?" Squall growled through his clenched jaw.

"_High Commander_?"

"_Squall!_" Both of the individuals exclaimed upon spotting Squall. A grin captured all of Rinoa's face as she took in the sight of her beloved. Her eyes twinkled with sheer excitement as she took in his appearance. He was more put together than the last time she had seen him deliver his transmission to all of SeeD. He was shaven, his regular attire adorning his frame. She couldn't help but take in his ever depleting weight, "_Squall…you're so thin_."

He wasn't speaking to her. She kept her smile in place as studied him, "_Squall?_"

"I was told that you needed me, what can I do for you?" Squall asked in his most dignified business tone.

Rinoa remained unaffected, "I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to see you. It's been so long. I've missed you so much, Squall."

Squall lifted his chin, staring at her with his ice blue eyes that seemed particularly icy today, "Is that so? From what I've been told you couldn't be missing me too much."

"_Pardon_?" Rinoa sputtered, her mouth falling open with surprise. He was acting so strangely…was this really 'her' Squall? "_What's going on? Why are you being like this_?"

Chad cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak. Squall stopped him short, his blue eyes stopping him in his tracks, "I suggest that unless you're going to dismiss yourself that you don't speak at all, cadet. That's an order."

The black haired man's mouth snapped shut.

Quistis couldn't help but reach out to touch his arm, "High Commander surely you should take a few moments to calm down before you continue any further into this conversation."

He ignored her.

"_Squall_?" Rinoa tried again, her face fearful and unsure. "_Talk to me…What has you so upset? You aren't glad to see me? Haven't you missed me? Surely you wanted to hear from me. Hear how I was doing?_"

At this Squall emitted what appeared to be a laugh but the cold feeling that came over Quistis told her that it was more of a insult, "Hear how you are doing? Trust me, I've already heard how you're doing, Miss Heartilly. Quite well from what I gather."

"Squall, you're being difficult," Quistis informed him, getting to her feet. He kept his head towards the screen but his eyes found her at their corners. He held her there, a captive in the ice storm for what seemed like an eternity, before he turned his eyes back to the other two.

"_Squall…why are you doing this_?" Rinoa choked out, her eyes filling with a clear liquid, burning them, "_I don't understand_."

He glared at her, "You know what I don't understand? Why you feel the need to contact me just to rub everything in my face. I have a lot of things that I'm trying to do, Rinoa. I have to prepare all of SeeD and their respective Gardens for war. I have to prepare my special ops team for the frontal assault. I have to instruct a course on physical combat. I have to run an office. I have to train Seifer on how to run the Garden and give orders once I'm deployed. I certainly don't need your drama clouding my mind."

It was his mouth speaking the words but still she couldn't believe it. Squall was never this aggressive…not with her. _"I don't understand_," she repeated, tears freely falling from her eyes now.

Squall threw his arms into the air out of exasperation, "You know what else I don't understand? Why you make contact with Balamb Garden just to throw yourself all over a cadet from the White SeeD vessel. It's classless. Surely you have some wits about you, Miss Heartilly."

Chad and Rinoa's mouth fell open, "_Squall, that's silly. Please let me explain_," Rinoa began.

He raised a hand and cut her off, "No need. Seifer already told me. You know I would expect these little mind games from Selphie but certainly not from you, Rin. Just because you're pissed that I sent you away doesn't mean you should act this way. I did this for your own good. Can't you just accept that? I don't want you hurt. Ultimecia will kill you to get at me, don't' you get it? DON'T YOU FUCKIN' UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL?" He bellowed. It was out. His reason for sending her away. He didn't want her to suffer in silence. He wasn't afraid of Ultimecia possessing her. He was afraid of her being taken from him.

Rinoa's mouth moved but no words came. Seifer had ruined him just as Chad had predicted. Squall was heartbroken and it was all Seifer's fault. This was 'her' Squall. This was her jealous Squall, a side of him that she had never experienced. It was truly frightening. "_Squall…no, it's not like that at all_."

He shook his head, swallowing fervently at his throat, "I don't want to hear it. This conversation is over. Unless there is an emergency then you are not to contact this Garden."

"_SQUALL WAIT_-"

"Goodbye, Rin," he whispered, giving her one lasting look that wasn't one of anger or hatred. But of love…and disappointment. He turned around and stalked out of the office.

Quistis remained silent as she watched Rinoa weep and weep. The raven haired woman kept her eyes glued to the door that Squall had stormed out of. He had been deceived. And now he was gone. And he was about to go to war and possibly die in combat with a broken heart.

"_Rin?"_ Chad asked softly.

She shook her head, her teeth lodged into her lower lip. She wouldn't allow it. She would make Squall understand that he had been tricked. She would heal his hurt. She had to.

"_Quisty…I'm sorry but I have to go_."

Quistis nodded and ended the transmission, sitting back down into the chair with a thud. She blankly stared at the disarray of the room, her heart hammering in her chest. She felt like crying but she couldn't. She wouldn't. Squall had lost everything he had ever cared about in the blink of an eye and yet he had to go about life as if everything were alright. Like he hadn't been broken.

She got up and headed towards the door. She couldn't avoid him any longer. She had to find Zell. She had to accept that she would never have his heart. If Squall could have his heart shattered and still function, then she could too.

* * *

**0_o Alright so drama, drama, drama. Damn you Seifer, you busy body. Chapter 18 up tomorrow for sure. =) **

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	18. Chills and Spills

**Disclaimer: I do not own this wonder game…sadly.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's note: *sniffle***

* * *

"_That last kiss, I'll cherish until we meet again. And time makes it harder, I wish I could remember. But I keep your memory. You visit me in my sleep. My darlin', who knew? My darlin' I miss you."-_Pink_, Who Knew_

"_You have stolen my heart." –_Dashboard Confessional_, Stolen_

_************_

Determination overtook her. She was bound to see this through. She didn't have any other option. She couldn't go to war avoiding one of her fellow SeeD unit members. Surely it would result in a detrimental mistake on her part and she couldn't allow it. Things were already going to get hairy with Squall breaking from the inside-out; she couldn't add fuel to that fire. She wouldn't. She refused.

Each step brought her closer to leaving the office. It still was caught in the disarray that Squall had left it in. She knew he had no intention of coming back to clean it up. She really should stay to put things away but she wouldn't let her professional persona interfere with her heart. This time her feelings would take the driver's seat instead of always hiding in that symbolic back seat.

Quistis stopped just short of the door to push her glasses back up the rim of her nose. Now that she actually was paying attention, several strands of golden hair falling in front of her face told her that touching up her hair wouldn't be such a bad idea.

She reached behind her head, withdrew the clip that held up her hair, and redid the style completely before snapping the clip back into place. '_Good as new_.' Why she cared to fix her appearance before seeing a man that didn't give a rat's ass about her in the way she did about him eluded her. '_Maybe Selphie is starting to rub off on me. I should really stop tagging along with her so much_.'

Although verbally she would never admit it, her mental demons knew all too well why Quistis hung around with Selphie most of the time. Sure the girl was a close friend and a good time but it was so much more than that. Selphie was beautiful, no question. And the men didn't seem to have any problem letting her know either, regardless of the relationship she and Irvine shared. They still advised her that they were still waiting for her to return to the market.

They would look at her like she had just walked out of heaven to grace them with her presence. And even when she was in sweats, hair up, no make up on, they would still stare and lick at their lips. It was almost as if she was a breathing pin up poster that they could ogle at whenever they wanted. And Quistis loved it. Even though she wasn't the object of their desire, she couldn't help but memorize every flick of the eye, or every shimmer of their teeth as they smiled at her. It had to be a great feeling. No one ever seemed to look at her with those hungry eyes. Ever. Not even if she would spend all night, wishing on every star in sight, that they would. That was why she stayed around Selphie for so long. That was why they were practically inseparable on most days. She simply wanted what she could not have. It was sad really…and not in the sympathetic, tear-jerking form of the word. It was sad in the embarrassed, can't-believe-you-actually-feel-that-way, type of sad.

Quistis felt her eyes rolling at the thoughts racing through her mind as she triggered the automatic door to open. Poking her head out to glance at the hallway, she was relieved to find that it was empty. She had a little more time to battle with her thoughts. She could surely use it.

************

"This is bullshit."

"You know what's bullshit? Is that you don't ever shut your damn mouth, Dincht."

Zell snorted, "Well I can't believe this. Since when is there a line to the Quad? I was supposed to be here like half an hour ago! Selphie is going to kill me."

The man in front of him laughed, "Maybe she'll whip you for being a bad boy."

The blond glared at his friend, "You're a perv, you know that? You must hang around Irvine a lot."

The other man laughed again, "Irvine isn't a perv. He just says what everyone is thinking. I admire him for his valor."

"Did you just use valor and Irvine the in the same sentence? I call it being a perv, end of story. But seriously, when is there a line to the Quad?"

Zell's friend grimaced, "Ever since the High Commander came in, yelled at the top of his lungs about Ultimecia and War, and then proceeded to trash the place."

Zell's eyes rounded, "SQUALL? Squall Leonhart? The High Commander? He tore the place apart? Chico, are you totally fuckin' with me right now?"

Chico shook his head, curly red hair swaying as he did so, "Hell no. Would I joke about something like this? Sure I like to joke about the dude sometimes but apparently he had some sort of melt down. I'm not about to make fun of a guy that wouldn't spare a second thought as to murdering me in broad daylight."

The martial artist shifted impatiently, "I don't believe what I'm hearing. That can't be true. It was probably just someone who looked like Squall. That's totally not Squall's personality to go in and destroy a building just because he's pissed about something. Typically he just goes and sulks in a corner somewhere."

"Apparently you don't know your best friend as much as you thought you did. I'm telling you, I know my dirt." Chico let a sly sneer pass over his face.

Zell let out a long sigh, "What?"

"I also happened to hear a rumor about you, by the way Zellinator."

Zell cocked an eyebrow, instantly halting the annoying jumping he was currently executing to help pass the time, "Me? What the hell have I done to make people talk about me? I've just been following orders. I haven't even talked to anyone that much."

Chico grinned, "It's about the other day in the café when you flipped out on Seifer."

The blond crossed his arms, "What about it? He had it coming. I can't stand that mother fucker."

Zell's friend laughed, "Dude, I don't care if you flipped your lid. I think it's funny when you freak out. It's like watching someone with attention deficit disorder experience an extreme case of Tourette's syndrome. It's awesome. But anyways, that's not what I was gettin' at. You know Angelica? Well she told me that once Quistis said goodbye to you that when she left she was crying."

'_Quisty…was crying?_' "But why? I don't understand."

"There's a surprise. Dude look, I don't know. I just say what I've been told. You did something to make her upset though. Look, I gotta get going. I don't have time to wait around for this dumb line. I wanna go and check on my assignments. With the High Commander in such a mood, I'm going to get all of my work done early so that I can avoid decapitation. Later dude!"

Zell watched as Chico darted off, his red hair bouncing the entire way. '_I have strange friends_.' He thought to himself as he glanced back at the line for the Quad. It wasn't moving at all. Perhaps it wasn't a line at all, just merely an observing crowd. "Probably the second one."

And the strangest thing came over him. Zell turned away from the Quad and headed back towards the main lobby. Surely Quistis would tell him what he had done wrong…right? "I don't even know what I said!" He whimpered, rubbing at his face angrily.

Closing his eyes he continued his absentminded walk. He didn't know where he was going but surely he would wind up somewhere.

He continued wandering for a while, his mind actually tortured for the first time in a long time, when he fell into something. "Ah shit!" He exclaimed, toppling over the object. His forehead hit the floor as he came to a stop, crushing the object he had run into underneath his weight. It was rather soft.

"Typical!" He heard one of the prissy girls that happened to be lining the hallway spit his direction, laughing snobbishly afterwards.

"Damn, I'm gonna have a killer headache," Zell grumbled, pushing himself up with his elbows.

The entire hallway had grown deathly quiet except for a few snickers here and there. His vision blurred for a moment before he finally was able to take in the students who stood around, grinning at him like they had just witnessed the dirtiest deed of their entire lives. He raised an eyebrow, "What the hell?"

The fallen object underneath him stirred. Zell's eyes rounded when he realized that it wasn't an object at all, but a person. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, pushing himself up further to get a view of whom he had crushed. '_Please don't be Seifer…please don't be Seifer_.'

Surprised eyes behind glasses stared at him. "Quisty?!" He gasped, his eyes glancing over her to make sure she was unharmed.

She didn't speak; instead she shifted under him uneasily.

Her breath snagged in her chest when he raised one of his hands from the floor to brush strands of her hair from her face. She blinked at him questioningly. He laughed awkwardly, "You had hair in your face."

Quisty made a noise something along the sound of 'oh' before he pushed himself up and off of her. He extended a hand to her, "Did I break you?" He teased, grinning at her.

She shook her head as she took a hold of his gloved hand, letting out a slight gasp as he pulled her to her feet swiftly, pulling her off of the ground for a brief moment before returning her back to the planet and her feet.

Quistis felt around her body to make sure that she was in order, "Zell I was actually looking for you. I wanted to-"

"Oh…Quistis, hold on a sec. Your skirt is like…ridding clear up. Don't move," he muttered, taking a step closer to her, eliminating any personal space she had. Her entire face burned magenta as he placed his hands on either side of her hips, grabbing her pink dress, and tugging it down to its designated area. She couldn't help but notice his scent. He smelled like the outdoors. All too quickly the moment was over and his warmth was gone.

The stars in her eyes quickly faded, "There, good as new. So, you said you were lookin' for me? What did ya need?"

She cleared her throat, brushing at her skirt a little further, "Yes…I was wondering if perhaps we could talk?"

He shrugged, "Sure, I haven't seen you in a while. Would a walk suffice?"

She nodded timidly, "Sure."

************

Selphie's eyes welled with tears as she picked up the broken pieces of decorations, "We worked so hard on all of this…"

Irvine placed a hand on her shoulder, "I know, Selphs. I know. We'll get it all fixed again."

She shook her head angrily, "No, who's to say Squall won't come back in here and trash it all again? He doesn't want us to have a festival. He wants us to focus on the task at hand. Doesn't he understand that this would help alleviate any tensions the Garden is having? We need this. We need to be able to forget about our troubles, if only for one night. He's such an asshole!"

Irvine sighed, "Selphie…please calm down."

"Never tell a woman to calm down!" She snapped, whipping around to face him. Her eyes were shimmering with anger, mouth parted as she panted for air, "Don't you get it? People think that I just like to be happy-go-lucky all the time, but I do it for a reason. If I didn't try to make people smile, then they'd all turn out to be Squall. Entirely too serious and depressed. But if I can make someone smile…just once, then I'm happy. Life is too short to be like Squall. He's going to realize that when it's too late. He sent Rinoa away when he should have her here…what if something happens? He'll die with regrets!"

"SELPHIE!" Irvine shouted, grabbing both of her shoulders now, giving her a shake, "Cut it out. What's all of this all of a sudden?"

Selphie fell into his chest, letting her hands fall down to her sides, "This is all starting to get to me, Irvy. All of this pressure. I don't want to fight anymore…I don't want to go up against Ultimecia."

His body tensed against her, "Are you trying to say that you aren't going to help Squall out?"

She didn't speak, instead he felt her bury her face into his shoulder further.

"Selphs…please tell me I'm wrong."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I can't."

Irvine's heart rate slowed as he watched her free herself from his arms and out of the Quad. Surely she was just angry about the decorations…she wouldn't leave the rest of them to fight Ultimecia without her added expertise…right?

"SELPHIE!" He exclaimed, barreling after her.

************

"It's nice out today," Zell commented, patting a spot next to him on the cement stairs that led inside the Garden.

Quistis smiled slightly as she took his offer willingly, "Yes, the weather is definitely beautiful. It won't be nice like this for long though. We should really appreciate what we have while we still can…who knows when it won't be around anymore."

Zell raised an eyebrow, "I have a feeling we aren't talking about the weather anymore."

She laughed, "You caught me. I was talking about everything. Our lives…our families…our friends. We really need to take time to think about how much they mean to us."

He didn't comment. He changed the subject entirely as if he were afraid that if he didn't get his thoughts out right then that he would forget them. "Quistis, hold on a second. I wanted to say something before we go on with this conversation any longer."

She blinked, "A-alright."

"Chico told me that a girl saw you crying when you left the café the other day. And I haven't seen you since then. I kind of suspected that you were avoiding me but I wasn't for sure. Girls aren't really my forte. But I think I was right, wasn't I? What did I do? Surely you could tell me that way maybe I can fix it? I don't want to ruin my friendship with you just because I was a douche and said something that maybe I shouldn't have."

He watched as she bowed her head, flicking around a fallen twig with her fingers, "Well…that's embarrassing. I thought no one was around to see me."

Zell gulped, "So you were crying…"

She shrugged, "Well when I feel a really strong emotion I don't know how to deal with it except to…cry."

"The people who cry are said to be the strongest people…the most intelligent. Whereas the rest of us are afraid to unleash our emotions in such a way. We are truly cowards. Don't be embarrassed of tears you shed, Quisty. Be proud that you are able to feel so much."

She nudged him with her shoulder, "Stop flattering me. Crying is just crying, nothing more and nothing less. But yes…I was crying when I left."

He leaned back on his hands, glancing up at the sky, "Alright then, could you please tell me what I did?"

Quistis felt butterflies fill up her stomach. Surely she wasn't going to admit what made her so upset…surely she wasn't about to reveal herself to him? Was she seriously going to show him her royal flush before Zell even knew that he was playing poker?

"Well it was the three of us…you, me, and Seifer. And Seifer was doing what Seifer always does…ruffling your feathers. And you two got into a screaming match."

"You didn't like me screaming at Seifer?"

She shook her head, "No Zell…that's not it. Seifer said something while you two were arguing about nerdy girls…"

Zell held his breath, his mind finally replaying the events thoroughly for him, "And then I said that I didn't go for the nerdy girl type."

She blushed, "That was about it."

"And you left right after that."

Quistis nodded, "Yeah…I know it's stupid but I-"

"I hurt your feelings."

She shook her head, "I wouldn't say you hurt my feelings, Zell…it was more like you just-"

Zell sat back up, turning to face her, one of his hands falling to her lower back, "No Quistis…I hurt your feelings. You wouldn't have been crying if I hadn't."

Quistis bowed her head again, her blonde hair falling in front of her eyes, hiding her face from his view, "Stupid huh? I didn't mean to get so upset at the fact that you don't like nerdy girls. I just…it kind of hit home for me. I mean look at me! I'm all books and work. I wear glasses and I'm paler than sour cream. I don't like to party and I'm always experimenting with something. I'm a nerd…I'll say it. I don't like to say it but I'll admit it. I can't help the way I am. But I won't change it. I just thought you were different…"

"Quistis."

The way he had said her name. He had said it so gruffly, like the air was being choked out of him. Slowly she raised her head, letting her green eyes peer at him through golden pieces of hair.

He yet again, for the second time that day, reached over and tucked her hair behind her ears, revealing her timid face to his blue eyes. He smiled softly. Her mind yelled at her. '_What does that look mean? He thinks I'm pathetic! Or does he? Damn you Zell, say something!_'

"Quistis," he whispered again, this time softer. Was he having trouble saying something? He looked pained.

There was a pressure on Quistis' lower back, and just as she was about to reach behind her and touch the pressure point, she was pulled roughly against Zell's broad chest. The gesture had knocked the air out of her chest, but she didn't mind. She glanced around at the scenery as she let her head settle on his strong shoulder, feeling his other hand join its comrade on her lower back. Slowly she raised her arms and held onto his shoulders. She couldn't help but smile when she felt his head lean against hers. No wonder Rinoa and Squall were always hugging so much…in private of course. It was so intimate. You could feel the other person's heart beat along with yours. Along with their scent, their warmth, their presence. It was then that she realized…the pressure on her lower back had been his hand pulling her to him.

She let her eyes settle closed, her smile still locked in place. The former instructor wanted to savor this, she didn't know how long it would last or if it would ever happen again. For this brief amount of time she was going to take advantage of feeling like she belonged to him, even if she didn't. In her mind, she did.

************

It was consuming. He couldn't get away from the burning feeling that took over his entire chest. No matter what he did, what he said, or what he drank, Squall couldn't rid himself of the jealous and hurt of having seen Rinoa with Chad. Seifer had been right all along. Sure, he had doubted the former enemy but after seeing their behavior together, it all fit together perfectly.

He shook his head, slumping down into a chair. Surely he had made the right conclusion. But the look on Rinoa's face…it haunted him. Like he had sentenced an innocent person to death.

"Transmission."

Squall growled obscenities under his breath, pushing himself up from his chair. He stepped over the debris from earlier, making a mental note to make Seifer clean it up later. He smirked at his childish behavior.

The High Commander leaned down and pressed a few buttons, "Origin, computer."

"Esthar City."

At least it wasn't the White SeeD ship. He could handle a call from Laguna. "Authorize it, computer."

"Understood. Connecting."

He leaned down on top of the chair, resting his chin on his gloved hand as he waited. Finally the ever flamboyant Laguna popped up on the screen.

"Squall my boy! Hey there! How's it goin'? When we goin' on that lunch date? You know I was thinking something along the lines of a place with soup. I love soup. Plus you can suck it up through a straw. That's good for people like me, trust me."

Squall stared at his father with an amazed look. The middle-aged man could hold an entire conversation without the other party even saying one word. A trait that he definitely didn't hold. Squall could barely hold a conversation when he was actually trying. The offspring narrowed his eyes in on his father's mouth to realize that he was still talking. He had better start paying attention, although he was rather sure that he hadn't missed anything of great importance.

"-And so I gave the thong back to Kiros."

The High Commander's mouth fell open in his attempt to wrap his mind around the last sentence his father had said. '_Thong?_'

"Alright so Squall, I need to stop ranting or I'm never going to get this out."

His son nodded, rubbing at his eyes. Fatigue was beginning to become Squall's ever present mistress, whether he wanted the whore around or not.

"It's about the White SeeD Vessel. I had a transmission earlier today from them."

'_God dammit_!' Squall mentally cursed, his brows knitting together with his irritation, "And?"

"You need to bring Rinoa Heartilly back to the Balamb Garden immediately."

Squall frowned, "May I ask the reasoning behind this sir?"

Laguna shrugged, "You can ask but I won't give you an answer because I don't even know why. I just think it would be in the best interest of everyone if she were to return to Balamb Garden."

The gunblade wielder stared at his father in disbelief, "So the order I gave for her to be harbored there until after the battle with Ultimecia has been overthrown? I had my reasons."

The long haired man nodded, "I know, Squall. I know you had your reasons but I don't know if your reasons were enough to keep her there. You know me Squall, I don't like to meddle-"

'_No…never. That's not your personality at all_.' Squall mentally retorted, his eyebrows almost touching as he continued to glare at his father.

"-But I can't stand to see her suffer over there. I receive a transmission from the vessel every day on an update on their status, as I do from every base, and it never fails. The cadet sending the transmission bitches about how she's unhappy and her spirit is breaking. You can't cage a songbird or it'll stop singing. Don't you understand, my boy? She needs you, regardless of whether or not you were trying to protect her. You're breaking her, not saving her. I'm sure she would rather die by your side then live on with a broken heart. Do you understand?"

The son sighed, shifting his weight to his left leg, "So I'm to have her brought back to this Garden? May I request that she not be allowed to join in the special ops team's frontal assault? That she is to remain inside the Garden during the conflict?"

Laguna grinned, "I don't care, son. Go ahead and order it as so. But you need to listen to me, alright? I left your mother to go find Ellone, leaving her to wonder about my well being. She wanted Ellone brought back home but… I could have done things a little differently. She died loving me with a constantly breaking heart. Don't let that be Rinoa's fate. Please, Squall. You can't turn off love just because you put distance between two people. It doesn't work that way."

Squall continued his nasty glare, "When did you get so insightful?"

His father laughed loudly, "Insightful? Didn't I tell you that I could teach you a few things about the ladies? I was being serious. I _am_ Mr. Smooth, son."

The brown haired man sighed, rubbing at the scar in the middle of his face, "When must she be brought to the Garden?"

Laguna beamed at him, "Well she's already being transported. I knew you were going to see it my way so I went ahead and authorized the transport."

Squall's mouth fell open, his hand falling down to his side, "What? I don't even have her dorm room ready."

"Well better get on that on the double because she'll be arriving in nearly an hour."

"Of course, sir."

The raven haired man raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest, "Excuse me?"

"DAD!" Squall corrected himself, punching the back of the chair he was leaning against.

Laguna chuckled, "I'm bound to break you of that habit, Squall. Alright, so…lunch date this Friday…unless we get attacked before then. Apparently the Magic Military is summoning all officers back to the main base for an unknown purpose. Of course we know what's going on but that just is a sign that things are about to get hairy really soon. You ready?"

Squall nodded meekly, not saying anything in response. Of course he was ready. He had to be ready. But after he had run into Selphie, who had literally screamed at him until she had a rather unsightly coughing fit, Squall had to admit, he was rather unsure about his unit. The smart thing to do was to hold a meeting and let any harbored anger out, but he wasn't about to have a group healing session. Emotions were never, and would never be his area of expertise, and he wasn't about to start acting like they were.

And although Selphie was angry with him, and he wasn't too happy with her for making him look like an ass in front of all the students, he was still replaying what she had said through his mind at an ungodly rate.

'"_I can't take this anymore, Squall. I want out. I can't follow orders from someone like you during a mission as crucial as this one. I'm sorry…but I'm going to stay behind and await orders from Seifer."'_

His ego was still bruised. She would much rather follow the former enemy of the world than take direct orders from him? Surely she wasn't the only one who felt like that…perhaps all of his comrades. He had seen the way Quistis had been looking at him lately.

"Squall?"

His father's voice brought him back from the realms of his tormented mind, "I have another request, if I may."

Laguna blinked for a moment before he nodded in agreement, "Sure, go ahead. What is it?"

"It's about the special ops team."

************

Rinoa couldn't take the excitement any longer. She was literally bouncing up and down inside the transport ship, her eyes always settled on the view of the outside world through the tinted windows.

"I can't believe I get to go back home…I'm so excited. I can't wait to see all of my friends, sleep in my own bed, and eat some of those hot dogs."

Chad laughed half heartedly, "Yeah, sounds great, Rinny."

She nodded eagerly, "It is great. And the festival will be taking place in a day or so I think. I'm gonna wear a red dress this time."

Again he laughed, "I bet you'll be beautiful."

"And I'm going to fix everything with Squall. I can't believe Seifer actually got to him…surely he can't believe that I would-"

Chad raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms, "Gee thanks, Rinoa. Nice to know that you can't believe that he would actually think that you had feelings for me."

Rinoa frowned, "I wasn't meaning it like that…it's just that when it comes to Squall-"

"No one compares."

She tilted her head to the side, smiling sheepishly at him.

Chad shook his head, "Don't feel bad, I understand. You're lucky that you've found someone like that."

"He found me…really," she whispered, "He saved me so many different times." Her eyes took on a starry quality, "You should have seen him…when he rescued me in space…I didn't have any air left. I was going to die looking at the ring Zell had taken from him for me…but then I heard him. He came for me. As I opened my eyes again I found his stormy blue eyes holding steady with mine. He had gone above and beyond what anyone else would have done. It was then that I knew. I knew that he was mine, and I was his. I knew that I loved him. And it's only grown since then…I can't even take a breath without thinking of him. He's always on my mind and in my heart."

Chad sighed, growing uncomfortable with the description of the level of love she felt for the man. The man who had, just hours ago, told her to never speak to him again, more or less.

"Hey Rin, once you get back to Garden, will you send me a transmission every once in a while that way I know how you're doing?"

Rinoa stopped short of her emotional ranting to look at a completely bewildered Chad. She went and sat next to him, "Chad…of course. You know I will. I couldn't let you go that easily, we're friends now. Friends always are there for each other."

He nodded, "Are you going to…miss me?"

It was a guilty pleasure he was getting from having her reassure her loyalties with him. It was the closest he was going to get to ever having such an exquisite human being ever tell him that they cared. Surely there was no one else as perfect for him as Rinoa was. It was horrible timing that she belonged to someone else. But with how she talked, she would never be anyone else's but Squall's. He would accept that, as long as he could have her friendship. He would always value her alliance. Always.

"Looks like we're here. Are you ready?"

She let out a squeal and pressed a kiss to his cheek, "I'm ready. I'm so glad that Laguna can't take it when he sees a girl's tears."

* * *

**ALRIGHT! Back to basics for Rinoa. Chapter 19 up in a day or so. =)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	19. Catching Up

**Disclaimer: I do not own FF8. I'm rather sad about this. I wish I owned all the Final Fantasies. Why must fate be so cruel?!**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's note: Zell's so cute. =P RUN SQUALL RUN!**

* * *

"_It's all my fault I'm sorry for the way I was to you. And it's all so wrong, you see, and I'm sorry for the words I say to you. Anything for you. Baby I need you. I wanna be you. I wanna see, see what you see in me." _Safetysuit_, Apology_

"_She said what are you waiting for? Kiss her, kiss her! I set my clocks early because you know I'm always late_." –Fall out Boy, _A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me_

_**********_

This was unreal. This couldn't possibly be happening to him. Didn't Laguna understand the plate that he had so casually dumped on his lap was already overflowing? Not that he didn't want Rinoa back on board the Garden and close to him, but it just wasn't going to work right. Would it? Surely there would be nothing but drama with a side of more drama.

He knew how the beautiful bombshell worked. It was like clock work. She would be ecstatic to be back on board and once that wore off she'd be down his throat like a hungry animal. Maybe his father just liked to see how Squall would react in a sticky situation?

"Sick bastard," he grumbled aloud to himself, placing the last book onto the damaged bookshelf he had nearly destroyed earlier in the day. He had intended to make Seifer clean it up but he didn't have the patience or the time to deal with him right now. So he went ahead and cleaned up. He was the one who did it after all.

Another thing…how was he seriously supposed to protect her from the sorceress when she's on board the Garden? The whole point of sending her away was to keep her out of sight, out of mind…not his mind of course, Ultimecia's. With her out in the open like this, if he couldn't get rid of the witch before she got a chance to retaliate, she would surely off his beloved rebel. He couldn't take it. He wouldn't.

He had sent Irvine to greet Rinoa as she boarded the Garden. He could fight a sorceress on more than one occasion, have his life flash before his eyes more than he cared to admit, but he couldn't face the woman he loved. He hated to admit it but he was…nervous. At that thought he smiled meekly.

************

Rinoa grinned at Irvine as the doors to her transport slid open. "IRVINE!" She exclaimed, launching herself out of the small room and into her friend's arms. The sniper laughed at her eagerness, holding onto her tightly.

"Welcome home, Rinoa. It's been far too long."

"You're tellin' me!" She agreed, giving his neck one final squeeze before pulling away.

Rinoa's dark eyes looked at her friend for a moment, memorizing every contour of his face for her memory's benefit. If she ever had to go away again she would make sure that her memory would serve them justice. "Irvy, you look tired."

He smiled, "Tired doesn't even begin to explain it. But don't worry about me, I just need a nap."

"Go take one."

He shook his head, "No can't do, princess. I've got to redecorate the entire Quad for the festival tomorrow night. It kind of had an accident."

"Accident? What kind of accident?"

Irvine grimaced. He didn't really want to go into detail about her lover had come and trashed the entire place. Poor Squall didn't need his image tarnished as soon as she came back but there was really no way around it.

"A whirlwind."

"What the hell is the deal with the wind here? It talks, throws chairs, and now destroys festivals?" Chad asked, leaning against the door frame of the transport.

Irvine lifted an eyebrow, "Chairs?"

"Yes. We sent a transmission earlier and there were a lot of loud noises that sounded like someone cursing and then a chair went flying across the room and into a bookshelf. I asked Ms. Trepe what had caused these incidents and she simply stated that the wind was bitchy."

The long haired man couldn't help but put a hand over his mouth to hide a smile, "She did?" He gasped, fighting off a round of laughter.

Chad's eyes narrowed in on the other man who obviously found humor in the whole situation, "I don't see how this is funny. What's going on with this base? If it's in upset I will not leave Rinoa here. I want her safe."

Irvine glanced sideways at Rinoa and caught her smiling at him. '_Hmmm, that's interesting_.' "What, you her boyfriend now? I have some bad news to tell ya but if Squall finds out about this then the wind is going to get a lot bitchier."

Rinoa blinked at Irvine, "Squall did all of that?!"

Her friend shrugged, "He's having a melt down."

"YOU SAY IT SO CASUALLY!" Rinoa yelled, knotting her fist into Irvine's duster jacket, "Has anyone tried to help him out?"

Irvine glanced down at her hand and then back up to her face, "Yeah but he won't let us help. And trust me, you think him destroying the festival props was bad, just wait until later. Selphie quit his unit."

Rinoa glared at him, "Why did she do that?"

Irvine sighed, "Squall has just got so unpredictable that she's afraid that he'll snap in battle and get us all killed. She's had a grudge against him ever since he sent you away."

The raven haired girl sighed, "I can't believe this. I thought he looked like he was unhealthy but this is-"

Chad coughed, "I really need to be going."

Rinoa turned back to her new found friend and shook her head, "I'm so sorry, Chad. I didn't mean to completely ignore you."

Irvine couldn't help but snort, "Get jealous much?"

Chad glowered at Irvine, "Jealous about what? I don't have anything to be jealous over."

"Oh please, I've been watching the way you keep looking at her. Should I just put her on a plate with some sauce that way you can eat her whole because that's what you're doing with your eyes. You look like a fuckin animal, dude. She's taken."

Rinoa glanced from Irvine to Chad. She placed a hand on Irvine's chest and then another extended towards Chad in an effort to cease the squabbling, "Cut it out. This is neither the time nor the place. There's a war that's about to start. We should all be getting along; we're on the same side. Chad knows that I love Squall. That's not a question."

"Well then tell him to stop eye-humping you."

Chad rolled his eyes, "Eye-humping? God I'm glad I don't have to share a base with you. I'm sure five minutes or more alone with you and all my brain cells would kill themselves."

Irvine's mouth dropped open, "Pardon? You wanna run that past me again?"

"STOP IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!"

Both men grew quiet at Rinoa's explosion. She was standing with her head bowed, hands fisted at her sides, "Rin?"

She shook her head, "No Irvine. Just keep quiet. Chad, I'm sorry but I'll have to say goodbye. I'll send a transmission to you in a few days to tell you how I am. But until then, you need to leave. I'm sorry," she whispered again, peering at him through her hair.

Chad swallowed and nodded, trying his best to force his anger back down into his stomach. "Alright, I'll be waiting. Until then, Lady Rinoa…stay safe."

Irvine watched the man walk back into the transport and the vessel detach from the base. He remained silent, waiting to see what Rinoa would do next.

"Irvine-"

"Y-y-yes?" He stuttered, adjusting his cowboy hat. Women scared him with how they could be sweet one second and then two headed dragons the next. It was unsettling.

"I want to see Squall."

Irvine swallowed again, "Um Rin…I would take you but I don't have the slightest clue where he's at."

"Let's find him. I need to talk with him."

'_I hate my life. I hate my life_.' "Rinny…listen, why don't we get you all settled back into your old dorm room and then we'll track down Squall? Who knows, we might even run into him while we're walking through the hallway."

She thought on this for a moment and then nodded, "Alright then."

'_SUCCESS!_' His mind screamed, relief flooding over his system, "Awesome. Let's go then. I have a lot of stories to tell you."

Rinoa brushed her hair away from her face, her face still solemn, "Tell me everything."

************

Had it been seconds or minutes? Or had it been hours? She had lost all complete track of time as soon as he had touched her. All she could think about was the feeling of his body pressed against hers, his head leaning against her, his chest rising and falling with his steady breathing. It was soothing.

It was strange; she had been alert and borderline hyper before she had decided to meet with Zell. But now that she was in his arms, listening to the pattern of his heartbeat, she was rather sure that she could fall asleep just like this. She wouldn't mind.

"Quistis?"

'_Damn_.' She jerked slightly as he said her name. He hadn't even said it that loudly it just had come so unexpectedly and jerked her from her dream world that she hadn't been able to control herself.

"Were you sleeping?"

'_Was I_?' "No. Why?"

She felt his chest vibrate with the sound of a slight chuckle, "Well you haven't said anything for like ten minutes. I thought maybe you fell asleep on me."

It was rather humorous, all in all. The poor guy had thought that an emotional woman had fallen asleep during one of his hugs. He probably had felt trapped.

"I'm sorry…I was just thinking."

"Thinking?" He repeated, "About what?"

She felt her cheeks blush yet again. If she didn't cut it out her cheeks were going to be permanently stained red, "It doesn't matter. Not a big deal."

"Hey Quisty?"

"Yes Zell?"

"Does this mean you forgive me, ya know, for what I said?"

Her heart fell. He had only been apologizing and her she was getting wrapped up in her girlish fantasies again, "Yes Zell, I forgive you," she whispered, nearly choking on the thickness of those words.

He was going to pull away. He was going to get up and give her that beautiful smile he always did and say something about going to get something to eat. He was always so happy, even when he was about to go into battle. Zell was always jumping up and down, wishing that he had an ipod to listen to while he was fighting. He said it got boring after awhile. She couldn't help but roll her eyes at herself. She had gotten all caught up in her mind that she had nearly forgotten that they were only friends.

"Awesome!" He said, squeezing her a bit tighter.

Any second now, he would go. She braced herself, gritting her teeth in preparation. Soon she would be left cold without the warmth of his arms around her. And it killed her.

"Why are you gettin' all tense? Did I squeeze too hard?" He asked her, general concern seeping through his voice.

He was still here. But why? "No…I'm just surprised."

She knew what he was doing. He was raising his eyebrow, his tattoo along with it. It was an adorable expression he made and of course she had it memorized. He made it whenever he was confused, uncertain, or just unimpressed.

"Surprised?"

She nodded, burying her face into the crook of his neck, taking in the smell of his skin. God he smelled good. '_What? Snap out of it Quistis Trepe_! _Are you seriously going to be honest and tell him why you're surprised? DON'T DO IT!_'

"I'm surprised that you're still here."

'_This is getting ridiculous. Are you serious_?' She ignored her annoyed mind for the time being. She wasn't going to have a chance like this again. She needed to be honest with him.

Quistis let her eyes sink shut again so that she could listen to his changed breathing. Her comment had made his intake of air accelerate faintly. The air had grown dangerously thick in a mere matter of seconds…or perhaps it was just her. She couldn't tell. Was it getting hot all of a sudden?

Sweat was beginning to form on her brow but she didn't dare move to wipe it away. If she made an false movement, this moment would end and disappear just as quickly as it had came about.

He shifted, leaning back so that he could look at her. Her heart cracked. '_No! No! Come back!_' She dodged his eyes. What was going on inside that head of his? Why was he so hard to read? Even though their personalities were complete opposites, Zell did have Squall's mystery down to a fine art.

"Quistis, where would I go?"

She sighed. Of course he didn't understand the gist of her statement. Or had he? This caused her to cock her own eyebrow, "I don't know…I suppose you have someone you want to meet for dinner or something?"

His chest rumbled with laughter again, "What do you think that's all I do is eat? Damn, I need to go on a diet apparently."

Her nose wrinkled in amusement. She pulled away, her arms still loosely draped around his neck, "I just thought you had somewhere you had to be."

"It can wait."

She rolled her eyes.

Zell grinned at her, his blue eyes flashing with light from the sun, "You're face is red."

"Shut up, Zell. I know," She grumbled, disentangling her arms from around his strong neck.

"Where are you going?"

Her eyes jerked back up to his, "What?"

"Do I smell?"

"N-no…I just thought that-"

"You think too much, Quisty. Just _relax_," He told her, his voice falling dangerously low with the last word he spoke.

Quistis' tongue snaked out of its domain inside her mouth to lick a layer of moisture onto her lips. Zell watched this movement, smiling at the layer of transparent liquid that layered her mouth. There it was, the sign he'd been waiting for.

Without another moment's hesitation, he pulled her snug against him again. He couldn't help but grace his mouth over hers playfully. She shivered in his arms. The butterflies in her stomach were surely going to fly out of her mouth if she dared open it at all. This was new territory. His lips had brushed over hers without actually settling on them. Was he teasing her? Was he just-

Her thoughts were silenced when his mouth pressed down onto hers, claiming her mouth for his own.

************

This was getting annoying. Irvine had helped her unpack and even ate dinner with her and still no signs of Squall, "Does he even stop in to eat?"

"I haven't seen him eat since you left. But he has to nibble on at least something or he'd be dead somewhere," Irvine grumbled, tearing off a piece of his hamburger bun.

Rinoa sighed, "It sounds like things have changed so much…and not in a good way."

"Things revolved around you a lot more than you give yourself credit for, Rin. Squall is helpless."

"Helpless?"

Irvine nodded, "He just doesn't seem to know how to act without you here. Like a piece of him is missing. It's strange. I've never seen him like this. And frankly, I don't ever want to see him like this again. It's scary."

She giggled half heartedly. She knew he was right. She had seen the shell of Squall on the transmission. He was no where near what he had been. A glorious hero had fallen into a ghost of yesterday. It was sad. "He might not even talk to me."

Her friend stared at her as he continued to pick at his food.

She continued. "Seifer told him lies about how Chad and I were together. Squall believes him."

Irvine froze, "That's why he's threatening everyone's lives…damn I thought he was just hung over."

Rinoa's eyes snapped up to meet a frightened Irvine's, "Hung over? As in…from alcohol?"

He laughed nervously, "Uh well…heheh, he's been drinking lately."

"How much?"

"I don't know Rinoa, I'm not his damn babysitter. Why can't you just try to talk to him?"

She let out a growl and stomped on his foot underneath the table, "This is serious. He's been drowning and you all have just been watching. Did anyone ever think to throw out a life preserver?"

He frowned, "Life preserver?"

Again she stomped on his foot, "Are you kidding me, Irvy? Squall is slowly suffocating. He's got a butt load of work he has to do, plus run a Garden, plus deal with his internal struggles. I'm surprised he hasn't thrown himself overboard yet."

"He was on the verge of it once when Zell snatched him up and dragged his wasted ass back to his dorm room."

Her eyes narrowed in on him, "You're not helping yourself out any. I understand that he sent me away and it didn't sit well with most of you. It didn't sit well with me. I spent most of my nights questioning my feelings for him, and questioning his feelings for me. But dammit Irvine, he's just trying to do what he feels is best. He deserves his friends, not another set of judging eyes. He already has way too many from the rest of the planet. Why can't you just support him? Help him through it?"

"He won't let us. I don't know how many times I've gotta tell you that. Shit," he grumbled, flicking a fry across the table.

Rinoa let out a whimper of frustration, "I can't believe this. I feel awful. I've been sitting over on that stupid ship second guessing Squall's feelings for me." She lowered her eyes, "He deserves more than that. I love him…he deserves for me to act like it."

Irvine couldn't say he wasn't sad when he watched her get up from the table and run out of the cafeteria. But he couldn't say he was happy either. He knew what she had in mind. And if the decorations for the Garden festival were any indication, things were going to get nasty.

************

His legs were beginning to shake underneath his weight, plus the added weight of the gunblade he was holding. Surely he would collapse. But not here, not now. He had students he was teaching and he couldn't let them see their leader succumb to weakness. They were depending on him to keep them safe. Them and the rest of SeeD, the rest of the planet.

"I still don't understand how I'm supposed to be able to tell when they're going to counter attack. What if they decide not to?"

That girl's voice was beginning to crawl underneath his skin like a disease. Surely she wasn't as daft as she pretended to be.

"That's not what he said, Karrie. He was explaining what to do if the opponent tries to counter attack."

Thank god for other men in the class. Surely he would go insane with all of these girls either asking questions, or looking for an excuse to touch him. He had never been groped so many times in his entire life.

"I still don't understand!" She wailed, letting out a growl of frustration.

"Alright, we're done."

They all froze when he finally spoke up.

"Done? But there's still fifteen minutes left. We never dismiss early," The male student offered, his face draining of color.

"I know…just take the time to study in your dorms or whatever. We're finished," Squall breathed, wiping at his forehead angrily.

Everyone nearly toppled over him as they barreled out of the training facility.

He watched for the last person to leave before he collapsed to his knees, his arms shaking under his weight. White dots settled into his vision as he fought for air. The damn whore known as fatigue had finally kicked in. Surely he would slip into unconsciousness soon. He had to get back to his dorm before anyone could see. He couldn't let them see his fragility.

With all the strength he could muster, he stabbed his gunblade into the ground and used the hilt to pull himself to his feet. His legs gave out on him at his attempt to stand. His knees yet again hit the ground. '_Shit…_'

"Come on…once again," He coaxed himself aloud, wincing in discomfort as he yet again pulled himself to his feet. He stopped to breathe for a few moments before daring to head for the door.

With each step he limped closer to the door. It seemed farther away than it normally did. '_Almost there_…'

The door swished open. His heart faltered as his dull eyes came to rest on a familiar set of dark eyes, hair, and light blue clothing. His knees buckled again, bringing him to the ground in front of her. It was all he could do to whisper her name through the dryness of his mouth.

"Rinoa."

* * *

**Dun dun dun. Now he can't run away. =)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	20. Persistance

**Disclaimer: I do not own FF8 or any of its characters.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's note: QuistisXZell=love. You know you got me hooked on them right? You know who you are. *wink wink***

* * *

"_How can I not love you? What do I tell my heart? When do I not want you here in my arms? How does one waltz away from all of the memories? How do I not miss you when you are gone?"_ – Joy Enriquez, _How Can I Not Love You?_

"_The first time ever I kissed your mouth I felt the earth move in my hands." –_Leona Lewis_, The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face_

_***********_

There she was, in all her glory. And here he was, incapacitated. '_Nice._'

Her warm, dark eyes were rounded with worry, a layer of automatic tears building pressure over those beautiful orbs he had come to worship. Her pink lips were formed into an expression of surprise, her mouth slightly agape, white teeth poking through into the realm of his vision ever so slightly. And he was sure her long black hair was blowing slightly although there wasn't any wind in here. Maybe it was just his imagination. And her body…she seemed curvier than he remembered. Was she sparkling? Squall clenched his eyes shut. He was hallucinating thanks to his lack of sleep and food intake. He was weak and in front of the one person he couldn't be weak in front of. He wouldn't be. He had to hide it as best as he could.

The need to wince and whimper and shout obscenities had never been as great as they were right now, as he pulled himself to his feet with his gunblade's hilt yet again. By the time he had less than gracefully pulled himself to his feet, Rinoa was at his side, a hand behind his right shoulder for support.

"Squall, are you alright? I thought I might be able to find you here. Irvine wasn't going to let me see you, I don't think anyways."

Her voice was light and bell-like in sound. He hadn't heard in person for so long that he had nearly forgotten how intoxicating she was. Again he squeezed his eyes shut, pushing his heart's needs away. She had betrayed him in the worst way possible. While he had been nothing but an icy walking corpse since she had been sent away, she had found refuge in someone else's arms.

A vision of Chad surfaced in his vision and immediately he brushed her hand off of his body, growling in frustration when he realized that her hand was still there.

"Get off."

Rinoa raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me? I'm finally back and the first thing you say to me is 'get off'?"

"Don't make me repeat myself," He hissed, opening one of his stormy blue eyes to warn her.

She sighed, lowering her hand reluctantly, "Fine. You just looked like you could use some help. I could have sworn there for a moment that you were happy to see me."

He didn't answer; instead he tore his weapon's blade from the surface of the training facility and walked, rather limped, to the door.

"Why are you trying to leave? Can't we talk Squall?"

He wanted to. If he was being honest with himself at all he could admit that he did want to talk to her. He wanted to do more than talk to her. He wanted to hold her, whisper about how much he had missed her into her small ears. But he wouldn't. He refused. She didn't deserve it and he wouldn't let her have it.

"I'm busy, Rinoa."

Rinoa blew a piece of hair from her eyes and ran to step in front of him, spreading her arms out in an attempt to slow down his escape.

"Squall…please?"

The High Commander didn't understand where she got the idea that he was so easy to crack. Surely she knew him well enough to know that he didn't work like a typical man…or person for that matter. He was rather sure that no one else worked quite like he did.

He didn't look at her. He would regret if he did. She would be using those big eyes and beautiful lips to prey on his weaknesses and he wouldn't fall for it.

"No."

Her arms fell back down to her sides, "Squall…I know why you're angry."

"Then I shouldn't have to stand here and suffer through this. I have things I need to be doing right now, Ms. Heartilly."

Rinoa's breathing stopped when he used her last name. He was formally addressing her. She hated it. It sounded so foreign that she was rather sure that it tasted bad as it came out of his mouth.

"Please…let me explain-"

"There's nothing to explain is there? I'm more than aware of what happened. I would rather not hear details."

His calloused behavior was at new heights. Even when she had first met him he hadn't been this bad. It was disheartening.

The former sorceress felt a burning feeling form in the middle of her chest, her breaths quickly turning irregular. Had she truly lost the one person she had ever truly loved to the lies of another? She shook her head, raising her shimmering eyes up to meet Squall's. He actually had dared a peek at her and now he regretted it.

The ice around his mood had melted ever so slightly upon seeing her pain. Why he cared he still couldn't understand. Was it because he didn't want to believe what Seifer had told him, that he didn't really believe him? But the proof had been in front of him. He had seen the way they had embraced during the com transmission when they hadn't thought he was in the room. He had seen the way the young cadet had looked at her. It made his stomach lurch at just the mere memory.

"Squall-"

Her voice…saying his name all alone as if it were her only way back into his world, it burned. But he couldn't tell if it was a pleasant burning or one of agony.

He jerked his head slightly, realizing that he had been slumping down.

"Can I at least help you back to your dorm room? You look like you're going to pass out. Irvine told me that you don't hardly eat or sleep. Why is that? And what's this I hear about alcohol?" She asked him, worry layering her tone. Not ridicule but worry.

He clenched his teeth together when he felt her touch him again, but this time it was his hand. Never before had he been so thankful for wearing his gloves as he was right at this moment. The gunblade wielder was rather sure that if she had directly touched his skin that he would surely fall to the ground in a heap of fatigue and heart ache.

"I can handle it on my own. I'm perfectly capable of functioning without you, Rinoa," He snapped, tightening his grip around the hilt of his weapon. Why had he felt so guilty with that last thing he had said? Surely he wasn't lying…he could function without her. He had been, right?

She flinched as if he had physically hit her. Immediately he regretted his harsh tone. '_She deserves it though…'_

Something snapped inside her. It was like a wall was preventing her from reuniting with the man she was madly in love with, and she was bound and determined to bust down the wall even if it killed her.

"Squall Leonhart stop being such an arrogant ass and let me help you. You're going to fall down again. Talk to me. I've missed you, you jerk!"

His mouth revealed his teeth in a dark sneer, "Jerk?" He hadn't heard her call him that in a while. It brought back a lot of memories, all of which made his heart stir.

She nodded, "You're a jerk. You're an asshole. You're a bipolar bastard but I love you and sometimes I can't stand it!"

He raised an eyebrow, "That's more than obvious. You must not have been able to stand it while you were on the SeeD vessel, huh Ms. Heartilly?"

Rinoa's lower lip began to tremble. Nothing was getting through to him. He was completely shut down, "Squall that's not the truth. Seifer lied to you."

Squall snorted, "I'm many things Rinoa. I am a jerk. I am an asshole. And yes, I might be a bipolar bastard but one thing I am not is stupid. I was in the office when you sent the transmission with that cadet. I was there the entire time. And I saw everything. It matched with what Seifer told me. You know I kind of blame myself. I've been beating myself up about sending you away to be alone this entire time but damn was that unnecessary. You weren't alone at all."

"It's not like that-"

"You know Seifer said that he asked you if you had found something to sleep with while you were over there and he said you smiled! What the hell, Rinoa? " His anger was getting the better of him. He was no longer being formal. Which she liked, but the hostility that it brought with it wasn't welcomed in the slightest.

"Chad and I-"

"That's another thing I blame myself for."

She raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

His face was wild, regardless of how pale and sunken in it was now. He was still fearsome. A truly formidable opponent on the battlefield.

"I shouldn't have…tainted you before you left. Maybe you wouldn't have felt the need to be close to someone. I sent you away right after I had…taken you. That was wrong of me and for that I am truly sorry. I should have never touched you like that. I am guilty of preying upon the passion of the moment. Perhaps that's why you felt like you needed him…maybe that's why you sought out warmth in his arms instead of waiting to find it in mine again."

A tear fell. Only one but it was all powerful by itself. He hesitated, his eyes studying her with great interest. All in one moment her shoulders slumped, mouth parted and exhaled loudly like the wind had been knocked free of her lungs. Her head bowed, letting her bangs conceal her face from him. Her hands hung limply at her sides as she stood there. And he watched as more droplets of the salty water fell to the ground silently. Had he not been looking at her he would have never known she was crying. She was a sad sight. He had punched a little too hard with his last unleashing of animosity.

He felt like he should do or say something but the warrior hadn't the faintest idea where to start. Typically he would have taken her into his arms and held her there until she had stopped crying. It wasn't particularly romantic but it was all uniquely him. He felt like if he held her long enough that she would be comforted by his presence and her sadness would leave her. And typically, it did. But with the wall that he was so deeply encased in, he found it difficult. His fingers began to throb with the need to grab her and pull her close. Who knew how long he would have to bask in the sight of her? With the new assignments for the frontal assault against the sorceress, that he had yet to inform everyone of, his time was limited. Was he going to let pride keep him from holding his beloved for what could possibly be the last time?

"Squall I never-"

It was too much. It was beginning to physically hurt now. He shook his head slightly, "No Rinoa. I don't want to hear it," Squall whispered, limping for the exit again.

"Please don't walk away," She gasped, dashing after him. He nearly fell forward when she bumped into him.

He knew his time was running out. The white circles in his vision were growing in number and the constant quaking of his body told him that if he didn't go now that he was sure to land face first in the dirt and wake up to the buzzing lights inside the infirmary. Squall then realized that he needed to meet some kind of medium with her or he'd never reach his dorm room in time.

"Rinoa, stop. Just…meet me at my dorm around nine tonight. That will give me time to…finish up my duties. We can talk further then. But for now I need to go. Don't follow me or I won't meet with you later. Understood?"

He was being aloof but she didn't mind. Any chance at seeing him to explain things further was a win for her. She nodded quickly, sniffling away the last of her tears.

She removed her body from his path and watched as he hobbled out the door. It wasn't a promise that he would listen to her but it was at least the opportunity. And that's all she asked for was an opportunity.

************

The world was spinning at an incredibly rate. Or was that just her head? '_Oh I get it…I'm dreaming. Haha, good one Quistis. Had yourself going there for a minute didn't you?_'

She opened her eyes to find that she was staring at Zell's eyelids. Her heart rate increased again upon the realization that this was in fact not a dream. He had kissed her. Zell had kissed her!

He still had his lips pressed against hers but she had yet to return the effort. Fear gripped her. What if she wasn't any good at it? She'd never even kissed someone before. What were you supposed to do? Sure she knew the mechanics of it all but actually doing it was different. There was an unforeseen weight that had fell onto her shoulders. What if he didn't like the way she kissed? What if she had uneven lips? What if-

The soft pressure on her mouth ended. '_NO_!'

"Did I do something wrong?"

He sounded upset and a little worried. The dazed look in her eyes quickly faded once she realized that he had pulled away somewhat to look at her. His dark blue eyes were completely focused in on her.

She gasped at his assumption, "No, why would you think that?"

Zell shrugged, letting a lop-sided grin pass over his face, "Well you didn't really react. I thought maybe I crossed the line. I just thought that we were on the same page."

'_SAME PAGE?!_' Quistis cleared her throat, "What do you mean?"

He frowned, the grin fading away as quickly as it had surfaced. Immediately she felt sad. "I just thought…I thought that you wouldn't mind if I…kissed you."

She shook her head, "I…I d-di-didn't."

The former instructor watched as he tried to wrap his thought process around what she had said, "But you didn't…do anything."

If he thought she had been blushing earlier it was nothing compared to the bright red that consumed her cheeks now, "What?"

She let her eyes focus on something off to the right," I didn't mind…honestly. I liked it. But I just….I've never-"

His eyes enlarged at her unfinished comment, "You've never actually kissed someone?"

She sealed her eyes shut with utter mortification, "No."

"I knew you were a virgin but I…"

Then she heard something that made her want to run for cover. He was laughing. Her eyes shot open to find him indeed laughing. He was making no effort to hide it from her either, "It's not funny."

"Yes it is."

Quistis wanted to slap him but she didn't know if she would be able to. Zell was incredibly quick when it came to reflexes. He was a martial artist after all. It was his specialty.

"No it's not Zell."

He stopped his snorkeling laughter to smile at her, "I'm not laughing at you, Quisty. I'm laughing because it made me happy."

She raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"

"Well yeah, it makes me happy. I thought I had crossed the line. You were just uncertain of what to do."

Had he been nervous that he had upset her? She smiled back at him, "That transparent am I?"

He shrugged, "I've learned how you react to things. I've been friends with you long enough to know how you work, Quisty."

She bowed her head, "I'm sorry. I'm so awkward."

Zell let his index finger frame underneath her chin, tilting her face upwards again, "Don't be awkward. Like I said, just relax. Go with it. Do what your body tells you."

Quistis nodded, watching as his eyes closed again and he drew his face closer to hers once more. Again her heart fell into a sporadic pattern, thumping so hard against her chest that she was sure he would be able to feel it. It was going to happen again. The gift he had so freely given her he was about to give to her a second time.

This time she would be ready to accept it and return the favor. Her eyes sank shut as his mouth found hers again, the soft pillows of flesh warm against her own. This time she moved her mouth against his, sighing as he pulled her to him tighter this time.

Now she knew what all the fuss about kissing was about…it was magical.

************

Seifer grinned devilishly at her. He knew she had figured out his game but he didn't care. It was entertaining. The blond sighed as he leaned against the back of the bench located in the hallway of the main lobby.

Rinoa put her hands onto her hips, daggers rapidly freeing themselves from her eyes and lodging themselves into his face. Or at least she wished, "How can you even live with yourself? You know that what you did was wrong. You ruined Squall, Seifer. How could you do that when you know what he's going through already?"

He shrugged, "It was easy. I like to watch Leonhart suffer. It's the reason I was created, I think."

She shook her head, "Alright so let's try this from a different angle. How could you do that to me? We're friend Seifer. You knew that if you preyed on his emotions that I would be indirectly hurt as well."

He rolled his eyes, "Oh come off the dramatics, Rinoa. You finally get to come home and you use this opportunity to yell at everyone? How about you just act happy that you're home where you belong?"

"That's not the point, Seifer. What you did was cruel and unjustified. Squall trusts you to run this Garden in his absence. Can't you at least just be mature for once and leave him alone? Don't you understand the kind of pressure he's under?"

Seifer nodded, "Yeah and I knew when I told him that. It's just too much to resist. He'll get over it. Besides, I like this Squall better. He's a lot more snappy and wasted. He does funny things when he's trashed."

She glared at him, "You know what? One day you're going to get what's coming to you and I just hope that I'm around to see it because you'll definitely deserve it."

He clutched at his chest, "That hurt right here, Rinny. Seriously, just come off the Squall issue. Aren't you at least happy to see me?"

Rinoa laughed with disbelief, "Are you kidding me? You tried to mentally cripple the man I'm in love with! And you tarnished my reputation as a result. How could I be happy to see you?"

He shrugged, "Well it'll hit ya. Whenever you wanna catch up just come find me in dorm 17-b alright? But knock first…I have Angelica coming over to see me tonight…unless you're into that kind of thing then just let yourself in."

The smirk on his face was nothing short of greasy, "You sicken me." She wanted to wipe it off of his face, and she intended to. She reared her hand and let a loud smack land against his cheek.

Seifer raised an eyebrow, almost as if he felt nothing, before getting to his feet and walking off towards the office, "Don't act like you weren't thinking the same thing."

************

The rest of the day passed by quickly. Squall didn't remember anything after he closed the door to his dorm room behind him. He woke to find that he was laying on the floor. It didn't take long for him to realize what had happened. As soon as the door had shut he had collapsed into a heap of fatigue and mental frustration.

He cursed as he pushed himself up with tired arms, glancing around to find a clock. It was nearly nine. His body had apparently set its own alarm clock, waking him up just in time for his meeting with Rinoa.

Squall reached up and hoisted himself to his feet with the help of the counter inside the room. There was no time to shower so instead he sauntered over to the fridge and grabbed the ingredients necessary to make a sandwich.

At the end of preparing the basic meal, he glanced down to find that it was sloppily put together. He grumbled in annoyance as he tossed the unneeded items back into the fridge and picked up the sorry excuse for a sandwich. He was about to bite into it when a knock sounded at his door. His heart skipped a bit automatically. Mentally he cursed himself for being so elated at a mere visit from her.

Leonhart set the sandwich back down onto the counter and headed towards the door. He pressed a couple of digits on the alarm panel and walked away as the door slid open, revealing the all too familiar woman on the other side.

She was dressed differently though. She had on a pair of skin tight shorts and a tank top. Apparently this is what she used to sleep in. 'Or seduce.' He thought sourly, going to stand behind the counter. He picked up his sandwich yet again in an effort to make himself eat.

"Hi."

He grumbled something to himself as he set the meal back down onto the napkin and leaned forward onto his hands. He knew he hadn't said anything to her upon her arrival. He had hoped that she would pick up on the lack of interest he was giving her. Instead she ignored it, like she always did. It was a classic Rinoa gesture and he couldn't help but feel a little twinge of happiness flit through his mind.

"Hey."

Rinoa smiled at him, sitting down on the barstool. "This is a big dorm room. It's a lot different than your old one."

He shrugged, "Laguna sent people in and made a master room for the 'High Commander'. I couldn't stop them."

She giggled, "Well it's nice."

Squall stared at her, blinking lazily. Was she seriously going to try and talk to him about nonchalant things? Hadn't they just had a falling out earlier?

"Whatever. It's just a room."

At his attempt to brush her off, she simply smiled. "So…did you finish up with your duties?"

He cleared his throat, "Sure…"

"You don't look as tired. I wonder if maybe you were sleeping instead?"

The anti-social man narrowed his eyes in her direction, "What's it matter?"

"You should just ask for help, Squall. It's not going to kill you."

He shifted his weight, a classic sign that he was getting perturbed. Rinoa let her hand cover her mouth at her attempt to hide her laughter, "Sorry, just sayin'."

Squall rolled his eyes as he walked to the other side of the room and slid out of his jacket. He striped his hands of his gloves as well, putting them into his jacket's pockets. It was only a few moments before was back on the other side of the counter in only his wife beater and pants. It almost like he was naked.

Her body temperature rose slightly. No…not even close. He was definitely a sight to see completely striped of his clothes.

"So can we just get this over with so I can go on with my life?" He snapped, his fingers gripping roughly on the surface of the counter. Squall was no fool. He had caught her eyes resting on his flesh.

She nodded, "Yeah, sorry."

"I don't even know why I agreed to this. I said everything I needed to say earlier."

Rinoa shook her head, "Because I think you don't really believe what Seifer said and I think you think that if you talk to me a little longer that you'll be able to decide for yourself. And if that means having you yell at me and say hurtful things the entire time then I'll sit here and let you do it. I want you to believe me. I'll do whatever it takes."

There was that resolve that he loved. A challenge.

"You're wasting your time."

"Maybe but I can't think of anything I'd rather waste my time on other than you."

This was pathetic. Was she seriously going to try and compliment him into believing her? It wasn't going to work.

"Look Rinoa, I really don't have the time or the energy to waste on this. Just say what you need to say."

"You can't possibly believe Seifer. He just tries to get under your skin at any cost. You don't think that's what he did? He'll admit it to you if you ask him."

Squall stared at the wall, "It doesn't matter…I know what I saw. My eyes won't lie to me."

"Squall, he was just trying to comfort me. He knew how much it meant to me to reach you and when you were yet again busy it hurt me. I needed you. So he consoled me. He's just a friend, please believe that."

He shook his head, "No…I refuse. I seen the way he looked at you."

"He can look at me all he wants but did you see me looking at him?"

Squall remained silent. This earned one of those devastating smiles from Rinoa, "Exactly. Why can't you just trust me? Squall…" She whispered, getting to her feet and joining him on the other side of the counter.

He recoiled, going to stand in the corner of the kitchenette, "Stop."

She did as he commanded, remaining stationary in her current position. "Can I ask you something?"

This was dangerous territory. Rinoa and questions were never a good combination. Still, he couldn't resist, "Fine."

She tapped her fingers against the counter top, "Do you…really regret…being with me?"

He froze and made no effort to answer her. She continued regardless, "You told me earlier that you regretted ever touching me…you said you had preyed upon the passion of the moment. Do you really mean that?"

For the second time that day his fingers throbbed to hold her. She was exposing herself. After everything he had said she was still here, still wasting all of her love on him.

There was no way around an answer to this question. She would fight for his answer and he knew it. "Rin-"

She shook her head, biting on her lower lip, "Never mind. I don't want to know…please just tell me that you love me."

Alright…he was confused. What was going on? Hadn't she just asked if he regretted taking her virginity and now she was asking him to tell her that he loved her? Was she…breaking too?

Before he had a chance to demand for her to stop, she was in front of him, her hands fisting into his wife beater. Her eyes were expectant, unprotected. It was disturbing. Was she being desperate?

"Rinoa…"

She buried her face into his chest. It wasn't long until he felt moisture against his chest, leaking through his shirt. Again his heart fell. He was making her cry again.

"Please tell me that even if you can't believe what I say that you still love me. That you never stopped. That a part of you will always be mine. Please…"

She listened to a rumble pass through his chest but nothing more. He remained painfully silent.

* * *

**X_x C'mon Squall, DAMN! Heheh. Next chapter up tomorrow more than likely. Hope you liked it. =)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	21. Do I?

**Disclaimer: .Own. XD**

**Rating: M for language, violence, sexual content, and drug reference. **

**Author's note: Cliff hangers…I'm sorry.**

* * *

"_Do I have your love? Am I still enough? Tell me don't I? Or tell me do I?"_ – Luke Bryan, _Do I?_

"_I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain. It's 2 a.m. and I'm cursin' your name. You're so in love that you act insane." – _Taylor Swift_, The Way I Loved you_

_************_

"_Please tell me that even if you can't believe what I say that you still love me. That you never stopped. That a part of you will always be mine. Please…"_

Squall stood there, transfixed in a dream-like state. All he could do was stare at his former employer from Timber. She was upset at his lack of words. Was she not the one who came in here and said he looked tired? Did she not understand that the sandwich sitting idly on the counter had been whispering sweet nothings to him since she had arrived?

His eyes fell from hers to find the sloppy sandwich still in its spot halfway on the counter, halfway hanging off the edge. His mouth began to salivate instantly.

"Squall, please just answer me. How can you stand there and not say anything at all? Was everything we ever accomplished together…everything we ever said or did with one another…was it all just fake? A whimsical fantasy that I had?" She whimpered, jerking him down closer to her face.

He glanced down at his wife beater that happened to be being held prisoner in her death grip. Mentally he reminded himself that he'd probably have to throw it out.

Long strands of brown tousled hair fell in front of his eyes as she jerked him forward again. She was desperately searching for an answer that the hard headed warrior refused to give her. If he wanted to play that game then two could play. Where he was silent, she was persistent. He wasn't going to get off the hook so easily.

She heard him grunt as she jostled him again, "Squall?" Rinoa breathed, releasing one of her hands from the confines of his shirt to brush the hair from his worn face, "Please just answer me. And if you want me to, I'll leave. All I ask is that you answer me first."

"Rinoa, stop."

Her worried eyes wandered up to find the ice orbs that belonged to the High Commander fixated on her. Immediately her breath was stolen from her. Just one look into those eyes could completely unravel her from the center of her being. It was a wonderful curse that she had the pleasurable misfortune to bear.

Immediately she froze, just as he commanded. A power Squall had over her was the ability to render her useless whenever he spoke to her. Whatever his command, she adhered to.

"Why are you doing this? I'm the one who should be at my wit's end."

The young woman cleared her throat and released his shirt, taking a step backwards, "You're right. I'm sorry."

He brushed his shirt down to the best of his ability, rolling his eyes at the sight of the stretched fabric that was shaped into bony knuckles.

"Sorry about your shirt," She muttered, watching as he took in the sight of his trashed garment.

At this he merely shrugged and took a step away from her, "I have more."

His beautiful rebel was standing there, holding onto one of her arms, the other dangling idly down by her side, hair poking out in different directions, lower lip trembling, eyes darting around the pattern of the floor. She was a complete and utter mess.

Comforting her was what he should do. But could he? Could he let go of the anger that he had bottled inside of him if only for the briefest of moments and hold her close like he used to?

Surely it wouldn't hurt…she wasn't spikey. She couldn't stab him if he touched her. Then why was he afraid of such a pain to occur in him from merely touching her?

He continued to look down at her, body unmoving. She was more than aware that he wasn't making any attempt to speak to her or console her. He was just letting her go.

"I'm just going to…go," She finally managed to choke out, turning for the door.

Squall cleared his throat slightly, shoving the sandwich back onto the counter before making a feeble attempt of chasing after her.

She was fiddling around with the key pad when she whipped around, eyes wild and hurt, to stare at Squall angrily, "Would you please open the door? I want to leave."

He didn't speak, instead he walked over to the key pad and punched in a few numbers, his finger hovering over the last digit that would release the lock and let Rinoa walk out the door.

Her eyes were watching his hand as if he was about to disarm a bomb. Eager and uncertain.

The alarm waited and beeped, signaling that the lock was indeed still in place and had not been disarmed. Her mouth fell open slightly, exposing the bottom halves of her teeth, "Squall, are you deaf? I want to leave!" She tried again, this time a little more snappy. If she was forceful maybe he would respond. He always seemed to react to force a little better than he did a common plea.

His hand lowered away from the key pad, slowly lifting his head so that he could better look at her. Her shoulders were rising and falling with irregular breaths. Was she afraid? Of course he had been less than…understanding this past month or so but surely the stories she had been told wouldn't leave her afraid to be locked in the same room with him, would they?

He wasn't moving. He wasn't unlocking the door. He wasn't talking. He didn't even look like he was breathing, which had to be false because he was still standing, still holding her within the realms of the ice storm that was his eyes. She had to try again. The air had become increasingly thick with every second she was left inside this loveless atmosphere.

She had heard stories of how love falls apart at the seams and everything unravels at an ungodly rate afterwards. Such was the theme here. Seifer had taken her relationship with Squall and crushed it, preying upon Squall's weaknesses. A finger hadn't been lifted by either person in the actual relationship; it had been an outside force. It was ironic really.

When she was little she had often told her friends that when she found prince charming, at that she smirked a little, that they would be together forever and for always. That nothing would ever tear them apart. And just like clock work her friends would all coo their approvals and proceed to provide instances to prove her resolve.

'"_What about other girls?"_

_She would shake her head._

"_Distance?"_

_Another shake of her short black hair. _

"_Friends?"_

_She would grin and shake her head again._

"_Death?"_

_The final ultimatum, something so permanent that even love couldn't cross the gap between life and death. But Rinoa had simply shook her head again, "Love is eternal. Nothing can break it."_'

It seemed rather silly now. She had been dreaming. Of course such principles didn't apply in the real world. People were falling in and out of love everyday. It was as normal as breathing. But for the life of her, if everyone felt like this, no wonder some people chose to end their lives instead of suffer through it in hopes of finding a replacement love.

"Why can't you just open the door?" She begged, her teeth sinking down into the soft skin of her lower lip.

Squall shifted uneasily. He wasn't quite sure why he wouldn't open the door. He knew he should. He knew he was angry with her. No, he was furious. He was devastated. He was hurt and god, how he hated it! Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was red. Raw, unrequited jealousy sparking through his being. He couldn't escape it. If he paused to close his eyes through out the day, he would see it. If he tried to instruct his combat course, he would end up taking all the frustrations he could muster out on the closest fiends, scarring the students in the process.

This sort of emotion often left Squall to think entirely too much, and it was never a pretty picture.

Whether it was Rinoa scantily clad on the SeeD vessel with Chad hungrily licking his lips, or eating away provocatively at her meals, which he was sure she did while she was out of his sight and out of his wrath's reach, her tongue always swirling around her eating utensils a little longer than it should. And then it would often morph into something much worse, something a lot more detailed and frightening. With a lot less clothes and lots of moaning.

And every time he watched her clothes her eyes he couldn't help but wonder if she was picturing the young cadet from the other vessel, if only briefly. Before everything had happened he had experienced no such paranormal feelings of intense loathing, except in the case of Seifer, which happened to be a completely different instance. Whenever he had time to think, it would usually turn into an all out Chad-murdering session.

Mentally, of course. Apart from his growing hatred for the young man, Squall knew the SeeD's background. He was a skilled fighter and much needed for their fight against the sorceress.

Speaking of which, couldn't she just get all of this needless suffering out of the way and put him out of his misery? Surely it would be a win-win situation. She'd be fulfilling her revenge and he wouldn't have to suffer through this pain any longer. He wouldn't even make an effort to take out his gunblade. He'd stay perfectly still and just let her off him.

"Squall!"

His eyelids sank closed when he realized that he had been wrapping himself into his web of nauseating thoughts, leaving a stunned and slightly afraid Rinoa to stand by and simply watch. He reopened his lids only slightly, enough for pieces of striking blue to peer through long lashes down at her.

She was confused. "Are you…are you alright? You looked like you were going to be sick." Then she caught herself lowering her defenses to the man who had refused to at least tell her if he ever truly loved her, "Never mind. I don't even know why I'm asking. It's like talking to a wall. Open the door."

He raised an eyebrow. Was she trying to insult him? A slight curve of his lips showed her that a smirk was passing over his pallid lips. She wasn't sure how she felt at that slight gesture. Relief or a stronger form of fear. She glanced over at the locked door and realized that it was a combination of both. Was that possible?

She coughed, trying to clear her throat, or rather to ensure that her voice did not break when she spoke again. Squall immediately recognized this familiar motion of hers as one of nervousness. Another layer of ice tried to melt on him. Surely holding her in his arms wouldn't be that bad. Things were going to change very soon. Shouldn't he at least indulge her in her need to feel loved?

He still couldn't believe that she had truly asked him if he had ever loved her. If a part of him would always belong to her. Was she that naïve? Was she seriously questioning his feelings for her? Feelings didn't just disappear at the click of one's fingers. They lingered. And sometimes even destroyed.

"Is that an order?"

Her mask of emotional detachment quickly faded upon finally hearing him speak. He perplexed her. What was she to say? Was it an order or more of just an attempt to get him to speak to her? An ultimatum perhaps? She had no answer, only a mind filled with increasingly muddy thoughts.

He took a step away from the key pad and another towards her. She froze. What were his intentions? Since when had she thought of Squall's actions as anything less than admirable? The man hadn't even wanted to sleep with her honestly. He had wanted to simply say goodbye and give her what she wanted one last time. Weren't the intentions noble at heart?

"N-no."

His chest rumbled again, had he groaned? She wasn't for certain.

"Seriously, do you want to leave, Rin?"

Rin? He was calling her Rin? When had the casualness come back into the room? Last time he had called her Ms. Heartilly. One thing about Squall, whether or not she enjoyed it but rather accepted it, was that he could be a bit bi-polar sometimes. But perhaps not so? In his mind he had worked things through at an alarming rate, leaving her to stand open mouthed in the dust. What conclusion had he arrived at?

The weight of his question still haunted her. Was he indirectly asking her to stay? Confused. That was the only way she could explain herself. Extremely confused and…excited?

She shook her head, trying her best to remain composed. He was rendering her completely helpless and a part of her liked it. It had been so long since she had talked to him or been in his presence that any form of interaction stimulated her love for the man.

Again another rumble from his chest. Or was that his stomach? She glanced over at the counter and realized that the sandwich he had been about to eat prior to her entrance remained untouched. '_He's just hungry…_' But for what?

"Ask me again."

Dark eyes took him in, trying to decipher his statement, "What?"

"Ask me your question again."

He asking for a replay of her meltdown from earlier? So this was his sick and twisted plan? To make her break from the inside out? She swallowed. As much as she wanted to smack him across the face for wanting to make her relive the moment, she indulged him.

"Tell me you love me. That you always will. That a part of you will always be mine. Please?"

His eyes flashed with an emotion so briefly that she had been unable to distinguish its context.

"So you have the nerve to ask me again? The first few times weren't a mistake after all."

She blinked, "What?"

In another step towards her, he was towering over her. He grabbed her roughly by the upper arms and pushed her into the counter, "You meant it."

Rinoa's wall of anger quickly faded the moment he placed his hands on her, his eyes soft around the edges as he looked at her. "I…I need to know. I'm so confused…everything's different."

"That's what you've let yourself believe, that everything is different. The only thing different is the world."

She raised an eyebrow, "Like I said, everything is different."

"Just because everything else is different doesn't mean that my feelings are."

The light bulb inside her head flashed on and nearly blinded her thoughts, "You…you still-"

"If you really believe that I could just stop having feelings for you then you are truly lost."

She swallowed. Feelings. Not what she had been searching for but with Squall it was more of a simple notion rather than a set of words. Actions were much louder when it came to him. And his eyes were all the action and words combined that she would ever need. She had hurt him. Even if she hadn't done what Seifer had accused her of, her reaction to the claim had made her doubt his feelings and in short, doubt him. Doubt them.

"Squall I-"

His fingers were tightening and loosening around her arms as he stood there and breathed, pondered of what to say or do next.

"You…you doubted me."

He returned his eyes to hers.

She nodded, "You took what Seifer had said as the truth instead of asking me first."

"I didn't need his word, I watched you with my own eyes."

A shy smile came onto her face, the first one he had actually seen her give him that was sincere since her return, "I was hugging my friend."

He blinked. A foreign idea and action, one that he had never truly experienced.

She giggled slightly, "Don't you see Selphie and Zell hug all the time? Or Quistis and Irvine? Or Irvine with every woman on the base? It's just something you do to show that you have strong feelings for someone. That you value them, that they mean something to you. It doesn't have to be love or intense feelings of lust. Trust me, when Irvine hugs me it hasn't anything to do with lust on my end. His end of the bargain might be a little tainted but that doesn't matter. As long as my intentions aren't wrong, then the act isn't wrong. Haven't you ever just seen Zell or someone and just got so overwhelmed with the need to show them how much they mean to you that you just wanted to grab a hold of them and give them a big bear hug?"

His lip curled up in a disgusted fashion, "Definitely not."

Again she laughed, prior anger or hostilities quickly forgotten under the lack of experience in the social department of Squall Leonhart. He was truly something else.

"Well trust me; people do that type of thing all the time. Chad is my friend, Squall. He was protecting me. He was helping me contact the Garden just so I could talk to you. He knows perfectly well that every beat that my heart gives is all for you and only you."

"Then why would Seifer-"

She cut him off, placing a finger on his lips to silence him. Her face took on a humorous expression as she tilted her head to the side, "Do you really need to ask? You know Seifer better than anyone. You know how he works and you know that he thrives off of making you upset. He watched Chad give me a hug and warped it into a sick joke."

He felt like a moron now. Surely he hadn't fallen for Seifer's trick so easily.

Squall turned his face to the side so that he could stare into a dark corner, "I see."

"So all the drinking was for nothing."

"I was drinking before Seifer even told me that. Before Seifer even came back to Garden. I started drinking a few days after you left," He corrected a little smugly, turning his face back to hers.

She glared at him, "Squall Leonhart-"

It was with the use of his full name that he remembered just how beautifully she said it. With a passion and fervor that no one else would ever be able to utter it with. It tore through him like a hot knife to butter.

He was rather sure she had been about to say something but she had stopped shortly after saying his name. He raised an eyebrow, "What?"

Rinoa was fighting for air. Was he aware that his hands were still wrapped around her upper arms and causing her discomfort, but only in the most stimulating of ways?

"Can I ask you another question, High Commander?"

He rolled his eyes at the use of his rank, "What?"

"Did you mean what you said earlier…about regretting…that."

His hands tightened around her upper arms again, causing a pleasant friction between her exposed arms and his naked hands.

"Do you ?"

He was answering her question with a question. God how she hated that. A habit he knew would thoroughly irk her but knew she didn't have the will to argue with him about it, "No."

Again his lip curled up to expose his white teeth, glistening with the low light of the room. He made no attempt to answer her. And it infuriated her.

"Well? I answered your question before you even answered mine. How about a response?"

She was frustrated. And he loved it.

Again she forced him a glare, "Squall!"

He silenced her. And she didn't mind one bit. She smiled into his lips as they covered hers. There was her answer.

************

Irvine sighed, cleaning up his dorm a little, casting weary glances at his dorm's door every spare second he had. Still no Selphie. Had she jumped ship entirely? Why had she decided to quit Squall's unit? Surely she couldn't feel any safer with Seifer than she did with Squall as the leader.

It was all too confusing. Rinoa was back and surely Squall would be able to recollect his thoughts. Things were going to get better, weren't they?

His mind lingered on Squall. He knew that Selphie had gone straight to the High Commander after her explosion in the Quad. He knew she had told him. He was no fool. If he knew one thing, he knew Selphie. She would get the monkey off of her back as soon as she could. But still no appearances from Squall. Or Selphie. No meetings held to discuss the change in the unit. Nothing.

Irvine kicked at his couch, growling with anger as he plopped down and dropped the clothes he had gathered into his arms as a result, "This is such bullshit. Why can't we all be on the same damn page for once?"

He chuckled at his own question, "Here I am being all responsible and no one is around to see it."

This made him roll his eyes at himself. But he knew he was right. They all needed to regroup and they needed to go it quickly. Time was wearing dangerously thin.

* * *

**Alright so there's chapter 21. I gotta give you all cliffhangers right? ;) **

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	22. Fear

**Disclaimer: No own-age on my part. **

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content. **

**Author's note: Irvine's moment of being responsible was truly one in a million and the only one to witness it was him. *sigh* What a cruel world. ;) Thanks for all the reviews everyone. I love to hear how the story is going for you. They always make me smile. So thanks again. **

* * *

"_Baby I didn't treat you quite as right as I should have. Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have. Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time. But you were always on my mind_." –Michael Buble, _Always On My Mind_

"_Every time I see your bubbly face, I get tingles in a silly place. It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose. Wherever it goes I always know. You make me smile, please stay for a while now. Just take your time wherever you go."- _Colbie Cailat_, Bubbly_

_***********_

Bliss. Was there any other word for it? Surely this is what you would label this exact moment as. Pure, sweet, passionate bliss. It had been far too long since she had felt something this extraordinaire. And it was over far too quickly. The pressure left her mouth and released her of her dream-like state.

She felt…groggy? Perhaps. He had taken her from this world and delivered her to a heaven that she hadn't been to in the longest of times. And then she had come crashing back down into reality, leaving her breathless and hungry for more.

"Why did you stop?" She breathed; keeping her eyes sealed shut, face begging for more.

In. Out. She could hear him breathing, slowly, evenly, as he always did. Whereas she was left breathless, gasping for air desperately. All from one simple kiss. Surely it was against the laws of nature for one person to have this much control over someone. It was unnatural, even by magical standards.

"I have to."

Her brow furrowed together with lack of understanding, "Why?"

He was hesitating. A sign that he was thinking far too hard of an excuse when the answer was a simple one. He was trying to spare her. Of what, she did not know. But she knew her lover well enough to know when he was saving her feelings, her emotions. Whether or not he was tactful about it was another thing entirely.

"Squall…why?"

He was shifting. She could feel his hands leave her upper arms to fall down and let his fingertips press against her own. A light form of touching, but a form nonetheless.

It was so frustrating. How he could go from totally being on the same page as her, as to not even reading the same damn book was beyond her. She had thought they were on the same brain wave. He had realized Seifer's lies. He had even taken the liberty of clearing the air of any doubts she may have had with one solid kiss. And then here he was, moments later, hardly touching her, not answering her, not saying anything.

She could hear the ticking of the clock. Another thirty ticks and still nothing. Was opening her eyes the right choice? Surely everything would quickly fade away and leave her back in the emotional rut she had been prior to walking through his dorm room's door.

"Please tell me why," Rinoa tried yet again, squeezing her eyelids together a bit tighter, her fingers wrapping around his, intertwining their fingers. They were so different. Her hands were soft, smooth, porcelain. His were rough, calloused, and scarred. But without one, you couldn't have the other. Much like their lives together. It was either the two of them as one entity or neither of them.

He shifted uneasily, straightening his fingers, giving his hands a slight pull, wishing to free his digits from her grasp. Still, she held on.

"Squall…please," She cooed, her eyes remaining shut as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He was ice cold. Surely it was just the fact that she was so incredibly warm. She was sure that she was beginning to sweat.

Squall took in a deep breath, giving her fingertips a slight squeeze, "I don't want to hurt you anymore, Rinoa."

She frowned, those pouty pink lips glistening with clear moisture from their last kiss, "What do you mean?"

"I-"

Quickly she shook her head, "Just say it. Don't sugar coat it, don't walk around it, just say it. Please, just be direct with me."

"Alright," He whispered, his eyes taking in the bewildered sight of her. She was eager for his reasoning but afraid of what his answer would be. He had managed to kill any happiness she had experienced just moments ago. Yet again he was letting her down.

"I don't want to burden you anymore, Rinoa."

She shook her head, squeezing her eyes together tighter. Silently denying that he was any sort of burden to her. She remained silent however, continuing to wait for the rest of his explanation.

"I can't continue to play with your emotions when I know what is to come."

"What's coming?" She whispered, pressing her forehead against his chin.

She felt him swallow and was he…trembling?

"Squall?"

"There's been a change to the original battle plan, Rinoa. A huge one. One that will affect my entire unit."

"What's happened? What have you done?"

"Rinoa I-"

"JUST SAY IT! I CAN'T TAKE NOT KNOWING!" She screamed, freeing one of her hands to pound away at his chest for a moment. Nothing that would cause any damage, just a small outlet of anger.

"I haven't even told the others yet."

"I want to know."

"I'm going to fight Ultimecia."

Rinoa raised her head, causing a slight distance between their faces, finally opening those dark brown eyes to look up at him.

"I know that."

"You don't understand. Selphie quit my unit."

The raven haired girl glared at the mere mention of Selphie's lack of dedication, "Irvine told me. I can't believe that she would do such a thing. You just need to talk to her, Squall. She'll come around."

"She made me think."

Something hung heavily over their heads. She wasn't sure what he hadn't told her yet but she was quite sure that it was going to devastate her.

"Think about what, Squall?" She whispered, her eyes beginning to shake with her mounting fear.

"What about the rest of my unit?"

Her tongue snaked out to wet her shaking lips.

"They're just as unsure as she is. They haven't said anything but I can see it on their faces. They think that while I'm intoxicated that I lose all reasoning but they're wrong. I see the way they look at me. I know how they whisper amongst themselves when I'm not around to hear them. I know that they're afraid of going into battle with me. Before it wasn't even a question, they would follow me into battle heart and soul, but that's changed recently. My behavior has, for the first time in our entire being of knowing each other, caused them to doubt me. Fear for their lives while under my command. I know what they're feeling."

Rinoa shook her head, a wall of liquid forming in her reddening eyes, "Just give them time-"

"We don't have time, Rin. That's what I keep trying to tell everyone. Time is not an ally of ours, we must not fall victim to circumstance. We must be prepared. So I have made an alternate plan for the initial special ops team. I have had it approved by President Laguna Loire and thus this is how it is to be."

"What have you had approved?" She whispered, a hand touching his cheek in an effort to make him focus on revealing himself to her.

He was swallowing again. '_I wish he'd swallow that stupid pride and tell me!_' She mentally chastised, raising an eyebrow at him.

"The special ops team will consist of Irvine, Zell, Quistis, and Selphie. Seifer will be giving the commands."

"You didn't say anything about you or me."

"You aren't to be involved with the combat. You have been removed from SeeD until after the war."

Rinoa's brow wrinkled with disappointment, "But I would be a valuable asset! I can use magic the best out of anyone on this Garden. You can't possibly be being serious with me right now."

"I am," He murmured, his eyes flashing with his warning. "And that's not changing. We can't risk having you around the sorceress during the conflict. She could possess you, or far worse. You are to stay on this vessel until after the fighting has come to an end."

Again she hammered a hand to his chest, "Squall no, you can't do this to me. I want to fight too. They're my friends as well. And this is my world too. I want to be out there with all of you."

"I will not let you accompany me or the special ops team."

Suddenly the air in her lungs seemed to dissolve as silence took over the room yet again. She couldn't hear him breathing either. Was he holding his breath as well?

"You or the special ops team? Last time I heard you were a part of the special ops team. That you were the leader."

"Zell will be the leader. Seifer will remain behind to command the Garden."

"You already said that about Seifer. My question is where does that leave you? You aren't even going to fight?"

She knew she was wrong. Of course he was going to fight. It was in his blood like a poison. He couldn't just stand by and not get involved. It was his identity, his way of life. Battles were the air to Squall Leonhart's lungs. And she knew that. So when she had asked if he wasn't going to fight she knew she was far off. Very far off.

"Of course I will be engaged in battle, Rinoa."

"But when? With who? Who all is part of your unit?"

Tick. Tick. Tick. The clock was patronizing her. '_Cast an ice spell on that stupid thing before you leave. That'll shut that stupid machine up_.'

"Unit?"

Rinoa glowered at him. Since when did Squall play stupid? '_When he's hiding something…_'

"Yes, your unit. Who all is it comprised of?"

He moved from her grasp, scratching at the back of his head, his blue eyes flashing with hesitation. Squall had been pale when she had come in originally but he had faded even more upon falling into this particular conversation. Her SeeD commander was practically transparent.

"No one."

She took in a ragged breath, "Seriously…your unit. Tell me your unit members, Squall."

"The infantry force is comprised of the High Commander of SeeD, Squall Leonhart. That is all."

Rinoa's mouth fell open. Her knees buckled. A loud gasp passed through her magenta lips as she fell forward.

Squall's eyes widened as he rushed forward and caught her in his fatigued arms before her face had a chance to connect with the floor.

"Rinoa!"

Black dots passed over her line of vision as he turned her upwards in his arms, brushing her hair away from her face.

"Breathe. Just breathe."

She nodded, gasping for air like a fish stranded on dry land. The walls were drawing closer. Did walls move? These ones did. Or perhaps it was just the spell she was falling under.

"Focus on my mouth, Rin. Breathe."

Rinoa hazily stared at Squall's perfect mouth, watching him form various words of 'breathe', 'relax', and 'I'm here.'

She swallowed eagerly, clutching at his shirt desperately, "Squall-"

"Shhhhh, just breathe. C'mon, relax."

Rinoa nodded again, studying his mouth with great interest as she found herself mimicking his actions, taking in long, steady breaths. The black dots were beginning to fade. Yet again Squall had brought her back down to the planet and saved her from herself.

"That's it…breathe. You're doing well, Rin."

His spare hand came up to clasp around one of hers, a slight smile on his face. The first she had seen since before she had left.

"Squall...you'..alone?" She wheezed, eyes pleading with him to answer her.

He merely nodded, a look of shame covering all of his features.

Rinoa's heart skipped a few beats before returning back to a sporadic pattern. Her breathing was returning to normal slowly, the wheezing turning into a slight pant.

"You can't go," She choked out, giving his shirt a slight shake. He chuckled slightly at her demand.

"It's for the best, Rin. It will all work out."

"No…no it won't. If you go alone it'll be a death wish."

He sighed, "Perhaps but at least I'll have weakened her enough that the special ops force will either take her down or bring her to the brink of death. Permanently. It's a small price to pay for freedom. I would gladly give up my life for SeeD."

"You mean for me. You're doing this for me, don't even try to lie!" She spat out, finally regaining her control over her breathing patterns.

Squall shook his head, "I'm not trying to lie. I am doing it for you as well. But please think about this logically, Rinoa. I'm the one she's after. If I meet her first it will save countless lives that would have been lost in her attempt to engage only me in battle. It's something I must do. Laguna, grudgingly, agrees. It is a direct order, one that I will follow. I will be giving the changes in plans tomorrow over the com device. At the end of the week, if the sorceress has not made any move, we will attack."

The end of the week? But that was only a few short days. He wasn't even at his full potential. He was starving and weak beyond reason. Engaging her in battle was a complete act of stupidity if one was at full health, let alone if one wasn't up to snuff.

"That's why," Rinoa whispered, sitting up so that her nose was brushing against his, "You didn't want to tell me. You're thinking that you're going to die in combat."

Squall had no intention of answering her. She knew the answer simply by his arms squeezing around her tightly, pulling her into his broad chest.

Rinoa let out a pained whimper as she returned the embrace, burying her face into the side of his neck. That's why he had pulled away. That's why he was keeping his emotions for her at bay. He was preparing her for a lifetime of this. No hugging. No kissing. No loving. No anything. He was leaving her, unwillingly and willingly at the same time. What was worse was watching him go and not being able to do anything about it.

************

Selphie hugged her knees to her chest a little tighter as she rocked back and forth in her dorm room, sniffling away the tears she had been crying ever since she had quit Squall's unit. She hated leaving. She hated letting him down. He was her friend after all. But with the recent turn of events, she didn't trust him. Regardless of all they had been through, her faith in him had waived and left her.

It killed her to know that she was letting her other SeeD members down. They relied on her in battle. She was definitely a valuable asset to the team. But surely they would be just as good if she wasn't a part of it anymore. She would still fight after all, just under Seifer's command instead.

She frowned. Seifer. Not that she truly enjoyed the idea of the former knight commanding her and the rest of SeeD into battle while Squall was deployed but surely it was better than taking orders from a drunken, heartbroken, moody-ass High Commander. That was a death wish all in itself. She wanted to protect the world but not dying in the process was definitely what she was after.

And the look on Irvine's face when she had run off. God it was _still_ killing her. He had looked like she had just stabbed him and then poured salt into the open wound. The image had burned itself into the back of her eyelids and refused to leave her.

She needed to speak with him but she couldn't muster up the strength or the will to. Surely he didn't want to speak to her anyways. He had made no attempt to come find her. Of course he wouldn't. She had completely disbanded their team and flown the coop. She didn't blame him.

How else would he be feeling? His lover had quit the team he was on with the knowledge that the lack of her presence could cause his death, along with any of the others.

Selphie grabbed at her hair restlessly, crying out in pain. Not physical pain, however. Her mental demons were completely overpowering her, rendering her helpless.

"Irvy help me," She whispered to the confines of her room, letting her forehead rest against her knees.

************

Contrary to the dark feelings that all of her other friends were feeling, aside from Zell of course, Quistis was an absolute bottle of sheer joy.

Her heart continued to flutter rapidly at the mere thought of Zell's lips upon her own. She could still taste his mouth upon hers.

Her tongue snuck out of the cavity of her mouth and licked at her lips, causing her to sigh in approval.

She never acted like this. This was absolutely childish behavior. Quistis Trepe DID NOT behave this way. Ever. But still, she couldn't contain her bubbly fervor any longer. Zell had actually returned her admiration. It wasn't logical. He shouldn't be attracted to her in the slightest of ways but still, he had kissed her. He had even asked to see her tomorrow, if things went according to plan with the war and all.

The war. Quistis grimaced at the idea. She had nearly forgotten the woes of the battle to come with the mere pressure of his lips upon her own. How childish. How immature. How daft. How insanely stupid! She shouldn't be falling into this girlish world of hearts and fairy tales. But yet she found that she couldn't control it. It was as natural as breathing.

No wonder Rinoa's eyes would blaze like fire after she hugged Squall, or kissed him. She could only imagine what it was like to share an act as intimate as sex.

Her eyes rounded and she caught herself gasping. Thoughts of something like sex already? She had only kissed the guy for SeeD's sake. They weren't even together. They were just…testing. Was testing the word?

She should have studied on this subject further. She knew the techniques of hugging, kissing…and other situations. She didn't know how one was supposed to act after said actions. Did you go back to being aloof and unreadable or just a complete meltdown of all things love and lust?

Quistis removed her glasses and rubbed at her eyes. Surely she should be thinking of the looming battle ahead instead of imagining what it would be like to kiss Zell for a second time. Now that she knew the foundation for kissing she could try to learn a little more with the next encounter.

Squall would be disappointed with her. Surely he was somewhere preparing for the war to come. He was always working. Since when wasn't she?

And as much as she knew that she should be angry with herself for feeling this way, she wasn't. Instead she was all smiles and blushes. A very different side of Quistis Trepe indeed.

************

Zell's thoughts could all be wrapped up into a few choice words. The same words that kept running through his mind along with images of a completely unfiltered Quistis.

'_Kissing was fun. Must do again soon_.'

The blond martial artist smirked at his simple mind as he flipped on the television and turned it to a sports program. The commentator flew through the play by play as Zell popped a chip into his mouth, crunching down on the cooked potato slice.

"Alright ladies and gentleman. That's it for round one. Time for round two at the sound of the bell. Ding ding."

He couldn't help but laugh, "That's what I'm sayin'."

Of course he wasn't talking about the match on the television.

************

Seifer was far from concentrated on the war or the sorceress. Or anything really except for unhooking Angelica's bra. He still didn't understand these confounded devices. Surely they were made to not only support a woman's breasts but to also torture the mind's of the men that tried to remove them.

It was like a form of the spell Protect, keeping all outside forces at bay while the true treasures were nestled under a layer of lacy fabrics.

"You want me to do it, Seify?"

Seifer ground his teeth together at the use of the nickname she had deemed for him, "Sure."

The young woman let out a slight giggle as she reached behind her and unsnapped the hook in one smooth movement.

The blond warrior growled in approval as he ripped the bra from her body and busied himself with her exposed chest. Surely he should worry about other things at the moment but getting a nice fuck or two in before the battle never hurt anyone.

_Unless they wanted it to_. That thought caused him to flip the girl over onto her stomach and tear her panties away from her body.

************

Irvine continued to pace his room, constantly glancing over at the clock as he had been for the past several hours. Still no Selphie. Still nothing.

He sighed, falling down lazily onto his lonely bed. Selphie had been sharing it with him for around two weeks now. The lack of her body next to his left him alone and nostalgic. The mere memories of the nights they shared brought an unwelcome guest from his lower region.

Irvine grunted in frustration as he pushed himself up from the bed and headed towards the shower. His skin crawled at the mere thought of what was coming. He never did take very well to freezing temperatures, especially when he was being doused in it.

This situation, however, desperately needed cooled down.

* * *

**Lol I had to put everyone in this one. Little updates on everyone's progress so far. Some are completely focused whereas others are…well…preoccupied. Lol. I hope you all enjoyed it. I know that it's rather late. I've been sick and haven't been on the comp that much .I hope you all enjoyed it though. Another update in a few days.**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	23. Nightmares

**Disclaimer: ..unfortunately. *sniffle***

**Rating: M for language, violence, sexual content, and drug reference.**

**Author's note: Poor Rinoa. I couldn't imagine. You finally get to see the one you love again and then you find out that they're going to be leaving you soon. I don't even wanna think about it. X_x Oh and I'm going with the Dissidia version of Squall's appearance. It's updated and totally gorgeous. I don't think many of you will disagree with me in a sense that the only thing that's really different is the cut in his shirt, his dust skirt tied about his waist, and his belts aren't so….everywhere. Lol. Hope no one objects. ;)**

* * *

"_You take your steps away with hesitance. You take your steps away from me." – _Jimmy Eat World,_ Cautioners (_yes I know I used this same quote for my other fic but I feel like this one suited this fic perfectly.)

"_What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say. And watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been. And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do."_ –Cascada, _What Hurts the Most_

_************_

_He was leaving her, unwillingly and willingly at the same time. What was worse was watching him go and not being able to do anything about it._

She let him eat his sandwich and whatever else he had the ability to shove into his mouth shortly after their conversation. She had realized then that he needed all the strength he could muster up. Not that a sandwich would do all of that but at least it was better than him starving himself any further.

After he had eaten his fill, he went to his dorm bed and flopped down, shoes and all. Rinoa sighed, pushing herself up and out of a recliner. She walked over to him and began to untie his boots. Of course he protested, but she simply ignored him. Eventually he gave up and let her remove his shoes, freeing his cramped toes from their confines.

Although she wasn't completely sure, she thought she had seen him wriggle his toes for a brief moment. Typically it would make her smile at his cute little gesture but tonight, now, it was different. It was just something else that Squall did when she wasn't looking that she would miss.

It was nearing midnight now. She knew he had to be up early. He was always up early. She had a few more nights with him until Friday. That was counting on Ultimecia's lack of confrontation until that point, however.

Still, she couldn't bring herself to leave his room. He shifted in his bed uneasily, turning on his side so that he was facing her. Blood-shot blue eyes wandered up to look at her.

"What's wrong?" He asked in a whisper.

Rinoa swallowed, running her fingers through her long hair out of habit. Why was she nervous? This was Squall. This was the man she loved. Nervousness should be long gone when it came to him.

This was new territory, however. It wasn't frightening, it was just unnerving. But she needed it. She wouldn't be able to leave tonight. Not now. Not after learning what was going to happen.

"Squall…can I stay here tonight?"

It was certainly a question he hadn't been expecting. She had asked to stay a couple times prior to this point but he had always told her no. It had been too tempting. It was tempting now. Was her seriously considering it?

"Rinoa I don't-"

Before he could finish she was shaking her head, "I won't take no for an answer this time, Squall. Please?"

How he could ever tell her no was beyond his realm of comprehension. He continued to stare at her for a moment longer before scooting his back towards the wall, opening up a space in front of him.

Her eyes instantly sprang to life, the warm irises glittering with happiness. She didn't say a word as she kicked off her own flip flops and climbed into the bed with him. Squall held the blanket up for her to crawl underneath, watching her smile at his courteousness.

Once she was settled in, he instantly regretted the decision to let her stay in bed with him. He was never going to get to sleep. Their noses were practically touching. All he could see were two big, warm, curious eyes staring back at him.

Uncomfortable. He had never experienced such a thing with anyone.

So he shifted a little further into the wall, buying an inch of distance. Not much but still enough to settle his racing heart. Rinoa simply rolled her eyes, "Thank you for letting me stay."

Squall shrugged, pressing his temple further into his pillow, his eyes sinking shut.

It was quiet. Entirely too quiet. It felt like she was burning a hole through his face. His eyelids jerked open and sure enough, she was still looking at him, "What are you doing?"

"Thinking."

It was going to be a looooooooong night, "About what?"

"You."

"I'm right here, Rinoa."

"I know but I'm still thinking about you."

"What's this about?" He finally asked, growing tired of this little game she was playing.

Rinoa gave him a guilty smile, "I just…I want to be close to you tonight, ok?"

"That's fine but why do you have to stare at me?"

"I'm not trying to stare I'm just trying to-"

"To what?" Squall grumbled, his light blue orbs flashing with irritation.

Her face flushed. Alright, he was completely confused. What was she doing that had caused her to grow embarrassed at his inquiries?

And then quickly the flush faded and her eyes began to water. Squall's eyes narrowed in on hers, then to her quivering mouth, and then back up to her eyes again, "Rinoa? What's the matter?"

"I'm trying to memorize your face. I don't ever want to forget one detail. I always want to remember in perfect clarity what you look like."

And she broke. Her shoulders heaving, burying her face into the pillow.

Squall swallowed, his heart aching. She was hurting again and it was all because of him. Every tear that she'd shed had been his doing and his alone.

"Don't cry."

"No," She sobbed, the pillow muffling her cries slightly, "I want to remember you just as you are. I can't forget the way you look at me. Or the way you smile for only me. The way you give me an irritated sigh whenever I ask to be close to you. The way you reach for me uncertainly. The way you kiss my mouth. The way you love me. I can't ever forget. Ever."

His resolve to be stern with her faltered. She just wanted to do his memory justice. She only wanted to take a mental photograph of his adoration for her. There was nothing wrong with such a notion. Not anything at all. Actually, it was heart wrenching. Even for Squall.

This weight was heavy. He knew he couldn't stay behind to erase her worries but he also knew that he couldn't just let her suffer alone. He was scared too. More than he cared to admit to himself.

"Rinoa, don't cry," He tried again, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She sniffled but continued to cry, suddenly reaching out and pulling herself to him, her face burying into his chest now instead of the pillow.

He was going to go some place she couldn't follow and it destroyed her. "I can't help it. I don't know what else to do except cry. Yet again I'm useless. I can't fight. I can't go with you. I can't protect you. I can't do anything except sit back and watch. I hate being powerless. I hate it. I HATE IT!"

Her voice was elevating to unearthly levels. "Calm down, Rin," He whispered, stroking her long black hair lightly. "I'm here."

"But for how long? How do you know you won't die, Squall?"

"I don't."

She shook her head angrily, swinging a leg over top of one of his, a possessive gesture. "You're mine. No one should be able to take you away from me. I won't let them."

"Rinoa-"

"I refuse. I won't let her."

"Listen to me."

He slowly pried her fingers away from his shirt and pushed her away slightly. A hand slid up her bare arm and came to rest underneath her chin, tilting it upwards. She held her head steady, letting him release her chin to wipe away her tears with his thumb.

Rinoa gurgled a little longer on the remnants of her sobs, looking up at him through soaked lashes. He was smiling?! If it wasn't such a rare and beautiful sight she would have been angry. But seeing as it was Squall and a smile was something that didn't happen often, she chose to relish in the precious gift.

"I want you to listen to me and remember what I say until the day you leave this world, alright?"

The seriousness of her tone told her to nod, her teeth sinking into her lower lip in preparation of what he was about to tell her.

"There's not much I can say that can make you feel better. When someone is worried there is nothing that anyone can really do to make them stop worrying. That is the weight upon the person in distress to release. No one else's. However, I do want to tell you something that may be able to lessen any fears you have."

Rinoa groaned in acknowledgement, running her fingertips over his burnt arm from his run in with the resurrected sorceress not too long ago.

"No matter what happens, you must never question me or my intentions, alright?"

"But Squall-"

"No, Rinoa. Listen. You said you didn't want any one taking me away from you. You must never harvest such a ridiculous theory, do you understand? Rinoa don't ever feel like you have to remind me that I'm yours. I already know it. I never question it. I never regret it. I embrace it. It is a part of me just as much as my lungs or my heart. It is me. I am yours, Rinoa. I always will be, no matter what the dawn brings, I will be yours."

Her heart fluttered. It was so sentimental. Something Squall typically wasn't. But perhaps an impending battle had clouded his mind for the time being. No matter what it was, she was glad that she had the chance to hear him say such things.

"Thank you," She whispered, pressing her forehead against his chin.

His chest rumbled with a small chuckle, "No Rinoa, thank you. I can go to battle with the knowledge that I was able to say that I deeply-"

She jerked her head away; eyes enlarged at the chance of finally hearing him say what she had always longed to hear come from his lips.

But in typical Squall fashion, he simply cleared his throat and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "-cared for someone."

Rinoa flashed him a shaky smile. He was being sincere. The fact that she had the chance to hear it was proof enough of his adoration for her. She didn't necessarily have to hear it. Knowing was enough.

"Now do you think that maybe you could try to fall asleep?" He cooed, tucking strands of her hair behind her ear.

The former sorceress gave him a bubbly laugh, "I think so."

"Good."

Rinoa yawned as she turned her back to him, her body molding to fight his. She sealed her eyes shut and nuzzled into the pillow a little further, contemplating reaching for Squall's arm. Just as she was about to reach behind her she felt his arm snake around her waist and pull her snug against his warm frame.

If it was at all physically possible she was sure that she could have lit the entire room with her smile. She giggled with her excitement as she intertwined her fingers with his, "Good night, Squall."

His breathing was steady, his fingers squeezing hers, "Good night, Rinoa."

It wasn't long before her vision grew hazy and the room faded all together, the familiar mist of her dreams taking over her mind.

************

_It was Friday. D-Day. It was so crowded. The air seemed so thick. She needed through. But the harder she seemed to push the more people seemed to ignore her. _

"_Let me through, please!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, eyes wild, hair sticking to her lips as she panted for air. _

_They continued to ignore her, clapping and waving at an unseen subject. One that she desperately needed to confront. Or at least view._

_She tried again, pushing and weaving through the myriad of people. And still their numbers increased. And she was rather sure she had passed the same little girl at least three different times now. _

_The pressure in her chest was beginning to overwhelm her. Time was slipping away from her. She needed to break through the crowd but she didn't know how. _

_And then, upon seeing a child pretend to cast a spell, she came up with an idea. Quickly sputtering an apology, Rinoa cast a mild quake spell, knocking many of the people to the ground, cursing the sudden taste of dirt and concrete in their mouths._

_She waved at a few of them again, giving them all an apathetic smile as she ran towards the front of the crowd. _

_There it was; what she had been trying to get to the whole time. He was beautiful. But he was leaving._

_Rinoa screamed for him, the world slowing to a stop as she rushed after him. He didn't seem to hear her. He kept walking away towards a transport vehicle in the garage of the Garden. _

_A couple of people from the audience tried to push themselves to their feet, only to be pushed back down again as Rinoa shoved past them frantically. _

_All she could hear was her heartbeat thundering loud in her ears. If they were cursing at her or screaming her direction she couldn't hear it. Nor did she care. She had one focus and one focus only: the warrior headed for certain death. _

_She was getting closer. But still he couldn't hear her cries. Or he could have been ignoring them. Of which she could not be certain. _

_Her frantic need to reach him blinded her to the terrain before her. She screamed his name as loud as she could as she tumbled to the blacktopped ground, landing roughly onto her knees and palms. _

_Tears slid down her cheeks as she threw her eyes back to the warrior and his fleeting form. He was slowing. He was turning! Hope coursed through her veins as he turned to face her, his face was peaceful. Not at all strained over the duty he was about to perform._

_She drew in a ragged breath, holding it in the pit of her chest, waiting. He was going to stop. He was going to come to her and forget his mission. He was going to stay with her where he belonged. It would all be alright. Everything was going to be fine._

_His dust skirt whipped around his ankles, his long brown locks following suit around his defined face. If she believed in gods she would have definitely thought he was one. _

_He made no move for her; instead he only gave her the most genuine, sincere smile that a human could ever give to someone else. _

_She reached out for him, repeating his name almost as if it were a lifeline. _

"_Squall!"_

_His unnaturally light blue eyes twinkled at her as finally she could hear her voice break through the sound of her heart to taint the air with its presence._

_Two gloved fingers lifted slightly in a wave-like gesture as he slowly turned back around, his necklace clanking against the zipper of his leather jacket._

_Again time slowed and she was unable to return to her feet. Instead she reached desperately after him, a puddle of her shed tears forming onto the ground underneath her._

_Her paper heart felt like it was shredding to pieces and bleeding through her clothes to join the puddle of salty liquid on the ground. She was powerless. No spells came to her mind. No words would surface through her brain's storm for her to yell at him. She screamed again as he stepped inside the transport and turned back towards her and the cheering crowd, bowing his head as the door slid shut, taking away his image for the last time. _

_It detached from the Garden and took away from her the love of her life. Her other half. Her everything._

_  
"SQUALL!"_

************

"SQUALL!"

Her eyes flew open, her upper body shooting upwards, throwing his arm from her waist. She gasped for air as she glanced around the room, realizing that she was still in Squall's dorm room. Still in his bed. Still safe. Still with him.

Rinoa's eyes darted over to the clock to find the digital red numerals signifying that it was nearly four in the morning.

"What's the matter?"

She jerked her attention to the man lying beside her. His eyes were completely alert and solely focused on her. Apparently she had screamed his name not only in her dream but also in reality.

Rinoa reached up and wiped the sweat from her brow, letting out a long sigh of relief, "N-nothing. It was just a dream. I'm fine."

"You were screaming and-"

She watched him as he reached out and touched her face, thumbing away the liquid that covered her cheeks, "-You were crying. I tried to wake you but you wouldn't open your eyes."

A blush immediately crept up onto her cheeks as she pulled her hair into a loose pony tail with a spare ribbon she had tied around her waist.

"I'm fine…I was just having a…bad dream."

Slowly she returned her body back down into the soft pleasure of the mattress, sighing as she stared up at the ceiling.

"You can tell me about it."

Rinoa shook her head slightly, turning on her side to look at him. She reached out and clasped her hand around his, "There's nothing to talk about. I can't change it."

His face seemed to fall upon the realization of what she was implying, "I see. There's nothing I can do to make your nightmare go away?"

His angel smiled at him, leaning in to press a kiss to his mouth, "I don't think there's anything you can do to make this one go away."

Squall continued to gaze at her, drawing circles onto her bare shoulder, "I'm sorry."

She raised an eyebrow. It was too ominous. He wasn't apologizing for his lack of ability to correct her nightmare. It was something more, "Squall?"

"I'm sorry for making you suffer through such a nightmare. If I could change it, I would."

Rinoa kissed him again, smiling into the kiss he always reciprocated in a way that was uniquely Squall. Timid but forceful at the same time.

"It's alright," She whispered, kissing his chest this time. Immediately she pulled back, her eyes wide at her own bravery.

"S-sorry."

"Rinoa you don't ever have to be sorry when it comes to me," He corrected her, his eyes flashing with an emotion she was unfamiliar with. She had only seen it once before and it had been in the office right before they-

Her breathing increased and her cheeks burned with the memory of their intimate encounter.

Before she could respond otherwise, he was pulling her to him, his mouth crashing down hard over top of hers. Rinoa's eyes automatically slid shut as his possessiveness flooded her system, surrendering her to his touch.

Her mouth quickly returned the heated favor, parting automatically to allow his to explore her cavity, flicking over her teeth, wrestling with her own pink muscle in the process.

Again her breathing changed, increased, leaving her panting for air and clinging at his clothes, begging for more Squall.

Her heart beat sporadically in her chest, warning her that this was just another way of saying goodbye. But she didn't mind. She couldn't ignore the feeling it gave her and the absolute closeness she felt when Squall touched her, loved her, was unparalleled to anything she had ever felt before in her entire life. It was like a drug and she hopelessly addicted.

Her hands slid up under his wife beater, pushing it up his body, and finally tugging it up and over his head. She moaned into his open mouth as he hands found his broad chest, pressing against the warm skin with a needed fervor.

If she was addicted, so was he. The way she melted at the slightest touch. The way she purred whenever he kissed just behind her ear at her pulse point. The way she clung to him for dear life whenever his hands wandered painfully close to her core. He had only been with her on one separate occasion but he had already committed to memory everything that drove her insane. And the experiences of prior encounters also proved to be helpful whenever he was loving Rinoa.

She, however, blew them out of the water. No one compared to her sexually, mentally, or spiritually. She was truly her own breed and she was all his. Hopelessly his.

She whimpered in need as he shifted, sealing her body underneath his weight, pinning her arms on either side of her head with his strong hands.

Rinoa looked up at him with lusty eyes, her cheeks red with the increase of blood flow, her kiss swollen lips parted for air. And the few strands of stray hair that littered her face only added to her beauty.

He squeezed her hands as she arched her neck to the side, allowing his hungry mouth a better access point to drive her wild. He quickly accepted the invite, his teeth grazing her pale skin lightly, earning a mewl of delight.

He didn't mind the time. He didn't mind the fact that he should be catching up on his sleep. He didn't mind the fact that he had to be up and out of bed in less than two hours. He didn't mind at all.

It had been far too long since he had been able to kiss Rinoa, to enjoy Rinoa, to be with Rinoa, to love Rinoa that he didn't care in the slightest if Ultimecia happened to walk through the door right now. She would have to wait.

Tonight it was about reconnecting with the woman who he belonged to. Tonight was about Rinoa. Tonight was about being one with each other, even if it _was_ the last time.

* * *

**Alright so there's 23. All about Squall and Rinoa. I felt like it was important to focus solely on them and what they're feeling right now. Hope you all liked it. Sorry it was delayed. School has my schedule all f'd up. Lol. And thank you so much for all the reviews guys, seriously. If you could only see how much I smile whenever I read them you'd understand how greatly appreciated you all are. **

**And everyone who leaves reviews who doesn't have an account with , wow I mean you take the time just to leave a review. Thank you so much. I love to hear from everyone. I hope I keep meeting all of your FFVIII needs. I know I'm completely addicted to the story and I still don't know how it's going to end so keep reading everyone. Thanks again!!! **

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	24. One Last Meeting

**Disclaimer: I do not own. Sad reality isn't it? Lol jk.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, drug reference, and sexual content.**

**Author's note: Alright I know I'm starting to sound repetitive but I really feel the need to say this, especially there are some new readers to the fanfic. I really appreciate all the enthusiasm and love for this story. From messages to reviews, from favorites to alerts, thank you. I didn't know that I was appealing to so many people. If only you could see the blush on my face right now. *insert big goofy grin right about here* You guys are frickin' amazing. And that's so hard to find when a story is rated M. It's not on the main stream so it's less likely to find such an audience. Again, thank you.**

* * *

"_What if I wanted to break? Laugh it all off in your face, what would you do? What if I fell to the floor and couldn't take this anymore? What would you do? Come break me down. Bury me, bury me_."- 30 Seconds to Mars, _The Kill (Bury Me)_

_*************_

After their breathing slowed and they lied in the bed for a while just listening to the other's heartbeats, Squall finally kissed the top of her head and disentangled his limbs from hers.

Rinoa smiled up at him as he studied her for a moment, "Go to sleep, Rin."

She nodded, yawning, "What are you doing?"

"I need to shower and then head to the office. I'll be close by. Just sleep, Rinoa."

She felt guilty. She really did. She had only let him sleep for a few hours and the poor man was sleep deprived beyond reason. "Make sure you eat something today, alright?"

Squall chuckled, "Yes, alright."

Rinoa nuzzled in further to his pillow, smiling in content as her eyes sank closed. She listened to the sound of Squall shuffling through the room and then the door to his bathroom closing. After that, all she remembered were the dreams that filled her sleep.

************

He felt bad about it. About not being able to stay and just sleep with her. Instead he had left moments after like he had paid for her love and then left before the sun rose like some sort of cheating husband. Rinoa deserved more than that. He wanted to give it to her, he really did. But with the way things were looking, he didn't know if he would be able to give it to her. And it burned.

Squall rubbed at his heavy eyes, flipping through his paperwork, growling at the lack of organization. He was missing a few reports for Thursday. It was then that he glanced up and noticed that Quistis' chair was empty and her desk was piled high with paperwork.

His eyes narrowed in on all the dead trees, his teeth gritting together as he stalked over to her assigned area, thumbing through the pieces of paper. These were his missing reports, files, and requests. They hadn't even been looked at. He needed Quistis to touch base with a lot of these to validate their purpose and to schedule the com-meeting. He would be here all day and night doing all of this paperwork, plus his own, plus meeting with each SeeD base, and a com meeting with his father. Plus his regular duties still needed to be performed. And he still had to have a meeting with his former unit to discuss the changes in their assignments. It was outrageous. Quistis of all people knew the importance of a well-oiled office. They had been running Balamb's office since the defeat of Ultimecia the last time. Why, of all times, was she suddenly deciding not to complete her work?

Even with the moment with Rinoa flowing fresh through his blood he couldn't help but let his temper quickly fall out of control. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep that was making him so unforgiving. Maybe it was just the weight in the pit of his stomach that he wouldn't be suffering through this much longer that was making all the much harder to deal with. He wasn't sure. And he didn't care. All he could see was red.

Selphie had made it all too clear that she didn't trust her life or his decision making enough to remain in his unit. And now, all of a sudden, Quistis was squirming out of her clerical duties. Maybe it had been best that he had removed them from the infantry unit. All that would have happened would have been that he would have tried to protect them while they weren't trying at all, and he would have lost his life for no particular reason and Ultimecia wouldn't have been fazed at all, or perhaps she might not have even had to raise a finger. They would have imploded of their own accord.

Squall threw a glance over at the clock. It was nearing nine in the morning. She was usually here by at least eight, and that's on the days she was running late.

He crumpled up the paper he held in his hand and let it fall to the ground. This had gone on long enough. He had been putting off holding this meeting in hopes that things would resolve themselves but they were only growing far worse.

Squall pressed a few buttons on the keyboard of the com center and waited for the chimes to finish resounding through the entire Garden, "All members of the infantry force against the sorceress, members of Squall Leonhart's SeeD unit, including you Selphie, please report to the High Commander's office. Immediately."

The chimes sounded again and the message was over. He needed to tell them of the change in their assignments now. It wasn't fair that he hadn't told them as soon as the changes had been made but he hadn't really felt like looking at any of them. He felt betrayed. That was putting it nicely. He knew that they all felt the way Selphie did. She was just more verbal about it, which was nothing new. She had been that way since the day Squall had met her.

His whole body shook with small tremors as he went to his desk and sat down, waiting. This wasn't going to go over well and he had a feeling that the person doing the most yelling wasn't going to be them. He had a lot he wanted to say, which, typically, he would keep held in. But seeing the way things were going he probably had better say what he felt one final time. It was a gift he was going to give to them, whether or not they truly wanted or accepted the gift wasn't his concern. They were always complaining about how hard he was to understand and so today this was going to be their chance. One small glimpse. It was the least he could do for them and for himself.

************

Fear was gripping at her heart like a leech. How could she have overslept, and by so much? She never did this. If she hadn't stayed up thinking about a certain martial artist all night then she probably would have been on time to perform her duties. Squall had been counting on her and she had let him down. Something else to add to his list.

Quistis whimpered with foreboding as she stood on the other side of the office door. She had heard the announcement a mere few moments ago. By that time she had already been rushing around her room, trying to locate her glasses. They had managed to tumble underneath her bed and conceal themselves from her view. So not only was Squall probably livid but her dorm room was demolished.

'_Breathe. Breathe. Breathe_.' She followed her instructions, taking long, steady breaths. They didn't seem to be helping.

"Hiya Quisty."

Her heart rate doubled upon hearing Zell's warm voice behind her. She whipped around to find him jogging towards the office in his usual attire. He seemed extra bright today. That was just the sun leaking through the moon-windows, it had to be. That smile couldn't have anything to do with the moment they shared yesterday, could it? If it didn't then why was she wearing the same stupid grin? Against her wishes, her cheeks blushed as she waved shyly at him, "Hey Zell. Running late too?"

"My name is Zell Dincht isn't it? Of course I'm late. It's my nature," He teased, nudging her with his elbow.

"But definitely not mine."

"I was about to ask about that. Over-sleep?"

Quistis nodded glumly, shifting slightly, "Squall is going to kill me."

Zell smirked, "Well typically I would have said, 'Squall isn't going to kill you.' But seeing as how moody and…aggressive he's been lately, I'm going to say that there is a possibility that Squall will find a way to murder you with your glasses. He's pretty smart when it comes to taking something typically harmless and turning it into a full blown weapon. Maybe you should switch to contacts."

Quistis mouth fell open in a shocked smile, "Zell! I can't believe you'd let Squall kill me."

"If you two don't get a move on _I'm_ going to kill you."

They turned to find Seifer glaring at them ruthlessly.

Zell frowned, "You aren't part of the infantry force. Why the hell are you coming?"

"Squall sent for me. Sorry to rain on your chicken wuss parade. Would you two stop blocking the door? Some of us want to get this over with as soon as possible."

The two made a space in between them so that Seifer could storm past them, the door sealing behind him. Zell rolled his eyes, "He's never going to warm up to any of us, is he?"

Quistis shook her head, "Definitely not. He was always like that, even when he was a student. The only people he ever took the time to befriend were Rajin and Fuijin and of course the….friendlier of the women here."

"Oh you mean the sluts?"

She blinked at his bluntness but couldn't help but laugh. One thing about Zell was that he was incredibly blunt. That was one of the things she liked about him, "Yes, that's the word."

Zell grinned in triumph, "I got Quistis Trepe to admit that she meant 'slut' instead of 'friendly'."

"I don't mean to interrupt the social hour but I'm sure that if Squall knew you two were lurking out her just chit chatting that you'd be in for a rude awakening."

"Good morning to you too, Irvine," Quistis muttered upon seeing the sniper sulking towards the door.

"Tch. What's good about this morning?"

Zell sighed, "So everyone is bitchy today except for me and Quisty?"

"Hrm, looks that way."

Quistis watched Irvine go into the office. She sighed, "He's right, you know. We need to get in there, and I definitely need to hurry inside. After the meeting I'm sure I have a ton of paperwork I need to finish."

The tattooed man nodded, "Alright. We can always finish this conversation at lunch."

She raised an eyebrow; trying to hide the sheer excitement that small comment had stirred inside her, "What makes you think that I want to eat lunch with you? You'll just be devouring everything in sight."

Zell leaned in towards her, his blue eyes sinking shut slightly, "I'm just going off of the blush and big smile on your face."

Quistis turned her head away from him, sucking in her lips to try and better control her facial expressions. She heard Zell chuckle again and return to his full height, "That's what I thought. C'mon, let's get this bitch-out session over with. I'm already hungry."

************

Selphie knew that she was the last one in but she hadn't expected so many harsh eyes to fall upon her. Except for Seifer, of course. He was too busy visually undressing her, a pastime he always practiced, much to her mortification.

She swallowed as she spotted a seat next to Irvine. It was going to have to happen eventually. They were going to have to talk. So with all her nerves screaming of their upset, she tip toed over to the couch and sat down next to her lover. He didn't budge. He didn't grunt. He didn't even make any acknowledgement of her presence. Instead he remained painfully quiet. She placed both of her hands snugly in between her knees and waited, like a child in the principal's office, for the lecture she was sure was about to befall them.

Just as she settled in, the door whipped open again revealing Rinoa. '_RINOA?_!'

Most of the group breathed a very loud gasp upon seeing their former employer enter the room. She waved at all of them, smiling brightly, "Hi guys."

She took a seat next to Quistis, patting her friend's hand eagerly, clearing her throat in preparation of Squall's speech.

The lone wolf pinched the area between his eyebrows at the sight of his beloved bouncing into the room like she was still a member of SeeD. He had specifically told her that she was not a part of this operation and that she was to remain safely on the Garden during the entire conflict. But yet, here she sat.

'_When did you get back?' 'We were all worried sick!' 'How did you get back?' 'Have you eaten yet?' 'We have so much to catch up on.' 'Come to lunch with us!' 'Are you going to be fighting with us?! Alright_!'

At the last question Squall capitalized, "No!"

The room fell into a dead silence, wide eyes staring at his sudden outburst, "No…she's not going to be fighting."

She grinned brightly at everyone, "I'm just here for moral support. I at least want to know what all is going on battle strategy-wise."

Selphie smiled at her long lost friend, her eyes twinkling with appreciation for Rinoa, "I'm so glad you're back. It's been so lonely since you've been gone."

Irvine grumbled with anger. What was he, chopped liver?! Apparently his company was only used to pass the time until Selphie's friend finally returned home. '_Nice to know_.'

Rinoa winked at Selphie, "I've missed you too. I think Squall has something to say," She whispered, nodding at her beloved. The man was trying his best to hide the anger coursing through his veins as he quietly waited for the little reunion to end.

Selphie suddenly became aware of his scrutiny and turned a shade of magenta, "Right."

But no apology. His eyes widened. No apology. Nothing. Not even a, 'Go ahead, Squall.'

He cleared his throat. He had to remain in check of his emotions for now. Once the meeting was underway a little further he would finally uncork the bottle and let the foamy contents drown the room.

"I apologize for calling such a sudden meeting. And I apologize for delaying the meeting. Things have been hectic. Still, I have no excuse for my lack of organization and therefore I ask forgiveness."

Irvine grinned at his friend, "If you want to believe that you're disorganized at all we'll let you but seriously dude, this Garden would be in a very tight spot if it weren't for you."

Squall looked at Irvine for a moment longer, silently thanking the gods for such an understanding man to be a part of his Garden. He glanced over at Zell, Squall's self-deemed best friend. He was also focused on his commander, winking at him in his ornery fashion. Still the same. He hadn't been able to enjoy the company of those closest to him in the longest time. It was comforting to know that they were exactly the way he had left them.

"As I was saying, this meeting has been long delayed and for that I apologize. But it's urgent. It's about the infantry force."

"We're ready and raring to go, High Commander. I can't wait to get a go at that ugly bitch!" Zell exclaimed, his adrenaline already pumping. His hands fisted and shot into the air in a move of encouragement.

Squall nodded gravely, "Yes…I know you are looking forward to your exchange with the sorceress, as am I. This will be our final battle. But things will be working a little differently this time."

Quistis raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean by differently? If something isn't broke, don't fix it. You of all people know that, Squall Leonhart."

He sighed, leaning against his desk, far away from the others, forcing them to turn to look at him, "That's the thing. It's completely broken."

Selphie coughed uneasily, throwing her gaze to the ground immediately.

"And it hasn't been severed by the hands of any of you; it was all my own doing."

Zell blinked uncertainly. Ok, had he zoned out for a minute there because this conversation was suddenly taking a very foreign tone. "What do you mean, Squall?"

"I have behaved unforgivably. I have made each of you suffer through my lack of discipline and emotional erosion. It has caused some of you to doubt my ability to command a unit. And I know that it's more than just one of you. Only one of you has been honest enough with me to come to me to vocalize your concerns and even go your separate ways. And for that I am greatly appreciative, Selphie."

She threw her eyes up to Squall who was now looking at her with warm eyes. She nodded, swallowing. Perhaps she had been too quick with her decision making. Maybe she should have thought it through a little more thoroughly.

"Squall, I-"

He held up a gloved hand, silently telling her to stop. She did so.

"It is with this knowledge of her heart, and the heart of some of you all, that I have spoken to President Laguna about this matter and have come up with an alternate battle strategy."

Rinoa glanced about the room, taking in the shocked and uncertain faces of her friends and Seifer. He seemed just as curious although he went about it in a different way. He had his eyes closed and his brows knit together. She knew enough of the blond knight to know when he was genuinely listening. And he certainly was right now.

"You talked to Laguna…he knows about our lack of unification?!" Quistis choked out, looking at Squall with sheer shock written all over her face.

He sighed, "I have."

"Why didn't you talk to us before hand?!"

"It was at my discretion. I am the High Commander of SeeD; I have the right to keep certain things from you if I see necessary."

Irvine glared at Selphie from the side of his eyes, wishing that she had kept her mouth shut. She was too hot headed sometimes. '_All the time_.'

"As I was saying, I spoke with President Laguna about my unit's difficulties and I offered a solution to the problem. We talked on this answer for a while before he eventually agreed and enforced my option. So the battle strategy has changed significantly. Seifer you will still be giving the orders for SeeD while I am deployed."

"Damn right," Seifer grumbled, his eyes still closed with deep thought.

"Zell-"

Zell sat forward, his back rigid as he awaited Squall's news, "Yes?"

"You will be the commander for the special ops force, my SeeD unit."

His friend's mouth nearly fell to the floor, "Squall, I don't know what to say…I…thank you."

Squall couldn't help but smile at his friend. This was going a lot more smoothly than he would have ever thought possible. He wasn't nearly as angry as he had been at the beginning of the meeting. This could be the last time they were all in the same room like this. The very idea made Squall's emotions balance themselves out.

"It's your chance, Zell. That chance you're always griping about, well it's here. Don't let me down."

Zell jumped to his feet, nearly sending Quistis over the side of the couch. He saluted Squall, his teeth shining in a bright smile, "Yes sir, High Commander!"

Squall saluted him back as his friend fell back down into his seat simply glowing.

"And with Zell as the new commander of the special ops team I expect for you to return to active duty alongside your friends, Selphie."

She nibbled on her lower lip for a moment before finally nodding, "Yes sir, Squall. Understood."

"You are not to desert them no matter what the situation. I have removed myself from the mix up so that you may feel more secure in your mission."

She wanted to cry. She would have cried had it not been for the sudden presence of Irvine's hand covering her own. Selphie looked over at him and instantly her resolve to remain frigid with him shattered. He was looking at her with disappointed eyes but he was still comforting her, telling her he was there for her.

Squall waited for the question he knew Quistis was about to ask, "Where does that leave you, High Commander? You are going to remove yourself from the conflict entirely?"

"Not exactly."

"I didn't think so," She rebutted, searching Squall's ice blue eyes for any inclination of what he was about to say before he actually said it, "Then where are you to be during all of this, sir?"

Rinoa caught Squall glance at her, his eyes a little…nervous? She swallowed, her breathing elevating.

He cleared his throat. He was finding this a lot more difficult to deliver than he had originally intended. Expectant eyes held him in their centers as he fidgeted. Something very un-Squall-like.

"Squall?" Irvine asked, leaning forward from his seat.

"I will fight as well."

"You will be fighting alongside another unit?" Selphie asked in a borderline whisper.

He shook his head.

A wall of warm liquid was working its way into the center of Rinoa's orbs again. Regardless of how tired she was of crying, every time she thought about what Squall was going to do, she broke.

"Rinoa, why are you crying?" Quistis asked, placing her hand overtop of her friend's.

She shook her head, ducking her eyes out of the blonde instructor's vision. Fear griped Quistis' heart, "Rinoa…what is he going to do?"

Quistis jerked her focus from Rinoa to hold Squall there instead, "Squall, what's going on? What are you going to be doing during the conflict?"

He stood straight, holding his chin indignantly. He was gathering all the strength he could muster. He was afraid.

"I will be fighting the sorceress as the infantry force for SeeD. I will go alone. I am the sorceress' main target therefore if I approach her first and battle with her, I will weaken her for the special ops force and possibly even defeat her, although not likely."

Rinoa swallowed. Last night he hadn't said that he probably would defeat her, although it was implied. It was sickening to actually hear him say it. He had come to accept the fact that he could die in battle. What a sad fate to embrace.

Everyone jumped to their feet, eyes wide, fists shaking, mouths open in awe, "Squall you can't do that, dude! She'll kill you. We barely beat her last time and you had all of us and we were at full strength. You're in no condition to fight her!" Zell growled, running up to Squall, grabbing him by the shoulders.

The quiet man shrugged his friend off of him, "It has been decided and enforced by President Laguna and the High Commander. Therefore it must be followed out. It was the only solution to our problem."

"Why couldn't you summon all of us that way we could talk about this…Squall this is ridiculous! You're offering yourself up as bait. You can't do this…you can't possibly expect us to go into battle focused. If we're called into battle we'll know you failed and therefore forfeited your own life. How will we be able to fight her knowing such a fate has befallen you?!" Quistis exclaimed, shaking her head angrily.

"You will go into battle the way you always do. Heads held high, resolve set."

"Squall you can't do this-"

The room suddenly flashed with blinking crimson lights, a siren sounding through all of Garden. The room fell utterly silent except for the wailing of the alarms. The com center blinked with a transmission.

Squall ran over to the machine and opened the communication port, "This is the High Commander."

Laguna's pale face appeared on the other side, "Squall, my boy. It's time."

* * *

**!!!!!!! I hope everyone liked it. Get ready for some gunblade action, yo! Review and lemme know how this one worked for ya. ;)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	25. As I say goodbye

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, sexual content, and drug reference.**

**Author's Note: Damn cliffhanger again. I bet I've got some of you about to send me hate emails huh? Please don't kill meh!!!!!!! I'm updating a little quicker than I have been just b/c I hate damn cliffhangers too. =) Love me again?**

* * *

"_So if you love me let me go, and run away before I know. I don't deserve to have you. My smile was taken long ago, if I can change I hope I never know." –_Slipknot_, Snuff _

"_Time is passin' by so much faster and I'm startin' to regret not spendin' all of it with you. Now I'm wonderin' why I kept this bottled inside. So I'm startin' to regret not tellin' all of this to you. So if I haven't yet, I gotta let you know. You're never gonna be alone from this moment on. If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall. When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on. You're never gonna be alone, I'll hold you 'till the hurt is gone."- _Nickelback_, Never Gonna Be Alone_

_************_

"_Squall, my boy, it's time."_

Time was crawling now. Even his body movements were slowed to a mere nothing as he stared at the com screen. Laguna's mouth was moving but he couldn't hear a thing he was saying.

It was odd. Here he had thought he was more than prepared for this moment. It was what he had been preparing all of SeeD for the last month or so. And now it was finally the moment of truth and he couldn't bring himself to move.

Fearful blue eyes locked with his father's and immediately something deep within the depths of Laguna's eyes sobered up the panicked fighter. "My vessel is boarding with the Garden. I want to see you before you depart. I will be in with Seifer while he is delivering commands. I find it necessary that if he is to become incapable of his duties that I be the one to take over in your absence. Do you understand, Squall?"

The High Commander gulped at his throat, but nodded. Laguna gave him a grave nod, knowing all too well the look of terror. He had worn it one too many times. His son was far different than he was, however. Squall would go to battle regardless of the fluttering stomach he was currently battling. Regardless of the mental demons screaming inside his head. He would buckle them down and face her regardless of his own short comings. Laguna, although a talented fighter, was nothing in comparison to his son. He had done well when creating his life.

The transmission ended, leaving Squall to listen to the ear-bleeding sound of the sirens. Next thing he felt was a hand grasping his shoulder. He turned to see Zell staring at him with worried eyes, "Squall, dude, why didn't you tell us?"

Leonhart cleared his throat and returned to his full height, placing his mask of sternness back into place, eyes sliding closed to mere slits, determination seeping from his very being, "It doesn't matter. What's done is done. This is my burden to bear and my burden alone. You are all expected to perform your duties without hesitation. If for some reason you are called into battle and my life must be discarded so that you may defeat the sorceress, I don't want you to stumble in your attack, understand me?"

Zell's forehead began to shine with the presence of sweat. He blinked at Squall as if he was seeing him for the first time, "S-Squall…I-I…can't-" All he could do was stammer. It was overwhelming. The thought of having to kill his best friend was beginning to rattle his core.

Squall shook his head angrily, "Zell I can't have you second guessing yourself like this. That's why I put you in charge. You need to strike without a second thought. You don't know if she'll capitalize on your hesitation. The difference between your hesitation and attack could win the battle and free the world from her oppression forever. Don't let me down."

Zell's eyebrows fell into a straight line as he continued to think upon the possibility of losing Squall. This was Squall. The idea of him dying was simply a foreign one. Even before when they had all be separated it had never even occurred to him that his friend could have been forever lost to them. But this time…with everything that had happened, it was becoming more and more real that this might be the last time they ever see Squall. Hear him speak. See him breathing. See him shifting his eyes to the side in his own form of rolling his eyes.

It's strange the things you take for granted. You don't even realize it until it's too late. It was true, every little life lesson his mother had instilled in him as a small child. '_You don't know what you have until it's gone, Zell. Live life in the moment because tomorrow isn't promised to any of us._'

Would he be able to look at Squall tomorrow? Would he ever get to look at Squall again? There were so many things he still wanted to tell the young man about how he had changed his life for the better. About how he had inspired him. About how much he truly meant to him. Squall was his spiritual sibling and yet he had failed to tell the man such before now. Would Squall even take the compliment to heart or just brush it off as fear of death from the martial artist?

"Well let's get this show on the road. I'm tired of listenin' to these damn sirens and not doin' anything about them. Good luck, High Commander," Seifer hissed, practically smirking at the possibility of Squall's demise. Still, at a crucial time in both men's lives, he was trying to annoy Squall.

Rinoa glared at the blond knight with a fury unfamiliar to her. But still she said nothing. She would be wasting her breath. Seifer was never going to change. If he hadn't learned his lesson by now, another battle with the sorceress from the future wasn't going to change him. Some people were always going to be the same worthless pieces of carcass that they came into this world with. They would die that way. And Rinoa could honestly say that she wouldn't miss him. It was a horrible notion to even entertain but after everything he had put them all through, and the way he was behaving now, she just couldn't stomach ever missing the man. Squall had trusted him enough to let him command SeeD in his absence. Surely Seifer would be a little more respectful of his superior.

Her hands fisted at her sides. He was still smirking at Squall. Still, even after everything that Squall had just told them, he was still smirking!

Rinoa finally opened her mouth to say something when she was beat to the punch.

"How about you shut the fuck up, Almasy? I'm so tired of your damn mouth. I wish you were the one going up against the sorceress instead of Squall. At least if she blew your ass to smithereens we wouldn't be too damn sad about it. How about you show some respect, you fuckin' prick?"

Selphie's mouth parted into an awed expression at the livid Irvine towering over Seifer, his hands shaking with pure anger.

Squall took a step towards the sniper but Irvine held his arm out to stop the High Commander, "No Squall, it's about time someone said something to this arrogant mother fucker. That's all he ever does is run his mouth and fuck every girl in sight. You know I hope you suffer to death with some sort of wretched STD."

Seifer didn't seem unsettled by the long haired man's outburst, rather it seemed like he found it a little more humorous than Irvine wanted it to be.

"An STD? Please, you're just jealous. You probably can't even get it up you little frea-"

"HOLD ON A SECOND!"

The two quarreling men froze in their places upon hearing Selphie scream at the top of her lungs. Before long she had Irvine shoved out of the way and was right in Seifer's face, finger waving like an angry teacher, "Where do you get off making assumptions like that? Assuming makes you an ass, as if you really needed the help, Seifer. For your information, Irvine CAN get up and he can do it rather easily."

Irvine felt his cheeks burn red as he shifted uneasily, "Um Selphs-"

"No, no. Let me handle this. And just so you know, Seifer, not only can he get it up but he can keep it up until he's sure that I've had my fill. I'm sure that's more than you have going for you, hmmm?"

Seifer glared at the woman with absolute disgust, "Since when did this turn into a battle of sex?"

"Since you tried to embarrass Irvine in front of everyone. You're such a waste of skin, it's ridiculous!"

Irvine glanced over at the others who seemed just as embarrassed for him.

Seifer jumped to his feet and shoved past Selphie, "Whatever. Listen here, crybaby, I'm heading up to talk with Xu on navigation. Handle your little lackeys, would ya? Shit."

And he was gone. It was seemingly a lost battle except for the minor detail that Selphie had managed to catch as Seifer left.

His ears had been blood red.

Squall cleared his throat, "Well…I need to meet with Laguna before I leave. Prepare yourselves, now is not the time to compare…sexual behaviors with one another."

Irvine smacked his forehead, closing his eyes in humiliation. Selphie had only been trying to help but damn it certainly didn't help his ego any to have a woman fight his battles for him.

"Wait Squall I want to tell you something first."

He sighed in clear irritation. He needed to meet with his father quickly. The sirens weren't ringing because she was miles away. She was practically on top of them. He needed to act quickly.

"What Selphie?"

She ran to stand before him, chewing on her lower lip with nervousness, "I know why you did this and I just wanted to tell you that I was wrong and I apologize. I should have never left your unit."

Squall didn't respond, instead he grunted his acceptance of her apology and walked towards the door, "Alright, I'm meeting with Laguna. I need to dress for the upcoming battle and then I will be deployed. It was an honor serving with all of you."

His friends nodded blindly, trying with the best of their abilities to remain composed. Squall didn't want to see his back up breaking apart at the seams. They needed to be confident and ready for anything. Tears weren't going to help them now. They knew that. But still, it was hard to fight back the urge to fall to their knees and weep.

He was leaving. Once he reached the door he turned back around and saluted them, his face grave and drained of any color. "This is for SeeD. This is for the planet. This is for you and your future. Don't fail."

The others saluted him back shakily, nodding their agreement. And with that he turned on his heels and stepped through the door way.

The others immediately slumped with the weight of the events transpiring before them. The last words they might possibly ever hear their commander say to them. Not only their commander but their friend. It was all climaxing too quickly. They couldn't focus.

Zell grabbed at the sides of his head as he tried to think clearly but it was entirely too difficult. Squall and what he had said just kept running through his thought process.

"Zell?"

He flinched as he felt someone touch his lower arm. He threw open his eyes to find Quistis looking at him pleadingly, "We're counting on you. Make Squall proud."

It seemed simple enough but something in the pit of Zell's stomach told him that he was going to fail miserably.

************

Laguna was pacing back and forth just outside the docking bay.

"President-"

"Could you cut out the formalities just this once, Squall? Please?"

Squall blinked uncertainly at his father but nodded at the request. It was simple. Laguna wanted things to be as heartfelt as possible before he let his own son go to a battle that he might not return from.

"My apologies."

Laguna wheeled around and snagged his son by his wife beater, pulling him closer, "Could you please stop apologizing? You're driving me bat-shit crazy! Act like a young man for once. Please. Let me know that you had a good life. God this is drivin' me bonkers!"

The younger of the two men waited patiently for his father's psychotic break to finish. And finish it did, with Laguna clutching at his lower leg helplessly, "Holy shit those bastards just sneak up on ya!" He exclaimed, indicating the muscle spasms no doubt.

"Pres-"

"AAAH!" Laguna interrupted, shooting Squall a dark glower of warning: finish that sentence and I'll make sure that Ultimecia doesn't even get the chance to finish you off. It'll be my job!

"Father," Squall corrected himself, Laguna smiling in victory, "Was this meeting absolutely necessary? I must change my gear and junction the appropriate magic spells."

"This is something that must be done."

"Understood," Squall breathed, waiting impatiently for his father to regain his composure.

Laguna's face was a pale color as he stood upright again, holding Squall's shoulders with his large hands, "Squall, my son, this is the hour that we have feared. Ultimecia is nearing this particular Garden. Units of the Magic Military have already invaded several Gardens."

Squall's eyes rounded, "Why did they not try and contact Balamb?"

"No need to worry, my boy. They are all fine. Esthar City has some soldiers already in the process of aiding them. Relax. All you need to focus on is the battle you're about to walk in to."

His son nodded, "Yes."

Laguna squinted his eyes, making a face of pain. Perhaps another muscle spasm. Perhaps a brain freeze, which was very possible when it came to Squall's father. Whatever it was, the older man of the family ignored the pain and spoke on.

"I know this isn't exactly the ideal time to be telling you this but I feel like it's needed. I can't have you going to battle without you knowing how much you mean to me."

It was Squall's turn to feel uncomfortable. Everyone was saying goodbye. Did no one have faith in him? Hell…what was he thinking, he even doubted his ability to conquer Ultimecia. He had barely done it the first time and that had been with the help of all of his friends. This time he was flying solo.

"I'm no good at this kinda stuff. It always comes out all mumbo jumboed."

Laguna's son stared at him, almost pleading with his eyes for this moment of torture to be over and done with. He couldn't agree with him more but it needed to be said. He didn't know if he would ever have the chance again.

"We haven't really gotten to experience a lot of things together like normal father and sons but then again we aren't exactly normal are we? I'm more of the son and you're more of the annoyed father. But what I can say is that, whether or not I'm a decent father, I do try to be all that you need, Squall. I'm lucky that you don't need much. You're so self-sufficient."

"Self…sufficient?" Was that supposed to leave him feeling all warm and fuzzy inside because it definitely wasn't working.

"I just told you I wasn't good at this kinda stuff, dammit! Bear with me!"

So Squall shifted his weight from foot to foot, crossing his arms out of sheer nervousness. For once, Squall didn't want this to end. He wanted it to drag on forever and ever but if he didn't get a move on then Ultimecia was going to invade the Garden and destroy everything that he held dear. Everything he loved. He wasn't about to let that happen.

"I'm sorry that you're mother never got to see you like I have. It's something I think about every single day. But I'm lucky enough to have finally realized that you were my son after all these years. And I was even lucky enough to meet you! And hell, you even got to experience a lot of my memories first hand. A lot of father and son's can't say that. We're a rare breed, my boy."

The brown haired young man nodded solemnly, looking at his father for the first time. Not as the annoying, woman obsessed clown that he typically portrayed himself as. But as the worried, loving father that regretted his chance to really dive into his relationship with his son further.

"But not that it's a bad thing. It's actually a very good thing. But I'm totally running off tangent here, I was really just wanting to tell you how much you are to me. You're my son and with that comes my love and respect. Even if we don't know as much about each other as other father and son duos do, I can honestly say that I love you more than anything I have ever loved. Except for Raine and some other women…I loved them in a way that would be morally wrong for me to love you in-"

Squall's eyes rounded at his father's allusions. And immediately Laguna burned red, sweat beginning to trickle down his temples, "I er…what I meant was-"

The High Commander held up his hand and shook his head, "You don't have to go over that again. I got it."

Laguna's shoulders slumped, completely defeated, "I didn't say it right. Possibly my last chance to let you know how I feel about you and I ruin it with my fat tongue."

It was odd. Laguna was more social but when it came to actually confessing his feelings he was just as awkward and awful at it as he was. So that was where he got it from.

Sure it was out of his character. And he was rather sure that if he did live through his exchange with Ultimecia that he wouldn't live it down, but something inside of him told him it was the right thing to do. Something told him that he needed it. That they needed it.

So with a swift intake of breath and couple of curse words floating around in his head, Squall reached out stiffly and pulled his father to him, wrapping him in an awkward and cold embrace. But it was an embrace all the same.

He could hear Laguna nearly choke out a sob as he returned the hug, pulling Squall to him a lot tighter than he would have liked.

"My…son," He whispered, burying his face in Squall's shoulder.

Something inside of Squall's cold core stirred. So this is what Rinoa meant when she said that sometimes you just need to hug someone. That it was just a feeling that bubbled up to your heart and then you couldn't control yourself. That's why she was always hugging people. He had thought she was the only one he could share such a moment with. But upon embracing his father he realized that it was a notion that he had missed out on. And now that he fully realized it, he regretted it.

"I need to go."

"Of course. I've kept you far too long. Please, be careful. Take your com device that way you can radio in the reinforcements if needed."

"Yes, father."

Laguna pulled away from Squall, dabbing at his eyes angrily, "Sorry 'bout that."

Squall shook his head, "No more apologies."

Laguna nodded, "You're right. Well, swift speed, my son. Please dress for battle. The sorceress draws nearer. Your transport will be waiting for you."

************

He didn't remember it ever being this hard to dress for combat. His shaking hands probably didn't help things any. His fingers were trembling so badly that he had missed the holes of his gloves several times before finally sealing his digits inside the leather material successfully.

Once he had finished junctioning the needed spells and armor, Squall reached into his weapon case and withdrew his beloved gunblade.

The light caught it just right, the weapon flashing with a vehement glare. Just the sight of it sent shivers down his spine. This was going to be his only ally during battle. His only friend.

He nodded at the old friend before tucking it away into its sheath. He tightened his dust skirt that adorned his hip before he took in a final deep breath, his back straightening. This was it.

With one final glance about the room, he exited. The halls were packed with the screams of encouragement and endearment from the students of Balamb Garden.

He continued walking but looked around as if in a daze. Surely they were cheering because they knew what he was about to do. They weren't cheering for him, right? They were cheering for the end of hopelessness. They were cheering for the end of oppression. They wanted a final chapter to come so that they may start a new life free of fear and death.

As he approached the garage he couldn't help but catch sight of a few of the female students crying, waving at him sadly. It was surreal. He had never before experienced such a reception before. Even after the sorceress' initial defeat the first time they hadn't reacted like this.

Near the garage's entrance way were the rest of his former unit, tears falling down all of their faces. The men included. They didn't care to show their fear of losing their friend. It wasn't time to be proud. It wasn't time to ignore their fondness. It was time to come together for each other.

He nodded at them, small traces of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he raised his hand in greeting.

"SQUALL!"

One voice broke through the haze of his mind, of his vision, of his surrender.

She watched as he slowly turned around, looking completely identical to the nightmare she had suffered through only just that morning. The breeze of the opened bay was causing the long pieces of his brown hair to flow to side, licking at his face. His dust skirt whipped around his ankles, snapping when the wind caught it a certain way.

For a moment she hesitated, her chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. She was still dreaming, wasn't she? Squall was still nestled up next to her underneath the covers of his bed. It was just a dream. '_Wake up. Wake up_.'

He remained where he was, swallowing with more effort than he typically would exert on such a thoughtless task. She had stopped. Was she going to keep her distance? Was it too hard for her to say goodbye to him? He understood if it was. It was hard for him too.

His face was breaking into one of those earth shattering smiles that he rarely shared with anyone, not even her.

"Rinoa."

Her face fell at the sound of his smooth voice purring her name. This wasn't in her dream from before.

His hand extended towards her, waiting. This definitely wasn't a part of her dream.

She let out a cry as she rushed towards him, nearly tackling him to the ground as she launched herself into his arms, squeezing his neck for dear life.

His arms fell around her waist, pulling her snug against him. This was his chance to lock away everything about her so that if he were to die in battle he could remember his beautiful angel during his final moments.

"Please don't go…I don't want you to die."

She was crying. Not just crying, she was breaking. Squall fought back his own gasp of emotional pain as he felt her begin to claw at his back, trying to get a better grip on him. He felt the saline liquid tears liter his cheeks. He could hear her coughing, hear her heaving for breath. Felt her chest tremor with ragged breaths. Smell her fruity perfume.

"Please just stay."

"I can't."

Again she wretched out a cry of pain and sadness, "You can't leave me. This isn't how it's supposed to be."

He ran a gloved hand over her black hair, déjà vu flooding his memory banks of when she had fallen from her prison. When he had saved her from being locked away forever. She had been so happy then. But now she was heartbroken. Instead of coming for her, he was leaving her.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head angrily. This wasn't her fairy tale ending. Everyone else got to have theirs so then why couldn't they?

"Rinoa-"

His lips were moving against her ear now. His voice was vibrating through her ear and soul like a storm, leaving nothing untouched.

"I love you."

His mouth kissed her temple before pushing her away from him, handing her person over to an emotional Zell. He removed his fingers from her desperate grasp and entered the garage, stepping into his transport, sitting down with a thud. The doors shut behind him and quickly the transport disengaged from the platform.

Rinoa reached after him, her mouth moving to the formation of his name, her voice failing her. She had finally heard him say it. It had been so quick and quiet but it had been everything that she dreamed of.

And they had been his last words to her. His final words.

Somewhere in Balamb, with no crowds around, Laguna cried.

* * *

**Alright so a little of a cliffhanger but not so much. I don't wanna be mean to you guys, I lovers you all way too much. ;) So I'll have the next chapter up really, really soon. It's getting close to ending. I hope you all are loving it so far. Stay tuned! =)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	26. Enemies

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Period.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, sexual content, and drug reference.**

**Author's Note: Alright so thank you for all the reviews! Some of you even confessed that I got your tear ducts working. Wow! Thank you so much. I'm glad I was able to convey such an emotional chapter. It's exactly what I was going for. Now you've all waited long enough. Time for the next scene. ;)**

* * *

"_You'll never go. You're always here. Suffocating me. Under my skin. I cannot run away. Fading. Slowly. I give it all to you."- _Red_, Already Over_

"_There is nothing left of you. I can see it in your eyes. Sing the anthem of the angels and sing the last goodbye."- _Breaking Benjamin_, Anthem of the Angels_

_**********_

There were no words known to common man that could describe the way she was feeling. The only way she could possibly even come close to describing it would have been to say that it was painful. No, it was excruciating to watch as his transport disengaged from the platform and embarked towards the sorceress' location.

She believed that at some point her heart had actually stopped beating, cutting her off from the world of the living and the dead. But then it would resume its pumping, warning her of the power that the small organ held over her being. And not only its power over her, but Squall's as well. Her love for the man influenced her so much that she had actually stopped functioning.

Her eyes continued to blink with lack of comprehension as the transport quickly disappeared from view, leaving her limp in someone's arms. She hadn't really noticed who Squall had handed her off to. All she remembered was the warmth of _his_ arms. The warmth of _his_ breath on her ear, whispering the words that could send a person to war or make them surrender. She would always remember the way it sounded coming from his strained voice.

It had still been his smooth tone, but it was huskier, warmer. It was real. And somewhere in the back of her mind she mentally kicked herself for ever thinking that the man didn't actually love her. It was childish, now that she had time to think it through.

"Rinoa!"

Her eyes remained transfixed on the spot where Squall had held her in his arms one last time. It was peaceful. Through all the turmoil and commotion happening about her, that one spot remained quiet and warm.

"Rinoa!"

'_Just a little longer_.'

"She's not listening to me."

"No one ever listens to you."

"Shut up, Irvine. If I wasn't holding her I swear to god I'd punch you so_ fuckin_' hard-"

"Zell!"

Rinoa vaguely heard Irvine snickering at Zell's reprimand from Quistis.

"She's heartbroken."

"We all are, Selphie."

"Yeah but…she's a little more heartbroken than the rest of us, Quisty."

"Yes, of course. What was I thinking?"

She felt something touch the top of her head. Her reflexes kicked in, ripping her eyes away from the scene of her departed lover to the top of her brow, a set of eager eyes staring down at her.

Immediately she became sober.

"Zell?!"

The rigid object that had been sealed around her waist instantly slackened as he let out a sigh of relief, "Thank god. I thought I was gonna haveta take you to the infirmary. That woulda sucked. I got banned from there except for when I have a life threatening emergency."

Rinoa watched as Quistis raised an eyebrow. She could feel as he gave the blonde a lazy shrug, "I may or may not have accidentally shot one of the students up with a tranquilizer for fiends instead of an antibiotic."

"How do you accidentally drug someone with tranquilizer?" Irvine choked out, staring at Zell incredulously.

"Hey, that's not the point. The past is the past, right? Anyways, I think we should probably report to the command center. I'm sure Shithead…I mean Seifer already has orders for us."

At that, Selphie laughed, "Yeah, don't want to keep our mighty leader waiting."

"Does anyone else have a bad feeling about him?" Irvine grumbled aloud, following behind Selphie as they all began their slow march towards the command center.

'_More than you know_,' Rinoa thought sourly, remaining close to Squall's closest friend, Zell.

************

"As soon as we are within a few feet you are to open the hatch and let me jump from the transport, understood? I cannot allow for your life to be put into jeopardy. That was the logic behind this solo mission. Do you think you can keep the craft steady enough for me to exit?"

The red headed pilot nodded grimly, "Y-yes sir. I mean, Yes sir, High Commander, sir."

Squall frowned but nodded as he returned his gaze to the window. He watched as the birds quickly migrated the opposite direction, their loud squawks of terror penetrating the thick walls of the transport. They were growing closer.

************

Laguna couldn't help but shiver as his eyes connected with Seifer's. The overachieving blond man from before had seemed to transform into something much different. Perhaps he should have taken Squall's advice and not put Seifer into such a position. Thankfully he was there and could overthrow the temperamental blond if he needed to.

Said blond was slouched over in the main command chair, picking at his white teeth with a piece of paper.

Laguna stuck out his tongue in a disgusted fashion. He had served in the army and had his fair share of adventures so such a habit shouldn't disgust him. But when it came to hygiene he happened to be very prudish. It wasn't that he wanted to be, but it offended him and even upset his stomach enough that on one occasion when Ward hadn't showered in three days, he had vomited. All over Ward.

It had been awkward to say the least. Ward hadn't talked to him for the rest of the week. At the time Laguna had found Ward's silence to be a gruesome punishment for his weak stomach, but now he found that if he could just hear Ward's voice one last time that it would be a gift.

He raised an eyebrow at his thought process. The things that ran through one's head during a time of crisis. It was strange.

The door to the office slid open, allowing the special ops force to walk through the door, their eyes red from crying and their faces pale from fear.

"Welcome SeeDs. I'm glad that you reported straight here after the departure of the Head Commander of SeeD."

"Squall," Rinoa corrected him, wishing for all formalities to be forgotten.

Laguna nodded at the lamenting lovebird, "Of course, Rinoa. Squall. He appreciates your continuing aid as his allies during this time. We must be fully prepared if he is to radio for assistance or…if the situation becomes more dire."

"You mean if she kills him," Seifer blurted out, sucking air through his teeth to make sure that he had removed the irritating substance from his gums.

Everyone shot the impudent man a death glare, fighting with their thoughts of whether or not they should just kill the man or throw him over to the sorceress for her to have the honors of dismembering the jerk.

Laguna glowered at the scarred man for a moment longer, the fire in his heart erupting at the thought of the man's lack of respect for his son or his son's life. It was sick. How one person could even think in such a fashion was beyond his capability of understanding. Yes, now he understood his son's logic when it came to not trusting the man with such a meaningful task. He had no value for human life. He was the worst man for the job. But still, Laguna had to trust his battle expertise for now. If the time came that Seifer wasn't making the appropriate decisions based on loss of life, he would quickly take over the command of SeeD.

Quistis cleared her throat, feeling the discomfort quickly settling into the room, "Shall we go over the battle strategy once again, just for safety measures?"

The president nodded, "Okie dokie. Come huddle."

************

The screen of the transport flashed. Squall's attention quickly faded from the outside world to the screen in one split instant. Someone was sending them a transmission.

"It's from a Magic Military transport."

The lone lion swallowed before nodding, silently agreeing to allow the transmission to connect.

After a few seconds of the screen flashing the word: loading, a familiar face came into view.

It was completely different from how he remembered him looking, but it was definitely Alec Johnson. His possession had definitely worked against his favor.

His eyes were sunken in. His mouth as pale as his face. His eyes were dull, and his hair ever looked flat and lifeless. And he was thinner. Much thinner. He looked as if he had been starved the entire time Ultimecia had claimed his host body as her own.

But the familiar red glow of his possession swirled around the green irises of his eyes, "Ahhhh, Squall Leonhart. It has been too long."

It was said in Alec's voice but a second tone had joined in the vocal arrangement. Ultimecia's calculating soprano played back up to the usually deep voice of the commander.

"Ultimecia. Still leeching off of someone else's body, I see."

A cold round of laughter followed afterwards, "I wouldn't call it leeching as much as I would call it borrowing. I will say that I didn't pick the best host for my powers. But no matter. I will still destroy you, SeeD. I will exact my revenge upon you."

Squall's eyebrows furrowed together as he leaned in towards the screen further, "You sound sure of yourself, sorceress. You forget that you were destroyed last time because of my unit and me."

At this Alec's eyes narrowed in on the screen, a spin-tingling sneer creeping onto his weathered face, "But your unit has abandoned you."

The High Commander froze. How she could possibly know was beyond him. The transport was large enough that there was no way for her to see all of the ship's deck. They could have all been out of the screen's range for all that she knew. But something told him that she knew. Something told him that she had known for a long time and had simply been letting his mind ferment over his task to come for the most part.

"They have done no such thing. I have come to face you myself. I will not throw away their lives because you want to settle a score with me and me alone."

"You are still naïve, young soldier. I do want my revenge but you are foolish to think that I have come back just to have that. I plan on the world being my own, not just your life."

The warrior mentally flinched. He knew she had been planning such a reality but to actually hear it brought on a new round of fear that he had been suppressing.

"You will not have a chance for such a reality, Ultimecia."

Alec shook his head from side to side mockingly, all the while giving Squall a two-toned laugh, "No my dear mercenary, you will not have a chance for such a reality."

"Why have you contacted this vessel?"

The possessed man shifted in his chair, slowly rising to his feet, "To declare a meeting ground. We can't very well fight in the air, can we? Where's the fun in that? I at least want this to be a rather fair fight. I don't want to kill a man who is unprepared for aerial combat."

"Where?!" Squall snapped, his patience wearing thin quickly.

"Let's take this back to where it all began, shall we? Centra Region."

"Done."

The transmission cut out, leaving Squall breathless and the pilot of his vessel ghost white.

************

Rinoa paced the room uneasily. Something wasn't quite right. There was a piece to the puzzle that was missing. What it was, she wasn't quite sure. But she knew something was wrong. What was it?!

"Hey Quistis-"

The blonde woman turned to Rinoa, smiling meekly at her, "Yes, Rinoa? What is it?"

Rinoa fidgeted, inspecting her fingernails out of a nervous habit, "Have you ever felt like you're missing something? But you just can't figure it out?"

Quistis frowned, her interest quite piqued as to what the former sorceress could possibly be missing at such a crucial time, "Well of course, Rinoa. Everyone feels that way. It's the most annoying sensation in the world," She added, touching her friend's shaking hands.

The raven-haired woman gave an irritated sigh, "What do you usually do to figure out what it is?"

"Well I just try not to think about it and then usually it just comes to me in that classic 'aha!' moment."

The former Timber rebel nodded slightly, "I see."

Quistis gave Rinoa's hand a final pat before turning back to the battle plans.

Rinoa stared at the back of Quistis' head for the longest time before she went back to her corner and began to pace back and forth again. Surely it was obvious. But what was it? It had something to do with Squall and it had something to do with the sorceress but what was it? Perhaps just an inkling in the pit of her stomach? Maybe. But whatever it was, it was driving her insane.

And so with these thoughts swirling about in her mind like a whirlwind, Rinoa finally spoke up. Loud enough to gain Laguna's attention.

"Laguna, sir. I have a request."

And with all the strength she could muster up, she let tears build into her eyes. Sure it was wrong, and it was wrong to admit that she was pro at making herself cry, but it came in handy when she needed it to. One thing she prided herself on was that she had never intentionally cried when it came to Squall. All of those tears had been honestly spent.

"R-Rinoa?" Laguna gasped, nearly dropping the pointer in his hand.

She planted her feet defiantly opposite of each other, her head held high, "I want to joint he Special Ops Force. I won't take no for an answer this time. I know Squall made an arrangement with you specifying the exact opposite but I must be allowed to join. These are my friends and Squall is my love. I can't think of anywhere else I should be. There's only so much everyone can do to protect me. The rest is up to chance and circumstance. Let me join them. I must figure out the missing piece to this puzzle and I believe it can be found on the battlefield alongside my friends."

The liquid rolled down her rosy cheeks, causing Laguna to stare at them with a pure hatred. He simply loathed watching a woman cried. It had all started the first time he had ever witnessed Ellone cry when she had been stung by a bee when she had been a mere child. It was more than he cared to stomach and how some men got by with causing women to cry on a regular basis was beyond him. They had more tolerance than he did, that was for certain.

He sighed, "Rinoa…"

************

Just as he had been instructed, the transport hovered a few feet over the planet, allowing Squall to safely land on his feet. As soon as the High Commander was free of the vessel, the pilot muttered his blessings before taking off and returning to Balamb.

The black glass fortress remained as ominsecent as ever, towering over the region like a haunting reminder of the possibility of death and destruction.

The landscape was barren except for that large landmark. And Alec was no where in sight.

A gust of wind sent grains of dirt and leaves into the air, brushing past Squall's face with an whipping speed. The warrior lifted his arm to shield his eyes, all the while squinting the terrain for any sign of Alec.

"You are not even ready for an attack, knight."

His eyes rounded as he heard the strange voice. He jumped forward and whipped around, his dust skirt cracking in the air at the sudden change in direction.

Behind him stood Alec, his face twisted into an eager smirk, his body slumped into a lethargic stance.

Squall immediately unsheathed his weapon, holding it in front of his chest defensively, "Ultimecia. It's been too long."

The former Magic Military commander threw his head back and laughed an unnatural laugh, "Oh SeeD, you have not changed since our last exchange. Surely you have not forgotten the trials you suffered upon our last meeting? And yet you're still eager for another encounter?"

Eager? Definitely not. Ready? Absolutely in no way. Forced? That was more like it.

The sun glinted against the shiny metal of Squall's gunblade as he fell into his normal attacking stance, "Well then…shall we begin?"

Alec took a few steps backwards, flipping pieces of his strangly hair from his face, "Of course. Wasting time is never a smart decision. That was the lesson learned from our last exchange, was it not?"

Squall grit his teeth together in preparation, "You talk too much."

The host howled with his eerie cackling, "You make a good point, High Commander. How about less conversation and more devastation?"

************

How she managed to work things into her favor still remained a mystery to him. But needless to say Rinoa was once again a part of Squall's former SeeD unit and preparing for the battle ahead. It was clear that she had been waiting for this moment since the moment Squall had left and she had returned to her normal thought process.

Whatever it was that she wanted to piece together in the battle was still an enigma to him, but whatever it may be, he knew if anyone could do it, it was Rinoa. She was perceptive like that.

And after her initial reinstatement, the room grew quiet and the air thickened. All they could do was wait for the transmission or the command from Laguna. Time crawled. If it could stop it would have. And on many separate occasions Zell was sure that it had. And the fact that his stomach was growling like a caged animal didn't help any.

He frowned slightly, touching his stomach. '_Hot dogs_.'

************

Squall winced as he braced for the impact of the spell about to befall him. She wasn't wasting any time this time. It was all about revenge and his defeat as quickly as she could manage.

"What's the matter, SeeD? Am I attacking too fast?"

Clearly she had inflicted herself with haste and his slow spell was doing nothing to slow her down to a normal reaction time. At this rate he was going to collapse from fatigue in no time.

"Awww getting tired already?"

Squall grunted with anger, his lack of speech telling her that she was right in her assumption.

"But we've only just begun. I thought you were going to make this at least a little interesting for me! Here I was thinking we were going to have this epic battle and you're letting my hopes down. Is that any way to treat the future ruler of this world?"

His teeth ground together as he ran towards her, striking her with a heavy slash of his gunblade.

Alec's face grimaced but aside from that small reaction, it seemed ineffective. The protect spell that covered her was stronger than the last altercation they had experienced with one another.

Squall's opponent frowned, "Fine then. I suppose I will just have to tell the world about how their chosen leader failed to even make a decent stand against my power. That you were useless in stopping my second coming."

"Never! I won't ever let you take this world for your own!" Squall bellowed, running at her again, his gunblade at his side as he often held it when preparing to attack.

Ultimecia gave him a sardonic grin, "That's more like it. Strike me, SeeD. Give me your all. I want a worthy adversary."

With a cry of anger, he made another attack upon Alec's body. "Wrong! I've grown accustomed to that technique! Something else!" Squall's enemy commanded, dodging his attack with ease.

He knew he had missed. And as much as he had tried to react to his momentum continuing to pull him forward, he couldn't. His gunblade pierced the ground and Squall toppled forward, landing face first with a groan and a thud.

Alec laughed, "Pathetic. Have you not prepared for my coming, SeeD? You are not at 100%. It's a pity."

Squall coughed, spitting out grains of dirt, quickly pushing himself to his feet and grabbing for the hilt of his weapon in on swoop. As quickly as he returned to his feet, he slashed at her again, causing the host to cry out in pain as the blade hit him with a critical swoop.

The High Commander gasped for air as he stood across the way from the sorceress. Once the host recovered he smiled at Squall, raising an eyebrow of speculation, "Excellent. You recovered much quicker than I ever thought possible. Now, let's stop toying around. Let's finish this. I'm growing tired of this altercation. I must move on to bigger and better things. Let me have my revenge, mercenary."

Squall tightened his grip on the hilt of his gunblade. He wouldn't allow her to have that satisfaction. He couldn't. He would be letting everyone down. He just couldn't let her get past him. Not this time. He needed to finish her and he needed to finish her now. And if his life had to be lost to bring about such a result, then so be it.

Either way, this was the final battle. Squall lifted his arm to block a spell headed straight for him, crying out in pain as it hit him directly, throwing him backwards nearly fifty feet.

Luckily he landed on his feet, unluckily Alec had wasted no time in closing the distance. This time his hands were already glowing with another spell, "It's over, SeeD."

Squall's eyes rounded, a ball of yellow magic hurling for him.

* * *

**ALRIGHT! So there's the update. Sorry it's later than normal. I wanted it to be just right and I kept rushing it so I had to keep editing it. But this is what I came up with. I hope you all like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rinoa always gets her way. Makes me giggle. ;)**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	27. I am become Death

**Disclaimer: Not mine. The plot, yes. The characters and locations? No.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, sexual content, and drug reference.**

**Author's Note: Gettin' exciting, hrm?**

* * *

"_I am become death, destroyer of worlds_."J. Robert Oppenheimer

********

The yellow contrasted beautifully with Squall's light blue eyes. As it drew closer, Ultimecia caught sight of the light orbs turning nearly invisible under the light steaming off of her spell.

Squall let out a growl as he rolled to dodge the attack, grunting as he narrowly escaped his own weapon wounding him straight through the upper thigh. Thankfully he had acted quickly enough and came up unscathed.

He shakily replaced his hands on the hilt of his weapon and fell back into his attack stance.

Alec frowned, "You're getting a little irritating, SeeD."

"Then I'm doing my job," Squall hissed, alert eyes locking with the host's.

The sorceress stalked him for a moment, rattling her brain for what would be the ideal attack to end all of this. Then it hit her. The girl in blue.

"You know, considering all of the friends you had the last time, I'm rather surprised that the girl in blue didn't accompany you this time."

Squall's otherwise unmoving exterior faltered, his eyes wavering at the mention of Rinoa, "They have no business in this affair."

'_They didn't_.' Ultimecia mentally corrected him, coming to the final conclusion of how she would get her revenge. It wasn't through his death. She wanted more than to make him physically suffer. It just wasn't enough. No, she wanted him to mentally become crippled, and then she wanted to take his life. But how to go about it?

'_So many options. But which one is the best?_'

Absentmindedly she threw a firaga spell his direction, still pondering how she should go about his execution. His demise.

The warrior grunted as he rolled out of the way yet again. His mouth fell open as he tried to gather air into his burning lungs. This was bad. His lack of sleep and food intake was apparently catching up with him. It was then that he realized that he had been quite the fool. His heart had betrayed him. It had made him weak during his time of despair, and now that he needed to protect everyone, he couldn't. Not like he should, anyways. It was more than evident that Alec was only playing with him. During his last attack the host hadn't even looked at him, he had blindly sent a firaga spell his direction in a half-hearted hope that it would hit him dead on. No, he wanted to play with his prey before he finally finished him off. Like a cat would a mouse. The frisky feline would flip its prey into the air a few times, let it attempt to fight back, and then mortally wound the creature.

This fight was no different. If he didn't figure out a way to rid the world of Ultimecia soon then it was going to be bad. The special ops team would have to be called in, and who was to say that they could finish the job? The sorceress was much stronger this time.

As much as he tried to fight back the feeling of hopelessness, he just couldn't seem to shake it from his core. It was overbearing.

His hands shifted on the hilt of his weapon as he readied a charge at the witch. Just as his knees bent and his body leaned forward to make his mad dash at the host, his opponent whipped around, a cold sneer filling Alec's ghostly face. Squall froze. Something was wrong.

"I see that this is just a waste of my time, SeeD. What's the fun in finishing you off? Sure you'll suffer but what then? You won't have to see me kill the rest of your friends. No, that's no fun at all. You defeated me last time, Leonhart. This time, you will truly beg for me to finish _you_ off."

Squall's brows furrowed together as a challenging smile forced its way onto his scarred face, "Doubtful."

Alec's head bowed and laughter fell from his lips, "You are so sure of yourself, SeeD. It is rather sad, honestly."

Alright, something was definitely wrong. This battle wasn't progressing the way Squall had intended at all. Squall let out a growl as he wracked his brain for a possible spell to use, when his mind settled on the Aura spell. A nice renozokuken on her ass would shut her up.

His hand fisted in front of his face as he began to cast the spell, glaring at his enemy the entire time. Even if it didn't finish her off, it would damage her immensely.

Suddenly Alec was clapping his hands mockingly, shaking his head slightly, "Oh dear High Commander, you are truly determined to win, aren't you?"

The glow that had begun to form around him quickly faded as he stopped during his incantation.

Ultimecia pointed a finger directly at him, the hosts' eyes glowing a darker shade of red, "It doesn't matter now, SeeD. _You have lost_."

The last thing Squall remembered seeing were red eyes and then a searing hot pain filling his body.

************

Ok, he was embarrassed but he just couldn't help himself. It had been hours since Squall had left and still no radio transmission. And every time the aerial watch reported in, Squall was still battling the sorceress.

So what was the point in getting all hyped up? They should just be relaxing until time to do battle, gathering their strength. But…he was certainly gathering more strength than the rest of them.

"He keeps dozin' off! What the hell, someone go smack him!" Irvine grumbled, staring at the rest of them incredulously, "If I was the one doin' it, then it'd be an all out bitch-fest!"

"Oh Irvy, please-"

"Don't '_oh Irvy'_ me, Selphs. This is such _bullshit_. See? _Look at him_! He's fuckin' snoring!"

He wasn't snoring to be honest. Ok, maybe once. Or twice. But he was still vaguely aware of the conversation that was occurring around him. It wasn't like he was in a deep slumber or anything. They were talking about him, weren't they? And he didn't remember Quistis dressed like she was now when they had been waiting for their orders earlier. Surely she would change out of those high heels and that skirt…_surely_.

"Wake him up, Quistis."

"Why have I been the one selected?"

"Because…you're the only one he won't punch the livin' hell out of when he wakes up."

Quistis sighed, sending Irvine a hateful stare before leaning towards Zell, "Hey…um…Zell?"

He didn't want to get up yet. There wasn't any point. All he would do is wake up and then snooze off again in a little while. Why not just let him sleep?

"I don't know how the hell he does it. Squall is out there in battle with the sorceress and he's sleepin'."

"You're just mad because he's so relaxed. You're always so nervous about everything."

Irvine stared at Selphie, "Hey babe? Shut up."

She giggled.

Rinoa sighed, leaning back in her seat beside Laguna, "He really is a rare breed."

Laguna was silent.

"Laguna…sir?" She asked, turning to look at him.

Her mouth fell open upon her discovery. Laguna's head was lulled back against the back of the couch, his mouth parted with heavy breathing, his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling with a steady pace. The great Laguna Loire had fallen asleep as well.

"Hey um…guys?" Rinoa said, elevating her voice slightly for the others to hear.

"What is it?" Selphie asked, skipping over to her friend.

Rinoa pointed at Squall's father and couldn't help but smile, "He's out like a light."

Irvine smacked his forehead, "This is ridiculous. I swear, they could sleep through the whole battl-"

The com center flashed red with an urgent message. Seifer grumbled as he allowed it to connect, "What is it?"

One of the aerial watchers was on the other end of the transmission, "We have an update."

"You've had plenty of updates. Just get on with it," Seifer muttered coldly, reclining in his seat.

Although a little unsettled, the watcher nodded, "Yes sir. It seems that something has happened. One of the duelers has fallen. We have been unable to decipher which one has been defeated but we think that it is wise that the special ops team responds immediately."

Seifer's eyes glinted with a sort of satisfaction, "So Squall fell to her after all, did he?"

The room instantly sobered and all eyes focused in on the transmission. All open eyes, that is.

Rinoa rushed to the com center, holding onto the back of Seifer's chair as she leaned in, "B-but…you said you couldn't tell which one it was that fell."

The aerial watcher nodded gravely, "With our own safety in mind, we stay as far away from Centra Region as possible. Only one dueler is moving. The other has fallen. The special ops team should respond. The High Commander has not radioed that he is indeed the victor, so we find it best that you all investigate."

Seifer's light eyes wandered over to find a statuesque Rinoa staring at the screen. His brows fell together at the look she had on her face. There she went, ruining all his fun. Leonhart was finally out of the picture and she had to go and make a face like that. He sighed, "It's alright, Rin."

"Mr. President, sir, please wake up," Selphie whispered, shaking Laguna's arms lightly.

The bubbly man sat straight up, coming out of his nap as one would an exorcism, screaming and arms flailing, "WHAT?"

Selphie nearly fell backwards at her surprise, staring at him with wide eyes, "I-it's just m-me, sir. Selphie. You need to wake up, please. We have just received word that one of the fighters has just fallen."

Laguna's face was unreadable as he quickly jumped to his feet and rushed to the com screen, "Which one?"

"It is unknown, sir."

"Has the High Commander radioed you, yet?"

The watcher shook his head gravely, his own suspicions quite evident.

Laguna swallowed, his lower lip shaking with a multitude of emotions, "R-r-right then. Special ops team…please report to the Centra Region to investigate."

"Zell, get up!" Quistis commanded, poking his chest.

The blond let out a cry as he bolted upwards, his forehead connecting with Quistis', sending her glasses hurling to the floor.

The former instructor winced in pain as she immediately recoiled, grabbing her forehead with pain, "Zell!"

"Shit that hurt!" Zell whimpered, rubbing his head as well, reaching down on the floor and grabbing her glasses, "Sorry, Quisty."

She shook her head, "It's alright. We need to report to Centra Region."

Zell was about to hand her the seeing instrument when he thought better of it. He brushed her grasping hands away from his as he slid the frames onto her face, pushing them up far enough for her to see.

Quistis swallowed, staring at him with wide, unblinking eyes.

"There," He muttered, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear as well.

"T-thanks," Quistis whispered, nearly getting lost in the moment.

"Why do we need to report to Centra Region?" Zell asked, yawning.

Immediately the reality of everything settled back down in the intellectual blonde's chest as she grabbed Zell's hand and squeezed it, "Squall or Ultimecia has fallen. They don't know for sure yet."

Zell's face grew somber almost in the click of one's fingers, "…They don't know which one?"

She nodded gravely, "That's right. They need us to go and investigate."

"Squall would radio if he needed help," Seifer added, leaning behind Rinoa to glare at Zell, "But there hasn't been any contact made with him yet. You all are to investigate the area. If Squall is indeed the victor, his radio could have been damaged during the altercation, causing his lack of communication. And if Ultimecia has won, you are to defeat her, if possible."

Zell looked at Seifer with unseeing eyes, "Yes…"

Seifer slammed a fist against the desk, "Well get a fuckin' move on, chicken wuss! You're in charge of the special ops team. They're countin' on you. You can't flake out on them now. Move!"

************

The ride to Centra Region seemed long. Longer than a typical journey to the continent. All the while everyone remained silent. Stoic. Now that Rinoa actually focused, she couldn't really hear anyone else breathing. Although that would have been impossible. They were all still very much alive, even if they didn't feel like they were.

She surely didn't. Although the reports hadn't confirmed which of the two sides had fallen ,everyone had automatically thought of the worst. But why? It was Squall. Squall Leonhart. The savior of SeeD. Of the world. He couldn't be defeated, right? He was practically invincible.

But on more than one occasion Rinoa had witnessed a very human and very mortal side of her lover. And that's what frightened her. Perhaps through all of his mental turmoil, Ultimecia had focused her attacks and brought the silent SeeD to his knees.

But then again, who was to say that Squall hadn't capitalized on the host? Who was to say that Squall hadn't completely destroyed his opponent with just one blow from his powerful attack? She had witnessed first hand the power behind Squall's release. He was truly a force to be reckoned with. One hit could take such a huge amount of power from someone, if it didn't kill them immediately.

'_That's what happened. He won. Squall won. He had to have one. It can't end like this. It can't…Not yet_.' She mentally told herself, swallowing down the fears that were spreading like wild fire through her stomach. It was then that she noticed her hands were shaking, along with her knees, along with…all of her, really. She was trembling like a child cowering in the corner, waiting for the storm to pass. One quick glance around told her that everyone else was as well. She could physically see Zell shaking from across the transport.

His head was bowed, his shoulders moving up and down as he waited for the transport to touch down. Ever since the news had befallen the martial artist, he had been in this condition. And as much as anyone tried to comfort him and tell him to look on the bright side, the more his shoulders heaved. The more his hands shook. The quieter he became.

It was then that Rinoa had finally grasped just how near and dear Squall had been to the blond. Squall usually acted irritated with the saucy man, but in all honesty, the hints of a smile usually played at Squall's mouth whenever Zell was around. Or whenever Zell was making a complete fool of himself.

Would this be the way Squall would be acting if it had been the other way around and Zell had been the one engaging the sorceress in combat? Rinoa couldn't help but wonder such a possibility.

A newfound fondness for Zell overtook her then. Slowly, unsurely, she got to her feet and crossed the distance between the two benches. Timidly she reached out and touched his shoulder. Zell lifted his head sluggishly, his eyes red with unshed tears.

The former sorceress crouched down in front of him, her eyes searching his, their unsaid torment spoken with the a meeting of eyes.

"I'm sorry," Zell whispered, loud enough for ears to hear, and her ears only.

Rinoa tilted her head to the side, catching her breath in her lungs, "Me too," She whispered back, throwing her arms around his neck.

Muscled arms came about her waist, holding onto her tightly. The two friends buried their faces into one another's shoulders, taking comfort in one another's presence.

The others watched in silence, their own unresolved feelings for their friend playing over and over inside of their heads.

"We have arrived," The pilot murmured softly, all too aware of the emotional delicacy of the situation unfolding a few feet behind of the cockpit.

"Right," Zell muttered, giving Rinoa one final squeeze, pulling her up with him.

"Let's go see what's happened," He whispered, pulling away from her. She nodded meekly, straightening her back with her determination.

"Squall's alright, he has to be," Selphie offered, taking her spot next to Irvine, holding onto his waist for dear life.

Irvine nodded gravely, "It's Squall. He has to be alright, right?'

The others remained silent as they grabbed their equipment and went to wait in front of the exit.

"I wish you good luck, SeeDs," The pilot shouted to them as the door opened and they each left the safety of the transport and entered the dusty world of Centra Region.

They watched as the door shut behind them and the transport quickly began to ascend back into the air.

Zell swallowed roughly at his throat, glancing about the terrain for any signs of Squall or the sorceress.

"They could be anywhere," Quistis told him, staying close to his side.

The tattooed man nodded, eyes pricking along the horizon for any clues that may be found there.

"They can't be too far," Irvine said, pointing at something up ahead of them.

Selphie raised an eyebrow, "Why do you say that?"

Irvine went forward, bending down to the ground and removing something from its surface, "It's Squall's necklace."

Horror gripped at Rinoa's heartstrings as she immediately recognized the silver lion that usually remained around Squall's neck. A second accessory was adorning it, though.

She rushed forward and held out her hand, "May I?"

Irvine nodded, dropping the necklace into her eager hands.

Rinoa studied the piece for a moment, eyes lingering on the lion's head for a moment before falling to the second piece. This one was rounded and quite familiar.

"My ring," She whispered, touching it.

Slowly she reached behind her neck and fastened the jewelry into place. The larger piece, the lion head, fell down and covered her heart, glistening as the sun danced across its surface. '_It just fell off. That's all. It just fell off while he was fighting. Everything is alright_.'

"C'mon, Rinoa. We need to scout the area," Quistis told her, grasping her shoulder with a firm hand. It wasn't that the blonde didn't respect Rinoa's pain, but she knew that if she let the little rebel think about it too much longer she would think herself into a helpless state, crippling her ability to defend herself or even help them at all in combat. Since Rinoa was the best white mage that they all had, she was crucial to the fight. She was stoked to the brim with white magic and healing items. They didn't have a hope of winning without her.

"I'm sorry," She coughed out, turning to Quistis with an indignant expression on her sweet face, "We need to do our job. Everyone's counting on us. Squall's counting on us."

Quistis nodded her approval, "Exactly. So let's go."

Rinoa fell into her spot alongside Quistis as they began to journey the terrain, constantly looking for any signs of the combat that had occurred earlier.

After thirty minutes or so, they came upon a large, looming building, the black glass shimmering its intent upon the small group.

"D-do you think that they're in t-t-there," Selphie stuttered, her hand instantly intertwining with Irvine's.

The sniper stared in wonder at the large glass building, a shiver shooting down his spine, "I…I don't think so."

Zell wandered off a little ways from the awestruck group, continuing to glance around the area. A heavy feeling crept into his stomach. They were close. It was then that he noticed something, just off in the distance, behind a small hill.

Someone's boots were poking out just enough for his alert eyes to take notice upon. His heart hammered in his chest as he headed towards the fallen body. Was Alec wearing boots? Surely he was wearing them as well, he was a commander of the Magic Military for shit's sake. What kind of commander wouldn't be wearing combat boots during combat? But still his mind doubted his assumption.

As he rounded the hill, his eyes fell upon the fallen body of…he couldn't quite make it out. They were lying face down and something was draped over top of the body. Some sort of robe?

Zell raised an eyebrow, quietly reminding himself that this may be a trick and to only proceed with caution. Slowly he bent down, his shaking fingers twisting into the blood red robe's fabric.

With a hiss, Zell ripped the cloth from the fallen fighter, throwing it to the side. The others in the entourage were silent, waiting for his judgment to be passed, "Who is it?" Irvine called, walking towards Zell.

The blond man stared at the corpse, rolling it onto its back. Vacant green eyes stared back at him. The face was mangled and completely pale. No scar. The man was unknown to him. This wasn't Squall. It was the host. Or rather the host's body.

"It's Ultimecia," Zell murmured, inspiration filling his veins.

Relief fell over the group like a bomb, exploding their hearts with the good news, "So where's Squall?" Quistis asked, the only one remaining focused.

Zell glanced around further, trying to blink the nasty sun rays from his eyes, "I don't know. I don't see his body anywhere, and I don't see him either."

Suddenly, the looming black fortress behind them quaked and hissed as the front doors opened. The group whipped around to find one lone figure exiting the ominous building.

The leader of the special ops team ran over and rejoined his comrades, "Be ready for an attack," He told them, his hands fisting readily.

The figure drew steadily closer, clearly not interested in the fact that the group was armed and ready.

"You there, halt. Identify yourself immediately!" Zell demanded, taking a step forward.

The unidentified being stopped, head tilting to the side.

Rinoa's eyes widened as she stared at the approaching figure closer, "Zell! Zell! That's Squall!"

Everyone quickly ran forward, smiles on their faces. They stopped a few short feet in front of Squall. He was battered in a few spots, but very much alive.

"SQUALL! You're alright!" Selphie exclaimed.

The High Commander smiled slightly, his body abnormally rigid, even for Squall, "Indeed. I'm glad you have all come."

"Well of course, dude. You didn't radio to the aerial watchers so we had to come and see what was goin' on!" Irvine informed him.

Again Squall nodded, "I see. That was an error on my part. I am sincerely sorry."

"It's alright, we're just happy to see that you're alright, buddy. You had us pretty worried there for a while," Zell said, smiling at his friend brightly.

The High Commander made a grunting noise of comprehension before he turned his focus towards Rinoa. She had yet to come forward. Much to his chagrin, "You…have not said anything yet."

Rinoa recoiled, her eyes widening, "NO!"

The party immediately stiffened, turning to Rinoa with shocked faces, "Rinoa, what's wrong?"

"Yes Rinoa, why do you distance yourself from me?" Squall asked solemnly, placing one hand on his hip in normal Squall fashion.

The former sorceress' eyes shook within their walls, her head shaking from side to side quickly, "No…no, no, no. You're not Squall. No!"

The unit backed away, unsure eyes staring at Squall, "Rinoa…it's Squall. See, he's right here."

"NO! Look at his eyes!" She wailed, pointing at him as she continued to distance herself from him.

The others quickly whipped their focus away from her and back to the battle worn commander. A red glow was glistening around the usually clear blue eyes.

He laughed awkwardly, a second voice joining with his. Slowly, deliberately, he reached underneath his dust skirt and withdrew his gunblade, "Just as quick as I remember, dear girl."

The unit let a unified gasp pass through their lips as the jumped backwards, unsheathing their own weapons.

"She…she…she possessed him!" Rinoa whispered, shaking her head angrily, "NO!"

Squall looked at her lazily, rolling his eyes, "Such a whiner. How does he put up with you?"

Zell glared at the sorceress, jumping from foot to foot in anticipation, "You bitch! Give us back our friend."

"This was the only way I could truly make him suffer. I'm going to kill all of you with his hands, and then take his life. It's a beautiful plan, one that you all played into perfectly. Now then-" Squall murmured, his hands tightening on his weapons hilt, "Let's begin."

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**0____o Yeah, that's what I said.**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	28. In the Blink of an Eye

**Disclaimer: Not mine. How many times must I remind you of this? Lol jk. ^^**

**Rating: M for language, violence, sexual content, and drug reference. **

**Author's note: So apparently everyone finds the end of my last chapter to be very…surprising? Ha! That makes me smile. I'm doing my job right, then. I'm so glad you all liked it. I was a little worried about how it was going to be received but I have to say I was more than thrilled with the reviews and messages I received over my last chapter. Now please forgive me for my late update. I've had a lot of personal issues going on this past week. Let's see…my birthday and a failed engagement with my fiancé. Yeah…hasn't really been my week, so please forgive my lateness. Enjoy! =)**

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"_Now the dark begins to rise. Save your breath, it's far from over. Leave the lost and dead behind, now's your chance to run for cover. I don't wanna change the world, I just wanna leave it colder."-_ Breaking Benjamin, _I Will Not Bow_

"_Devour. Devour. Suffocate your own empire. Devour. Devour. It's your final hour_." – Shinedown, _Devour_

_********_

The air smelled like fumes, causing the entire group to feel light-headed. The winds raced past them as it brought on a new round of the seemingly toxic air, hushed whispers warning them that this battle would be one of their friends' last. Who it would be, no one would know. Either way, it burned. It was like someone had stabbed them through the chest and poured alcohol over their fresh wound, relishing in their absolute torment. This was the trick that no one had seen coming, not even Squall.

Maybe the air wasn't harmful but it was definitely harder to breathe now. It had been harder ever since she had noticed the red film around Squall's eyes. It had been harder since she had noticed the vehement look on his face whenever he held her within his sight. Was anyone else feeling this way? Surely it was a normal way to react to such a predicament.

She wasn't far off. Poor Zell had been fighting back a serious case of double vision the moment Squall had withdrew his gunblade. His best friend and combat mentor was raising his weapon against them. He had every intention of hurting them. Well _he_ didn't, but still, his physical body was going to try and end their lives right here, in the middle of a desolate continent with no one around to witness their execution. They were to be butchered.

And that was definitely something Squall could do. The man fought with such a ferocity and unrequited skill that the very idea of challenging his attacks caused a wave of sickness to wash over Zell.

"You're hesitating. Such a move will end with your death," Squall warned him. Whether or not it was a threat from the sorceress or a sobering hint from Squall's consciousness, he didn't know. Either way, Zell took the clue.

"SeeDs, formation. Rinoa, caste triple and then haste on all of us, understood?"

She swallowed but nodded her comprehension. Rinoa's head bowed as she began casting her spell, the wind swirling around her in a sort of hypnotizing dance.

Meanwhile, Irvine ran forward, raising his weapon to his eyelevel. One decent shot could hit and possibly end the battle now. One shot, straight through the head. His scope settled directly on the middle of Squall's head, lingering on the hints of his scar.

The enemy smirked at him, blue eyes flashing with intrigue, "Going to shoot me, are you?"

The sniper let out a cry as his hands began to shake and his aim instantly suffered. It was too much to do. He couldn't destroy Squall. He wouldn't be the one to take his friend's life, even if the sorceress had claimed his body for her own. He would not allow for such a fate to befall his friend, not by his own hands.

Suddenly, Squall acted. With his gunblade firmly held within his palms, he sprinted towards Irvine. With his weakened state of mind, his reactions would be delayed. An easy opponent to off first.

"IRVINE LOOK OUT!" Selphie screeched, turning towards her shaken cowboy, reaching for his duster jacket in vain. Squall was far too quick for her to even have a chance at pulling the spacey man from danger.

Irvine reached for the trigger of his weapon again, pressing the metal lever in, the gun backfiring into his unprepared shoulder. He winced in pain as the butt of the gun bruised him. And not only had he suffered from his own attack, he had clearly missed. It only took one swift stroke downwards of the gunblade for the sorceress to leave Irvine defenseless.

His eyes rounded as he threw a punch at his former commander, letting out a cry as he missed. One of Squall's strong knees slammed into his stomach, causing the man to fall forward.

It was a whistling sound. Is what Squall's enemies typically heard before they were decapitated? A sickening whistle that whispered its evil intentions into one's ears before finally delivering the final blow?

He could hear them screaming his name, demanding that he react in some sort of way. But it was impossible. As he toppled over Squall's knee, the entire world seemed to suffer from a major case of a slow spell. Or at least to him. They were running to help him. He shouldn't have rushed ahead of all of them. He had been so certain that he could defeat the possessed man with one bullet to the head…he had been sadly mistaken. He was the one in need of being saved, now.

Selphie's eyes clouded with fear as she drew closer. She had too much she needed to apologize for, too much she needed to say to Irvine. He needed to know. He couldn't leave her now. "IRVY!"

Squall grabbed the man by his long mane of hair, and tugged him upwards again. The possessed man's lips were already beginning to whisper an incantation as he brought the immobile sniper's eyes to meet with his own. Irvine was horrified. It was more than evident. And Ultimecia couldn't get enough of it, "I hope you have a protection spell on, SeeD."

With a growl, the High Commander shoved Irvine away from him and shot him square in the chest with a thundaga spell.

His mouth fell open, tears of pain flying from his eyes as he went flying backwards, landing in a storm of dust and rocks a good distance away.

"IRVINE!" Selphie cried again, giving chase after him.

"Selphie, wait! We need to stay in formation! SELPHIE!" Zell yelled after her, the side of his eyes detecting movement from their enemy.

She didn't heed his calling. All that she could think about was getting to Irvine. He needed a potion. She couldn't just let him lie there in pain…or worse. She wouldn't allow it to happen, "I'm coming!"

"Where you going, missy?" Squall hissed. Last time she had checked he hadn't been anywhere close to her.

She shrieked in surprise as he suddenly appeared to her left, dashing straight towards her. It was her turn to falter. It was much harder to grip her weapon than she had intended. Her sweaty palms definitely didn't help matters any. The hilt of her weapon slid from her hands, flying into the air in a rookie move.

At this, Ultimecia cackled, "You can't even keep a firm grasp on your weapon. You actually expect to do damage against me?!"

Before she had a chance to react, she was sent hurling against a large boulder, her head connecting with the rough surface. Her vision swirled before her as she slid down the cool surface. As much as she tried she couldn't bring her limbs to mind her mind's bidding.

"Selphie, don't move. I'm coming!"

It was Rinoa's voice. A weak smile flickered over her mouth as a film of white surrounded the edge of her vision. '_Good ole, Rinoa. Always taking care of me…_'

"Keep your eyes open!"

It was Rinoa again. She really needed to stop talking. It was beginning to hurt her head. Well…her head already hurt. And it was warm. Was she bleeding?

Her eyes wandered over to where Irvine's motionless body laid. It didn't matter if she was bleeding or not. Nothing mattered except for him and look what had happened. She had failed to protect him. She had failed to let him know how much he meant to her. It had all happened so fast…surely Zell and the others were in shock at the events that had so hastily transpired before them.

It had really been only a matter of a few seconds. But the events that had occurred during said seconds had been detrimental to the fight. The only ones left for the rest of the battle were Zell, Quistis, and Rinoa. And Rinoa's sole purpose was to heal during the battle. That left Zell and Quistis to defeat the unnatural abilities of Squall and the deadly spells of the sorceress, all rolled up into one mobile frame.

Her eyes sank shut. It wouldn't hurt to close them. She wasn't going to be of any use now anyways. Her right leg was hurting so terribly bad that she was rather sure she was going to be sick .She wasn't a doctor but she was rather certain that it was broken. And the extent of her head injury eluded her at the present. Actually it was hard to think about anything right now.

Rinoa stared on with worried eyes as Selphie closed her eyes. "SELPHIE?"

No response.

Zell held onto Rinoa's shoulder roughly, "Don't chase after her or Irvine. Separating will only get us all killed."

She nodded, taking notice of that broken glow his eyes held.

The thoughts running through his head were a lot more mature than his usual array of thinking patterns. '_Squall never lost control of the unit like this. He would be embarrassed of me. I can't…I can't let him down. I can't let everyone die. I can't let the world end like this. I can't let Squall fall to her like this. He's in there somewhere. I need to reach him…how? Someone…please tell me how!_'

The hunter was stalking his prey now.

"You're hesitating again. Are you really going to make it this easy for me?"

It was Squall's voice, that's what was scarring about it. Rinoa shook her head to remove the eerie tone from her memory. This wasn't '_her'_ Squall. This was a controlled Squall. This was her enemy. She couldn't let her emotions control her actions. She couldn't let him succumb to this darkness. She wouldn't allow it.

"Zell, orders?!" Quistis exclaimed, adjusting her glasses on the bridge of her nose.

His heart was fluttering so wildly in his chest that at any moment he was sure it would burst and he would fall to the ground a lifeless heap of cowardly corpse. Typically he was itching for the chance to prove himself in combat. But he had always wanted to prove himself to Squall, now that he was fighting against said man, his resolve had been broken. He had no reason left anymore.

Someone screamed.

He whipped around, running towards the origin of the spine tingling noise.

"Quistis, look out!"

That had been Rinoa. Where was Quistis?! Zell stopped mid-run to glance about for the location of the blond intellectual.

The crack of a whip. The sound of steel deflecting the attack. A laugh. Another crack of a whip. A cry of surprise. A sudden change in the temperature. Then, his saw her. Her whip was wrapped around the forearm of her stalking predator. Said predator was grinning like a mad man.

Quistis was jerking at the handle of her rope-like weapon eagerly, wary eyes holding steady with Squall's. Zell immediately gave chase, ignoring all prior orders of sticking together. Rinoa would be safe alone for now. Quistis needed him.

The earth made a rustling sound as Squall slammed his gunblade into the ground with his free hand. He was unarmed and completely exposed but apparently that didn't matter. No, it didn't change anything.

Ultimecia gave an evil laugh before reaching for Quistis. The blonde leaned away, trying to free her hand from her weapon. How could she have been so stupid? Surely she could have came to the conclusion that the sorceress would come after her next? There really wasn't any pattern to her madness but the least she could have done would have been prepared for such a likelihood. Instead, she had been completely taken by surprise and instead of using reason and a fool proof thought process, she had simply followed her instinct to defend herself. And it had backfired. Greatly.

"Don't look so sad. I will be a forgiving ruler. Perhaps I will consider sparing Balamb Garden's inhabitants."

Quistis grit her teeth together as she jerked at her captive hands again. The sorceress threw her head back and cackled again, grabbing Quistis with the now free hand.

Her arms felt like they were on fire. Her eyes rounded as she realized that underneath Squall's palms, where he had a firm grip on her arms, her flesh was beginning to glow like the embers of a fire.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt for too long," Squall whispered to her in a nasty form of consultation.

With a circular motion, his arm was freed of the whip and Quistis was sent hurling backwards, a large ball of the Flare spell heading for her. She landed with the sounds of bones cracking.

"ZE-" She was silenced. The ball of fury struck her, enveloping her entire body in a wall of flames and cracking magic.

It was too easy. Simply too easy. This was what they had expected to stop her reign with? A group of disturbed SeeDs who couldn't even put up a decent fight. Surely SeeD would have planned a better reception group?

Her lips curled over her teeth into a dark sneer, "This body definitely has all the benefits I need to rule this world. None will conquer me. Give up, SeeDs. Death is not something you should fear. Think of this as a new journey, one full of mysteries. Surrender yourself to me now."

Zell kept swallowing at his throat, staring in disbelief at the carnage that littered the battlefield. His friends had been completely incapacitated in a mere matter of seconds. Surely it hadn't even been ten minutes that they had actually engaged Ultimecia in battle.

This was it. They had lost.

************

Seifer glared at the aerial watcher, leaning in towards the com screen, "So you're telling me that only two members of the special ops team are still able to fight?"

The reporter nodded, "Yes sir."

"They just fuckin' got there!"

Laguna cast a look at Seifer and then back to the reporter. He was still in shock. His son had turned on his unit? Surely something was the matter. How could he ever raise his weapon against people that care for him, or that he cared for?

"Have you tried to radio the High Commander?"

The aerial watcher stared at Laguna with worried eyes, "Sir…the High Commander is a little preoccupied with…dismantling the special ops unit. Radio hailing has not worked."

Alright, so he had stepped right into that one. Surely he wasn't the only one who knew Squall couldn't be capable of such a thing.

"Seifer-"

The grumpy blond simply cocked an eyebrow at Laguna's address, "what?"

"Can you handle this alone?"

He rolled his eyes as if he had been insulted, "I think I can handle it."

If he wasn't the president and if he had the energy to actually attempt it, Laguna would have punched the annoying grease ball square between the eyes. However, he needed to try and talk to Squall.

"Prepare a transport."

Seifer leaned back in his seat as Laguna headed towards the door, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Just don't worry about it. Keep your mind focused on your task as the stand-in commander."

The former knight snorted, "Well if Squall's anything like you are, and I think he may be, you're headed down there to try and help the others out. Just remember, with age, reflexes decrease."

Again, if he had the energy to waste on the annoying man, he would have punched him. No…he would have beat the shit out of his smart ass.

***********

"You have to stop this!" Zell exclaimed, running towards Rinoa, stepping between her and Squall's approaching form.

The High Commander didn't respond, nor make any motion that he had even had heard Zell's demand. Nor that he cared. He continued to approach, gunblade once again within Squall's skilled, and deadly, hands.

"Zell…I need to heal the others!" Rinoa exclaimed, touching his shoulder.

It was true, if she didn't heal the others now, it was going to be a somber day tomorrow. But if he let her run off to heal them, not only would she be open for an attack, but he would as well. But something in the pit of the blond's stomach told him that the girl in blue was to be the last one destroyed by the sorceress.

"Squall, please!" Zell tried again, his chest rising and falling with short, uneven breaths. Never in a million years would he have imagined a scene like this. And what made it worse was knowing that Squall had put all of his trust into him and he had let the possessed man down. Again.

He hadn't been able to do anything. Instead his unit had been destroyed in a mere matter of moments upon engaging the sorceress in combat. Surely it was a record.

"Can you attempt to use your white magic from here? Are they within your range?"

Rinoa frowned, closing her eyes in an attempt to sense her magic's barrier, "I can reach Irvine and Selphie. Quistis is too far away."

Quistis…the woman who had managed to captivate him and steal his thoughts in a mere matter of a month of so. The woman who he had always held a great interest towards. The woman he wanted to protect. The woman who was lying face down in the ground, unmoving. The woman whose clothes were sizzling with the remnants of a nasty Flare spell.

The mere idea made his stomach flip and his brows furrowed together in anger, "Heal Irvine and Selphie. I'll buy you time."

Rinoa's nodded gravely, swallowing as she focused all of her magical energy into a healing spell. Hopefully she was in time. Hopefully the magic used against her friends wasn't too strong and would allow for proper healing. Hopefully she could save them. Hopefully…please, let her be in time.

"You're boring me!" Ultimecia hissed, "Let's finish this. You are keeping me from my real prize."

Surely Squall was someone within the depths of this possession. Squall was too much of a fighter not to be contending with this demon from the inside out. And Zell was quick enough to notice such a possibility with twitches from the man every once in a while, whenever he was about to land a devastating blow on one of his friends. It was there. A quick tick of his fingers and head, and a flickering of his eyes. The red around his orbs would fade for the slightest of moments and then it would turn back to the glowing crimson it previously held.

"Then c'mon then, how about you stop talking and get down to business, you dumb bitch!" Zell growled, his hands fisting so tightly that the leather gloves he wore squeaked under his pressure.

This caused his opponent to smirk and simply stop, "Your insults will not threaten me, SeeD. You are foolish if you believe this to be a reality."

"No, you're the foolish one."

Ultimecia raised an eyebrow, "Is that so? Perhaps you should prove your statement to me, if you are brave enough, my cowardly SeeD."

Zell let out a grunt of frustration as he pressed all of his energy into his heels, his body leaning forward as he made a sprint towards his opponent.

************

It wasn't working. No matter how many times she tried to cure them and use the Esuna spell, it didn't seem to have any effect. Even Selphie's concussion wouldn't subside in the slightest. Yet again, she wasn't strong enough.

She felt like crying. She felt like falling to her knees and screaming at the top of her lungs. Squall had been right in sending her away. It had been for her protection. He knew that her skills weren't nearly as developed as they others. He knew that in combat she would be completely useless. He knew that this was going to be a battle that would change the history of the world. He had known. And she had been stupid enough to doubt him. To doubt the logic that had saved the world once before. And now look at the way things had played out? If she had simply supported his decision to send her away, Selphie wouldn't have felt so passionately about leaving his unit. If she had simply believed him, the original SeeD unit would still be together, with Squall as the leader. If she hadn't had been so stubborn, Squall would still be in control of his own body. Her friends wouldn't be hurt. And the world wouldn't have been in such jeopardy. It was all her fault. All of it.

The winds ripped past her, throwing strands of her hair over her eyes. She let out a gasp of surprise as the wind tunneled past her. Something was happening. '_ZELL!_'

The former sorceress spun around, frantically pushing her hair from her vision. It had been a while since they had separated. Zell had lasted much longer than any of the others had. But now…a vortex of wind was rushing towards the two fighters.

Zell was braced against the ground, leaning strangely to his left. Squall was towering over him, his hands glowing. '_NO!_'

"ZELL USE A REFLECT SPELL NOW!"

The weakened blond vaguely heard the word 'reflect'. Of course. His began to mutter the incantation as quickly as he could, his eyes locked with Squall's the entire time. The attacker frowned at the blond's refusal to fall so easily. "Not so fast, SeeD."

Zell let out a howl of pain as Squall pierced the tattooed man's hand to the earth, thus breaking Zell's incantation and ability to focus.

The winds gathered further, a looming wall of wind swirling over top of them, instilling fear into their hearts.

"Now…you're going to be devoured, SeeD," Squall told him, the red around his eyes temporarily flickering to a light pink before returning back to its crimson shade.

"SQUALL NO!" Zell tried, whimpering with pain as Squall withdrew his weapon from Zell's injured hand.

"Your little friend can't hear you now, boy. Say goodbye!"

With the flick of his wrists, the wind all gathered together to form the largest tornado that Zell had ever had the chance to witness. He was vaguely aware that Squall was backing away, to distance himself from Zell's impending doom and his safety.

"ZELL-" Rinoa screeched, running his direction. If she could get close enough and whisper an incantation quick enough, she might be able to save his life.

Squall grit his teeth together as he pointed his finger at Zell, the wind hurling straight for the helpless man.

A quick flash of red in front of the tattooed man filled the air an instant before he was struck.

Zell howled in pain as he was lifted from the air and thrown nearly two hundred feet from the battlefield.

Rinoa let out a sigh of relief, thankful that she had been able to cast a shell over Zell before he had been struck by the powerful spell. Holding onto her chest as she attempted to catch her breath, she was completely unaware that the sorceress' full attention was now completely focused on her. And that she was aware that she had attempted to spare her comrade from death only milliseconds before her spell had hit him.

"You…you are my final obstacle, and my greatest weapon against him."

Rinoa lifted her head to find Squall towering over her, a sadistic expression molded onto his face. Her heart skipped a beat. The man she loved was going to kill her against his own will.

She let out a cry of fear as he fisted his gloved hand into her hair and pulled her to her feet, "I want this one to matter. I won't finish you off with a spell, a direct, physical attack is much better. I want him to suffer through this. He's going to take your life with his own gunblade."

There was a round of unnatural laughter as the rebel struggled against his firm hold, "Death awaits you, Sorceress Rinoa. You should embrace your fate."

She shook her head angrily, kicking Squall as hard as she could in his shin. He let out a growl as he released her. It was her chance. She had to distance herself. But how? She couldn't run forever. But perhaps during her flee attempt she would be able to concoct a plan.

So she ran. All she could hear was the wind whipping past her ears and the eerie laughter of her death following behind her at a leisurely pace. Squall couldn't fall like this. She wouldn't allow him to die with the knowledge that he had destroyed his comrades. That he had destroyed the woman he loved. That he had failed to save the world from a gruesome fate. No…she would save him. No matter what.

Then it started to rain.

* * *

**Like I said, I'm sooooo sorry it's late. Please have pity on me. I'm having a pretty rough time. But now that I have this update in, it shouldn't be long before the next one. Definitely in under a week. Thanks for the patience everyone, seriously. ^^**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	29. Goodbye My Lover

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or locations. Plot is all mine…the evil…sick plot…lol.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, sexual content, and drug reference.**

**Author's note: Alright so you all seemed to really enjoy that last chapter. ^^ I was hoping it would go over well. I was a little worried as to how the fight scene would sit in everyone's stomach but apparently rather well! And yes…my cliff hanger…you gotta have 'em right? =) Alright guys, even delaying…let's get it goin'!**

* * *

"_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine. And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you. Goodbye my lover._"- James Blunt, _Goodbye My Lover_

"_Hope dangles on a string. Like slow spinning redemption, winding in, winding out. The shine of it has caught my eye. And roped me so mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing, I am captivated. I am motivated. I am vindicated." – _Dashboard Confessional_, Vindicated_

_***********_

Rain? Seriously? Did nature even think it was a cry worthy event? Perhaps the angels were crying over the actions taking place on this abandoned continent. Either way, it was cold. With each drop it felt like the air was being sucked straight from your lungs in an effort to make you weaker, more susceptible to defeat. But she would not have it. No, she needed to free Squall of this nightmare. She would not let him succumb to this woman. Not as long as she still had life in her body. She would save him. He spent all of his recent years saving her…it was about time she repaid him the favor.

Her lungs were beginning to burn, her legs as well. If she kept running like this, she would run out of land and end up on the edge of the continent, staring at an overwhelming mass of ocean. She needed to think of a plan. Quickly.

Although Ultimecia wasn't exactly chasing her, it was more than evident that her pursuer knew that she was simply buying time, and didn't seem to find that motive all that threatening.

The predator was more than confident that the girl in blue would fall by her lover's hands soon. It was only a mere matter of time. And time was Ultimecia's ally, as she had proved time and time again. But how to thwart someone such as Ultimecia? Especially alone? And what of her friends? Were they dying out in the vast land, rain cascading down their battered backs? Or were they already dead? They needed her! Now! And Squall…who knew how much damage this possession would scar him with. Would he remember everything? Or simply have a lapse in memory from when he became possessed to the point where the sorceress was removed the bonds of his body? Would he even still be able to communicate? Will her possession have ruined his ability to communicate, rendering him silent and stoic, constantly glancing out the window with a feeling of abandonment written over his worry worn face?

Shaking her head angrily, her thoughts barring her from coming up with a battle plan. She couldn't let her mind wander, not now. So many things were counting on her. She always complained that the others seemed to always work without her abilities thrown into the mix. Now that she had her wish, she realized just how naïve she had been. How naïve she had always been. Here she had been thinking that Squall, although she was in love with him a great deal, to be quite the buzz kill in certain situations. He had admitted at one point, with no one around to hear except for her, that he hated having to ruin the mood but that such relaxation would result in lack combat skills if they were suddenly attacked.

The rain began to pound harder onto her retreating form. Surely the aerial watchers were watching. Why weren't they making to retrieve her? Would Seifer seriously let all of them become butchered and then decide to swoop in and attack the foul sorceress?

'_No…he has a certain routine he must follow as well. He is not to interfere with the special ops team unless radioed to do so. So he has to wait…he's just following orders. Seifer's not all that bad…er…sometimes_.'

Lightning crackled in the sky, giving the grayed continent an eerie glow. If this wasn't the ideal set up to destroy the top elite SeeD unit and the SeeD High Commander, then she didn't know what was. The setting screamed of evil and despair.

"How long do you intend to keep running?" It was more of Ultimecia's voice. Squall's tone had taken to the undercurrent of the sorceress' screeching soprano.

When had he drawn so close? With a quick glimpse over her shoulder, she caught sight of his location. He was only a mere fifty feet away from her now. When had this happened? Had she noticed Rinoa's lack of concentration and used the mask of the storm to close the distance? As much as she should have been afraid, she was simply angered by that realization. The sorceress was capitalizing on the man she loved. Without his inane fighting ability and strategic prowess, Ultimecia would be stuck in a solitary position, throwing bouts of powerful spells her direction. Again she was abusing her host. Again Squall was being overpowered. And it tore right through her.

What compelled her to turn around, she wasn't sure. Either way, she stopped mid-run, and slowly turned to face her foe, "You aren't welcome here, Ultimecia."

Her pursuer stopped, flicking his long strands of rain soaked hair from his face. They glued back to the sides of his temples, leaving his ice blue and crimson red eyes open for her sight to take in.

"I would like to politely disagree, dear girl. The heavens sing my return. The winds have whispered their glee."

Rinoa glared at her, her entire body beginning to shake with the obstacle standing before her. With this pivotal moment, it became clear, that one of them…Squall or her, was going to die.

"They have whispered nothing but their fear. You are evil and the world will not welcome a witch such as you to be their leader. The heavens sing their despair. Only hell sings of your return."

This earned a slight uplifting of one of Squall's eyebrows, "Is that so? Are claiming that I come from the abyss of fire? The same haven that Ifrit resides in? Are you calling me a _demon_, Rinoa?"

She swallowed. The word demon had been emphasized in a way that left her spine tingling and her body clammy, "Yes. So go back to hell where you came from! And leave Squall here. You seriously must possess him in order to accomplish your rule? Without him you would fall-"

Ultimecia chuckled, grabbing at Squall's head as she laughed, "Please…you are simply mocking me now. That is most rude, Sorceress Rinoa. I could rise to power without his body. But where would the fun in that be? A familiar face slaying friends and family? It's perfect! He can be my knight. A knight that shares the body with his sorceress, never before has there been such a close bond."

Rinoa grit her teeth together, her hands fisting in her raw anger, "You will not have him!"

"Sure…your bond with the man was deep. Who can deny the force of true love? But to share one body? Ahh, that surely takes the golden medal, does it not?"

Typically she would have been able to ignore the typical taunting of an enemy. But Squall was off limits. That territory belonged to her and her alone.

"If you won't give him up, I'll take him from you!" Rinoa warned her, raising her fist in front of her face, a warm wind washing around her as she began to whisper an incantation.

"Ah ah ah, surely you don't plan to use magic against me, dear? You are being rather foolish! Prepare yourself; I will not hold back his true power as I did with the others. You are the one that will be the crucial piece in this wretched man's demise."

Rinoa's eyes widened as the lightning flashed off of Squall's weapon's blade. It was blinding.

************

Laguna shifted uneasily in the transport car. Surely his eyes had deceived him. His son would not massacre his friends and turn on SeeD. Turn on the world. Turn on him. Never…

As he disembarked from the vessel and nodded his farewell to the pilot, his eyes stared in disbelief at the carnage that had been left behind. Four bodies were scattered about the land, smoke rising from one of the fallen combatants.

It brought a sour look to his face and sinking feeling to his stomach. Their pain and possible deaths had been the result of his son's attacks. Of his son's evil plot.

The president held back the need to fall to the ground and weep over such a travesty. He was mistaken. Something had to have gone wrong. Squall would never hurt his allies. No, not just his allies, his friends. Those he held near and dear.

Checking his inventory for the needed spells and tonics, Laguna ran up to the body closest to him. Upon closing the distance, he found it to be Selphie.

Holding back a gag when his eyes spotted a trail of blood that led down to where her head rested against the stone, he bent before her, "Selphie?"

No response.

He watched her patiently, for any rise and fall of her chest.

The thunder clapped and the rain drenched his form as he patiently waited.

There!

Her chest rose and fell slowly; breathing indicating that she was indeed still alive and able to receive healing.

He wasted no time. Hopefully, if he worked quickly enough, he would be able to heal them and find Squall and Rinoa.

Laguna growled in frustration as he realized that Rinoa was fighting one on one with Squall. He didn't have time to waste attempting to heal them. And the infirmary would have stronger spells and medicines to cure these wounded soldiers. No…he would call the aerial watchers and have them take these injured heroes back to Balamb Garden so that they may be treated and that their lives may hopefully be saved.

Yes…he needed to get to Rinoa. Quickly.

************

She cried out as she rolled out of the way of an attack. She didn't know why she cried out like that, but she did. Was it fear? Or was it the knowledge that with that attack, he had attempted to murder her?

Jumping backwards to gain a little distance, she braced her free arm against her left forearm, releasing her pinwheel.

Squall smirked with her attempt to cause him the same physical damage that he had attempted to just instill upon her small frame.

With a lazy wave of his weapon, he deflected her attack, "So what are you to do now, sorceress? Your physical attacks are pathetic and your spells are weak in comparison to my own. Why not just let me finish you off? I will not make you suffer for too fairly long. Just enough to squirm before his eyes and that will be it."

Rinoa shook her head in denial, rain rolling off of her blushed cheeks, "No! You think he'll actually kill me? If you had complete control of Squall he wouldn't have missed. Squall rarely misses a target, especially not one that isn't nearly as quick as he is. He fought you! That's why you missed. That's why I remain unscathed."

Ultimecia glared at her, emitting a low growl, "You annoy me, girl."

There was her proof. Her enemy hadn't denied her accusation. And she knew enough of Squall's deadly technique to know that the skilled High Commander did not miss a target. Especially not a target that moved slow under its emotional distress. He was fighting her from the inside-out.

"Squall, can you hear me?"

Her opponent tightened her grip around her lover's weapon, "You are delusional, Sorceress Rinoa."

Again she began to form a shield around her body, preparing to spare her body an intense physical attack. This only caused the High Commander's face to contort into a ruthless sneer, blue and red eyes gleaming with a malicious intent, "You dare try to spare your life? You are simply wasting your time in casting a spell that will protect you from my wrath as much as a layer of plastic wrap would."

Rinoa swallowed fervently, finishing the incantation, sighing as the protect spell covered her body.

"Squall, please! Don't do this!"

Her opponent flipped his head to the side, brown locks freeing themselves from his eyes. And his shoulders rose and fell as if he were trying to suppress a cough or a sneeze. Was she getting through?

As soon as the movement had appeared, it vanished, leaving the possessed man fully functional before her.

"You're becoming a nuisance. Stop trying to reach him. He's in a place where you can't follow, you stupid girl."

If that were true, then why was she getting so upset at her so called 'futile' attempts to reach him? If that were so, why had Squall flinched? It was working…somewhere, somehow…it was working.

With an indignant expression on her face, and her eyes challenging those of her enemy, Rinoa raised her chin and began another incantation.

Ultimecia let out a low hiss of anger, "You little wretch! How dare you disobey!"

His gloves squeaked under the amount of pressure he was using to grip his weapon. It was more than evident that with this strike, she aimed to kill her. And not just kill her, dismember her.

Rinoa's eyes rounded as she finished her reflect spell and glanced around quickly. There was no where to escape to. With a cry of frustration, she ran towards a boulder. If anything she could use it for added protection.

This time, as she ran, heavy, quick, determined footsteps followed her own.

************

"He has not radioed for your interference, sir."

Seifer cursed under his breath, pacing back and forth on the bridge of the Garden, "This is absolutely ridiculous. He made me the stand in commander because of my battle expertise. Sometimes you must go against orders to be successful in combat-"

"But sir-"

"You will not speak again unless spoken to, understand cadet?"

The aerial watcher grit his teeth together and gave the blond warrior a curt nod before waiting his orders.

"What do you expect me to do? With reports of Laguna's arrival onto the continent and Squall's attempt at killing Rinoa Heartilly, what else am I to do except send other troops down to assist?"

Suddenly the door to the bridge opened and Kawadoki ran through, holding onto her thick sides as she gasped for air, "Sir…" She gasped, quickly saluting him before continuing, "A transport has just docked with the Garden. I suggest you come and take a look at what came back with it."

Seifer glanced at his aerial watcher before nodding, "Report back in half an hour. If things have not changed then, I will send more troops. Do you understand?"

The cadet, victory clearly pressed over his face, grinned, disconnecting the transmission.

Seifer turned back to the doctor, young features dressed with concern, "This had better be worthwhile, Kawadoki."

The older woman nodded, "Indeed. I would say that the injured members of the special ops force is a worthwhile cause, would you not?"

His eyes rounded in disbelief, "Laguna got their bodies onto the transport?"

She grinned, motioning for him to follow her.

Typically he tried to suppress any noticeable display that he was genuinely concerned for something, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He was more than thrilled that the others were ok. Even if they weren't friends, they were familiar to him, and he didn't want that familiarity to leave. Ever.

************

She had stumbled! After all of Squall's training and words of advice during combat, she had failed to take notice of her surroundings enough to notice the large, dry rotted root that was obscuring her path towards her selected heap of rock.

Her boot hooked underneath the hook-shaped root, sending her forward in an awkward position. While her footsteps became non-existent, heavy, murderous stomps followed after her. He was closing the distance, at an alarming rate.

Luckily she was close enough to the boulder that she was able to catch her upper body against its surface, letting her lower body play catch up with her now safe torso. Just as she was about to gather her footing, something grabbed her.

Rinoa howled in pain as a heavy hand grabbed a fistful of her hair, and slammed her cheek hard into the stone surface.

She didn't need to see who it was. She knew. It was only a matter of time before he had been able to get his hands on her. Honestly, she had been lucky to get this far. What had she really planned on doing anyways? Talking Ultimecia out of him? Surely she had known that was a completely ridiculous notion that would never work.

Lightning cracked as he pressed her rough into the stone, his breathing reverberating off of her outer ear. If it had been any other instance, such a gesture would have ripped right through to her lust. This was the sound of a predator breathing its warning over its prey. 'Move and die.'

"All this running…you are truly a foolish girl, aren't you?"

The former sorceress was terrified. Death had a hold of her hair and was holding her captive against a rock that had been intended to be her safe haven. It was now the device used for her demise.

"No…Squall, please-"

His chest rumbled as a menacing growl slipped from his throat. Releasing her hair, he grabbed her by the shoulders, and spun her around, quickly placing his hands on her upper arms and pinning her against the rock. Rinoa held back the urge to scream for help. Who would hear her? There were no other ears to hear her pleas for life. This was it. He finally had a hold of her. The sorceress had won.

"Not even going to fight back, hrmm?"

Rinoa peered up at him through rain soaked lashes, her warm eyes shimmering with her fear and her own self-loathing. She had failed him. After everything he had ever sacrificed for her, including his own body, had been in vain. She hadn't been able to set him free. She hadn't been able to carry out his wish. More lives would be lost because of her doing.

She shook her head angrily, a whimper creeping from her chest, slipping past her lips to whisper into the storm filled air, "No…no, no, no. Squall-"

The hand that held her left arm shifted, the gunblade, still securely held within his grasp, brushed against her leg. The cool metal teased her with its blade. Angrily his head shook. His eyes closed. Another growl fell from his mouth.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! He can't hear you!"

Rinoa's breathing increased. Their close proximity seemed to be working in her favor.

"Squall, listen to me. You don't want to kill me. I know you don't. Don't let her do this…she's trying to destroy you from the inside out. Please…Squall, hear me."

For the first time in her entire life, she heard him whimper. Not only did he whimper, but he shook. Quickly his eyelids shot open, his icy eyes finding hers. The blood red was beginning to fade, blue attempting to overpower the evil that held them captive.

It was then that she noticed he was focusing on her mouth, trying to make out anything she may say or whisper. Anything to grasp on to. Anything to free him from this captivity.

"Fight her. You can do it. You can do anything. You're Squall Leonhart. Everyone is counting on you…please…come to me."

The red was beginning to circle around his irises again, his fumbling grip beginning to tighten again.

Rinoa shook her head quickly, moving her face so that he could reestablish a visual connection with her wet mouth, "You don't want to kill me. You don't want to kill anyone. You're a good person. Do you hear me? You're a good person. You can do this, Squall. I believe in you. I've always believed in you…always," She whispered, her eyes beginning to burn with the weight of her words. Words he needed to hear, even if they were in vain, "I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm sorry I let you fall…Squall-"

His left hand tightened on the gunblade, spinning it around so that the blade was ready to strike from any angle. The raindrops were sent spiraling from the blade, hitting Rinoa in the face.

"Please don't…" She continued, her lips trembling as tears joined with the rain on her cheeks, "This isn't you…it's her. She wants to destroy everything you love. Everything I love…everything. Squall…find me. Follow my voice…hear me. Listen to me…"

He hesitated. She capitalized, whispering words that would break through, if any of the words would.

"You aren't alone. I love you."

"YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH! YOU ARE FINISHED!"

Rinoa's eyes rounded as the red reestablished the dominance around the beautiful blue eyes that she had fallen in love with. He raised the weapon, death his goal.

Her eyes fell shut as she pushed against him with all of her strength, disrupting his attack stance. She fell to the side, but his weapon followed her easily.

The ground met her side roughly. There was a loud sound and the clanging of metal. That was it…he had delivered his final blow.

She felt her side, her body needing to valid the spilling of blood from her torso.

All she could feel was the cool, damp moisture of rain soaking up her clothing. He'd missed?

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and she pushed herself up. Why wasn't he finishing her off? What was going on? Was Ultimecia seriously going to make her stare at him while he killed her? She was to watch her death through the reflections of his eyes?

He was standing before her, eyes wide and emotionless. His gunblade fell from his limp fingertips. Something had happened.

"S-S-Squall?"

His knees began to shake. She looked up at him and noticed red soaking through his wife beater. Her eyes rounded as his knees buckled and he fell to the ground face first, a hand reaching for her, not out of anger or devilish intent, but out of need. Out of a motion of helplessness.

"Rinoa…"

The muddied earth soaked up the sound of his limp body connecting with its surface.

She hadn't retaliated in any way. What had happened? What had been that noise?

Quickly she looked around. If there was another enemy around she needed to prepare herself.

It was barren except for one loan figure. Long tresses of raven black hair swirled around his head, his gun still smoking from its discharge.

Rinoa let out a cry of surprise and anguish.

"Laguna!"

* * *

**So how was that guys? =) I really liked this one. Lots of excitement and a sad twist. Lemme know whatcha think. I think there's a chapter or two left so I hope you all have liked it up to this point. I'll update within a few days.**

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	30. The Lips of the Angel

**Disclaimer: Characters and location are not mine. Plot, however, is.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, sexual content, and drug references.**

**Author's Note: Squinoa = love.**

* * *

"_I can tell by your tears that you will remember it all."-_Unknown

_"Come back down. Save yourself. I can't find my way to you. And I can't bear to face the truth. I can't face the dark without you._"- Breaking Benjamin, _Without You_

_********_

_His knees began to shake. She looked up at him and noticed red soaking through his wife beater. Her eyes rounded as his knees buckled under his weight and he fell to the ground face first, a hand reaching for her, not out of anger or devilish intent, but out of need. Out of a motion of helplessness._

"_Rinoa…"_

The lightning crackled. The wind howled. The rain stung. The air was heavy. It was completely insufferable. A shrill cry filled the tempest air, piercing the ears of Rinoa and Laguna.

The two gripped at their ears, trying in vain to lessen the loudness of the shriek, both cringing at the pain it induced.

A red vapor ascended into the sky, dissolving instantly upon the rain hitting its bodiless presence. Again another shrill sound filled the atmosphere and then with a flicker of light, the vapor disappeared and the only noises left to hear were those of the storm and uneven breathing from Rinoa.

It was over. As silent as it had begun, it ended. For good.

* * *

It was disheartening. Even he had to admit it. The entire infirmary was filled with their motionless and war touched bodies. Doctor Kawadoki was completely overwhelmed and kept requesting that he ask for aid from other Gardens. She was right, of course. She was too understaffed to deal with four patients under such a critical status. They needed help and they needed it now. If they didn't do something fast, they would lose them. If they hadn't already.

So as quick as his feet could carry him, Seifer returned to the main command post, punching in a few numbers to unlock the com center, and spoke over an open channel to every surrounding Garden, requesting for aid. Requesting for doctors and medical personnel. But the lack of help was overwhelming.

Too many other Gardens had been attacked by the Magic Military during the conflict between Ultimecia and the special ops team. There were many lives that were hanging by a thread and there was nothing anyone could do to make a dent in their progress. Each Garden was on its own.

This was an unforeseen problem. No Gardens had reported their attacks to him like they had been ordered to do. So the news of their wounded came as a great surprise. And the aerial watchers hadn't reported in nearly an hour. What was going on down there? Had Ultimecia been defeated? Or had victory been hers? And what of Laguna? Just where the hell was the random moron anyways?!

Cursing aloud to himself, he turned around and headed for the infirmary again. If he couldn't receive aid, he would give it. He knew enough of medical arts to be of some assistance to the overwhelmed doctor. Just how much he could actually do, was still a mystery. But, with a sudden change of demeanor, Seifer knew that he needed to do all he could to help them out. They had sacrificed their bodies for the world; the least he could do was sacrifice a few hours in an attempt to save their lives as well.

* * *

Laguna ran as quickly as his muddied feet would carry him across the hardened dirt surface turned devouring continent of mud and debris. The figures of Squall and Rinoa drew closer. But his mind was miles and miles away.

He had followed the shouting and random cries of pain to stumble upon the two engaged in a sick game of tag, Rinoa the obvious target. With all the discipline he could muster, he remained quiet and undetected, waiting for the perfect time to strike. Giving away his position would have caused more bad than good.

And then the opportune time had come and he took advantage, shooting his son from behind with three well placed bullets straight through his midsection. He had wanted to simply wound his son but upon seeing the mangled bodies of his comrades and the screaming form of Rinoa, terror held within her large eyes, he knew that simply wounding his son would not suffice. Squall was a true mercenary and would stop at nothing until his mission was completed. With Rinoa as the target, he couldn't bare for his son to take her life. So he acted, his trigger finger shaking as he pressed the lever in, closing his eyes as the machine immediately choked to life, spitting out a bullet.

He would have stopped there, if he could have. He couldn't risk Squall turning on him. He needed to end it. Whether or not it killed him. So his finger released the trigger and pressed it in again. Slowly he opened his eyes. Squall was still towering over top of Rinoa, malice his intent. So one final time he squeezed the lever and one final bullet left his gun, piercing through his son's flesh with a sickening crunch and splattering effect.

It all happened in a mere matter of a second or so. Rinoa had been cowering under Squall's grasp, her eyes sealed shut at the horror that awaited her. And so as she opened her eyes and the High Commander fell forward, she seemed extremely lost. And surprised.

With her hair licking at her face, she began to scan the landscape for what had caused the warrior to fall without her so much as raising a finger against his attack.

"Laguna!"

At first he didn't respond, he just stood staring, watching his son's body sink into the muddied surface, his blood staining the planet beneath him.

Again she cried. She was relieved to see him. She was relieved to have survived to breathe another breath. She was…

As he drew closer, kneeling before her, brushing her hair from her soaked face, he took notice of another liquid that fell with the rain. Teardrops, trying to mask themselves with the cover of the storm. She was crying.

Like an infant she clung to him, burying her face in his chest, whispering about being afraid and that he didn't understand. Who didn't understand?

"Rinoa, it's alright. I'm here. Slow down."

It wasn't alright, in fact. He had just taken his own son's life! With the hands that had held Raine in his arms and the hands that had made love to her, the hands that had clasped his son's shoulders so many times it was difficult to number, the hands that had sworn to protect those he loved…those hands…had murdered his son. Nothing about this was alright. Nothing at all.

"I thought that I was-" She gasped for air, "He didn't want to kill me. He was fighting it-"

Laguna's brow furrowed together as he tried to make sense of everything she was saying, "Rinoa…what made him…why did he turn on his unit?"

She shook her head frantically, hiccupping as she continued to fist her small hands into his shirt, "No…he didn't, he-" Again she was cut short as she sobbed into his chest again, her small frame shaking with heavy weeping.

"Shh," He cooed, trying his best to remain the steadfast one in the situation. Shock still pounded through his system. The reality of what he had done had yet to sink in and torture his mind set.

"Please Laguna…" She tried again, writing herself free of his grasp, crawling over to Squall's unmoving body.

Laguna stared in astonishment. The man that had just tried to kill her, she was trying to go to him, trying to check on him, to see if he was, in fact, dead.

"Rinoa, stay away. He might still be-"

"You don't understand, Laguna!" She shrieked, ripping her captive foot free from the mud as she continued her awkward crawl towards her lover's body.

What didn't he understand? Why did she keep rambling on about that?

So he followed her, falling into a kneeling position beside her as she attempted to roll him over.

She was too weak. So he aided her, giving her the count of three and then with a solid push from both of them, they had Squall rolled onto his back.

Rinoa's hand immediately clasped around the president's as they took him in.

His face was nearly completely indistinguishable as mud and blood covered his features. His once snow white wife beater was now permanently stained the color of crimson, two holes ripped through the front of his shirt. Two bullets had made it through their target; one remained trapped within his insides.

The former sorceress opened her mouth but couldn't form a word as she reached out and touched the singed fabric of his shirt, "You shot him."

Laguna swallowed at the large lump that was beginning to form in his throat, the weight of everything beginning to surface inside his heart.

"How many times?" She asked him softly, her voice catching.

"Three."

"There are only two holes."

Laguna nodded solemnly, "Two resurfaced, one apparently remains trapped."

Again she was shaking her head as if denying the actions would cause them to go away, "He didn't want to kill me."

Squall's father watched as she pulled him into her lap, brushing his water logged hair from his face, trying in vain to wipe the mud from his features, "Squall-"

His eyes were open. His eyelashes were weighed down with the mud that had been the resting place for his face as he came to falling stop. The ice blue orbs stared up unseeing, no traces of red remained around their edges. This was Squall. He was free. She had won in the end…even if she hadn't acquired the world as her puppet, but the person she had set out to destroy, from the inside out, had fallen. Just as she had planned. Her revenge had been fulfilled.

"No, Squall…listen to me, please!"

Laguna touched her shoulder, "Rinoa, he's…"

She shrugged him off angrily, "No! No he's not. He can't. You don't understand. He wasn't trying to kill me. He wasn't trying to kill anyone. He was possessed. He was possessed the entire time! During his fight with Alec Ultimecia switched bodies and took Squall's. He wasn't the one doing it. It was her. It was all her. And he was trying so hard to fight her…he would hesitate when she would attempt to strike us down. He would fight from the inside out but she would over power him….he didn't do this. She wanted to make him suffer. She wanted to kill his friends by his hands. She…she did this. Not him…he shouldn't be punished like this. It isn't fair!"

Had he acknowledged that he had heard her? Or had he sat there like a stupid animal? He had…shot his son. His son who had been possessed. His son who had not been in control of his own actions. His son who had gone to fight for the freedom of this world with his own life.

His body began to shake. His eyes began to cloud over with misty tears; his throat burning as he finally realized the severity of it all. But what could have been done differently? Should he had just stood idly by and let Squall kill the woman he loved and then turn on the rest of Garden and bring about the fall of the world to suit the rule of Ultimecia? What should he have done?

"Squall," Rinoa tried again, pressing her forehead against his, "Squall…can you hear me?"

Laguna jumped to his feet and grabbed his radio, "This is President Laguna Loire to any and all nearby Garden aerial watching craft. Respond."

"This is Aerial Watcher 393, go ahead."

"Come to the continent. And prepare to be boarded. The High Commander has been mortally wounded and must receive treatment immediately."

"Has the battlefield been cleared, sir?"

"YES NOW JUST DO IT DAMMIT!"

"Y-y-yes s-sir!"

* * *

He could hear her. Only vaguely. But he knew she was calling out to him. He wanted to answer her, but he couldn't. He couldn't even move. All he could do was stare at the breaking view of the woman he loved holding him in her arms, weeping over his destroyed form.

The blood rushed to his ears, pounding with a ferocity that he had never experienced. All he could hear was the pounding of his heart beat and the cries of Rinoa. But she was growing more distant with each thump of his heart. With each breath taken the distance between his consciousness and death was blurring.

He knew his eyes were open, he could feel the wind brushing against his orbs, but he couldn't see. Not with the clarity that he wished for. Clear images were fleeting, and rare. If he managed to get a clear view of Rinoa, it was only for a millisecond and it would disappear, instead to be replaced with thousands of white dots and a black world that was edging its way closer to consuming him.

It had been excruciating to watch as he, the one they trusted, cut them down. One by one they fell by his hands. And even though he screamed, nothing came out. Even though he begged for forgiveness, his apologies remained unsaid and words of evil and darkness fell from his lips. He had no control of what was coming from his mouth. His body no longer had been his. He had been a slave to do her sick bidding.

Everything he had done, he felt it. Every strike of his gunblade or every spell that had been cast, he still felt it in his fingertips, streaming all the way to his soul, breaking his spirit.

His friends, the looks they had on their faces…they had been afraid. They had been afraid of him. Their lives could possibly be in jeopardy and all because he hadn't had the strength to fight her. Physically and spiritually, he had failed.

And then she had attempted to end Rinoa's life with his weapon. She had attempted to make him steal the woman that he loved, the woman that he adored; she had attempted to steal away her life force by his hands…

The idea that Rinoa would never smile again let alone take another breath was enough to make anyone go insane. Rinoa was the definition of life and love. The world would not be the same without her in it. That he knew for certain.

At first he wasn't sure what had happened. All he really remembered was the sound of loud banging and then a sharp and indescribable pain shooting through his midsection. And even though he hadn't been able to stop it, he fell to the ground, landing face first into a coffin of mud.

The heavy force that had taken his body burned as it quickly disbursed from his confines and into the tumultuous air, a loud shriek piercing his ears, telling him that he was free. Telling him that she was gone. Telling him that, even if he didn't live to see tomorrow, that Rinoa would and that his mission was complete. A better tomorrow was promised to the woman he loved. That was all he ever wanted.

"_Squall-"_

She was trying again. Didn't she know when to give up? If he could smile, he would have. She was always so optimistic…one of the many things about her that he loved.

He couldn't help but feel a little twinge of regret as he thought of the way she had clung to him before he had departed. Or the night they had shared only just the night before. The way she had woke from a troubled sleep to scream his name and cling to his shoulders for dear life, afraid that he would disappear right from under her touch.

It was as if she had known…as if she had realized his fate before he even knew it.

Why he was so surprised by this outcome, he still wasn't sure. He had accepted his fate the moment the door to the transport shut and sealed him off from Garden and his friends. From his normal, every day life. From her.

But still…he had kept hope. Hope that he would in fact make it through his battle. Hope that he would make it back to the Garden to the world that he knew and adored. Back to her. Back to her always open arms.

But now…hope was fading. The world was turning black. The sounds of the planet were becoming muffled. All that was left to enjoy was his uneven breathing, the heavy pounding inside his ears, and a set of warm arms clinging to his chilled form for dear life.

He wanted to see her…one last time. If only his vision would steady…he could steal one last glance…one last look at the face of the angel that had graced him with her presence. The angel that had blessed him with her love.

"_Squall-"_

She never knew when to quit…did she?

…

Another reason he loved her.

* * *

Rinoa hugged him closer, her warm eyes holding steady with his blue ones, the light inside his windows slowly beginning to dull.

"No! Squall, listen to me…please…focus on me. Focus on something…anything. If you focus…you'll be able to hold on."

Laguna cursed angrily as he waited for the support to respond. It shouldn't take fifteen minutes to respond to an emergency radio, especially with life hanging on a thread. He would not be able to live with himself if his son slipped away into nothingness. He would not be able to live with the fact that his weapon had ended such a promising life. Not just a promising life, but the life that he had created. The life he loved and wished to experience more with.

Gritting his teeth together, he went to kneel beside his son again, watching with worried eyes as the fight slowly seeped from his son and joined his blood in the mud.

'_Please hear her…please_.'

* * *

If he couldn't see…if he couldn't really hear…if he couldn't completely feel, what was he supposed to focus on? Her sentences would come to him but they were distorted and loud, making him inwardly cringe. And his vision would fade in and out so much that keeping a constant visual was close to impossible…but-

"_Squall…focus on something. Please."_

He loved the way her mouth moved. The way her lips formed as they pronounced his name, falling from their surface like a drug, completely intoxicating him. They were always so red and moist, and a set of white teeth always shone from underneath the crimson pieces of skin.

He wanted to see them…those were what he wanted to focus on…if he completely used all of his concentration, he could make his vision clear. He could see her. Her mouth. Those lips that held the entire world within their depths. The ability to save a life or create one. The ability to make him smile or make him scoff.

They could utter words of anger or those of passion. With the simple mention of his name she could convey lust or disappointment. Just with the way she said his name. What power she held. She was truly an all powerful being, holding all of his world on a string and careful not to let it break with the strong gusts of the world's problems. Always she held him, safely, attached to her. Attached to her life and her love. Attached to those lips.

They were curving into a slight smile, those pieces of white poking from behind the red curtain they typically hid beneath.

"_Squall…you can't leave me."_

He didn't want to. He didn't want to be without her warmth. Without her light. Without her. She was everything to him. He didn't want to leave her alone, nor did he want to be alone. He was…

"_I need you."_

He was afraid.

For the first time in his life, and possibly the last time, he finally understood…he needed her too. Without her, he was nothing.

"_You promised me_…" She whispered, kissing his forehead.

'"_Even if you end up as the world's enemy, I'll be your knight. I'll protect you_."'

It was true…he had promised her. By taking that oath, he had sworn his allegiance to her. By taking that oath, he had promised to stay by her side until death separated them. But how could he protect her if he was taken now? She was still so young. Life still had yet to begin for her. Was she supposed to go about the world alone…susceptible to hurt and pain?

"_You…you told me you love me-"_

How could he have forgotten that? He had told her right before he had disembarked for this suicide mission. He had finally whispered the three words she had always wanted to hear.

"_I want to hear you say it again_."

If this life was going to end, he at least owed her that much.

* * *

"I want to hear you say it again…please Squall. You can't leave me alone…"

Dark eyes fought against blue ones, demanding that he make any sign that he was hearing her, that he understood.

"The transport is here!" Laguna exclaimed, running back towards his fallen son and his lover.

Rinoa tilted her head to the side; nuzzling Squall's cheek before pulling away only enough so that she could look at him again, "Please…don't leave."

Lightning flashed, the light bouncing off of his orbs. And there, the fading glimmer of life that had been slowly slipping away resurfaced, flickering as his eyelids fluttered shut and then opened again.

"Squall?!"

His eyes rolled down to look at her mouth again, his eyelids slowly beginning to sink shut as the weight of his movement finally caught up with him.

"Rinoa…" He spluttered, the red liquid that had been growing inside his mouth exiting from the sides of his lips, dripping down off of his chin.

She quickly wiped away the thick liquid, her tears beginning to fall more freely upon finally breaking through to him. Upon finally hearing his voice.

"Squall…help is here. We're taking you back to Garden. Everything is going to be alright. Like you always say to me…just stay strong, right? Have faith. I'm here. I haven't left your side."

"Rinoa…" He tried again, his fingers stretching for her to grab a hold of his hand. She did just that, her heart fluttering inside her chest.

"I'm here."

"We need to move him now!" Laguna told her as he and the aerial watcher grabbed his feet and shoulders, lifting him from the ground and towards the transport.

His fingers were still outstretched to her as they carried him. She struggled to get to her feet, hope burning through her like a drug.

"They're going to take you to Garden, Squall. Everything is going to be alright."

As the two pushed him into the transport and shut the door, his head lulled to the side, blue eyes finding dark brown ones.

…

"I'm sorry."

Rinoa stared in horror as the door latched shut, "SQUALL?!"

* * *

**Alright so one chapter left after this. I just couldn't end it with this chapter. =P I hope you all don't kill me. I know it's later but I'm trying to make sure I tie this up right. I want this to end jusssssssssssst riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. ; ) **

**Much love,**

**~Nikki~**


	31. You Save Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

**Rating: M for language, violence, sexual content, and drug references.**

**Author's Note: I must sincerely apologize for the delay. I never take this long to update. I, however, do have an excuse. My computer was seriously infected with viruses and spy ware for the last 3 weeks. I just gave up on it and instead of fixing the computer, I just bought a brand new one. A waste, I know. Lol. But I'm up and running again. Please forgive my lateness. My internet browser wouldn't even open while it was infected. FML. So this is the final chapter to this fan fiction. It's been quite the journey. I've really enjoyed the ride, as I hope you all have as well. Hopefully I will get to hear from you all again in later fan fictions I may write. Have a great holiday season, stay safe, and keep your imaginations goin'. =)**

* * *

**"_I'm glad you're here with me, at the end of all things."- _Frodo Baggins to Samwise Gamgee_, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King_**

_***********_

The ride back to the Garden was longer than it had been on the way down to the Centra Region. The sounds of Squall's labored breathing and lack of communication between those on board the aircraft was enough to make even the most composed individual sweat under the pressure.

"Only a little longer," The aerial watcher would continually remind Laguna and Rinoa, knowing all too well that their worried expressions told of their mental states. They needed to get to the Garden as soon as possible. But what then? Who was to say that they would be able to do anything once they got there?

"I'm sure the doctor can treat bullet wounds like she can the scrape of the knee…right?" Laguna asked softly, more of a rhetorical question than an actual need to have it answered. Of course she could treat bullet wounds. Anyone could treat a bullet wound. It was just whether or not the victim had been reached in time. Time was their enemy now, and there was no ability to win against such a formidable foe. You either triumphed because time let you win, or you failed. Simple as that.

Rinoa shifted in her seat uneasily, continuously glancing in the cargo bay, watching Squall's limp body slide from the turbulence of the aircraft, his face draining of any and all color except for the purple forming on his mouth. The blood that had fallen from his lips upong speaking with her only minutes before had begun to cake onto his face and melted to his features as a temporary part of his identity.

"Balamb Garden in sight."

Laguna and Rinoa jerked their heads upwards, their eyes falling upon the familiar structure of Balamb's Garden. Home.

* * *

Kawadoki was rather surprised at Seifer's volunteer effort. He was actually rather helpful. Where he had learned to treat the wounded in such a fashion she was unsure of, nor did it matter. He was actually helping her make a dent in her work. And word had arrived nearly ten minutes before that medical staff from Trabia Garden and Esthar would arrive to help them as well. They were finally able to see the light that was luminously glowing at the end of the proverbial tunnel. This could turn out alright.

"They should be here any moment," Kawadoki informed Seifer, who was busy tending to Quistis.

He gave her a firm nod but said nothing, his brow creased in concentration. While serving as a knight under Edea for longer than he cared to admit, he had become familiar with powerful spells and the remedies necessary for their removal. Selphie had been the easiest to tend to. The saucy woman had suffer the lesser of the wounds inflicted upon the SeeDs. She had received a nasty concussion and a broken leg. Once they had been quite certain that she would not have any more problems from that nasty head trauma, they sent her to the library on a stretcher to recuperate, the library staff to keep a steady eye on her while she was being stationed there.

That left Irvine, Zell, and Quistis.

'_What about Rinoa_?' His only soft sport. The fighter with black hair that had managed to capture his heart and never release it. Not that she had intended to render him completely and emotionally helpless, but she had. The moment he had taken her into his sights, he had lost.

And even when he had succumbed to the will of Sorceress Edea and Adel and used Rinoa as a sacrifice, he had still loved her then. Stupidity was his only excuse. His pathetic and lonely excuse.

He had been weak. He was always weak. It was more than obvious now. That's what he hated about Squall.

The stupid emo was always strong enough to follow the right and just path. He was always sure of himself enough that as he fell in love with Rinoa, he would not let any harm befall her. He was courageous enough to fight the whole world as Sorceress Rinoa's knight. He was the epitome of a hero that refused to have the limelight shining on his actions. He would rather sulk in the corner and let someone else…anyone else take credit for what he ad done.

When had men's egos become so humble? Even when they had been young Seifer had known Squall to be a different breed of man. Perhaps that's why he had targeted the quiet and emotionally deprived young boy. The young Squall's vibe had been much the same as it was now. Sure, determined, unrequited, loyal, and trustworthy. And now he had the blessing of love to go along with those award-winning morals he lived by. It was sickening but only because he couldn't follow them…he couldn't follow Squall's footsteps eve if he wasn't' insulted by the general idea. There were different types of people in the world and unfortunately, the hero role was not Seifer's. It never was, and it never would be…not to Squall's legendary extent anyways.

This moment, however, belonged to him. He would help save the lives of some of the most honored SeeDs in the history of the world. People would remember him for it. He would be thanked and held in high respect for his time and devotion dedicated to the life threatening situation. This was his moment of glory. Squall could not take it away this time. And for once…he was happy to help.

Kawadoki had moved on to Irvine which had left him to deal with Quistis. Zell remained completely untouched but attached to all kinds of monitoring machinery as they worked vigorously on the other mercenaries. His vitals seemed…decent enough that they were able to work with their minds unhindered by his physical state. As long as his heart rate stayed above 51 rph, then they would have enough time. Bit was getting dangerously low. They needed to work quickly and precisely.

Xu came over the intercom inside the infirmary and informed the two that the last aerial aircraft had docked and that they were rushing more wounded to them.

"More?!" Kawadoki hissed, applying a healing balm to Irvine's arms.

Seifer couldn't help but feel the slight twinge of anger at this announcement. There was no where to put the wounded. They were completely filled to the brim with the three bodies that currently inhabited the ward right now. They had been forced to send Selphie to heal inside the library for SeeD's sake.

After the initial anger of being overcrowded by the injured wore off, Seifer's dark blue eyes widened at the realization that the injured could consist of Rinoa. What had happened to Rinoa?!

"Where are our reinforcements?"

Kawadoki rolled her eyes as she slipped open Irvine's shirt, taking in the full extent of his injuries, "This isn't the battlefield, Commander. Our help should arrive momentarily."

Seifer sighed, applying another potion-like solvent into Quistis' liquid medicine that was being shot through her veins at timed intervals.

He didn't need reminded that this wasn't a battlefield. He was more than aware that he was attempting to save lives instead of end them. He was more than aware the adrenaline pumping through his veins was completely different than the type of adrenaline that would be pumping through him if he were in the midst of clanging weapons and bloodshed.

He didn't need reminded. He didn't want reminded.

* * *

It was much harder to navigate through the Garden with a potentially mortally wounded Squall. Every corner that was rounded was another fumbling session for Laguna and the aerial watcher. It wasn't like Squall Leonhart was a small package to be carrying. The man stood fairly tall and his muscle mass outweighed his actual mass. All around he was an awkward object to carry, let alone attempt to keep as steady as possible as they made their frantic run to the infirmary.

"They know that we're coming, don't they?"

The aerial watcher grunted at Laguna's question, trying his best to run backwards, because let's face it: Laguna Loire and backwards running was not a good combination. Ever.

Rinoa had taken up the rear, her worried eyes constantly surveying her lover's condition as he was rushed to the medical staff. He had still to open his eyes again, even with the constant jostling. Not that she really expected him to. Eye contact had not been something that had been established during their trip back to Balamb Garden. Honestly…no response had been made by Squall. The last thing he had said to her was 'I'm sorry'. Just the thought made her stomach lurch and her skin crawl. What was he apologizing for? Certainly not for attempting to kill her against his will…certainly not for going to fight a battle that he couldn't win…certainly not for sending her away to protect her…certainly not for…saying goodbye?

She shook her head angrily, rather annoyed that a thought such as that would cross her mind. This was Squall she was thinking of. He wouldn't ever toss the towel in, not after he had fought so hard to stay in the game. This wasn't over. The book still needed to have an ending, on with Squall alive and happy at the end.

Any other finish would be unacceptable, and she would see to it that such a turn of events was never seen. Squall would live his life. He would be happy. They would be happy. Period. There was no other option. Ever. She was going to help him fight through this…somehow…but how?

* * *

Seifer sighed at the response that Quistis was having to his healing balms. She had even grown conscious enough to ridicule him on his technique. She was bound to make a full recovery. He was certain of it.

And Kawadoki had even been able to safely set Irvine on a stretcher and send him to the library to be stationed along with Selphie. Quistis was to be put under the same care and was shipped to the room of knowledge as well.

'_She should feel at home there_,' The former knight thought grumpily, heading over to Zell's body and lifting him onto the operating table with the help of Kawadoki.

He had received the worst of the injuries from the special ops team. His vitals had been acceptable, no where close to good, but acceptable.

"We need to work quickly."

"Are you sure that there's help comin', old woman?" Seifer grumbled, raising an eyebrow as Kawadoki cut open Zell's shirt and exposed his torso.

She mumbled something under her breath about having to work with a complete dickhead when the doors to the infirmary flew open.

"You can't come in here! We're in the middle of a procedure-!" Kawadoki hissed, immediately regretting her exclamation upon realizing that the interrupting party was none other than the President of Esthar, Laguna Loire, an aerial watcher, Rinoa Heartilly, and a very injured High Commander of all of SeeD and a long personal, although slightly awkward favorite of hers, Squall Leonhart.

"He needs medical help NOW!" Laguna commanded, helping his assisting watcher lift his son's bloodied form onto the other operating table, immediately removing Squall's jacket and wife beater.

Kawadoki's heart fell, "What happened to him?"

"He was shot three times."

Seifer rushed to the table, "By whom?"

Laguna's face burned red as he shook his head gravely, "It's not important. He must be treated immediately."

"Sir, I understand the graveness of the situation but we already have a man that is already under intensive care as well. If we do not begin reconstructive procedures immediately, he could lose his life."

"But Squall will die if you do not act immediately!" Laguna growled, his eyes wind as he tried to point to his son.

Rinoa couldn't take it. Zell was on one table, unresponsive. Squall was on the other, suffering a similar life-threatening condition.

Seifer glanced at the pair as well. Who would have thought…the two best friends of Squall's former unit, both vying for the medical attention, one of them having to forfeit their life for the other…unless their help would arrive in a mere matter of seconds. The question was…who? Who was to be the spare and who was the one to make the decision?

"Why don't we just try to work on them both…Laguna…surely being a specialist in gun tactics you can remove bullets from Squall, freeing up Kawadoki and Seifer to work on Zell?" Rinoa asked hopefully, her anxious face a wide array of emotions.

Laguna swallowed, glancing down at his son. It was enough that he had been the one that had put the bullets in his son to begin with, but now he was to extract them as well?

Rinoa touched Laguna's arm timidly, her large brown eyes conveying her understanding, "Squall needs you to be strong, sir…besides, it shouldn't take as long. Remember? You said two had resurfaced…only one is left inside."

A ray of hope. The president shifted his gaze down to his son and took in the damage. The bullet that remained lodged inside was down towards his stomach, away from any vitals. It had been his first shot, the shot that had been aimed to stun instead of kill.

Seifer threw something into Laguna's palms, his blue eyes cold but sure, "This is what you need. It can reach down into the wound as deep as six inches. If the bullet is still not located within six inches of fishing for it, he must receive an incision and have the bullet removed surgically. If that is the case, I will come assist you, and Rinoa, you will take my place in aiding Kawadoki, understood?"

The newcomers stared at Seifer with unblinking eyes for a moment before they each gave him a dazed nod. The former knight returned the favor and quickly turned back around to help Kawadoki with a fading Zell.

Laguna quickly shred himself of his gloves and sterilized his digits as Rinoa slipped an operating jacket over his battle attire, and a cap to keep his long hair from his line of sight as he attempted to free Squall's body of the enemy that had been lodged inside from the hands of his father.

Rinoa swallowed, her body beginning to feel heavy. The smell of sanitizer and the metallic smell of blood was overpowering in this small infirmary. But she wouldn't let it keep her from being of assistance during this crucial time. If she was to be needed, she was going to act. This was her part…and she was determined to perform her part flawlessly.

* * *

The medical staff that had been summoned for aid arrived fifteen minutes later to a room full of shouting and curse words, not to mention a less than pleased president with his hair sprouting off in different directions from underneath a blue medical cap. Had it been under a less serious circumstance, the aid would have found his appearance funny. Instead, they were in fear of his wrathful eyes.

"How far along is this one?" A doctor from Trabia Garden asked, taking a step towards Zell's operating table.

Kawadoki gave him a grave shake of her head but stepped to the side, continuing her efforts as the young doctor joined them in their task, along with a few nurses.

The team from Esthar joined their president in an effort to save his son's life, "Another curaga spell, Rinoa."

Rinoa nodded at the High Commander's father and whispered her incantation, lightly touching Squall's cold hand as a white light enveloped the fighter, replenishing his body to the best of her ability. This was the sixth time she had ben asked to use the spell, along with an esuna spell. A high amount of some unknown toxin had been found to be punishing Squall's already suffering body. Rinoa had suspected that it was the after effects of his possession. With its removal they had been able to focus solely on the recovery effort for SeeD's High Commander.

"Let us take over, sir."

Laguna cast his associates a quick glare before continuing his extraction procedure. They were down to five inches and still no bullet. And at the rate that his vitals kept dropping, they couldn't' afford to keep fishing around for much longer. He needed it out now.

"How many healing spells do you have left. Rinoa?"

Rinoa checked her junction and smiled a bit at her prepared state, something Squall had constantly nagged her about before. She was thankful now, "Eighty-three."

President Loire couldn't help but swell with another round of hope at the level of spells she had in tow, "My boy certainly has some fine taste."

At that thought, Rinoa couldn't help but feel flattered.

"Sir…once the bullet is extracted, what then? Surely you do realize that a mere removal of the bullet will not end this, don't you?"

Laguna stared at his medical staff with confused eyes. Of course he had known…he just hadn't wanted to think about it. He had simply been under the impression that once they were over this mountain that the rest of the journey would be mere hills, hills they could easily overcome. The bullet had been the most important part of the whole process…

Once again, he had been believing a naïve notion. He knew better than to hopelessly believe such things…Squall wasn't out of the woods. A mere removal of a piece of metal wasn't going to free him of his predicament. No.

Then, it happened. The removal tool hit a hard surface. Laguna's eyes immediately fell back down to his son's stomach where the tool had suddenly came to a halt on its journey to locate the bullet.

Laguna pressed down again and felt the hard object again. It could have been only two things: a bone or the bullet. Considering the location of Laguna's exploration, the only possible explanation was the bullet. He had found it.

Bright smiled crossed the faces of everyone around the operating table as the device gripped around the bullet and slowly brought the life-ender to the surface and free of Squall's abdomen.

Rinoa squeezed her beloved's hand and blessed him with another healing spell.

"You've done it sir! Well done. Now let us take it from here."

Laguna stepped back dreamily from his son, his fingers still wrapped around the extraction tool, the bullet still secure between its grips as he held it high for everyone to look at.

They would have relished in the moment a bit longer had it not been for a loud thrashing on the other side of the room, 'Quickly, Rinoa! We need your aid."

Rinoa squeeze Squall's icy hand one more time before rushing to Kawadoki and the others.

'_Zell…_'

* * *

"He's had a reaction to our healing balm…I don't know what Squall did to him but-"

Rinoa mentally cursed Seifer's uneducated assumption that Squall had been the one to do this…technically he had been but…it was too long of a story to divulge in the middle of a medical crisis.

"It was some sort of magic."

"How else is better to fight magic than with magic itself?" Kawadoki breathed, wiping her forehead free of sweat.

Rinoa nodded, surveying Zell's mangled form. He had taken this damage in an attempt to protect her from Ultimecia's wrath…he had freely given his life for her. A true friend. They were all true friends, every single one of them. How she could have ever thought differently sickened her at the moment.

"Quickly, you can't delay. He must receive some sort of magic treatment immediately."

The former sorceress grunted her acknowledgement, wracking her brains for any solution.

"NO!"

She couldn't shift her focus, but the shouts from across the room made her heart fall.

"Tie him down."

"Sir, what's happening?!"

"I don't know…just tie him down. I can't have him thrashing about while we're trying to heal him."

"yes sir."

Kawadoki swallowed, staring at Rinoa as she whispered an incantation and Zell's entire body was enveloped in a white light.

"What spell did she use?"

Seifer shook his head gravely. He had been unable to hear her because of the uproar next to them.

The white light enveloping Zell continued to grow. Seifer's eyes rounded, "Rinoa…what are you doing?"

She didn't speak, instead she continued to whisper her spell, her lips moving at an ungodly rate as the light continued to fill the room.

Laguna bit his lower lip as he attempted to restrain his son's mentally unaware body as it continued to convulse. Something was wrong…but what?

Then a white light came over them, blinding them all as a warming sensation filled their bodies. It was-

-peaceful.

* * *

Where were they? Where was Rinoa? He had to protect Rinoa or else if they ever made it out of this alive, Squall was going to kill him.

"RINOA WHERE ARE YOU?!"

He bolted upright, eyes flying open in an effort to quickly take in his surroundings. Where was he?

"Relax…everyone's fine. You're safe. Rinoa is safe. It's alright."

"Where is everyone?" Zell breathed, reclining into his overly large infirmary pillow as he took in the blurry sight of Kawadoki handing him a foam cup filled with ice.

"Quistis, Irvine, and Selphie have been relocated to the library. They have made quite the recovery in the matter of a day and a half. Selphie has even been in the command center helping out Seifer since early this morning."

Zell couldn't help but feel a wave of relief run over him, "And Irvine?"

Kawadoki rolled her eyes, "Don't get me started on him. He's fine. All he's really asked for is a couple of nude magazines and time alone. Selphie smacked him right in his injured arm. The poor guy nearly cried. And then she told him he deserved it, smiled sweetly, and gave him a long kiss. Typical couple."

Zell smirked, "Sounds like Irvine and Selphs."

She shrugged, "Perhaps. I was unlucky enough to be there to witness that event transpire but I suppose I should be thankful, such acts must surely mean they are healed."

The martial artist gave her a wink, "You got it. What about Quisty…how is she? Where is she?"

Kawadoki held her chin up high, staring down at Zell over the ridge of her nose, "The former instructor is fine. She's still in her bed recovering but she's already completing paperwork. She keeps asking for an update on your condition. She has even asked for a personal meeting with you once you are able to meet with her."

Zell blushed and raised an eyebrow, "She did."

The doctor sighed. All these hormones…

"Nothing to worry about. She turned red after she requested the meeting .I have a feeling it has nothing to do at all with the battle."

"And what about Rinoa…how is she feeling? Did she win?" And then it hit him, the sobering thought that made his stomach flip and his heart skip several beats. If Rinoa had won…that meant…Squall had lost.

Kawadoki yawned, sitting down in the chair next to Zell's bed, "She is fine. She's just a little tired. She's the reason you're here, my boy. I don't know what that spell was she used…but it saved and healed everyone in the room."

"Everyone in the room?"

The doctor blew a strand of her hair from her eyes, "Well of course, Dincht. You think you're so special that you get the infirmary to yourself?"

Zell grit his teeth together. This is why he hated coming to the infirmary. The doctor always found a way to insult his intelligence.

"Well who else was here? They're healed you say…who was it?"

Kawadoki couldn't help but smile at him, his nervousness more than evident as he waited for her answer, "Squall Leonhart."

* * *

"Are you awake yet? You've been sleeping for a while now…I'm getting lonely."

'_Lonely?…where am I? Where is she? Surely I'm dreaming. The last thing I remembered was telling her I was sorry. Have I died? Am I listening to her from my spot in the after life? If this was the after life…why did his body hurt so much?_'

"You look so cute when you frown like that."

'_CUTE?!_' He hated that word.

His eyes instantly flew open and immediately he regretted his forwardness. The bright light stung against his pupils, his teeth grinding together, his air making a hissing noise as he shielded his eyes with his forearm.

A round of laughter followed shortly afterwards, "I knew that would wake you up."

It was Rinoa. She was safe! She was here…she was…laughing.

Slowly he lowered his arm and blinked his eyes into focus. She was sitting beside the bed, leaning her weight on her elbows which she had stationed next to his thigh. She was smiling up at him, her white teeth nearly as bright as the sun from the outside. Where was he?

"Rinoa…w-where are we?"

"Your private quarters."

Finally, he realized she was right. The window was open, contrary to his usual boxed in living space. He liked things dark and secluded. Rinoa had seen to making sure that the room was open and completely invaded with the sun's protruding rays.

"How…did we get here?"

Rinoa giggled again, "It's kind of a long story. But it doesn't matter. We're here. You're safe. I'm safe. Everyone's safe. Everyone, Squall."

Immediately his cloudiness faded and his normal awareness kicked into being as he took in her bright face, "They're all…I didn't…she didn't…"

"I made you stutter? Wow, that's a new one."

He furrowed his brows with irritation. This only caused her to giggle again, "I'm just teasing, Squall. Of course they're alright. The sorceress didn't kill any of them. And you didn't either. Quistis and Selphie are already back to work. Irvine could be working but he's milking this for all its worth."

Squall snorted. Sounded like Irvine.

"What about Zell?"

Rinoa nodded, "Zell is fine too. You two gave us all quite the scare, you know that? We thought we had lost you both there for a while," She added, her eyes filling with fear at the mere memory.

Squall cleared his throat, "But we're fine…I'm fine…just a little-"

"Sore?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Definitely."

Rinoa took his hand and squeezed it, "I'll take sore over dead any day."

"How did you…how am I…still here?" He asked her in a whisper, his eyes falling down to busy themselves with her hands.

His angel cleared her throat, "I don't know, to be honest. You were having a deathly reaction to some sort of medical procedure the medics from Esthar were performing on you, and Zell was having a similar problem. You both were…fading. Quickly. I was trying to think of a way to help and then I started saying an incantation."

"What incantation?"

Rinoa shrugged slightly, "I'm not sure," She said, embarrassedly, "I don't even remember what all I said. It's kind of a blank during that time. And then all of a sudden the room went white and when it finally cleared, you and Zell, along with everyone else, was healed."

Squall stared at his beloved for a moment, "You look tired."

She nodded, "I'm pretty tired but I didn't want to leave your side."

"Don't be childish, Rinoa. You need to heal as well. I'm fine. Everyone is fine…you need to sleep."

Rinoa swallowed, trying to fight back her urge to scream. Squall cleared his throat again, "Rin…what is it?"

"I just…I couldn't bring myself to leave. I nearly lost you Squall…I couldn't leave your side. I'm afraid that if I walk away for even a second that the moment I turn my back, you'll be gone. That this is all just a dream and that when I wake, I'll still be on the battlefield and you'll still be face first in the mud. I can't…I can't lose you again."

The High Commander watched her fight back her tears. Her mouth trembling. Those pretty lips fighting against breaking down.

"Rinoa-"

She shifted her eyes so that she could look up at him through heavy lashes. He swallowed and slowly raised his hand, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "I'm sorry."

Her back went rigid, "You said that too…why did you apologize? It's been killing me!"

Squall blinked at her, rather unsure of what she meant…and then it hit him. The moment he was placed in the cargo bay of the aircraft.

"I…you had asked me to tell you something and I wasn't going to be able to tell you…I didn't know if I was ever going to be ever to tell you again."

Rinoa frowned, "You had…given up?"

Squall tore his attention away from her eyes and instead busied himself with the ceiling, "Rinoa…"

She shook her head angrily, "Squall Leonhart does NOT give up. Ever. You're a fighter. You always look in the face of death and deny it entrance. That time was no different. Had it been anyone else they would have fallen but you…you fought your way through it. You came back to me."

"Only because of you."

The former sorceress stared at him with surprise, "M-me? Don't be silly…I just talked to you. Since when does that save someone's life?" At this she laughed lightly.

Squall swallowed again, "Rinoa…you…you saved me."

She jerked her head upwards, her mouth falling open, "I what?!"

His light blue eyes fell back to her dark brown ones, "I…I heard you call to me. I was lost. But you found me. I couldn't see, but you led me back to this world. You never quit. You saved me."

Rinoa felt her cheeks turn red, "Squall, you give me too much credit."

"I don't give you enough credit, Rinoa."

She smiled softly, "You're embarrassing me."

'_You don't even know the half of it_.' He thought to himself, his openness beginning to make him feel awkward, "Thank you, Rinoa. You saved my life twice."

She rolled her eyes, nudging his thigh, pushing him towards the other side of the bed. He held back a need to explode at the pain that shot through his body as she joined him in the bed, nestling up next to him, her head on his chest, "Well just consider it a repayment of some of the many times that you've saved me, Squall."

A deep rumble sounded through his chest. It never surfaced its way through his mouth but she knew he had begun to chuckle.

"What do we do now?" She asked, her fingers tracing patterns on the covers of his bed.

Squall leaned back, trying to find a comfortable position, "We reconstruct the damaged Gardens. We help the Magic Military gather their wounded and prepare a mass funeral, including one for their fallen leader, Alec."

"We already informed his brother about Alec's death."

Squall grunted his approval, "Has his body been recovered?"

Rinoa nodded, "We have it frozen down in the lab."

"Good. We will return it this evening."

"Yes sir, High Commander," Rinoa teased, squeezing Squall's midsection, "Do you ever not work? How about you just relax with me? You're still injured…remember?"

"You want me to act like Irvine?" Squall hissed, clearly appalled by the general idea.

The rebel shook her head, "No…Irvine is perfectly fine. You're still hurt. I can tell by the way you move. And I'm tired. There's nothing wrong with one more day of rest."

"Rinoa, I can't just-"

"You're staying in bed today and that's an order!" She snapped, her face more than clear that she meant business.

Squall couldn't help but give her that odd smile that only she knew, "…Yes ma'am."

Rinoa grinned, "That's right. Now…" She said, positioning herself so that she could look at him better, her mouth curving into a sly smile, "Tell me where it hurts the most, sir."

The warrior raised an eyebrow, "Pardon?"

"Oh, your mouth. I see. Well there's really only one kind of treatment for that kind of injury."

"I never said-"

She sealed her lips over his instantly, cutting off his sentence and his thought process. His mouth instantly warmed and returned the gesture eagerly. Those lips had saved his life. With just the whisper of his name she brought him back to the world of the living, and just with the pressure of those pieces of skin against his own had returned him to the point of origin, stirring instincts and needs that even the primal man knew. Love and lust.

He removed his mouth from hers, letting her catch her breath, "Rinoa, I owe you something."

This caused her to blink, "Hrmm?"

He nodded, "You asked me…before I apologized on Centra Region. You asked me for something and I never gave it to you."

Instantly her memory kicked in, "You're going to give it to me?"

"Mmmhmm."

She grinned, "Squall-"

He shook his head, instantly silencing her, "One more time you asked to hear it. You deserve it."

She waited patiently, knowing all too well that emotions and Squall never mixed well. Ever. But he seemed determined to give this to her. She had heard him say it before he had gone off to battle. Now that life wasn't in the balance…it would be entirely different to hear. This time it would be breathtaking and core shaking. It wouldn't be a goodbye. It wouldn't be a surrender. This time…it would be everything she had dreamed of.

"Rinoa-"

This time…it would be all theirs. It was always going to be theirs.

"I love you."

At this, those lips that had saved his life, those lips that he had come to love and adore, those lips that held all the world in balance, pressed over his hungrily, returning the notion physically. The world was theirs now. Sure there would be more battles to come and sure there would be times when they felt like killing each other…but it was worth it. Love is never easy.

But the idea and prospect of love was more than enough to venture through life with. Squall was the man she had dreamed of. Maybe not exactly the way she had pictured her prince charming…but dreams weren't always meant to be perfect. He loved her. She loved him. He treated her like royalty. He would protect her with his own life. Anything she wanted he fought to give her. And he danced with her…even if he couldn't dance. He would humiliate himself just to give her a second's happiness. And he was gorgeous to boot. This was her fairy tale come to fruition. This was her happy ending. Her friends were happy and healthy. The planet was safe. And the man she loved was going to be with her forever.

The intercom crackled and a bright and booming voice filled the speakers, "_Squall Leonhart. It's your daddy! I'm comin' for a visit. Get your pants on!"_

Squall's face whitened and his mouth fell open in surprise, his hand instantly bracing itself against his forehead, his typical gesture of humiliation.

Rinoa smiled.

It couldn't get much happier than that.

* * *

………**..Fin! I hope you all liked it. I know it delayed but I hope the length and substance made you all happy. I hope to hear from you all in my future fanfics. But until then, stay safe. Keep reading. And keep dreaming.**

**With all my love,**

**~Nikki~**


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